Olga Khazan on The Science and Promise of Personality Change | EP 667

Most of us spend much of our lives trying to fit in, smoothing our edges, editing our quirks, and becoming who the world wants us to be. But fitting in isn’t the same as belonging.Belonging is about coming home to yourself and then building spaces where others can do the same. It’s about creating deep connection and living a life that feels both meaningful and aligned.In episode 669 of Passion Struck, John tackles the question of how to build belonging using a simple, yet powerful framework he developed called BELONG — six choices that help you reclaim your identity, stop performing for approval, and create a life of purpose.Full shownotes HEREGo Deeper: The Ignited Life SubstackIf this episode stirred something in you, The Ignited Life is where the transformation continues. Each week, John shares behind-the-scenes insights, deeper dives into the episodes, workbooks, science-backed tools, and personal reflections to help you turn intention into action.Get the full companion workbook at TheIgnitedLife.netFull episode on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@JohnRMilesListen on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcastsEveryone deserves to feel valued and important. Show it by wearing it: https://startmattering.com/See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

In this episode of Passion Struck, I sit down with Robert Glazer — serial entrepreneur, five-time best-selling author, and founder of Acceleration Partners — to explore his powerful new book The Compass Within. Robert shares why success can still feel empty if your life is out of alignment, and how identifying your actionable core values becomes the starting point for lasting fulfillment.Whether you’re at a crossroads in your career, questioning the culture you’re part of, or simply longing for greater purpose, this conversation will give you a practical blueprint for finding your “compass within” and living by it with courage.Visit this link for the full show notesGo Deeper: The Ignited Life SubstackIf this episode stirred something in you, The Ignited Life is where the transformation continues. Each week, I share behind-the-scenes insights, science-backed tools, and personal reflections to help you turn intention into action.Subscribe🔗  and get the companion resources delivered straight to your inbox.Catch more of Robert Glazer: https://robertglazer.com/If you liked the show, please leave us a review—it only takes a moment and helps us reach more people! Don’t forget to include your Twitter or Instagram handle so we can thank you personally.Get the full companion workbook at TheIgnitedLife.netFull episode on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@JohnRMilesListen on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcastsEveryone deserves to feel valued and important. Show it by wearing it: https://startmattering.com/See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

In this episode of Passion Struck, John R. Miles is joined by Olga Khazan, staff writer at The Atlantic and author of Me, But Better, for a transformative conversation about the science and promise of personality change.For much of the 20th century, psychologists assumed that our personalities were largely fixed by adulthood — that who we are at 30 is who we’ll be for life. But Olga’s work brings together groundbreaking research proving that personality traits can, in fact, be intentionally shaped.If you’ve ever wondered, “Can I really change who I am?” this episode is your evidence-based invitation to try.Visit this link for the full show notesGo Deeper: The Ignited Life SubstackIf this episode stirred something in you, The Ignited Life is where the transformation continues. Each week, I share behind-the-scenes insights, science-backed tools, and personal reflections to help you turn intention into action.Subscribe🔗  and get the companion resources delivered straight to your inbox.Catch more of Olga Khazan: https://www.theatlantic.com/author/olga-khazan/If you liked the show, please leave us a review—it only takes a moment and helps us reach more people! Don’t forget to include your Twitter or Instagram handle so we can thank you personally.Get the full companion workbook at TheIgnitedLife.netFull episode on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@JohnRMilesListen on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcastsEveryone deserves to feel valued and important. Show it by wearing it: https://startmattering.com/See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

What if legacy isn’t what you leave behind, but what you build every day? In this solo episode, John R. Miles shares how to build a personal legacy using the C.H.O.I.C.E. framework: six daily principles that turn values into action and intention into impact. Discover why your quiet choices matter more than loud success and how to lead a life that lasts.Visit the Link for the Full Show Notes.Drawing on personal stories, expert interviews, and real-world insights, John explores the science behind why work is quietly making us sick—and invites listeners to realign with what their body and mind truly need.Go Deeper: The Ignited Life SubstackIf this episode stirred something in you, The Ignited Life is where the transformation continues. Each week, I share behind-the-scenes insights, deeper dives into the episodes, workbooks, science-backed tools, and personal reflections to help you turn intention into action.Get the full companion workbook at TheIgnitedLife.netFull episode on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@JohnRMilesListen on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcastsEveryone deserves to feel valued and important. Show it by wearing it: https://startmattering.com/See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

