Why “No Regrets” Is Bad Advice

We’ve all had moments we wish we could do over: the relationship we stayed in too long, the opportunity we didn’t take, the thing we said that we can’t unsay. Regret can feel awful. So it’s no surprise that “no regrets” has become a popular life motto. But what if regret isn't actually the enemy? In this episode from The Happiness Lab archives, Dr. Laurie explores the surprising science of regret with authors Daniel Pink and Liz Fosslien. Together, they explain why our biggest regrets can reveal what we value most, help us make better decisions, and even point us toward a happier future. If you've ever found yourself stuck replaying an old mistake, this episode offers a more productive way to look back. Experts Mentioned: Daniel Pink, non-fiction author Liz Fosslien, author, illustrator, and expert in workplace culture and emotions Mollie West Duffy, author, illustrator, and expert in organizational development Augusten Burroughs, author and memoirist Bronnie Ware, author and palliative carer  Resources Mentioned: “Liz + Mollie” Big Feelings: How to Be Okay When Things Are  Not Okay, by Liz Fosslien and Mollie West Duffy (2022) Power of Regret: How Looking Backward Moves Us Forward, by Daniel Pink (2022) The Top Five Regrets of the Dying:  A Life Transformed by the Dearly Departing, by Bronnie Ware (2011) “Making Up for Lost Opportunities: The Protective Role of Downward Social Comparisons for Coping With Regrets Across Adulthood,” by Isabelle Bauer and Carsten Wrosch (2011)  Related Episodes  “How to Identify Your Negative Emotions” “How to Be Angry Better” “Why Nostalgia Ain't So Rosy” See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

We hear a lot about rising rates of anxiety, depression, and fragility among kids today. But when Harvard researcher Alexis Redding uncovered a forgotten trove of interviews with college students from the 1970s, she found something surprising: their emotional struggles and developmental challenges sounded nearly identical to those of students today. Dr. Laurie also talks with psychologist Adam Mastroianni about why our minds are so quick to believe that young people are getting worse over time. Together, they explore what we get wrong about “kids these days,” and how historical perspective can help us respond to young people with a little more compassion. Experts Mentioned:  Alexis Redding, developmental psychologist and Co-Chair of Higher Education at the Harvard Graduate School of Education William Perry, professor of education at the Harvard Graduate School of Education Adam Mastroianni, writer and social psychologist Nancy Hill, Charles Bigelow Professor of Education at the Harvard Graduate School of Education Resources Mentioned: Mental Health in College: What Research Tells Us About Supporting Students, by Alexis Redding (2026) Forms of Ethical and Intellectual Development in the College Years: A Scheme, by William Perry (1968) “The Illusion of Moral Decline” by Adam Mastroianni and Dan Gilbert (Nature, 2023) Related Episodes:  “How to Make America's Young People Happier Again” “What is Social Media Doing to Kids?” “How Smartphones Changed Childhood (And What to Do About It)” See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

We’re kicking off a new season of The Happiness Lab with some happiness hot takes — bold claims that challenge conventional wisdom about what it really takes to feel happier. Today's hot take is all about oversharing. We’re usually told that revealing too much is cringe-worthy. That it demonstrates social ignorance. That when it comes to overly personal information, save it for your therapist, because less is usually more. Dr. Laurie argues that revealing more than feels comfortable can actually strengthen our social connections and boost our wellbeing. She speaks with Harvard Business School professor Leslie John, author of Revealing, about why TLI (too little information) is often more dangerous than TMI, and chats with University of Chicago psychologist Nick Epley, author of A Little More Social, about what “embracing the cringe” can teach us about connection, vulnerability, and trust.  