S9e11: Sarah Abrams & Virginia Benson Wigle – The Gifts of Our Story

Sarah Abrams and Virginia Benson Wigle join host Sharon for this warm-hearted conversation about their friendship, their Process experience, and the non-profit they founded, The Starfish Connection. Virginia attended the Hoffman Process at the urging of her husband, John. Years later, John passed away. Virginia, in turn, passed the Hoffman Process on to Sarah, and then to her new husband. Giving the gift of the Process to someone ready and willing to attend is a profound way to pass along the gifts discovered during the week. The seed for The Starfish Connection came from John's dying words - "Our story." The vision for The Starfish Connection, the non-profit Virginia founded, began as storytelling. Now, it focuses on giving gifts to people needing momentary help without expecting anything in return. John's gift continues to grow with numerous gifts given through Starfish. This conversation begins with what's possible in a friendship when two people have had powerful transformations in the Process and have come to trust each other profoundly. The way that Sarah and Virginia are there for each other is what gives their friendship such a strong foundation. We hope you enjoy this heartening conversation. Follow The Starfish Connection on Instagram. You can reach The Starfish Connection by email at [email protected]. More about Sarah Abrams: Sarah Abrams is a seasoned entrepreneur and has navigated various industries with curiosity and creativity. As the Executive Director of The Starfish Connection, she demonstrates her commitment to fostering community through giving and sharing her love of writing and storytelling.  Her journey as a serial entrepreneur underscores her versatility and passion to create products and services that serve her community. From launching a software startup to creating a floral and event company, and a children’s toy store, Sarah has a history of innovation and adaptability. Her ventures showcase her creativity and her knack for sustainable business practices. More about Virginia Benson Wigle: Virginia Benson Wigle is the founder of The Starfish Connection, the nonprofit organization whose mission is to make a difference, one life at a time by providing crisis funding grants to individuals and families facing sudden financial crises.  Virginia has passionately served in the nonprofit sector throughout Santa Barbara County for over thirty years. Before devoting her work full-time to The Starfish Connection, Virginia spent twenty years at Planned Parenthood of Santa Barbara, Ventura, and San Luis Obispo in varying positions from clinic staff to education, and administration. She ultimately served as Vice President of Education before retiring in 2015. She also served two terms on the California State Legislative Committee for Planned Parenthood affiliates in Sacramento. As mentioned in this episode: Planned Parenthood Hoffman Q2 Intensive

Annie Looby, Hoffman Process Senior Facilitator in Australia and Gestalt Psychotherapist is our delightful and wise guest today. For much of her life, Annie has had an extensive career in the performing arts, including film, television, and theatre. Then, in 2014, Annie found the Hoffman Process. She decided to do the Process after witnessing the change in her husband after he completed it. During her Process, Annie experienced a shame attack so painful that she wanted to leave. Her teacher guided her to see that everything Annie was looking for was just on the other side of this painful moment. If Annie could just stay with it, she would find what she was looking for. In this pivotal moment, Annie found the strength and resolve to stay. Listen in to hear what she discovered on the other side. While in her Process, Annie realized that the work of the Process was the work she'd been searching for to do in the world. Annie's first step to becoming a Hoffman teacher was to study to become a therapist. She returned to school for graduate studies in psychotherapy. From there, she trained to become a Hoffman facilitator and has worked for Hoffman since. Annie is fascinated with the human condition and why we are the way we are. Over time as a teacher, she learned to lean back and trust the Process. Listen in as Annie shares her wisdom and experience of teaching the Process. More about Anne Looby: Annie is a Senior Facilitator of the Hoffman Process in Australia as well as working privately as a Counsellor and Gestalt Psychotherapist. With a background in the performing arts, Annie is also an accomplished actor (NIDA), producer, and teacher with more than 30 years of experience. The arts have been a major focus of her life and she has an unwavering belief in the power of creative expression as a healing force. Whether music, art, theatre, or literature, Annie loves the human capacity to create meaning in all expressive forms. As a Facilitator of the Hoffman Process, Annie has witnessed first-hand the power of this deep and life-changing process. “I continue, each time I teach the Process, to deepen my understanding of the beauty, frailty, and resilience of the human spirit – it is an absolute privilege to bear witness to each participant's courage and inherent goodness.” Discover more about Anne on Linkedin and Wikipedia. As mentioned in this episode: Four Stages of Competence: Unconscious incompetence Conscious incompetence Conscious competence Unconscious competence Volker Krohn -      Director, Hoffman Australia; Hoffman Supervising Facilitator Chair, Hoffman International Listen to Volker on the Hoffman Podcast Kerri Chinner was Annie's Process teacher. Annie shares that Kerri no longer teaches the Process but remains a beloved team member. The Paradoxical Theory of Change Transference Awareness Hell: In Awareness hell, we are aware of the patterns that we have that we wish we didn’t have. We see them but don't yet know how to change.  To get out of awareness hell, our work to grow and transform must include three additional steps for change to happen These three steps are Expression, Compassion, and New Ways of Being. All four make up the Cycle of Transformation.

