Co-Piloting Your Relationship: Communication and Connection

What actually happens at an Alpha Reset, and what does a man's life look like seven days after he walks out of one? Tim Matthews hosts an alpha recap of a reset that finished the week before this recording, joined by Lawrence Davis and Stephen Fleming, two men who went through the reset themselves and have since come back as volunteers. This is the format Doug and Tim used to run on the show years ago, dusted off because the question men keep asking has not changed: is it worth leaving my business, my wife and my kids for four days to go somewhere I know nothing about with men I have only met on Zoom? Stephen calls his reset one of the most transformative experiences of his life. Lawrence, an ex-soldier who has been in a war zone, says day two was more frightening than going to war, because the work was emotional. Neither of them will tell you what actually happens in the room, and that is deliberate. What they will tell you is the shape of it: day zero and the masks men arrive in, day one and its theme of truth, day two's release and reclaim, day three's vision and the tools to take home. Tim walks through why the men hand over their phones on the evening of day zero, why the agenda is never shared in advance, and why the reset is designed as an exercise in giving up control. The three of them talk about the 2am conversation almost every one of these men is having alone, the moment a man hears another man say the same thing out loud, and the shame that starts dissolving the second he realises he is not the only one. The last ten minutes are the part most men will want. Tim gives a live update on the group that finished six days earlier: a man separated since Easter who has now twice been invited back into the house for a cup of coffee, and another who got the kids up, made breakfast and put music on while his wife slept in, without the resentment and without fishing for credit. Then there is the other group, the men who signed up and stepped away from the line in the days before. Same seven days. Completely different trajectory. The discussion covers what the Alpha Reset is in the words of men who have done it, why high-performing men arrive confused rather than broken, the Five Territories inventory and the pluses and minuses it reveals, why the real work starts after the reset ends, and what to do if you are the man still sitting on the fence. Episode Chapters 00:00 - Cold open: what the Alpha Reset is, in their words 00:39 - Welcome, and meet Lawrence Davis and Stephen Fleming 01:47 - Stephen: one of the most transformative experiences of my life 03:04 - Why the reset is kept private 03:44 - Lawrence: taking the armour off and refinding yourself 05:27 - A wife in tears of joy a year on 06:24 - A word from Doug Holt 07:26 - Three to four years of therapy in four days 08:36 - Bringing back the alpha recap 09:40 - Day zero: the masks men arrive in 11:13 - Why business is the last thing that comes up 12:48 - I did everything right, so why do I feel like this? 14:21 - Coach Franco and the demand for an answer 16:16 - Day one: an exercise in giving up control 17:31 - Handing over the phones 18:07 - Day one, and the theme is truth 19:57 - Being challenged by men who have your best interests at heart 21:04 - The 2am conversation every man thinks he is having alone 24:11 - Realising there are men you can actually talk to 25:14 - Day two: release and reclaim 27:38 - Lawrence: scarier than a war zone 31:24 - Stephen: apologising for existing 32:51 - Day three: breath work and vision 35:15 - Reintegration calls and why the real work starts here 36:50 - The inventory: Five Territories, pluses and minuses 39:15 - Turning the inventory into six to twelve months of change 40:19 - Hell no lists, and buying the motorbike back 43:52 - Advice for the man still on the fence 44:41 - Crabs in a bucket: why life fights your change 46:42 - Seven days later: two different trajectories 47:42 - Wives opening the door again 50:53 - Get off the fence Curious about the Alpha Reset? Find us on Instagram at @thepowerfulman and send a DM with the word RESET. One of the team will reach out with more information so you can see whether it is for you. Want to understand how your relationship got here and the step by step way back? Watch Doug's free video training at The Powerful Man Scales. Want the book? A Man's Guide on How to Save Your Marriage Without Talking About It. Watch this episode on YouTube: https://youtu.be/UrQ7bC7OvTc  