Together, they explore the line between sharing and oversharing, and explain why what feels like “too much information” is often just information. Experts Mentioned:  Leslie John, James. E. Burke Professor of Business Administration at Harvard Business School Nick Epley, John Templeton Keller Distinguished Service Professor of Behavioral Science and Faculty Director of the Roman Family Center for Decision Research at the University of Chicago Booth School of Business Bronnie Ware, author and palliative carer  Resources Mentioned: Revealing: The Underrated Power of Oversharing, by Leslie John (2026) “Putting feelings into words: Affect labeling as implicit emotion regulation” by Jared Torre and Matthew Lieberman (Emotion Review, 2018) The Top Five Regrets of the Dying: A Life Transformed by the Dearly Departing, by Bronnie Ware (2011) A Little More Social: How Small Choices Create Unexpected Happiness, Health, and Connection, by Nick Epley (2026) “Undervaluing gratitude: Expressers misunderstand the consequences of showing appreciation,” by Amit Kumar and Nick Epley (Psychological Science, 2018) “Insufficiently complimentary?: Underestimating the positive impact of compliments creates a barrier to expressing them” by Xuan Zhao and Nick Epley (Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 2021) Related Episodes:  “The Secret to Making Friends as an Adult” “Why Giving is a Great Daily Habit” “Caring What You’re Sharing” See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

As summer begins, many of us are bombarded with messages about how our bodies aren't good enough. But what if we embraced movement not out of self-criticism or shame, but self-compassion? To close out our series on how to spring clean your wellbeing, we're revisiting a powerful conversation from The Happiness Lab archives featuring Jessamyn Stanley, author of Every Body Yoga: Let Go of Fear, Get On the Mat, Love Your Body. Dr. Laurie explores how body shame warps our relationship with exercise — and how to rediscover the joy of moving our bodies. If you've ever treated exercise like punishment, this episode offers a happier, kinder way to move through the world. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Negative emotions like sadness, anger, guilt, and anxiety can feel overwhelming. But what if those uncomfortable feelings aren’t problems to fix, but signals worth listening to? As part of our series on how to spring clean your wellbeing, Dr. Laurie revisits a conversation with Harvard Medical School psychologist Susan David, author of Emotional Agility. Together, they discuss why bottling up difficult feelings doesn’t work, why brooding can keep us stuck, and what our individual emotions are actually trying to tell us about our lives and relationships. If you’ve ever tried to bury a bad feeling, this episode offers a more effective approach to emotional healing. Experts Mentioned: Susan David, Harvard Medical School psychologist a Viktor Frankl, psychiatrist, neurologist, and founder of logotherapy Resources Mentioned: Emotional Agility: Get Unstuck, Embrace Change, and Thrive in Work and Life, by Susan David (2016) Related Episodes: "How to Identify Your Negative Emotions" "Stepping Off the Path of Anxiety" "How to be Angry Better" "When Guilt is Good... and When it's Not" See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Our beliefs shape more than we realize. They influence what we notice, how we respond to setbacks, how connected we feel to others, and whether we take action to improve our lives.  As part of our series on how to spring clean your wellbeing, Dr. Laurie sits down with happiness expert Shawn Achor, author of The Power of Beliefs, to explore how our beliefs about time, work, relationships, and self-worth shape happiness, success, and long-term wellbeing. And if some of your beliefs are holding you back, Shawn shares practical ways to start shifting them. Plus, we learn one delightful fact about fireflies. Experts Mentioned: Shawn Achor, positive psychology researcher and author  Richard Wiseman, professor of the public understanding of psychology at the University of Hertfordshire Henry Beecher, anesthesiologist at Harvard Medical School who pioneered research on the placebo effect  Resources Mentioned: The Power of Beliefs: How Strengthening Seven Core Beliefs Predicts Greater Success and a Better Life, by Shawn Achor (2026) The Happiness Advantage: The Seven Principles of Positive Psychology That Fuel Success and Performance at Work, by Shawn Achor (2010) The Luck Factor: The Scientific Study of the Lucky Mind, by Richard Wiseman (2004) "From Jerusalem to Jericho: A Study of Situational and Dispositional Variables in Helping Behavior," by John M. Darley and C. Daniel Batson (Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 1973) Related Episodes: "Grateful Expectations" “How to Adopt a Growth