Cory Britt was sober for four years before coming to the Hoffman Process in June of 2024. As Cory shares his life story and recovery story with Sharon, he touches on many painful parts of his life and many joyous ones, too. In a raw and detailed way, Cory leads us through his journey from addiction to freedom. For two decades of alcoholism, Cory held incredibly poignant life dreams and aspirations while at the same time not knowing how to break free of addiction so he could follow them. His dreams terrified him because he had no idea if he would ever live them. He started drinking when he was twelve. This way of life was all he knew. Like many students, Cory had to wait almost six months to attend the Process after enrolling because it is usually fully booked six months ahead. Cory knew the Proess was coming, which was a beacon of hope during his wait. He chose to utilize the many tools he'd learned to navigate a life of sobriety, to consciously dig deeper as he moved closer to his time in Petaluma. Post-Process, Cory feels joy and excitement about his dreams and vision. He knows who he is and understands who he is. He is proud of who he is. His mind is quiet. There's space there. Cory is free now to live the life he dreamed about for all those years. As he says, "All that space I have in my head now, and all that free time in my head, all the amazing shit that I can do with it? That is the Hoffman pouring out of me every day." **Be aware that this conversation contains explicit language and mentions substance abuse. Please use your discretion. More about Cory Britt in his own words: I'm a stay-at-home dad and full-time student, passionate about helping others. With a love for the outdoors, from trail running to hitting up the ski slopes, and working out in the gym, I seek the deeper meanings in conversation, while always enjoying the little moments in life.  Just over four and a half years ago, I was at the lowest point of my existence. The deepest and darkest holes you can imagine, with little to no light in sight. After crawling from the depths of my hell, I began to rid myself of demons and transform my lifestyle. I started by switching careers. I became a student and completely overhauled my daily nutrition, all while seeking refuge for my mental well-being.  In a couple of months, I'll have earned my degree in studies in education. I'm following this with a master's in secondary education, paving a potential path to educational leadership in the future. To say I am excited to be in the classroom full-time is a drastic understatement. My love for children begins at home, with my five-year-old son and two-year-old daughter. Watching them grow has been the greatest gift; the joy they bring me each day is unmeasurable.   Through many dark days, droves of discipline, and unwavering consistency, I have begun to build the life I always dreamed of. For so long I was merely drifting along in search of meaning, now I am living and loving the beautiful space I occupy on earth. I intend to use all my pain, suffering, and the reclaimed happiness and joy, to affect change and inspire those who may feel lost or need help on this journey we call life. Through love and peace, I will continually embody and radiate my light.  As mentioned in this episode: The Rich Roll podcast •   Ken Rideout on the Rich Roll podcast •   Ken Rideout on Instagram Ed McClune, Hoffman teacher and coach •   Listen to Ed on the Hoffman Podcast "When there is no enemy within, the enemy on the outside can do you no harm." African Proverb "Suck the bone marrow out of life." Words shared by Cory Another quote about the marrow of life  from Henry David Thoreau "I wanted to live deep and suck out all the marrow of life, to live so sturdily and Spartan-like as to put to rout all that was not life, to cut a broad swath and shave close, to drive life into a corner, and reduce it to its lowest terms...”

Alysse Godino, Money Coach and Founder of Saffron Money tells her story of transformation during her week at the Hoffman Process. But like all stories of transformation, it begins long before her time at Hoffman. When the Maui fires hit, Alysse was preparing to fly to California for her Process. She wondered if she should go, wondering if it made sense to go during a time of such emergency. But she knew it was the right time, and her transformation was fueled by her grief of what was happening on the island she loves. When Alysse returned home to Maui, she was ready to contribute to rebuilding her community. It was time to put the inner change she experienced into external action. This is a beautiful example of Love's Everyday Radius. What caused Alysse to enroll in the Process wasn't any big traumatizing event. Rather, it was something that she noticed happening inside of her. On the outside, her life was good, even great. But on the inside, she felt an anxiety that wasn't tied to anything apparent. She would come to see, after her week at Hoffman, that she'd been living with an unconscious internal level of anxiety and anger for a long time. Through her work in the Process, she let go of it all. We hope you enjoy this powerful story of healing and love, community and rebuilding, loss and new life. More about Alysse Godino: Alysse has worn many hats in her 32 years. A San Francisco native, NCAA Division 1 athlete, Cornell University graduate, investment banker, Maui resident, founder, financial advisor, consultant, soul surfer, earth lover, and Hoffman graduate. After graduating from Cornell University, Alysse went straight to work as an investment banker in New York and San Francisco. After ~5 years of the corporate grind, Maui came into Alysse’s life. At a moment’s notice, she decided to retire from her corporate finance career and pursue a life on Maui. Almost 7 years later, Alysse surfs daily (sometimes twice daily if the waves are good) and runs her growing financial advisory business, Saffron Money, which focuses on helping millennial women and couples build 7-figure wealth. Discover more about Alysse and her business at  www.saffronmoney.com. Follow Alysse on Instagram and Saffron Money on Instagram. As mentioned in this episode: Maui fire, August 2023 - Cause Maui fire, Lahaina rebuilding Saffron Money - Maui wildfire update

Leila Day, journalist, co-creator/co-host of The Stoop, and freelance podcast show-runner, is our guest this week. She and Drew sat down for an in-depth conversation about story, belonging, and the Hoffman Process. Always a lover of story and storytelling, Leila shares that she fell in love with podcasting as a creative way to format personal storytelling. She says podcasting keeps her curious; when she's not curious, she knows something is off. Leila realized a lack of curiosity was a lack of interest in others and life. With this realization, she knew the light within her was dimming. This is what brought her to the Hoffman Process. At the beginning of her Process, Leila kept to herself and her teachers noticed. Being there felt like she often felt in her childhood - the only Black kid surrounded by white kids. She found herself observing rather than engaging. Her teacher encouraged her to take control of this pattern and actively deconstruct her pattern of disengaging under these circumstances. Leila did and what happened in response was powerful. She realized she was stunting her growth in a place built for her to grow. Her curiosity and light were reignited in her remaining days at the Process because she chose to do it differently. She reclaimed the wholeness and fullness of who she truly is. We hope you enjoy this intimate, honest, loving conversation with Leila and Drew. More about Leila Day: Leila Day is a journalist and co-creator and co-host of The Stoop. An award-winning podcast, The Stoop focuses on Black stories. She won the Gracie Award for an episode on The Stoop titled, Inside These Walls. Leila received her Gracie at The Alliance For Women In Media Foundation's 48th Annual Gracie Awards Gala. She’s also a freelance podcast show-runner who has hosted and edited podcasts for Marvel, CBS Universal, NPR, Netflix, and many others. As a former NPR station reporter, she’s often speaking on unique ways to combine journalism and storytelling. Follow Leila on Instagram and Twitter/X. Follow The Stoop on Instagram. As mentioned in this episode: The Stoop: A podcast about stories from the Black Diaspora. Higher Ground Media: Podcasts for the Obama's production network. Winning the Gracie Award: Image of Leila receiving her Gracie award wearing her fabulous dress. Taken at The Alliance For Women In Media Foundation's 48th Annual Gracie Awards Gala.