Episode 1213 Most men think they have stopped reacting because they have stopped shouting. Then their wife brings up the same complaint for the fourth time and they cannot work out why she will not let it go. In this episode of The TPM Show, host Tim Matthews sits down with Stephen Fleming for a deep dive into DEER mode: Defend, Excuse, Explain, React. Most men meet DEER at a surface level and learn to stop the explosion. This conversation goes underneath that, into the subtle versions that collapse presence without raising the volume at all. Tim walks through what each letter actually looks like in a real marriage. Defend is the reflex to correct the facts, which is really a move to protect your self-image and escape shame. Explain is using words to reduce your own internal discomfort, and it quietly erases any apology that came before it. Excuse is avoiding responsibility without looking like you are avoiding it, because everything you say happens to be factually true. React is not only blowing up: it is going quiet, going cold, leaving the room, over-agreeing, withdrawing warmth because you did not get what you wanted. You will hear why her complaint about the dishes was never about the dishes, the difference between shame and guilt and why that difference decides your whole response, what validation actually sounds like word for word, the four Fs your nervous system defaults to under pressure, and the somatic antidote Tim taught at the grounded masculine leadership training in Japan. If your wife keeps bringing up the past, if you feel misunderstood when you are genuinely trying, or if you went quiet and called it maturity, this one is for you. Episode Chapters 00:00 - What DEER Mode Stands For 00:25 - Welcome to The TPM Show with Tim Matthews and Stephen Fleming 01:08 - Why DEER Mode Came Up in the Community This Week 01:23 - Defend, Excuse, Explain, React: The Short Version 04:06 - Doug Holt Mid-Roll: A Man's Guide on How to Save Your Marriage 05:00 - How Problem-Solving Mode Erases the Apology You Just Made 05:40 - Leadership Fails the Moment Presence Collapses 06:17 - D for Defend: Correcting the Facts to Protect Your Self-Image 08:30 - Shame Versus Guilt, and Why the Difference Decides Your Response 10:07 - What Real Validation Sounds Like, Word for Word 10:45 - E for Explain: Using Words to Reduce Your Own Discomfort 11:18 - The Grounded Masculine Leadership Workbook from Japan 12:44 - What Explaining Sounds Like, Including "Is It Really a Big Deal?" 13:36 - Why Explaining Pulls a Man Out of His Body and Out of Leadership 14:55 - Explain Versus Taking Responsibility: Intent or Impact 15:46 - A Real Text Message, and Everything It Missed 17:35 - Ownership First: What the Message Should Have Said 19:53 - Somatic Signs You Are Explaining: Tight Jaw, Urgency to Talk 20:19 - The Antidote: Breathe, Slow Down, Feel Your Feet 20:51 - Fewer Words, More Listening, Letting Silence Do the Work 23:15 - Validation Goes Both Ways 23:38 - Defensiveness as One of the Four Horsemen 24:31 - E for Excuse: Avoiding Responsibility Without Looking Like It 26:07 - R for React: Why Walking Out Counts 27:25 - Reactivity Is Not About Volume, It Is About Absence 27:40 - The Four Fs: Fight, Flight, Freeze, Fawn 29:23 - Withdrawing Presence Because You Did Not Get What You Wanted 30:20 - Why The Activation Method Goes Broad and This Goes Deep 31:32 - Coming Back Into the Body: Alpha Rise and Shine, Alpha Decompression 32:41 - "I'm Not Reacting Anymore, I'm Just Going Quiet" 33:41 - Stephen's Takeaways 33:44 - A Micro Incident on the Way Out the Door 35:07 - The Repair, and How Fast It Could Have Happened 35:35 - Get the Advanced DEER Dynamics Cheat Sheet Want the cheat sheet on mapping the advanced DEER dynamics? Email DEER to [email protected] and one of the team will send it over. Get Doug's book, A Man's Guide on How to Save Your Marriage Without Talking About It. You cover the shipping, we cover the book. Find out where your marriage really stands with the free video training at The Powerful Man Scales. Learn more about The Activation Method. Watch this episode on YouTube: https://youtu.be/cpSlBpXtRoM  

Episode #1212 "My wife just isn't interested in sex." Doug Holt has heard that sentence more times than he can count, and his answer is the same every time. She is not uninterested in sex. She is uninterested in sex with you right now, and there are reasons for that you can actually do something about. In this episode of The Powerful Man Show, Doug is joined by TPM program advisor Christopher Hansen to answer one of the most common questions men post inside the TPM app: how do you reignite the spark in the bedroom? The answer starts somewhere most men do not expect. Not technique. Not frequency. Safety. Most men understand physical safety. Provide and protect, that part is obvious. What gets missed is emotional protection, and Doug is open about missing it in his own marriage for years. A fight gets brushed under the rug. Then another. Resentment builds like mud on glass until two people cannot see each other clearly, and the distance that opens is not physical. It is the distance that turns a wife into a roommate with a ring. From there the conversation gets practical. Doug walks through the Hidden Motives Technique for making her feel seen and heard, the Clean Slate Method for wiping the resentment off the glass, and a question he has asked hundreds of men that stops them cold: is your bedroom actually fun? Most men have never once considered it. They want her to be uninhibited in a room she has no particular reason to want to be in. He also shares the Yes, No, Maybe sheet from The Activated Couple, the exercise he and his wife built, and what happens almost every time a man takes it home. The story of the former pastor