In this insightful episode of Passion Struck, John R. Miles sits down with psychologist and author William von Hippel to unpack the central theme of his latest book, The Social Paradox: Autonomy, Connection, and Why We Need Both to Find Happiness. Together, they explore how modern life has tilted heavily toward autonomy—careers, smartphones, and endless options—often at the expense of deep connection and belonging.Drawing on research with the Hadza hunter-gatherers of Tanzania, von Hippel explains why our ancestors’ lives, though materially sparse, were rich in connection and happiness—and why our overemphasis on independence leaves many feeling lonely and invisible.Visit this link for the full show notesGo Deeper: The Ignited Life SubstackIf this episode stirred something in you, The Ignited Life is where the transformation continues. Each week, I share behind-the-scenes insights, science-backed tools, and personal reflections to help you turn intention into action.Subscribe🔗  and get the companion resources delivered straight to your inbox.Catch more of William von Hippel:If you liked the show, please leave us a review—it only takes a moment and helps us reach more people! Don’t forget to include your Twitter or Instagram handle so we can thank you personally.Get the full companion workbook at TheIgnitedLife.netFull episode on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@JohnRMilesListen on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcastsEveryone deserves to feel valued and important. Show it by wearing it: https://startmattering.com/See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

In this Passion Struck episode, John R. Miles sits down with Cheryl McKissack Daniel, President and CEO of McKissack & McKissack—the nation’s oldest minority-owned design and construction firm—to explore what it takes to build a life and legacy that truly matter. From the story of her ancestor, Moses McKissack, who learned the art of brickmaking while enslaved, to her role in leading billion-dollar infrastructure projects today, Cheryl offers a blueprint for creating an impact that outlives us.Together, they discuss the five core values that guided her family through generations—perseverance, preparedness, persistence, purpose, and prayer—and how these principles can help all of us leave something meaningful behind. This conversation is a powerful reminder that legacy isn’t reserved for the privileged—it’s built choice by choice, one intentional decision at a time.Visit this link for the full show notesGo Deeper: The Ignited Life SubstackIf this episode stirred something in you, The Ignited Life is where the transformation continues. Each week, I share behind-the-scenes insights, science-backed tools, and personal reflections to help you turn intention into action.Subscribe🔗  and get the companion resources delivered straight to your inbox.Catch more of Cheryl McKissack: https://mckissack.com/about/leadership/If you liked the show, please leave us a review—it only takes a moment and helps us reach more people! Don’t forget to include your Twitter or Instagram handle so we can thank you personally.Get the full companion workbook at TheIgnitedLife.netFull episode on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@JohnRMilesListen on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcastsEveryone deserves to feel valued and important. Show it by wearing it: https://startmattering.com/See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Not all trauma is visible—but that doesn’t mean it stops shaping us. In this episode, John R. Miles explores the concept of invisible trauma and introduces H.E.A.L., a four-part framework for confronting what’s hidden, softening self-judgment, identifying destructive patterns, and stepping into liberation. You’ll hear powerful insights from experts like Dr. Ingrid Clayton and Dr. Nicole Cain and walk away with practical tools to begin transforming emotional scar tissue into inner strength.Visit the Link for the Full Show Notes.Drawing on personal stories, expert interviews, and real-world insights, John explores the science behind why work is quietly making us sick—and invites listeners to realign with what their body and mind truly need.Go Deeper: The Ignited Life SubstackIf this episode stirred something in you, The Ignited Life is where the transformation continues. Each week, I share behind-the-scenes insights, deeper dives into the episodes, workbooks, science-backed tools, and personal reflections to help you turn intention into action.Get the full companion workbook at TheIgnitedLife.netFull episode on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@JohnRMilesListen on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcastsEveryone deserves to feel valued and important. Show it by wearing it: https://startmattering.com/See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

In this episode, Dr. Nicole Cain—naturopathic doctor, clinical psychologist, and author of Panic Proof—shows how to design a personalized Panic-Proof plan that addresses anxiety at its source. We unpack the nine anxiety types and why labeling everything as “panic” misses the root drivers.She lays out a practical blueprint: nervous-system regulation (breath, cold exposure, somatic mapping, paced recovery), gut–brain repair (nutrition, psychobiotics, inflammation reduction), targeted lifestyle shifts (sleep, light, movement), and trauma-informed tools (values-based exposures, parts work, micro-habits).You’ll learn how to sequence change over 90 days, match interventions to your anxiety type, and measure progress without perfectionism. Whether you’re navigating panic attacks or low-grade dread, this conversation offers a clear, compassionate path from symptom management to lasting nervous-system safety—and a plan you can actually follow.Visit this link for the full show notesGo Deeper: The Ignited Life SubstackIf this episode stirred something in you, The Ignited Life is where the transformation continues. Each week, I share behind-the-scenes insights, science-backed tools, and personal reflections to help you turn intention into action.Subscribe🔗  and get the companion resources delivered straight to your inbox.Catch more of Dr. Nicole Cain: https://drnicolecain.com/If you liked the show, please leave us a review—it only takes a moment and helps us reach more people! Don’t forget to include your Twitter or Instagram handle so we can thank you personally.Get the full companion workbook at TheIgnitedLife.netFull episode on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@JohnRMilesListen on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcastsEveryone deserves to feel valued and important. Show it by wearing it: https://startmattering.com/See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

In episode 661 of Passion Struck, trauma psychologist Dr. Ingrid Clayton explains why so many high-achievers, caregivers, and leaders default to “keep the peace at any cost,” and how that pattern quietly erodes identity, boundaries, and well-being.We unpack how complex/relational trauma encodes “safety over self,” why talk-only approaches often stall, and the practical sequence for unfawning: notice → name → normalize → lower the bar → practice tiny boundary reps. Ingrid shares bottom-up tools for down-shifting physiological threat (breath, orienting, somatic tracking), scripts for gentler boundaries that don’t spike panic, and ways to rebuild self-trust after years of self-abandonment—at home, at work, and in leadership.If you’ve ever over-functioned at the office, shape-shifted in relationships, or felt invisible while doing “everything right,” this conversation gives you language for what’s been happening and a roadmap out of it.Visit this link for the full show notesGo Deeper: The Ignited Life SubstackIf this episode stirred something in you, The Ignited Life is where the transformation continues. Each week, I share behind-the-scenes insights, science-backed tools, and personal reflections to help you turn intention into action.Subscribe🔗  and get the companion resources delivered straight to your inbox.About Dr. Ingrid ClaytonIngrid Clayton, PhD, is a clinical psychologist and author whose work focuses on trauma, complex PTSD, and recovery. Her new book, Fawning: Why the Need to Please Makes Us Lose Ourselves—and How to Find Our Way Back, offers a step-by-step approach to healing the appease response and reclaiming your voice.Catch more of Dr. Ingrid Clayton: https://www.ingridclayton.com/If you liked the show, please leave us a review—it only takes a moment and helps us reach more people! Don’t forget to include your Twitter or Instagram handle so we can thank you personally.Get the full companion workbook at TheIgnitedLife.netFull episode on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@JohnRMilesListen on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcastsEveryone deserves to feel valued and important. Show it by wearing it: https://startmattering.com/See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

In the debut of the Decoding Humanity series, John R. Miles explores what he calls The Living Code: the deeper foundation beneath our lives that determines whether we stand strong or collapse when the inevitable storms come. Drawing on timeless wisdom from the Gospel of Matthew, insights from neuroscience, and reflections from recent guests Dr. Bruce Miller, Dr. Virginia Sturm, and Dr. Caroline Fleck, John reveals the four pillars of C.O.D.E. — Core Values, Open Empathy, Deep Rest, and Embodied Practices.This episode challenges listeners to run a “system check,” confront where their foundations may be built on sand, and take practical steps toward recoding their humanity.Visit the Link for the Full Show Notes.Drawing on personal stories, expert interviews, and real-world insights, John explores the science behind why work is quietly making us sick—and invites listeners to realign with what their body and mind truly need.Go Deeper: The Ignited Life SubstackIf this episode stirred something in you, The Ignited Life is where the transformation continues. Each week, I share behind-the-scenes insights, deeper dives into the episodes, workbooks, science-backed tools, and personal reflections to help you turn intention into action.Get the full companion workbook at TheIgnitedLife.netFull episode on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@JohnRMilesListen on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcastsEveryone deserves to feel valued and important. Show it by wearing it: https://startmattering.com/See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.