The Relaxed Male podcast

Disempowering Thoughts

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going to be making some changes to when things are being released. I want to keep the current release schedule for the video of the week the Wednesday blog post and the podcast but I have lots of other plans for the site that are being ignored so Once a month there will be only a video and a podcast. If I can do the other plans and take out an item of the honey-do list and I still have time to write then you can consider the blog post a bonus.

But I have been learning about some of the steps I am needing to attract more clients for signing up. To do that I have to focus on other parts of the site. For instance the landing page for the divorce recovery workshop. Still working on the name but I want to get it done so I can help those men struggling with their purpose in the midst of their marriage falling apart. I also need to work on the Brotherhood of Men's Landing page. I am getting people looking at it but they are not nibbling. So many items like this that need to be changed.

The Podcast will keep going I am not willing to let it slide just yet. I know I need to work on my short game for this business and the long game will still be there.

I am also going to drop the question of the week. Been doing it for about a year and no emails. So I will wait for enough listeners to show up and start asking questions when that happens then I will bring it back. It was a good experiment to see if I can get some people to interact with the show but they just are talking yet.

Main Topic

We are men of power yet what is keeping us from being powerful? We often want to point the blame to someone else or some external circumstance

Examples of Disempowering thoughts
  • It's not MY fault, Everybody/somebody did something to me and now I'm all screwed up.
  • I can’t do follow my dream, I need to prioritize OTHER people because I’m a good person
  • I can't think of that right now I am in too much pain.
  • I don't have time right now I am just too busy.
  • When the kids are out of the house
  • When the time is right
  • I will get it done someday
  • I would if I have enough money
  • It's easy for them!
  • If I had their influence...
  • If I had their money...
  • If...
  • I am practical
  • I'm not that good
  • That's how they get you
  • That just how it goes
  • I have the worst luck
  • I suck at_______
  • I know they are laughing at me
  • I should have started 10 years ago
  • I don't want to be a jerk.
  • It's easier said than done
  • She doesn't like me
  • She doesn't like sex
  • I cant perform as she wants
  • I can't satisfy her
How to change

why are you thinking small?

You think small because of fear. You fear the worst may happen. Could the worst happen? what is the worst? For some, the worst is looking like a fool. While others fear being successful and being called all the. names they called successful people. It could be that you are fearing that you will be judged by your friends as a sellout or worse.

According to Tripp Lanier many times we play life small because want one or more of these 4 things and we are afraid that if we don't play life small we won't get these

  • Freedom
  • Love
  • Aliveness
  • Peace

In fact, because you are living life small is why you are not receiving most of these.

Ask yourself probing questions

Ask yourself questions that dig deeper into why you are thinking this way.

  • What is your why?
  • Why do you think the way you do?
  • When were you told that thought?
  • Who was always telling you that you weren't good enough
  • When as you were growing up did you notice adults saying that very thing?
  • Is what you believe really true or are you just basing it on what you were told?
  • Did someone close to you tell you your dreams were wrong or impractical?
  • Are your thoughts based on fear or scarcity?
  • Where did these thoughts originate?
Be honest with your answers

This can be difficult but it is possible to tell yourself the truth. Often we will actually lie to ourselves so that we don't have to face the uncomfortable feelings of our beliefs are actually not matching up to what we are believing.

Change your Programming

When you find yourself thinking these thoughts that are holding you back change that programming. Instead of you are always unlucky, try I make my luck. I am not good enough to be a part of that group try I am good enough or I am going to be good enough that they can't ignore me. You can take those limiting beliefs and with determination, you can alter them. It's not easy and you will fall back into your old habits when you aren't paying attention. Yet, you can change how you view yourself.

Start doing the opposite of what you are telling yourself. Think you can't cook? then start cooking. Are you going to burn the eggs from time to time? Yep, but you have a choice to get mad at yourself, make it fun give yourself grace and laugh it up. Life is way too short to take seriously.

