EP 129: Stop Waiting for God to “Get Them Back”: Forgiveness, Mercy & Vindication

This week on the show Jay, Jordan, Nicole and I talk through the difference between vengeance and vindication, what Scripture says about loving our enemies, and how remembering the mercy we’ve received through Christ changes the way we respond to offense.One question really challenged me: What if our vindication actually looks like having peace, sleeping at night, and continuing in what God has called us to do? We discuss how unforgiveness can hide behind time and distance. Just because you’ve stopped speaking to someone doesn’t mean you’ve released what happened. Forgiveness can take prayer, wrestling, and surrender, and forgiving someone doesn’t require staying in a harmful relationship.If you’re struggling with betrayal, bitterness, a broken friendship, or the need to prove you were right, I pray this conversation helps you bring that hurt honestly before the Lord.Before you move on with your day, pause and ask Him: “Lord, is there anyone I haven’t truly forgiven? Search my heart and help me surrender what I’m still holding.”See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Deconstructing Christianity isn’t always the same as walking away from God. Sometimes it could mean examining legalism, controlling traditions, or inherited beliefs so we can understand what Scripture actually teaches.But what happens when we stop deconstructing false teaching and begin deconstructing the truth itself, rebuilding faith around our comfort, desires, or the opinions of people we admire online?This week, I'm back with the team to talk about faith deconstruction, and the responsibility that comes with Christian Influence. Together, we discuss testing every voice against God’s Word, the consequence that comes with identifying, publicly, as a Christian, and why platform size does not determine whether you have influence. The question is: Are our words pointing others toward Christ or giving them permission to compromise?If you’re navigating doubt, or, stewarding a platform of your own, this episode is for you!See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

What happens when a pastor, mentor, or Christian leader you admire falls, and your trust is shaken with them?This week on In Totality, I’m joined by Christian apologist, author, and founder of the Jude 3 Project, Lisa Fields. Tune in for a conversation about healing after the people we admire disappoint us, without losing our faith, ignoring the harm done, or abandoning accountability.Lisa opens up about the personal heartbreak behind her new book, When Heroes Fall: Healing from the Aftermath of Sin. Together, we talk about church hurt, broken trust, grief, and the difference between admiring someone and placing them where only God belongs.If you’re processing disappointment with a Christian leader, navigating spiritual disillusionment, or grieving the fall of someone who helped shape your faith, this episode is for you.My prayer is that this conversation gives you language for your grief, courage to examine your own heart, and hope to heal in godly community.People may fail us, but Jesus never will. With His help, the hurt we experienced does not have to become harm we pass on to others.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Hey Guys! This week on In Totality, I’m back with Jay, Jordan, and Nicole in my new home, reflecting on God’s faithfulness through a long season of prayer, waiting, closed doors, and unexpected provision.For nearly two years, I prayed about where my boys and I should live, where they should attend school, and what God’s next step was for our family. There were opportunities that fell through, moments when we came close, and times when I wondered whether I had discerned God’s will correctly. But while it felt like nothing was happening, God was preparing details, and people I couldn’t see.If you’re waiting for God to move in a relationship, job opportunity, health situation, a relocation decision, or any other unanswered prayer, this episode is for you.My prayer is that this conversation encourages you to stay close to the Lord, remain faithful with what He has already placed in your hands, and trust that He is working even when you cannot see it.God is always working!See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Ok family, I have a treat for all of us that I'm excited to share with you, and I mean ECSTATIC!This week on In Totality, I’m joined by bestselling author, Bible teacher, psychotherapist, a daughter, a wife, and a mother, and so much more, Dr. Sarita T. Lyons! And guess what!? She's here with her new book, Honor Thy Mother, that's just released TODAY as this episode airs!Many of us carry pain from complicated relationships with our mothers but don’t feel permission to name it, especially in the Church. Dr. Sarita helps to unpack the heart behind her new book, Honor Thy Mother: How to Grieve, Heal, and Make Peace with Your Mother Wounds, and remind us that sharing the truth about our pain is not the same as dishonor.Tune in for an honest, biblical conversation about healing mother wounds, honoring a parent even when it's difficult to do so, how to set healthy boundaries, and breaking generational cycles.If you’re grieving the mother you needed, navigating estrangement, afraid of repeating generational wounds with your own children, or learning how to honor a difficult parent, this episode is for you.My prayer is that this conversation helps you name what hurts, invite God into it, and take a faithful step toward grief, healing, freedom, and peace.