459. I'm so tired of being ambitious

Ambition feels like my entire personality and I'm trying to fix that. Who are we beyond our ambition? In a world that only cares about success, output and productivity, what do we feel like we'll lose when we slow down? Watch on Netflix: HERE In this episode I explore:  The psychology of highly ambitious people The lies that ambition tells us  How ambition steals your joy  How to value yourself beyond your output  What matters more than ambition The way to slow ambition and why it builds more  If you can relate, this is the episode for you!  Follow Jemma on Instagram: @jemmasbeg Follow the podcast on Instagram: @thatpsychologypodcast Subscribe on Substack: @thepsychologyofyour20s For business: [email protected]  The Psychology of your 20s is not a substitute for professional mental health help. If you are struggling, distressed or require personalised advice, please reach out to your doctor or a licensed psychologist. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Stress has a reputation for burning us out, torching our relationships and even causing our lives to end prematurely. But not all stress is created equal. In this episode, we explore the difference between eustress - good stress - and distress, understand why our experience of stress is rooted in our perception of it, and understand how we can harness stress as a powerful force for motivation, energy and well-being.  Watch on Netflix: HERE We unpack: • The difference between eustress - good stress - and distress• Why avoiding stress can actually cause cognitive decline• The dangers of too much stress on our bodies and minds• The Yerkes-Dodson law and the ‘sweet spot’ of stress• How we can reframe our approach to stress to create our own ‘biology of courage’ Follow Jemma on Instagram: @jemmasbeg Follow the podcast on Instagram: @thatpsychologypodcast Subscribe on Substack: @thepsychologyofyour20s For business: [email protected]  Our favourite sources:  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RcGyVTAoXEU&vl=en https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC8384975/ https://www.healthline.com/health/yerkes-dodson-law   The Psychology of your 20s is not a substitute for professional mental health help. If you are struggling, distressed or require personalised advice, please reach out to your doctor or a licensed psychologist. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

We treat our memories like a reliable recording of the past. We remember what happened, how we felt, where we were, and what was said. But what if our account is more like a subjective recollection of events? In this episode, we explore the concept of false memories – how they form, why this matters in our everyday lives, and their more serious potential impacts. We explore:•        The cognitive mechanisms behind false memories•        The misinformation effect and the car crash study•        Why our memories are open to imagination, repetition and social influence•        Potential consequences of false memories in news reporting and eyewitness testimony•        The importance of ethical therapeutic practices and memory Watch on Netflix: HERE Follow Jemma on Instagram: @jemmasbeg Follow the podcast on Instagram: @thatpsychologypodcast Subscribe on Substack: @thepsychologyofyour20s For business: [email protected]  Our favourite sources:https://innocenceproject.org/dna-exonerations-in-the-united-states/ https://www.cambridge.org/core/journals/memory-mind-and-media/article/fake-memories-a-metaanalysis-on-the-effect-of-fake-news-on-the-creation-of-false-memories-and-false-beliefs/B6A66A305AFD6724E1C1C56A68BB5CF2 https://psycnet.apa.org/doiLanding?doi=10.1037%2F0021-9010.83.3.360 https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0022537174800113?via%3Dihub https://link.springer.com/article/10.3758/BF03196174 The Psychology of your 20s is not a substitute for professional mental health help. If you are struggling, distressed or require personalised advice, please reach out to your doctor or a licensed psychologist. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Why does feeling sad sometimes feel... so good? Whether it’s putting on the saddest song you know, rewatching a movie that always makes you cry, indulging in a little self-pity or finally letting yourself have a good sob, there is something strangely satisfying about sadness. And psychology may be able to explain why. In this episode, we explore the surprising psychological value of sadness, including: Why sadness can sometimes feel pleasurable The psychology of sad songs and sad movies The tragedy paradox  Why a good cry can feel so cathartic Emotional suppression and why it exhausts us Hedonic adaptation and why happiness loses its intensity The surprising appeal of self-pity Watch on Netflix: HERE Follow Jemma on Instagram: @jemmasbeg Follow the podcast on Instagram: @thatpsychologypodcast Subscribe on Substack: @thepsychologyofyour20s For business: [email protected] The Psychology of your 20s is not a substitute for professional mental health help. If you are struggling, distressed or require personalised advice, please reach out to your doctor or a licensed psychologist. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

It’s a known fact that time moves faster as we get older, but what does this really mean, and can we slow it down? In this episode, we’re going to try to make sense of why flies as we enter our 20s - from memory, to novelty, eye movements and the effects of COVID.  Watch on Netflix: HERE We explore: Different types of time: measured vs. perceived What makes time feel fast and slow? The effect of the pandemic The relationship between time and age How social media is making time go faster The 4 ways we can feel like we have more time  Happy listening!  Follow Jemma on Instagram: @jemmasbeg Follow the podcast on Instagram: @thatpsychologypodcast Subscribe on Substack: @thepsychologyofyour20s For business: [email protected]  The Psychology of your 20s is not a substitute for professional mental health help. If you are struggling, distressed or require personalised advice, please reach out to your doctor or a licensed psychologist. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The Oedipus complex is one of Freud’s most renowned and shocking ideas. In this episode, we dive into the origins of the theory and whether anything really remains once its gendered assumptions and controversial sexual claims are stripped away. We explore:- How the Greek tragedy of Oedipus inspired Freud’s theory- What Freud meant by unconscious childhood desire and parental rivalry- The importance of the phallic stage- How Freud believed it was resolved - and what fixation was thought to mean for adulthood- His problematic gendered ideas- The scientific and ethical problems surrounding the theory- How modern psychoanalysis has reinterpreted Oedipal ideas Watch on Netflix: HERE Follow Jemma on Instagram: @jemmasbeg Follow the podcast on Instagram: @thatpsychologypodcast Subscribe on Substack: @thepsychologyofyour20s For business: [email protected]  Our favourite sources: https://lacanianworksexchange.net/wp-content/uploads/2023/05/19260101-The-Flight-from-Womanhood-The-Masculinity-Complex-in-Women-as-Viewed-by-Men-and-by-Women-Karen-Horney-IJP-7-p324-339.pdf   https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/abs/10.1002/j.2167-4086.2004.tb00151.x   https://psycnet.apa.org/doiLanding?doi=10.1037%2F0033-3204.32.4.535   https://www.routledge.com/The-Oedipus-Complex-A-Contemporary-Introduction/Rohleder/p/book/9781032495651   The Psychology of your 20s is not a substitute for professional mental health help. If you are struggling, distressed or require personalised advice, please reach out to your doctor or a licensed psychologist. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

There are a surprising number of myths and misconceptions about the brain, particularly with regards to its development in our 20s. In this episode, we unpack a number of surprising facts and studies about the brain so that we can in turn better understand how to make the most of our 20s.  Watch on Netflix: HERE We unpack: • The science of neuroplasticity and how our brain can rewire itself • Why, on a cognitive level, a broken heart may not be so different from a broken arm• How much of our brains we really use (hint - it’s more than 10%!)• The gut-brain axis and why poor gut health can cause depression - not the other way around• Why our brain needs to forget to function properly• The real age our brain stops developing Follow Jemma on Instagram: @jemmasbeg Follow the podcast on Instagram: @thatpsychologypodcast Subscribe on Substack: @thepsychologyofyour20s For business: [email protected]  The Psychology of your 20s is not a substitute for professional mental health help. If you are struggling, distressed or require personalised advice, please reach out to your doctor or a licensed psychologist. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The fear of missing out or not seizing every moment are some of the biggest worries we experience in our 20s. However, spending time alone isn’t the same as being lonely or doing nothing - in fact, it’s quite the opposite. In this episode, we explore why we resist being alone - but why learning to do so is psychologically positive, and can even be a superpower. Watch on Netflix: HERE • Why we culturally and socially villainise solitude• How constantly being online interrupts our ability to be truly alone • The creative and emotional benefits of spending time alone• Why our capacity to be alone is a reflection of our overall maturity • How we can embrace the power of solitude Follow Jemma on Instagram: @jemmasbeg Follow the podcast on Instagram: @thatpsychologypodcast Subscribe on Substack: @thepsychologyofyour20s For business: [email protected]  Our favourite sources:  https://spsp.org/news-center/character-context-blog/social-costs-seeking-solitude  https://www.ted.com/talks/susan_cain_the_power_of_introverts?language=en  https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2025/feb/02/quiet-please-the-remarkable-power-of-silence-for-our-bodies-and-our-minds  The Psychology of your 20s is not a substitute for professional mental health help. If you are struggling, distressed or require personalised advice, please reach out to your doctor or a licensed psychologist. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Dating can bring out the psychologist in us. One delayed reply, one vague comment, and we try to decode someone’s attachment style, childhood wounds, and capacity for commitment. But while psychological language can help us make sense of relationships, it can also become a way to avoid the much harder truth - sometimes we simply don’t know yet. In this episode we look at why overanalysing feels so reassuring, especially when we have been hurt before, and how the search for hidden meaning can distract us from direct communication, being present, and the person actually in front of us. Watch on Netflix: HERE We explore:• The difference between noticing patterns and control rumination• Why dating uncertainty makes labels feel so appealing• Why overanalysing often comes from fear rather than insight• Why this can stop us from being vulnerable ourselves• Why behaviour matters more than the story behind it• How to slow the spiral and regain clarity, communication, and self-trust Follow Jemma on Instagram: @jemmasbeg Follow the podcast on Instagram: @thatpsychologypodcast Subscribe on Substack: @thepsychologyofyour20s For business: [email protected]  Our favourite sources:https://greatergood.berkeley.edu/article/item/how_to_stop_overthinking_your_relationship https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S2352250X16300306?via%3Dihub https://psycnet.apa.org/doiLanding?doi=10.1037%2F0022-3514.75.2.545 https://psycnet.apa.org/record/1996-01742-003  The Psychology of your 20s is not a substitute for professional mental health help. If you are struggling, distressed or require personalised advice, please reach out to your doctor or a licensed psychologist. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

In this episode, we explore the psychology of the quarter life reinvention: the period that can come after the confusion, uncertainty and identity crisis of our early and mid-20s, when things finally begin to fall into place. We look at how the quarter life crisis can transform us, the stages we move through, and why sometimes everything has to fall apart before we can rebuild a life that feels more like our own. We explore:• The difference between a quarter life crisis and a quarter life reinvention• The ‘locked in’ and ‘locked out’ forms of the quarter life crisis• The four stages of the crisis• The signs that you’re entering your reinvention era• How experimentation, risk taking and new experiences help us rebuild• The role of narrative psychology and rewriting the story you tell about your life• Why learning to tolerate uncertainty may be the key to finally moving forward Watch on Netflix: HERE Follow Jemma on Instagram: @jemmasbeg Follow the podcast on Instagram: @thatpsychologypodcast Subscribe on Substack: @thepsychologyofyour20s For business: [email protected]  The Psychology of your 20s is not a substitute for professional mental health help. If you are struggling, distressed or require personalised advice, please reach out to your doctor or a licensed psychologist. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.