Charles Duhigg: Asking Questions That Build Instant Connection

Have you ever been in a conversation where no matter what you say, it’s clear—there’s no winning? Some people are committed to misunderstanding you. In today’s episode, I’m breaking down how to protect your peace, stand your ground, and keep your integrity when someone’s trying to make you the villain in their story. Whether it’s a bully, a manipulator, or someone you just can’t reason with, this episode will help you hold your standard and respond without losing yourself. This episode is sponsored by Cozy Earth. Upgrade Your Every Day. Get 40% off at cozyearth.com/jefferson or use code JEFFERSON at check out. Order my new book, The Next Conversation, or listen to the full audiobook today. Also, come meet me on my book tour!  Like what you hear? Don’t forget to subscribe and leave a 5-star review! Suggest a topic or ask a question for me to answer on the show!  Want a FREE communication tip each week? Click here to join my newsletter.  Join My School of Communication Watch my podcast on YouTube  Follow me on Instagram  Follow me on TikTok Follow me on LinkedIn Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Let’s talk about nerves. I say this all the time—it is totally normal to feel nervous before a conversation. In fact, it's a good thing. It means you care. But what you do with that nervousness can completely change how the conversation goes. In this episode, I’m sharing three techniques I use myself and teach often—especially when people ask me how to stay calm, confident, and connected when it matters most. Whether you’ve got a big conversation coming up or just want to communicate with more ease, this one’s for you. This episode is sponsored by Cozy Earth. Upgrade Your Every Day. Get 40% off at cozyearth.com/jefferson or use code JEFFERSON at check out. Order my new book, The Next Conversation, or listen to the full audiobook today. Also, come meet me on my book tour!  Like what you hear? Don’t forget to subscribe and leave a 5-star review! Suggest a topic or ask a question for me to answer on the show!  Want a FREE communication tip each week? Click here to join my newsletter.  Join My School of Communication Watch my podcast on YouTube  Follow me on Instagram  Follow me on TikTok Follow me on LinkedIn Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