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Hey Fam! In Totality is back this week and I'm here with the team for a conversation about forgiveness, anger, and the call of Romans 12: “Vengeance belongs to Me; I will repay.”Forgiveness sounds beautiful until the wound is fresh and the apology never comes. So, today, I open up about my struggle with wanting to defend myself, have the last word, or “get a lick back” when I feel wronged. We unpack what it looks like to trust God as our defender, lay the urge to retaliate on the altar, and surrender the outcome instead of waiting for God to “get them” on our behalf.We also talk through the difference between forgiveness and reconciliation, why forgiveness doesn’t mean ignoring abuse or automatically restoring access, and how hurt can turn into anger, defensiveness, or the urge to clap back. The team shares what it looks like to pause, pray, name the real wound, and invite the Holy Spirit into hard conversations.If you’re struggling to forgive someone who hurt you, waiting for an apology you may never receive, wrestling with bitterness, or trying to handle conflict in a way that honors Christ, this episode is for you.My prayer is that this conversation helps you release the need for revenge, overcome evil with good, and trust God with the offense and the outcome. You can acknowledge what was wrong and still choose grace. Let God be your defender.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This week, Jordan, Jay, and Nic join in for a conversation about spiritual warfare, repentance, and what it means to put on the full armor of God every day.After reflecting on the battles the Lord has carried us through, I realized that endurance is not passive. Sometimes we become so weary in our faithfulness that we stop fighting. Other times, we become so confident about the battles we’ve already survived that we stop guarding ourselves. Both can leave us spiritually vulnerable.We unpack 2 Samuel 11 and the moment David remained in Jerusalem when kings were expected to go to war. What began with being somewhere he was not supposed to be led to lust, sexual sin, deception, murder, and months of unrepentance. David’s story reminds us why we must remain engaged in the fight, confess quickly, and never assume that past victories make us immune to temptation.If you’re experiencing spiritual warfare, faithful fatigue, inconsistency, shame over sin, or weariness from fighting one battle after another, I pray this conversation encourages you. Seriousness does not mean joylessness, and devotion does not mean perfection. When you don’t feel strong enough to fight, be honest with the Lord and ask Him to help you want what He wants.Keep fighting. Look to Jesus, hold tightly to His promises, and remember that you do not have to fight in your own strength.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Hey Guys! After a little break last week, I’m back with the team for a conversation about building endurance in the Christian faith through daily obedience, patience, and spiritual growth.Sanctification is a process, and so is building endurance. Using a lesson I learned from “ego lifting” in Pilates, we talk about why God may be more interested in our faithful reps than the amount of weight we’re trying to carry. So many of us want the big moment, the visible calling, or the impressive testimony, but God often develops our character through the quiet monents each day.We talk about walking in step with the Holy Spirit without trying to rush ahead, remaining faithful when our growth feels invisible, and trusting that God is establishing roots beneath the surface.Through the lives of Abraham, Moses, and David, we’re reminded that their public moments of faith were preceded by years of private preparation and obedience.If you’re a new believer, discouraged by your pace, comparing your calling to someone else’s, or wondering whether you’re truly growing, I pray this episode encourages you. Baby steps are still steps. You don’t have to reach the finish line first; you just have to keep going, looking to Jesus as the founder and perfecter of your faith.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Hey guys! We're back this week with a fresh episode and Toni Collier is back on In Totality to share about season 2 of her Docuseries, Unshakeable Moxie!If you haven't seen season 1, it's a great time to catch up and tune into the series, co-hosted by Moriah Smallbobe, where these two women share the beauty of other women’s stories around the world, and how true hope is not just believing things will get better, but placing our hope fully in Jesus.You guys know whenever Toni is here we have a great time with great laughs. In this episode, we talk about holding on to joy in the middle of grief, what it looks like to keep showing up when life feels heavy, and how God comforts us through our suffering and never asks us to carry it alone. Toni shares what this season has taught her about hope, endurance, healing, and trusting God when the outcome is still unclear.I pray this episode reminds you that you do not have to be perfect to be faithful. Keep showing up. God is with you!See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Hey Guys! I'm so excited to share this conversation I had with Ace Harris on faith, creativity, sacrifice, and what it means to surrender everything to God.In this episode, Ace shares his journey from discovering music in the church, to working in the Christian music industry.And we touched on topics like the tension between art, commerce, and ministry, how beauty and creativity can point people back to God, and why our heart posture matters in everything we build.We also discuss Altar Aesthetics, Christian influence, success, discipline, and the cost of following Jesus when He asks for the very thing we love most.My prayer is that this episode encourages you to ask: is the Lord truly sitting on the throne of my heart, or have I placed something else there?Tune In Now!See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.