Mindset” “Happiness Lessons of The Ancients: The Buddha” "Happiness Lessons of The Ancients: Socrates and Self-Knowledge" See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Struggling to find free time? Feeling constantly busy or burned out? This episode is for you. Dr. Laurie explores the science behind “time famine,” the nagging sense that there’s never enough time in the day. Writer Tom Hodgkinson, author of How to Be Idle, makes a provocative case that doing nothing (napping, daydreaming, even staring out the window) isn’t laziness, but a powerful path to greater happiness and creativity. Plus, Harvard professor Ashley Whillans explains why we keep prioritizing money over time and what that trade-off is really costing us. Experts Mentioned: Tom Hodgkinson, founder and editor of The Idler and author of How to Be Idle Ashley Whillans, Harvard Business School professor and author of Time Smart Cassie Mogilner, UCLA professor of marketing and behavioral decision making Michael I. Norton, Harvard Business School professor of business administration  John M. Darley and C. Daniel Batson, psychologists behind the Good Samaritan helping study. Resources Mentioned: The Idler, founded by Tom Hodgkinson How to Be Idle, by Tom Hodgkinson (2004) Time Smart: How to Reclaim Your Time and Live a Happier Life, by Ashley V. Whillans (Harvard Business Review Press, 2020) “Time, Money, and Subjective Well-Being”, by Cassie Mogilner, Ashley V. Whillans, and Michael I. Norton (Handbook of Well-Being, 2018) “Buying Time Promotes Happiness”, by Ashley V. Whillans, Elizabeth W. Dunn, Paul Smeets, Rene Bekkers, and Michael I. Norton (Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences, 2017) “From Jerusalem to Jericho: A Study of Situational and Dispositional Variables in Helping Behavior”, by John M. Darley and C. Daniel Batson (Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 1973) “Valuing Time Over Money Is Associated With Greater Happiness”, by Ashley V. Whillans, Aaron C. Weidman, and Elizabeth W. Dunn (Social Psychological and Personality Science, 2016) “Valuing Time Over Money Is Associated With Greater Social Connection”, by Ashley V. Whillans and Elizabeth W. Dunn (Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, 2018) “Thinking About Time As Money Decreases Environmental Behavior”, by Ashley V. Whillans and Elizabeth W. Dunn (Organizational Behavior and Human Decision Processes, 2015) “Time Affluence as a Path Toward Personal Happiness and Ethical Business Practice: Empirical Evidence From Four Studies”, by Tim Kasser and Kennon M. Sheldon (Journal of Business Ethics, 2008) Related Episodes: “Are We Born to Work? Or Born to Live?” “Working Your Way to Happiness” “Stop Wasting Your Energy — Here’s What to Do Instead” “The Happiness Lessons Helping Win Olympic Medals” See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

We hear a lot about how screens affect our mental health, but time spent on computers and smartphones is having just as much of an impact on our physical health — from brain fog and weakened core muscles to changes in our posture, our sleep, and even the shape of our eyes. As part of our series on spring cleaning your wellbeing, Dr. Laurie sits down with journalist and podcast host Manoush Zomorodi, author of Body Electric, to explore how modern tech habits are affecting us physically, and what steps we can take to protect our health in a world where screens aren’t going away anytime soon. Experts Mentioned: Manoush Zomorodi, journalist, author, and host of NPR's TED Radio Hour Dr. Keith Diaz, exercise physiologist and Florence Irving Associate Professor of Behavioral Medicine at Columbia University Medical Center Dr. Maria Liu, Professor of Clinical Optometry at UC Berkeley and founder of the Myopia Control Clinic Dr. Rick Neitzel, Associate Professor of Environmental Health Sciences at the University of Michigan  Dr. Peter Strick, Thomas Detre Professor and Chair of Neurobiology at the University of Pittsburgh Dr. Sahib Khalsa, psychiatrist and neuroscientist at UCLA  Resources Mentioned: Body Electric: The Hidden Health Costs of the Digital Age and New Science to Reclaim Your Well-Being, by Manoush Zomorodi (2026) Body Electric, a six-part podcast series by Manoush Zomorodi (National Public Radio, 2023) "Breaking Up Prolonged Sitting to Improve Cardiometabolic Risk: Dose-Response Analysis of a Randomized Crossover Trial," by Keith M. Diaz et al. (Medicine & Science in Sports & Exercise, 2023) "The Mind-Body Problem: Circuits That Link