Parashat Nitzavim, September 23rd

This week's "Fun Size" parshah provides a fascinating insight into Bronze Age cardiology."If you seek eternal bliss / come to this aortic bris."-MosheProduced by Mishkan Chicago.  Music composed, produced, and performed by Kalman Strauss. See our upcoming Shabbat services and programs here, and follow us on Instagram and like us on Facebook for more updates. Check out Shabbat Replay on Contact Chai for more from Rabbi Deena.Transcript

“If much of Deuteronomy is a prophetic vision or dream, the tochachah is the nightmare.”-Metallica"Exit light! Enter night! Take my hand — we're off to Never Never Land."-Rabbi Lord Jonathan Sacks[note: check to see if quote attribution is correct before publishing]Please email [email protected] with any corrections to this week's episode description.Produced by Mishkan Chicago.  Music composed, produced, and performed by Kalman Strauss. See our upcoming Shabbat services and programs here, and follow us on Instagram and like us on Facebook for more updates. Check out Shabbat Replay on Contact Chai for more from Rabbi Deena.Transcript

What's the deal with stoning your sons? Anybody ever stone their son in front of a live audience? Nobody? Gee, tough crowd.Produced by Mishkan Chicago.  Music composed, produced, and performed by Kalman Strauss. See our upcoming Shabbat services and programs here, and follow us on Instagram and like us on Facebook for more updates. Check out Shabbat Replay on Contact Chai for more from Rabbi Deena.Transcript

"Justice, justice, you shall pursue."What could those cryptic words mean? To find out, Rabbi Deena goes straight to the source: the most boring man no longer alive.Produced by Mishkan Chicago.  Music composed, produced, and performed by Kalman Strauss. See our upcoming Shabbat services and programs here, and follow us on Instagram and like us on Facebook for more updates. Check out Shabbat Replay on Contact Chai for more from Rabbi Deena.Transcript

"...Anyone who says they are a prophet with further instructions from God is to be treated as a liar and put to death, no matter how many tricks they perform." Magicians — you're on notice. Produced by Mishkan Chicago.  Music composed, produced, and performed by Kalman Strauss. See our upcoming Shabbat services and programs here, and follow us on Instagram and like us on Facebook for more updates. Check out Shabbat Replay on Contact Chai for more from Rabbi Deena.Transcript

Life is like a box of chocolates — you know exactly what you're going to get, because the packaging is well labeled and each chocolate looks slightly distinct, so you can tell the tasty ones from the ones filled with, like, raisin nougat. What I'm trying to say is that you've been a good little kid, and as a reward, you're going to get the very best chocolates in this box, because G_d says that life should be fairBut is it?Produced by Mishkan Chicago.  Music composed, produced, and performed by Kalman Strauss. See our upcoming Shabbat services and programs here, and follow us on Instagram and like us on Facebook for more updates. Check out Shabbat Replay on Contact Chai for more from Rabbi Deena.Transcript

Listen up, G_d-Wrestlers! The Lord Our G_d is one, and the Lord Our G_d is having none of Moshe's nonsense today.Produced by Mishkan Chicago.  Music composed, produced, and performed by Kalman Strauss. See our upcoming Shabbat services and programs here, and follow us on Instagram and like us on Facebook for more updates. Check out Shabbat Replay on Contact Chai for more from Rabbi Deena.Transcript

"...Numerous as the stars in the sky"Before reciting the Torah, Moshe echoes G_d's promise to Abraham. But wait, isn't this moment in the Torah, too? Did he recite his own recitation? Or is Moshe only repeating something he wrote down the other day? Or is someone else years later who wrote about Abraham repeating the same line for Moshe? Does it matter? Does anything matter?! Produced by Mishkan Chicago.  Music composed, produced, and performed by Kalman Strauss. See our upcoming Shabbat services and programs here, and follow us on Instagram and like us on Facebook for more updates. Check out Shabbat Replay on Contact Chai for more from Rabbi Deena.Transcript

This week's parsha was hard to read. And judging by some telling word choice in the Hebrew text, it was hard to write, too.Produced by Mishkan Chicago.  Music composed, produced, and performed by Kalman Strauss. See our upcoming Shabbat services and programs here, and follow us on Instagram and like us on Facebook for more updates. Check out Shabbat Replay on Contact Chai for more from Rabbi Deena.Transcript

Say what you will about his methods, but Pinchas makes a mean kebab. Also, Moshe takes a peek from a peak, and the people demand yet another census.Produced by Mishkan Chicago.  Music composed, produced, and performed by Kalman Strauss. See our upcoming Shabbat services and programs here, and follow us on Instagram and like us on Facebook for more updates. Check out Shabbat Replay on Contact Chai for more from Rabbi Deena.Transcript