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IME the first Lord in the younited States of A mericary Now of Newburyport it is the voise of the peopel and I cant Help it and so Let it goue Now as I must be Lord there will foller many more Lords pretty soune for it dont hurt A Cat Nor the mouse Nor the son Nor the water Nor the Eare then goue on all is Easey Now bons broaken all is well all in Love Now I be gin to Lay the corner ston and the kee ston with grat Remembrence of my father Jorge Washington the grate herow 17 sentreys past before we found so good a father to his shildren and Now gone to Rest Timothy Dexter - A Pickle for the Knowing Ones Yet they bought the book because they thought it was a joke. His second edition of the book had punctuation. They were all on the last page with instructions to pepper and salt these as you please. So was he a master genius? No, but I do see the laws of attraction in effect. 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  • The Relaxed Male podcast

    How Men Talk To Each Other


    Men talk to each other in a way that women and some modern males don’t understand. You hear talk of how toxic masculinity is the problem with society and part of that toxic masculinity is how men talk to each other. They mention how we tease young men as they start to develop facial hair and we suggest putting some milk on that peach fuzz and letting the cat lick it off. Some folks believe that is mean and hurtful. When in reality not exposing your son to those innocent taunts is setting him up for failure We enjoy trash talk Men like to talk trash. It is a means to build bonds and to test each other’s wit and how fast we can think on our feet. It is a fun and challenging skill to have. To be able to talk trash and then back it up, cause if you fail at walking the walk you will get piled on even worse. This way it teaches a man how, to be honest, and to not be boastful. The ribbings are good for us They show the rest of the group that the new guy can take it. It is a means of understanding new guy It builds bonds Men talk directly Proper communication is direct. To hem and haw around the topic doesn’t serve anybody. Because what is implied by one man is easily misinterpreted by another guy. This is a skill nice guys have to fight off for the rest of their lives. it is so easy to fall back into the habit of beating around the bush that we lose the effectiveness of a good direct line of communication. Men talk assertively Nice guys don’t like to talk assertively Grown boys communicate in three infective ways Passive Aggressive Passive-aggressive We teach our boys how to handle their emotions by ribbing them. This helps boys grow thicker skin and not be overly sensitive. We do a huge disservice to our boys by coddling them. Yes that is what moms are suppose to do while men are there to help them understand how to use their emotions effectively. Many people don’t like this kind of talk because of the following reasons. they find it intimidating they find assertive communication to be mean. 
  • The Relaxed Male podcast

    Aim For Awesome


    What holds you back from taking the steps you are wanting to take? Now, these reasons can be many, but one of the biggest reasons is fear. We are afraid that we will change. We fear that our friends won’t like us. We are afraid of what happens if you succeed.  We also fear what people will think if we fail. What happens if we screw something up? What if we are seen as a fraud. Do we really deserve this success if our idea takes off?  According to Tripp Lanier, We want 4 things out of life. Freedom Love To feel Alive Peace. How do you achieve these 4 things? I let you in a little secret you have to play large. Many of us want to play life small and then wonder why we don’t achieve any of these life’s desires. This is because we don’t even give ourselves the ability to try for that awesome life. We aim for the easier that will do. Sometimes by sheer luck we get the awesome spot but that is so much rarer in this case than if we were to aim for awesome. Yet most of the time we are holding ourselves back. Why Aim for awesome? Because you will hit it more times than if you aren’t aiming for it. You may have to give up on the easy steps. You will also miss the crappy events a lot more. You will often land in the average zone, but your chances of being awesome are so much better when you are actually aiming for awesome. Why the Awesome life? Sit back and let your mind wander. You can even do this in the car. Ask yourself what would life be like if your dreams come true? How awesome and fulfilled would you be? What would you do? Now many guys would say they would take it easy, and that would be the wrong answer and that is why you have to keep working. The moment you start coasting is the moment you start slowing down.  Now does this mean you don’t get to rest? No, actually you get more chances to rest and enjoy life’s sweeter moments but if you think you can just sit back on your laurels then you will find yourself back where you started. The awesome life isn’t an easy life. You have to find out what fulfills you. That is where you find your happiness and fulfillment. Many guys see that life isn’t an easy street when they reach a certain point. That is often because they failed to realize that they are not achieving that peace, aliveness, Love, or Freedom they thought they would have. Instead, they are wrapped up in the fear of what happens next. So they start to play small and with that small action, they let go of what they are really striving for.

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