Michael Wenger is a Hoffman teacher and past Director of Hoffman International. In this conversation, he shares stories of the early days when the Hoffman Process was first introduced in European countries. This is a delightful conversation about the Hoffman Process's early days, how the Process spread internationally, and about Michael and his spiritual journey.** Michael first learned about the Process in August '86 from his brother who participated in the first European Process. Michael then participated in the second European Process in early '87. Both of these were taught in Germany. Students of these first two Processes then opened Hoffman Institute centers in Germany, France, and Austria, helping to begin to spread the Process throughout Europe. Michael decided to become a Hoffman teacher himself. Fluent in four languages, he helped Bob Hoffman translate the teachings he experienced in English into the four languages he knew. Eventually, Michael helped establish the Hoffman Institute in Italy alongside his sister, Hoffman teacher, Lisa Wenger. Over the years. Michael taught the Hoffman Process within various cultural settings. He came to see the various ways that each culture approached the work differently. Michael shares how each culture approaches the work differently. As he says, the cultural differences become clear because the Process is the same no matter where it is taught. ** This episode mentions substance abuse and is marked explicit for language. Please use your discretion. We hope you enjoy this conversation with Michael and Drew. More about Michael Wenger: After an adventurous youth exploring many limits of lifestyles and consciousness, working as a DJ, Barman, and Actor, Michael met Bob Hoffman in 1987 and attended one of the first Hoffman Programs in Europe. Being fluent in four languages, Michael then followed Bob who was introducing Hoffman to many different countries, thus being able to move quickly through the training to become a Hoffman Process Teacher under the supervision of Bob. In 1990 he assisted his sister Lisa in introducing the Hoffman Institute in Italy and facilitating the Hoffman program for over thirty years. For eight years he also worked as one of the three executive directors of Hoffman Institute International. (Photo, L-R: Michael, Bob Hoffman, Lisa Wenger, Beatrice Wenger) For the past few years, apart from occasionally teaching the Hoffman Process, Michael has been dedicating his time to exploring non-dual awareness and meditation, facilitating retreats (www.camminoaperto.info) inspired by Pir Elias Amidon, Rupert Spira, Ramesh Balsekar, and many other mystical teachers. He lives in the hills above Lugano, Switzerland. As mentioned in this episode: '68 Hippies Michael's Brother died of AIDS Canary Islands Celebration of Integration: This portion of the Process experience happens toward the end of the week. This is when students begin to integrate the parts of their Quadrinity. The Quadrinity is the four aspects of self: Spiritual Self, Body, Intellect, and Emotional Self. Stanley Stefancic, former Hoffman teacher. •    Stanley's obituary •   Listen to Stan on the Hoffman Podcast Lisa Wenger •   Listen to Lisa on the Hoffman Podcast Non-Dual Spirituality Western Sufism Paradox White Sulphur Springs, St Helena, CA •   Home of the Hoffman Process for many years. California's oldest retreat site was nearly destroyed in the Glass Fire. •   Read more about White Sulphur Springs Hoffman International

In this insightful episode with author and podcaster, Liz Moody, Liz shares a powerful truth not often spoken about - that healing can come from a place of joy. Liz graduated from the Hoffman Process in early 2024. As she shares with Drew, even though she found healing in the more painful parts of the emotional work, Liz shares how she found joy pivotal to her healing process. In speaking about moments when her Process breakthroughs happened, Liz talks about the power of the relationship between pain and joy, and compassion and anger, as places where something powerful happened. Compassion for her parents allowed for the suppressed anger she felt at them to finally emerge. Holding both the pain and joy of her experience helped her understand that healing doesn't always come from pain. It can come from feeling joy, safety, and community, too. One of the highlights of this episode is when Liz and Drew speak about the power of doing the Process from the understanding that there is nothing wrong with you and you don't need to be fixed. Knowing that you have everything you need within you to heal and grow allows you to settle into a deep trust in the Process as it carries you through the week. We hope you enjoy this powerful conversation with Liz and Drew. More about Liz Moody: Liz Moody is the host of the top-rated 'The Liz Moody Podcast,' author of bestselling books 'Healthier Together: Recipes for Two—Nourish Your Body, Nourish Your Relationships' and 'Glow Pops,' and a popular online content creator who has helped millions of people transform their lives. Her new book, '100 Ways to Change Your Life: The Science of Leveling Up Health, Happiness, Relationships & Success,' draws from Moody’s more than a decade of experience in the health and wellness world, serving as a new kind of personal development book — one that empowers readers to craft their unique, best life based on the habits they want to form, the problems they want to solve, and the parts of their life they want to take to the next level. A longtime journalist for publications including Vogue, Marie Claire, and goop, an online creator with a social media following of more than 1+ Million, and the founder of Healthy Convo Co, a conversation game company designed to facilitate fun and life-changing conversations, Liz previously served as food director for mindbodygreen, a leading wellness website where she led content strategy for the food section. A regular speaker, panelist, and podcast guest, Liz shares her own deeply personal anxiety journey that led her to where she is now and actionable, fun, and science-based ways for everyone to live their best lives. Find out more about Liz here. Listen to her podcast here. Follow Liz on Instagram and TikTok. As mentioned in this episode: Extroverted Introvert Structured fun Whimsical: "Whim naturally came about as a shortened form of whim-wham, and whimsy and whimsical eventually followed. Whimsical now describes more than just decisions made impulsively, but things resulting from an unrestrained imagination, as in "whimsical children's book characters." Agoraphobia Neuroscience Negative Love Syndrome: ...as described in The Path to Personal Freedom and Love, written by Bob Hoffman Dr. Elissa Epel on Stress and on the Liz Moody podcast Heidi Krahling, Hoffman's Chef •   Listen to Heidi on the Hoffman Podcast Epidemic of Loneliness and Isolation •   by The U.S. Surgeon General’s Advisory on the Healing Effects of Social Connection and Community Dr. Lauren Cook - The Millennial Midlife Crisis on the Liz Moody Podcast Dr. James Doty on The Liz Moody Podcast: Manifest Like a Neurosurgeon

Nailah Blades is a Life and Leadership coach and a lover of the great outdoors. She's our last non-grad guest in our short series of four non-grads. Nailah is passionate about exploring the natural world. She and her family are avid outdoor enthusiasts. A portion of Nailah's work is also in the great outdoors. She invites women of color to return to nature, a space that has always belonged to them too. Nailah isn't a graduate of the Hoffman Process, but her work in the world matches the ethos and values of the Process. At one time, Nailah knew she wasn't doing the work she was meant to do. After a bit of exploration, she found her calling. Since then, she's followed this call to diversify the outdoors, to guide people back into the wild and beautiful world of nature. As you listen to Nailah and Drew, you'll hear Nailah's commitment to the community of women she serves. The call to return to nature has been a thread through many of our episodes. The outdoors can be a healing and regenerative place for everyone. As Nailah shares, for many people, layers of marginalization serve as barriers to the outdoors. For women of color, returning to the outdoors is an embodied reminder of the great power of knowing that the land, seas, and mountaintops are places where everyone belongs. More about Nailah Blades: Nailah Blades is a Life and Leadership coach who helps leaders tap into their power to build personal and professional lives that are whole, good, and full of possibility. She founded Color Outside, a community for Black, Indigenous, and women of color who are ready to create unapologetic, soul-stirring lives through outdoor adventure. Through high-touch coaching that integrates the outdoors, Nailah teaches her clients how to go from languishing to flourishing in every area of their lives. Her work centers on the belief that when we stand in the truth of our authentic selves, we can live and lead in a way that creates real change in our world. Nailah is the author of Joyful by Nature: Outdoor Adventure as Women of Color. Created for the modern woman of color, Joyful by Nature is a guide to reconnecting with nature and reclaiming your place in the outdoor community. When she's not coaching or speaking you can find her hiking with her husband or playing intense games of hide-and-seek with her two tiny kids. Find out more about Nailah at NailahBlades.com. Follow her on Instagram and Twitter. As mentioned in this episode: Salt Lake City, Utah Marginalization Wyoming Park Service Be Bear Aware Campaign - Promoting Safety for People and Safety for Bears Since 1976 Sundance Resort Audre Lorde Bell Hooks Adrienne Maree Brown •   Emergent Strategy book •   Biomimicry Outdoor Afro Latino Outdoors Unlikely Hikers Joyful by Nature, by Nailah Blades

Teacher, counselor, and attorney David Bedrick has developed a profound method for helping people unshame their shame. In this third episode of our short non-grad series of four, David and Drew dive deep into a conversation about the true nature of shame and how to heal it through what David calls Unshaming. While David is not a graduate of the Process, his work is very closely aligned with the work of the Process. As David says, "Shame is an internalized vision of oneself. It creates feelings, but they are not feelings." According to David, to heal shame, someone must truly witness us. In telling our story of what happened, we need to be heard, seen, and understood. We need to be humanized, not stigmatized or pathologized. He says we must be "witnessed for being a human being who’s been through an experience. That’s unshaming. That’s humanizing." We hope you enjoy this profound conversation on the nature of healing shame with David and Drew. **This episode mentions physical and sexual violence and may not be suitable for all listeners. Please use your discretion. More about David Bedrick: David Bedrick, JD, Dipl. PW grew up in a family marked by violence. While his father’s brutality was physical and verbal, his mother’s denial and gaslighting had its own covert power. This formative context introduced David early to the etiology of shame and instilled an urge to unshame. Professionally, he was on the faculty for the University of Phoenix and the Process Work Institute in the U.S. and Poland and is the founder of the Santa Fe Institute for Shame-based Studies where he trains therapists, coaches, and healers and offers workshops for individuals to further their own personal development. David writes for Psychology Today. He's the author of Talking Back to Dr. Phil: Alternatives to Mainstream Psychology and Revisioning Activism: Bringing Depth, Dialogue, and Diversity to Individual and Social Change. His new book is You Can’t Judge a Body by Its Cover: 17 Women’s Stories of Hunger, Body Shame, and Redemption. North Atlantic Books will publish David's upcoming book, The Unshaming Way, in November 2024. You can preorder The Unshaming Way here. Discover more about David at DavidBedrick.com. Follow David on Instagram and Facebook. As mentioned in this episode: The Wounded Healer Archetype Elisabeth Kübler-Ross: “The most beautiful people we have known are those who have known defeat, known suffering, known struggle, known loss, and have found their way out of the depths. These persons have an appreciation, a sensitivity, and an understanding of life that fills them with compassion, gentleness, and a deep loving concern. Beautiful people do not just happen.” Dr. Larry Nassar Somatic Brené Brown Allopathic medicine

We welcome physician, author, educator, and thought leader, Zach Bush, MD to our podcast. Part of our non-grad series, Dr. Zach is not a graduate of the Hoffman Process but his work speaks to the nature of the unburdening of self that also happens through our highly transformative Hoffman Process. In this conversation, Dr. Zach and Drew speak of the unburdening of patterns as just the first step. Then, once we know our authentic nature, we can explore who we truly are in relationship to nature. As a doctor and researcher, Dr. Zach shares with us about the isolated human cell that becomes cancer and how that relates to human beings. Isolation can keep us in a state of disharmony and dysfunction. Coming back into connection and community with other people can heal us, just as the human cell heals when it returns to a connection as part of the larger soil of the body. After we complete the Process, we must find a place or community where we can be our newly awakened selves. This is how we keep unburdening, growing, becoming. According to Dr. Zach, the deep belief that we were kicked out of nature is the root cause of our wounds. And with that belief comes a deep-seated sense of scarcity in all areas of our lives, especially, as Dr. Zach says, "love, acceptance, and God itself." We must heal humanity's root wound - the belief that Nature abandoned us. Nature never did. Nature is our gateway and mirror to healing. We hope you enjoy this profound, expansive, and enlivening conversation with Drew and Zach Bush, MD. Photographs of Zach Bush, MD are by Leia Vita. More about Zach Bush, MD: Zach Bush, MD is a physician specializing in internal medicine, endocrinology, and hospice care. He is an internationally recognized educator and thought leader on the microbiome as it relates to health, disease, and food systems. Zach Bush, MD founded *Seraphic Group and the non-profit Farmer’s Footprint to develop root-cause solutions for human and ecological health. His passion for education reaches across many disciplines, including topics, such as the role of soil and water ecosystems in human genomics, immunity, and gut/brain health. His education has highlighted the need for a radical departure from chemical farming and pharmacy, and his ongoing efforts are providing a path for consumers, farmers, and mega-industries to work together for a healthy future for people and the planet. Zach Bush MD's work in for-profit and nonprofit arenas creates avenues for collaborative action for all stakeholders in our global community for a regenerative future of health for the planet and our children. Discover more about Dr. Zach at ZachBushMD.com. Follow him on Instagram, Facebook, X(Twitter), and YouTube. As mentioned in this episode: Mitochondria Hippocrates Traditional Chinese Medicine Yogic traditions: Ayurveda Qigong Tai chi Microbiome A Course in Miracles Hospice and Palliative Care Buckminster Fuller