who was certain his wife would answer no to everything, and got 90 percent yes, is the clearest proof in the episode of what emotional safety unlocks. Inside this episode: why a woman's nervous system has to settle before anything else happens, what Doug overheard women telling their trainers for years, why men are microwaves and women are a slow boil, how DEER mode in the kitchen shows up as vanilla intimacy in the bedroom, and why the man who can hold her emotions outside the bedroom gets to see everything inside it. Doug's line for the men listening: it was not technique that changed things. He made her feel safe, and that was the key he had been missing. Common questions this episode answers: Why isn't my wife interested in sex? How do I reignite passion in my marriage? What is emotional safety and why does it affect intimacy? What is the Hidden Motives Technique? How do I talk to my wife about what we both want in the bedroom? Why does my wife feel like a roommate? Chapters: 00:00 - What this episode is about 00:42 - What's happening at TPM right now 02:37 - The question men keep asking in the app 03:00 - Why safety is the missing element 05:45 - Attacking the problem at its root 06:49 - What women actually talk about 14:34 - Be inquisitive: the Yes, No, Maybe sheet 17:37 - A gift for you 18:38 - How to exchange the sheet 22:38 - Why the bedroom is where she is most vulnerable 23:02 - Women are dying inside for this 25:07 - How to get the book free Get Doug's book, "A Man's Guide on How to Save Your Marriage Without Talking About It," free. You cover shipping. Learn more about The Powerful Man and The Activation Method. Watch this episode on YouTube: https://youtu.be/yfR8ciBILm8  

Episode #1211 Nobody falls asleep at the wheel on purpose. That is the whole problem with it. In this episode of The Powerful Man Show, Tim Matthews sits down with Stephen Fleming, six years into the movement and through just about everything TPM runs, to work through one image: you and your wife are co-pilots of the same plane. Not a passenger and a pilot. Two people in a locked cockpit, both watching the instruments, both responsible for where this thing lands. Tim walks the drift the way it actually happens. The tiredness creeps up so slowly you never notice you nodded off. She tries to wake you, in various ways, for a long time. Eventually she stops trying and takes the captain's hat herself, because somebody has to fly the plane. And then one day you wake up, say you are ready to co-pilot again, and find out she is not handing it back. Not yet. Not until you prove it. Stephen is honest about his own version of that. The brick wall his wife Jane described. The years of solving problems alone in the cave and coming back with a finished answer, wondering why nothing in the marriage moved. The pendulum swinging from bringing too much work home to bringing none of it, and her saying she no longer knew what was going on with him. The turn in the conversation is about what leadership actually is. Tim's argument: leadership is initiating, and turning towards your wife and letting her into your world is initiating. The stoic version, where you have the answer and never show the mess, is lonely and she can tell you are faking it anyway. The version that works is saying you have not figured this out yet, that you will, and that you want her read on it. Inside this episode: why she will not give the captain's hat back straight away, what belongs in the relational space and what does not, how to vent without dumping, the difference between honest uncertainty and asking her to ground you, why self-awareness is the number one thing women say is missing, and why the men who complain loudest about having no connection are the ones not bringing any. Stephen's line for the men listening: you cannot co-pilot without communicating. Common questions this episode answers: What does it mean to fall asleep at the wheel in a marriage? Why won't my wife let me lead again? How do I share problems with my wife without dumping on her? Is vulnerability weak leadership? What does my wife mean when she says I am not self-aware? How do I rebuild trust after checking out of my marriage? Chapters: 00:00 - What this episode is about 00:40 - Six years in: meet Stephen Fleming 01:22 - Falling asleep at the wheel 02:23 - You are both co-pilots 03:28 - She hands you the captain's hat 04:38 - A gift for you 05:40 - Checking the vitals, and the locked cockpit 07:24 - What co-piloting looks like after six years 08:27 - "Today I'm only at 10%" 09:22 - Why she does not hand the hat back 10:01 - Where leadership fits in 11:46 - Turbulence and the seatbelt sign 13:14 - When the plane is already going down 14:52 - What belongs in the relational space 15:43 - Venting without dumping 17:52 - The cave, and why the problem never moves 19:36 - Into me, you see 22:25 - Owning what you have not figured out 26:21 - The missed moments of connection 27:48 - Check-ins, date nights, chief fun officer 29:34 - Top three takeaways 31:25 - Your homework Watch Doug's FREE TRAINING on getting the love, respect and admiration back in your marriage. Get Doug's book, "A Man's Guide on How to Save Your Marriage Without Talking About It," free. You cover shipping. Watch this episode on YouTube: https://youtu.be/nB-gYM9yt0k  