the Cerebral Cortex to the Adrenal Medulla," by Richard P. Dum, David J. Levinthal, and Peter L. Strick (PNAS, 2019) Bored and Brilliant: How Spacing Out Can Unlock Your Most Productive and Creative Self, by Manoush Zomorodi (2017) Related Episodes: "How I Stopped Fearing Boredom" "How Our Screen Habits Impact Our Stress Levels" "Smell, Taste and Touch: How to Joyfully Awaken Your Senses" “Sight and Sound: How to Joyfully Awaken Your Senses” See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Buying something new can trigger a rush of dopamine, leading to a momentary boost in happiness. But the rush is fleeting, and over time, our possessions can end up weighing us down more than they lift us up. As part of our series on spring cleaning your wellbeing, Dr. Laurie explores why material things so often fail to make us happier, and why experiences are usually a better investment in our long-term wellbeing. Along the way, she talks with psychologist Bruce Hood, researcher Amit Kumar, and writer Cait Flanders, who reflects on the psychological benefits of shifting from a maximalist lifestyle to a minimalist one. If you’ve ever wondered whether it’s actually worth the time and effort to clean out your closet, this episode offers some answers. Experts Mentioned: Bruce Hood, professor of developmental psychology in society at the University of Bristol Amit Kumar, assistant professor of marketing and psychology at the University of Texas at Austin Cait Flanders, author of The Year of Less and Adventures in Opting Out Richard Easterlin, economist and professor at the University of Southern California, originator of the Easterlin Paradox Resources Mentioned: Possessed: Why We Want More Than We Need, by Bruce Hood (2019) The Year of Less: How I Stopped Shopping, Gave Away My Belongings, and Discovered Life Is Worth More Than Anything You Can Buy in a Store, by Cait Flanders (2018) “Does Economic Growth Improve the Human Lot? Some Empirical Evidence” by Richard A. Easterlin (Nations and Households in Economic Growth, 1974) Related Episodes: "The Unhappy Millionaire" "Why Giving Money to Others Makes Us Happier" "You Can't Always Want What You Like" See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Our surroundings affect our happiness in ways we often don’t notice. The layout of a room, the amount of clutter in our home, and even small changes to lighting can shape our mood, focus, and relationships. As The Happiness Lab continues its spring cleaning series, Dr. Laurie sits down with University of Virginia Professor Leidy Klotz, author of In a Good Place, to explore the hidden ways our spaces shape our inner lives. Why do certain places make us feel calm, connected, and grounded, while others leave us distracted or drained? From creating more connection at home to using our surroundings to remember loved ones we’ve lost, these practical ideas will refresh your space and your wellbeing. Experts Mentioned: Leidy Klotz, professor of engineering and architecture at the University of Virginia Nelson Mandela, anti-apartheid activist and former president of South Africa Jane Jacobs, writer and urban activist Resources Mentioned: In a Good Place: How the Spaces Where We Live, Work, and Play Can Help Us Thrive, by Leidy Klotz (2026) Subtract: The Untapped Science of Less by Leidy Klotz (2021) “Spatial Patterns of Solar Photovoltaic System Adoption: The Influence of Neighbors and the Built Environment” by Marcello Graziano and Kenneth Gillingham (Journal of Economic Geography, 2015). “Fire Drill: Inattentional Blindness and Amnesia for the Location of Fire Extinguishers” by Alan D Castel, Michael Vendetti, and Keith J Holyoak. (Attention, Perception, & Psychophysics, 2012) “Self-Determination Theory and the Facilitation of Intrinsic Motivation, Social Development, and Well-Being” by Richard M. Ryan and Edward L. Deci (American Psychologist, 2000). “Neighborhoods and Violent Crime: A Multilevel Study of Collective Efficacy” by Robert J. Sampson, Stephen W. Raudenbush, and Felton Earls (Science, 1997). “When Choice Is Demotivating: Can One Desire Too Much of a Good Thing?” by Sheena S. Iyengar and Mark R. Lepper (Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 2000). Related Episodes: "Choice Overload" by The Happiness Lab (2019). "How to Make Better Choices (with Barry Schwartz)" by The Happiness Lab (2025). "How to Design a More Meaningful Life (with Dave Evans and Bill Burnett)" by The Happiness Lab (2026). See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.