You are not a target. Not a punching bag. Not the release valve for someone else’s frustration. In the middle of the book tour whirlwind, I’m reflecting on a powerful review someone left for The Next Conversation and diving into the first and most foundational rule of the book: say it with control. I’ll walk you through a mindset shift that’s helped thousands of people—not just to win arguments, but to protect their peace. We talk about regulating our fight-or-flight response, how to use your breath as a pause button, and why you are never required to absorb someone else’s emotional baggage. This episode is sponsored by Cozy Earth. Upgrade Your Every Day. Get 40% off at cozyearth.com/jefferson or use code JEFFERSON at check out. Order my new book, The Next Conversation, or listen to the full audiobook today. Also, come meet me on my book tour!  Like what you hear? Don’t forget to subscribe and leave a 5-star review! Suggest a topic or ask a question for me to answer on the show!  Want a FREE communication tip each week? Click here to join my newsletter.  Join My School of Communication Watch my podcast on YouTube  Follow me on Instagram  Follow me on TikTok Follow me on LinkedIn Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Ever feel like you’re talking but not really connecting? Or maybe you’re in a conversation, and you know the other person is just waiting for their turn to talk? Well, today’s episode is about to change that. I’m sitting down with Charles Duhigg, Pulitzer Prize-winning journalist and author of Supercommunicators, to talk about what the best communicators do differently. And here’s the kicker: it’s not about being the most persuasive—it’s about knowing how to ask the right questions. Like what you hear? Don’t forget to subscribe and leave a 5-star review! Order my new book, The Next Conversation, or listen to the full audiobook today. Meet me on my book tour! Suggest a topic or ask a question for me to answer on the show!  Want a FREE communication tip each week? Click here to join my newsletter.  Join My School of Communication Watch my podcast on YouTube  Follow me on Instagram  Follow me on TikTok Follow me on LinkedIn Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Alright, let’s do something different today. This is a special bonus episode where you get to hear Chapter 1 of my new book, The Next Conversation. In this first chapter, we’re setting the stage. You’ll get a feel for what’s inside the book, and if it clicks with you, you’re going to love the full audiobook. I recorded it myself, so it’s like we’re sitting down together, walking through these conversations step by step. Take a listen, and if you're ready for more, order my new book, The Next Conversation, or listen to the full audiobook today. Also, come meet me on my book tour!  Audio excerpted courtesy of Penguin Random House Audio from THE NEXT CONVERSATION by Jefferson Fisher, read by Jefferson Fisher. © 2025 Jefferson Fisher, ℗ 2025 Penguin Random House, LLC. All rights reserved. Like what you hear? Don’t forget to subscribe and leave a 5-star review! Suggest a topic or ask a question for me to answer on the show!  Want a FREE communication tip each week? Click here to join my newsletter.  Join My School of Communication Watch my podcast on YouTube  Follow me on Instagram  Follow me on TikTok Follow me on LinkedIn Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today is a big day, y’all. It’s book launch day. The Next Conversation: Argue Less, Talk More is officially out in the world, and I could not be more excited (or honestly, more emotional) about it. If you’ve ever gotten something valuable from my content—if even one thing has stuck with you—I'm asking you to grab a copy of this book. Because this isn’t just a book. It’s an investment in your next conversation. And if there’s one thing I know for sure, it’s that the way we show up in conversations shapes everything—our relationships, our confidence, our success. Order my book. The Next Conversation: Argue Less, Talk More This episode is sponsored by Cozy Earth. Upgrade Your Every Day. Get 40% off at cozyearth.com/jefferson or use code JEFFERSON at check out. Buy The Next Conversation on Audiobook   Come meet me on my book tour! Like what you hear? Subscribe and leave a 5-star review! Suggest a topic or ask a question for me to answer on the show!  Want a FREE communication tip each week? Join my newsletter. Join My School of Communication Watch my podcast on YouTube  Follow me on Instagram  Follow me on TikTok Follow me on LinkedIn Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Ever walked into a conversation and felt like you were on the losing end before it even started? Whether it’s a tough negotiation, a disagreement at home, or just trying to get someone to see your side, there’s a right and wrong way to do it—and Chris Voss is the guy to teach it. I’ve been a fan of Chris’s work for a long time, and getting to sit down with him was a masterclass in negotiation, tactical empathy, and human connection. Chris is a former FBI hostage negotiator, the author of Never Split the Difference, and the CEO of The Black Swan Group. His negotiation tactics aren’t just for high-stakes situations—they work everywhere. And in this episode, he breaks it all down for us. Buy Chris’s book, Never Split the Difference: Negotiating As If Your Life Depended On It This episode is sponsored by Cozy Earth. Upgrade Your Every Day. Get 40% off at cozyearth.com/jefferson or use code JEFFERSON at check out. Listeners will get an additional 5% off for orders placed March 14-16 in celebration of World Sleep Week using my code JEFFERSON. Relationships come with questions, therapy comes with answers. Find them with my sponsor BetterHelp. Click https://betterhelp.com/jeffersonfisher for a discount on your first month of therapy. Like what you hear? Don’t forget to subscribe and leave a 5-star review! Order my new book, The Next Conversation, today!  Suggest a topic or ask a question for me to answer on the show!  Want a FREE communication tip each week? Click here to join my newsletter.  Join My School of Communication Watch my podcast on YouTube  Follow me on Instagram  Follow me on TikTok Follow me on LinkedIn Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Ever find yourself stuck in your own head, overthinking a conversation, or worrying about how someone will react? This episode is for you. Today I sit down with the legendary Mel Robbins – NYT #1 bestselling author, speaker, and the force behind The Let Them Theory. She breaks down the power of self-communication, why the way you talk to yourself shapes your confidence, and how to stop wasting energy on things you can’t control. Dive deeper into The Let Them Theory, and buy the book today at https://www.melrobbins.com/letthemtheory  This episode is sponsored by Cozy Earth. Upgrade Your Every Day. Get 40% off at cozyearth.com/jefferson or use code JEFFERSON at check out. Relationships come with questions, therapy comes with answers. Find them with my sponsor BetterHelp. Click https://betterhelp.com/jeffersonfisher for a discount on your first month of therapy. Like what you hear? Don’t forget to subscribe and leave a 5-star review! Order my new book, The Next Conversation, today!  Suggest a topic or ask a question for me to answer on the show!  Want a FREE communication tip each week? Click here to join my newsletter.  Join My School of Communication Watch my podcast on YouTube  Follow me on Instagram  Follow me on TikTok Follow me on LinkedIn Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

How do you raise a good communicator? How do you teach kids to be kind but not a pushover? And what actually matters when it comes to parenting? In this episode, I’m sitting down with the two people who shaped my life the most—my parents. This is a personal one. But whether you're a parent, thinking about becoming one, or just curious about how childhood shapes the way we communicate, I think you’ll take something valuable away from this conversation. This episode is sponsored by Cozy Earth. Upgrade Your Every Day. Get 40% off at cozyearth.com/jefferson or use code JEFFERSON at check out. Like what you hear? Subscribe and leave a 5-star review! Order my book: The Next Conversation Suggest a topic or ask a question for me to answer on the show Want a FREE communication tip each week? Subscribe to my newsletter Join My School of Communication Watch my podcast on YouTube  Follow me on Instagram  Follow me on TikTok Follow me on LinkedIn Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

You’re in a conversation, and things get heated. You want to make your point—but so do they. Suddenly, it feels like a battle. And if you "win," what have you really won? In this episode, I’m sharing 3 truths that will change how you communicate—for good. These simple mindsets will help you stay grounded, connect more deeply, and navigate tough conversations with clarity and confidence. Plus, I’ll share why I’m stepping into a new studio for season 2 and what you can expect moving forward. This episode is sponsored by Cozy Earth. Upgrade Your Every Day. Get 40% off at cozyearth.com/jefferson or use code JEFFERSON at check out. Like what you hear? Subscribe and leave a 5-star review! Order My Book-- The Next Conversation Join My School of Communication Suggest a topic or ask a question for me to answer on the show!  Want a FREE communication tip each week? Click here to join my newsletter.  Watch my podcast on YouTube  Follow me on Instagram  Follow me on TikTok Follow me on LinkedIn Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices