Being Nice Won’t Save You in Difficult Conversations

In this episode, I’m breaking down the small language habits that secretly make hard conversations harder. Most of us think we’re being clear or kind — but the words we use often fuel defensiveness instead of understanding. I’ll show you how to stop using “you” statements that sound like blame, cut out weak disclaimers that undercut your point, and reframe your message so it lands with strength and respect. Thank you to our sponsors: Cozy Earth. Upgrade Your Every Day. Get 40% off at cozyearth.com/jefferson or use code JEFFERSON at check out. Pique. Head to https://PiqueLife.com/jefferson for 20% off. BetterHelp. Click https://betterhelp.com/jeffersonfisher for a discount on your first month of therapy. Order my new book, The Next Conversation, or listen to the full audiobook today. Like what you hear? Don’t forget to subscribe and leave a 5-star review! Suggest a topic or ask a question for me to answer on the show!  Want a FREE communication tip each week? Click here to join my newsletter.  Join My School of Communication Watch my podcast on YouTube  Follow me on Instagram  Follow me on TikTok Follow me on LinkedIn Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This one’s for the parents—or anyone raising little humans. I sit down with Dr. Becky Kennedy, clinical psychologist and bestselling author of Good Inside, to unpack what’s really behind kids’ “bad behavior.” We talk about the mindset shift every parent needs, the three words that can calm any meltdown, and how to hold firm boundaries without losing connection. If you’ve ever thought, “Why won’t my kid just listen?” — this conversation will change the way you see those moments forever. If you want to check out Good Inside, the platform Dr. Becky built, you can head to goodinside.com and use the code JEFFERSON15 for 15% off your first membership. That’s JEFFERSON15, https://www.goodinside.com/ — offer expires December 31st, 2025. Thank you to our sponsors: Cozy Earth. Upgrade Your Every Day. Get 40% off at cozyearth.com/jefferson or use code JEFFERSON at check out. Masa Chips. Get 25% off at https://www.masachips.com/pages/jefferson  Momentous. Visit https://www.livemomentous.com/ and use code JEFFERSON for 35% off your first order. BetterHelp. Click https://betterhelp.com/jeffersonfisher for a discount on your first month of therapy. Order my new book, The Next Conversation, or listen to the full audiobook today. Like what you hear? Don’t forget to subscribe and leave a 5-star review! Suggest a topic or ask a question for me to answer on the show!  Want a FREE communication tip each week? Click here to join my newsletter.  Join My School of Communication Watch my podcast on YouTube  Follow me on Instagram  Follow me on TikTok Follow me on LinkedIn Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Being nice won’t save you — especially in conflict. Too often, we think if we’re agreeable enough, people will treat us better or listen more. But that’s not how it works. In this episode, I talk about why “nice” people often get steamrolled in difficult conversations, the difference between being nice and being respectful, and how respectful firmness is actually the real power move. Thank you to our sponsors: Cozy Earth. Upgrade Your Every Day. Get 40% off at cozyearth.com/jefferson or use code JEFFERSON at check out. Monarch Money. 50% off your first year at https://monarchmoney.com/jefferson  BetterHelp. Click https://betterhelp.com/jeffersonfisher for a discount on your first month of therapy. Order my new book, The Next Conversation, or listen to the full audiobook today. Like what you hear? Don’t forget to subscribe and leave a 5-star review! Suggest a topic or ask a question for me to answer on the show!  Want a FREE communication tip each week? Click here to join my newsletter.  Join My School of Communication Watch my podcast on YouTube  Follow me on Instagram  Follow me on TikTok Follow me on LinkedIn Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Being told to “calm down” never actually makes you calmer. In this episode, I unpack what “calm” really means in conversation—and why it often backfires. Instead of aiming for a blank-slate calm, I’ll show you how to create a grounded connection—a way to stay present, regulate your emotions, and still lean into the conversation with honesty. And stick around until the end, because I’ll give you three powerful comebacks you can use the next time someone tells you to “calm down.” Thank you to our sponsors: Cozy Earth. Upgrade Your Every Day. Get 40% off at cozyearth.com/jefferson or use code JEFFERSON at check out. Fabric by Gerber Life: Apply in minutes at https://meetfabric.com/JEFFERSON BetterHelp. Click https://betterhelp.com/jeffersonfisher for a discount on your first month of therapy. Order my new book, The Next Conversation, or listen to the full audiobook today. Like what you hear? Don’t forget to subscribe and leave a 5-star review! Suggest a topic or ask a question for me to answer on the show!  Want a FREE communication tip each week? Click here to join my newsletter.  Join My School of Communication Watch my podcast on YouTube  Follow me on Instagram  Follow me on TikTokFollow me on LinkedIn Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