Episode #1210 You know something is wrong. You can feel it in the room. And when you ask, she says "I'm fine." In this episode of The Powerful Man Show, Doug Holt sits down with his wife Erin Holt to answer the pile of questions TPM men keep sending in about those two words. Not with a script to recite, but with the thing underneath: she does not feel safe sharing. Erin defines what emotional safety actually means to a woman, and it is not what most men assume. It is not agreement, it is not calm, and it is not the absence of conflict. It is whether she believes you can hold what she is about to hand you. Doug brings the picture that makes it land for men. Imagine a woman walking through dark woods with a deer beside her. Now put a wolf beside her instead. Which one feels safer? In TPM, DEER is what a deactivated man does: Defend, Excuse, Explain, React. The wolf is Wise, Open, Loving, Fierce. She can tell the difference without you saying a word, and she is choosing her honesty accordingly. Then there is the story. A man who had been doing the work for years heard his wife say she had an emotional affair a decade ago. His reaction was not what you would expect, and it is the clearest proof in the episode of what emotional safety actually buys you. Erin also covers the part most men never factor in: hormones. She walks through the luteal phase honestly, including what it does to energy, to getting dressed, and to the bandwidth required to have a hard conversation. Not as an excuse, as information you are currently operating without. Inside this episode: why "I'm fine" is sometimes safety and sometimes a middle finger, the exact words Erin says land better than Doug's version, why the words do not work at all without the energy behind them, how to get into her world instead of assuming she is the same woman she was ten years ago, and the question Doug asked a resentful husband that stopped him cold. Doug's close for the men listening: you would do it for a stranger down the street. The only difference is the story you are telling yourself. Common questions this episode answers: Why does my wife say she is fine when she is not? What does emotional safety mean to a woman? What is DEER mode? How do I get my wife to open up to me? Does she want me to read her mind? How do hormones affect my wife's mood and communication? Chapters: 00:00 - What this episode is about 00:54 - Where these questions came from 01:17 - The real reason she says "I'm fine" 01:31 - What emotional safety actually means 03:46 - The deer, the wolf, and DEER mode 05:53 - "I had an emotional affair 10 years ago" 06:49 - Why "I'm fine" is the path of least resistance 07:32 - When "I'm fine" is teenager energy 08:11 - A gift for you 09:27 - How hormones change the answer 12:36 - Role play: what to actually say 13:31 - Why the words do not work without the energy 14:21 - Get into her world 17:07 - Is she expecting you to read her mind? 18:30 - Run the bath, handle dinner, be there 19:20 - The woman down the street 20:43 - In the moment of insight Get Doug's book, "A Man's Guide on How to Save Your Marriage Without Talking About It," free. You cover shipping. Learn more about The Powerful Man and The Activation Method. Watch this episode on YouTube: https://youtu.be/K0GJ1o00eEA  

Episode #1209 What happens when you're respected at work but feel powerless in your own marriage? In this revisit episode of The Powerful Man Show, we're bringing back a conversation with Doug Holt and Christopher Hansen that tackles three challenges many married businessmen face: losing their wife's trust, struggling to stay grounded during conflict, and wondering how to rebuild attraction when the spark has faded. You might be the guy everyone turns to for answers at work. You make decisions, lead teams, and handle pressure. But when you get home, it feels like every decision is questioned, every conversation becomes an argument, and your wife no longer sees you the way she once did. So what's really going on? Doug and Chris revisit real questions from men who are successful professionally but feel stuck in their relationships. They explain why leadership at home isn't about controlling your wife, why emotional safety matters, and how becoming more confident and grounded can change the way you show up in your marriage. In this episode, you'll discover: Why your wife might question your decisions, even when you're successful at work. How a lack of follow-through and boundaries can damage trust. What it really means to "be the lighthouse" when your wife is upset. Why reacting, defending, and explaining can make disagreements worse. How personal growth, self-respect, and emotional connection can help rebuild attraction. Why investing in yourself is an important part of creating a healthier marriage. One of the biggest reminders from this conversation is that you don't have to wait for your wife to change before you start making changes yourself. Whether you're hearing this conversation for the first time or returning to it for another perspective, it's an opportunity to look at how you're showing up as a husband and what you can do differently. Episode Chapters 00:00 Why successful men struggle with leadership at home 00:40 Introduction to the marriage Q&A 01:18 Why your wife questions your decisions 01:49 Rebuilding trust through consistency and boundaries 05:21 Why you don't need your wife's validation 06:40 What does being the lighthouse really mean? 07:13 How to stay grounded when your wife is upset 08:47 Using humor and connection instead of reacting 11:10 Why improving your marriage requires consistent effort 12:38 Free training to help rebuild your marriage 15:30 Can you rebuild attraction after your wife loses interest? 16:41 The role of self-improvement in attraction 19:04 How self-worth influences intimacy and connection 20:23 Learning to love yourself and reconnect emotionally 21:59 Why taking action matters more than waiting Prefer to watch the conversation? Watch the podcast video on YouTube: https://youtu.be/BdJCWvCxjCI Ready to understand what's missing in your marriage? Doug shares a free training that explains how relationships lose love, respect, admiration, and intimacy, and what you can start doing to rebuild them. Watch the Scales Free Training: https://thepowerfulman.com/scales The Powerful Man Show helps married businessmen develop stronger leadership, improve their relationships, and create more fulfilling lives through personal growth and practical action.

Episode #1207 Why do so many men wait until their wife has already checked out before they do anything about their marriage? In this episode of The Powerful Man Show, Doug Holt sits down with his wife Erin Holt to talk about the quiet drift that ends marriages: the husband who buries his head in work and survives on hope, and the wife who contorts herself until she disappears. If you have ever thought "it will be better after Christmas," or "the kids will be older, then we can reconnect," this conversation is the one you have been avoiding. Doug names the pattern he hears from almost every man who comes through TPM: I saw what was happening and I decided to wait a little longer. Sometimes the waiting costs him the marriage, because by the time he moves, she has not just made up her mind, she has closed the door on reconciliation. Erin brings the other side of it. She explains what a gray marriage looks like from a woman's chair, why so many wives go quiet instead of loud, and what is actually happening when a woman reaches the point of "I cannot live like this anymore." She also gives the simplest first move she uses with her own clients, and it takes five minutes. Inside this episode: why men chase significance at work when they cannot find it at home, how resentment builds on both sides when nobody is talking, what a leader actually does when the marriage is stuck, how to slow a wife down without managing her, and the one question that breaks a woman out of all-or-nothing thinking. Doug's line for the men listening: you are a hopium addict, and the antidote to the addiction is action. Common questions this episode answers: What is a gray marriage? Why does my wife seem emotionally checked out? Why do I keep waiting to fix my marriage? How do I reconnect with my wife without a big conversation? What should a husband do when his wife says she is done? Episode Chapters 00:00 Why couples keep waiting to reconnect 00:27 Why some people want to blow up their marriage and start over 01:05 Is this really all there is? 02:21 Why men bury themselves in work 03:00 How businessmen get their needs met outside the home 04:00 The danger of surviving on "hopium" 05:01 Why waiting can cost you your marriage 06:48 What a disconnected "gray marriage" looks like 07:10 How women lose themselves trying to keep everything together 07:41 Free Book 08:34 When giving more turns into exhaustion and loneliness 09:34 How resentment builds on both sides 11:00 Someone has to go first 12:54 Taking responsibility for your part of the relationship 14:25 Healing the parts of yourself you've outgrown 15:19 When blowing everything up feels like the only option 17:08 Reconnecting with yourself before reconnecting with your spouse 19:28 How slowing down can help women reconnect with themselves 20:16 Creating intentional space without filling it 22:49 How a husband can support his wife in slowing down 24:18 Finding the "sacred third" instead of choosing between two extremes 25:45 Stop waiting for your spouse to change first 26:16 The antidote to "hopium" is action 29:44 Take action before it's too late f your marriage is struggling and you've lost some of the love, admiration, or respect you once had, Doug's A Man's Guide on How to Save Your Marriage Without Talking About It provides an action-focused place to begin: Prefer to watch instead of listen? Watch the full episode on YouTube: https://youtu.be/-eOBEf1q0KA The Powerful Man helps businessmen become stronger husbands, fathers, and leaders through practical relationship skills, self-leadership, coaching, and a brotherhood focused on building stronger marriages and families.

Episode #1206 What happens when every disagreement with your wife turns into defending yourself, explaining your intentions, or reacting emotionally? And what do you do when she shuts down after an argument or tells you she needs space? In this revisit episode of The TPM Show, Doug Holt and Christopher Hansen return to three listener questions about emotional safety, conflict, stonewalling, and what a husband can do when his wife seems to be pulling away. Doug starts by breaking down DEER mode: Defend, Explain, Excuse, React. When a man automatically falls into this pattern, a disagreement can quickly escalate. Instead, Doug discusses becoming more grounded, recognizing what TPM calls safety tests, and learning to respond without allowing every complaint to control your emotional state. They also discuss what happens after a fight when your wife shuts down and refuses to talk. Rather than chasing her or leaving the conflict unresolved indefinitely, Doug explains how to take responsibility for your side, communicate what you actually want for the relationship, and close the loop by agreeing on when you'll reconnect. Finally, they tackle one of the most concerning things a husband can hear: "I need space to find myself." Doug explains why giving her space and fighting for the marriage don't necessarily have to be opposites. The key is understanding what "space" actually means while also taking action on yourself. Episode Chapters 00:00 Why emotional safety changes how your wife responds 00:42 Listener Q&A on marriage and relationships 00:58 How to stop falling into DEER mode during arguments 01:28 DEER versus WOLF 02:00 Emotional safety and relationship safety tests 04:31 How your response can change the relationship 06:20 Why safety tests don't simply disappear 07:00 Staying grounded instead of reacting 08:30 Why certain comments trigger you 10:22 Why healthy relationships still have conflict 10:43 Cleaning up your mistakes quickly 11:30 What to do when your wife stonewalls after a fight 12:07 Taking ownership without becoming needy 12:49 Helping your wife feel like you're on the same team 15:00 How to close the loop after an argument 16:44 Free Book 17:36 What does "I need space" really mean? 17:55 Give her space or fight for the marriage? 19:00 Defining what space actually looks like 21:10 When your wife's request for space becomes a call to action 21:43 "I love you, but I'm not in love with this version of you" 22:30 Why men delay taking action 24:12 How fear keeps men stuck 25:41 Admitting when you're scared 27:49 Why you deserve more than an average marriage 29:29 Taking action and submitting questions to TPM If your marriage is struggling and you've lost some of the love, admiration, or respect you once had, Doug's A Man's Guide on How to Save Your Marriage Without Talking About It gives you an action-focused place to start: Prefer to watch instead of listen? Watch this revisit episode on YouTube: https://youtu.be/xQ7ETaNe3Lw The Powerful Man helps businessmen become stronger husbands, fathers, and leaders through practical coaching, self-leadership, brotherhood, and relationship tools designed to create stronger marriages and families. emotional safety in marriage, wife needs space, wife stonewalling husband, DEER mode, marriage conflict, how to stop being defensive with your wife, relationship safety tests, wife says she needs space, rebuilding connection with your wife, marriage advice for men

Episode #1205 What would you do differently if you knew today was your last day alive? Would you spend more time working, scrolling your phone, or worrying about what other people think? Or would you put the distractions aside, spend time with the people you love, say what needs to be said, and become fully present? In this episode of The TPM Show, Tim Matthews sits down with Stephen to explore how creating an intentional sense of urgency can change the way you approach your marriage, family, business, and life. They discuss why people often wait for urgency to be imposed on them. Divorce papers arrive. A health problem appears. A business reaches a crisis point. Suddenly, the things that have been avoided for months or years need attention immediately. But what if you didn't wait for the crisis? Tim and Stephen explore the idea of asking, "What if I only had 24 hours?" as a way to cut through procrastination, distraction, fear, and the stories that prevent you from taking meaningful action. For a man struggling in his marriage, that could mean asking a more specific question: What if I had 24 hours to save my marriage? The point isn't to frantically do everything. It's to identify what actually matters and show up with greater presence, honesty, gratitude, appreciation, love, and action. Episode Chapters 00:00 What would you do if today was your last day? 00:39 Living with greater urgency and intention 01:15 What actually matters on your final day? 02:09 Presence, family, and putting away distractions 03:06 Why connection becomes more important when time is limited 04:11 Creating urgency around what matters 04:30 Scales Free Training 05:33 Stop assuming there will always be another day 06:03 Looking for connection in the wrong places 06:35 How urgency brings your priorities into focus 07:17 Vulnerability when you have nothing to lose 08:05 Letting go of the stories holding you back 09:10 How having more time can create complacency 10:27 Stop sweating the small stuff 11:06 What meaningful family connection actually looks like 12:21 Bringing the last-24-hours mindset into everyday life 13:13 Choosing connection over rigid routines 14:48 Don't wait for divorce papers to create urgency 15:26 Imposing urgency on yourself before a crisis does 17:23 Performing when your back is against the wall 18:38 Using urgency to take massive action 19:38 Stop searching for connection through distractions 21:16 Compressing time through action 24:04 Using urgency to overcome procrastination 25:30 Challenging the stories that keep you stuck 26:41 What if you had 24 hours to save your marriage? 27:19 Leave it all on the field 28:27 Making the most of the life you have now If your relationship is missing the love, respect, admiration, or intimacy it once had, the Scales Free Training can help you identify what's missing and understand practical steps for rebuilding it. Prefer to watch instead of listen? Watch the full episode on YouTube: https://youtu.be/17TkeuSvsj8 The Powerful Man helps businessmen become stronger husbands, fathers, and leaders by developing the self-leadership, relationship skills, and brotherhood needed to build stronger marriages and more meaningful lives.

Episode #1204 Successful businessmen are used to making decisions, solving problems, and staying in control. But what happens when that same approach enters family court? In this episode of The TPM Show, Doug Holt sits down with family law attorney April Jones to discuss why CEOs, founders, and high-performing men can struggle when divorce moves from the boardroom into the courtroom. April brings more than 35 years of legal experience to the conversation. She is the founder and CEO of Jones Law Firm, which she built in 2000, and her firm has handled thousands of complex family law and divorce cases. She is a multi-year Super Lawyers honoree, was named an Outstanding Woman in Business by the Denver Business Journal, and serves in leadership roles connected to judicial selection in Colorado. Doug and April discuss why the financial settlement is only one part of divorce. There is also the emotional impact, disruption to business performance, parenting time, and the reality that another person may eventually become part of your children's lives. April explains why getting legal information early doesn't necessarily mean you've decided to divorce. Understanding what divorce could actually look like may help someone make better decisions while reconciliation is still possible. They also address one of the biggest mistakes business owners can make: trying to hide or move assets. April explains how this can increase litigation costs, damage trust, and create additional problems in court. The conversation ultimately returns to something men can control even before divorce becomes inevitable: changing how they show up in their marriage. Episode Chapters 00:00 Why successful businessmen can struggle in family court 00:37 From the boardroom to the courtroom 01:00 April Jones' family law experience and credentials 03:21 Why CEOs can struggle with losing control 05:38 When charm and persuasion stop working 08:16 The hidden costs of divorce 09:13 Parenting, business, and the emotional cost of separation 11:06 How men sedate themselves during divorce 12:20 When should you speak with a family lawyer? 14:30 Why hiding assets can backfire 15:13 Free Book 16:06 The financial and emotional cost of moving money 17:01 Why successful men need expert guidance 19:00 Infidelity, intimacy, and warning signs in marriage 21:08 Resentment and sexless marriages 22:33 What happens during a family law intake 24:01 Privacy and revealing difficult information 24:38 Why your attorney needs to know the skeletons 26:51 Preparing strategically for difficult issues 27:37 Divorce, workaholism, and losing connection with your children 31:19 Gray divorce later in life 32:21 How changing your behavior changes the relationship 34:01 Self-leadership when your marriage is on the edge If your marriage is struggling and you've lost some of the love, admiration, or respect you once had, Doug offers A Man's Guide on How to Save Your Marriage Without Talking About It as a practical action plan. Prefer to watch instead of listen? Watch the full conversation on YouTube: https://youtu.be/DrbubtX3yTI The Powerful Man helps businessmen become stronger husbands, fathers, and leaders through practical coaching, brotherhood, self-leadership, and relationship tools designed to build stronger marriages and families.