A belittling comment is never about you—it’s about them. In this episode, I break down why people use belittling remarks as a grab for dominance, how to decode the real intent behind their words, and why it’s usually just a projection of their own insecurity. You’ll learn the exact questions to ask that shut down the power play, shift the spotlight back where it belongs, and keep you in control of the conversation. Thank you to our sponsors: Cozy Earth. Upgrade Your Every Day. Get 40% off at cozyearth.com/jefferson or use code JEFFERSON at check out. Masa Chips. Get 25% off at https://www.masachips.com/pages/jefferson  BetterHelp. Click https://betterhelp.com/jeffersonfisher for a discount on your first month of therapy. Order my new book, The Next Conversation, or listen to the full audiobook today. Like what you hear? Don’t forget to subscribe and leave a 5-star review! Suggest a topic or ask a question for me to answer on the show!  Want a FREE communication tip each week? Click here to join my newsletter.  Join My School of Communication Watch my podcast on YouTube  Follow me on Instagram  Follow me on TikTok Follow me on LinkedIn Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

I flew to Nashville, sat in Dr. John Delony’s studio, and we had the kind of friend-to-friend talk I wish everyone could hear. We got honest about anxiety—how I’ve felt it in my own body—and why our “imaginary fights” leave us overheated before a real conversation even starts. John shared the two moves that changed my playbook: bring calm (it spreads) and tell the truth (facts are kind). We dug into abandonment fears, childhood stuff that sneaks into marriage, and that gut-punch line: “You marry your unfinished business.” If you’ve ever felt anxious mid-conversation, or avoided a hard talk because you were scared of losing someone, this episode gives you practical steps to reset, reconnect, and talk like you actually want to be heard. Thank you to our sponsors: Cozy Earth. Upgrade Your Every Day. Get 40% off at cozyearth.com/jefferson or use code JEFFERSON at check out. Pique. Head to https://PiqueLife.com/jefferson for 20% off. Momentous. Visit https://www.livemomentous.com/ and use code JEFFERSON for 35% off your first order. BetterHelp. Click https://betterhelp.com/jeffersonfisher for a discount on your first month of therapy. Order my new book, The Next Conversation, or listen to the full audiobook today. Like what you hear? Don’t forget to subscribe and leave a 5-star review! Suggest a topic or ask a question for me to answer on the show!  Want a FREE communication tip each week? Click here to join my newsletter.  Join My School of Communication Watch my podcast on YouTube  Follow me on Instagram  Follow me on TikTok Follow me on LinkedIn Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

When someone gets emotional in conversation, it can be tough to know how to respond. In this episode, I share how to keep your cool without shutting them down or losing yourself in the moment. You’ll learn how to recognize your own physical reactions, ground yourself with simple reminders, and set healthy boundaries so you can stay steady—even when the other person isn’t. Thank you to our sponsors: Cozy Earth. Upgrade Your Every Day. Get 40% off at cozyearth.com/jefferson or use code JEFFERSON at check out. Monarch Money. 50% off your first year at https://monarchmoney.com/jefferson  BetterHelp. Click https://betterhelp.com/jeffersonfisher for a discount on your first month of therapy. Order my new book, The Next Conversation, or listen to the full audiobook today. Like what you hear? Don’t forget to subscribe and leave a 5-star review! Suggest a topic or ask a question for me to answer on the show!  Want a FREE communication tip each week? Click here to join my newsletter.  Join My School of Communication Watch my podcast on YouTube  Follow me on Instagram  Follow me on TikTokFollow me on LinkedIn Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

If you’ve ever felt like a conversation got away from you, you’re not alone—we all lose control sometimes. In this episode, I’m breaking down the three biggest mistakes that cause you to give up your power without even realizing it: overexplaining, reacting too quickly, and filling every silence. I’ll show you how each of these makes you predictable and weakens your message, and I’ll give you the tools to stay calm, confident, and in control no matter who you’re talking to. Thank you to our sponsors: Cozy Earth. Upgrade Your Every Day. Get 40% off at cozyearth.com/jefferson or use code JEFFERSON at check out. Masa Chips. Get 25% off at https://www.masachips.com/pages/jefferson  BetterHelp. Click https://betterhelp.com/jeffersonfisher for a discount on your first month of therapy. Order my new book, The Next Conversation, or listen to the full audiobook today. Like what you hear? Don’t forget to subscribe and leave a 5-star review! Suggest a topic or ask a question for me to answer on the show!  Want a FREE communication tip each week? Click here to join my newsletter.  Join My School of Communication Watch my podcast on YouTube  Follow me on Instagram  Follow me on TikTok Follow me on LinkedIn Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Ever find yourself in a conversation that feels more like a battle than a back-and-forth? In this episode, I’m sharing three simple tools I’ve picked up from the courtroom that’ll help you communicate with more confidence—especially when you’re dealing with people who don’t agree with you. We’re talking about how to swap out your “buts” for “ands,” how to stop wasting your energy on arguments that don’t matter, and how to slow things down so your words actually land. Thank you to our sponsors: Cozy Earth. Upgrade Your Every Day. Get 40% off at cozyearth.com/jefferson or use code JEFFERSON at check out. Pique. Head to PiqueLife.com/jefferson for 20% off. https://www.piquelife.com/pages/nandaka?rfsn=8750900.e68def&utm_source=affiliate&utm_campaign=nandakalp&utm_medium=Pod&utm_content=jefferson_fisher  BetterHelp. Click https://betterhelp.com/jeffersonfisher for a discount on your first month of therapy. Order my new book, The Next Conversation, or listen to the full audiobook today. Like what you hear? Don’t forget to subscribe and leave a 5-star review! Suggest a topic or ask a question for me to answer on the show!  Want a FREE communication tip each week? Click here to join my newsletter.  Join My School of Communication Watch my podcast on YouTube  Follow me on Instagram  Follow me on TikTok Follow me on LinkedIn Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Ever wonder why some people just click with everyone? In this episode, I sit down with my friend Vanessa Van Edwards—behavioral investigator, author, and founder of Science of People—to break down the science behind first impressions, charisma, and connection. We dig into what people really notice in the first few seconds of meeting you (hint: it’s not your words), how to instantly build trust, and the vocal mistake most people make when they say “hello.” Whether you're walking into a boardroom or meeting someone on the street, this is the conversation that’ll change the way you show up. Check out Vanessa’s amazing website - https://www.scienceofpeople.com/  Thank you to our sponsors: Cozy Earth. Upgrade Your Every Day. Get 40% off at cozyearth.com/jefferson or use code JEFFERSON at check out. Momentous. Visit https://www.livemomentous.com/ and use code JEFFERSON for 35% off your first order. Our Place. Visit https://fromourplace.com/JEFFERSON and use code JEFFERSON for 10% off sitewide. https://fromourplace.com/?utm_source=audio&utm_medium=podcast&utm_campaign=JEFFERSON  BetterHelp. Click https://betterhelp.com/jeffersonfisher for a discount on your first month of therapy. Order my new book, The Next Conversation, or listen to the full audiobook today. Like what you hear? Don’t forget to subscribe and leave a 5-star review! Suggest a topic or ask a question for me to answer on the show!  Want a FREE communication tip each week? Click here to join my newsletter.  Join My School of Communication Watch my podcast on YouTube  Follow me on Instagram  Follow me on TikTokFollow me on LinkedIn Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices