Small Steps to Happiness: The Science of Mindful Living with Laurie Santos | From The One You Feed

Today we're sharing author Eric Zimmer’s interview with Dr. Laurie on The One You Feed podcast.  In this episode, Dr. Laurie Santos discusses the importance of taking small steps to happiness and the science of mindful living. She reminds us that happiness is not a destination, but a practice. By understanding the science behind well-being and implementing small, consistent changes, we can learn how to apply these insights to our own lives to find greater joy and fulfillment. Key Takeaways: Embrace the power of small, consistent actions in shaping our happiness Understand how our environment and social connections influence our behavior Learn the common misconceptions about what truly makes us happy Discover strategies for overcoming loneliness and building meaningful connections If you like what you hear, find The One You Feed wherever you get podcasts.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Most of us are familiar with this frustrating pattern: you set a goal, start off strong, but then lose motivation and end up right back at square one. Why does it seem so hard to change — even when you have a plan in place? Turns out, you may be aiming too high, too soon. Laurie breaks down the science behind this pattern with Eric Zimmer, host of the award-winning podcast “The One You Feed” and author of the new book How A Little Becomes A Lot: The Art of Small Changes for a More Meaningful Life. Eric spent years struggling to overcome a heroin addiction before eventually turning his life around. He explains why lasting change often comes from making consistent progress in the right direction rather than attempting one dramatic transformation, and shares what he’s learned about building momentum, overcoming setbacks, and finally reaching the goals we’ve been striving for. Experts Mentioned: Eric Zimmer, author and host of “The One You Feed” Steven Pressfield, author Resources Mentioned: How A Little Becomes A Lot: The Art of Small Changes for a More Meaningful Life, by Eric Zimmer (2026) “The One You Feed,” hosted by Eric Zimmer  The War of Art: Break Through the Blocks and Win Your Inner Creative Battles by Steven Pressfield (2002) Related Episodes: "Dump Your Inner Drill Sergeant" "How to Kick Bad Habits (and Start Good Ones)" "You Only Live Once… So Commit" See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Your brain is changing all the time, whether you realize it or not. Everything from your hobbies and chores to the media you consume can physically shape it. So how can you make sure it’s changing in ways that actually serve you? Laurie speaks with neuroscientist Dr. Richard Davidson, whose decades of work with the Dalai Lama helped pioneer the scientific study of meditation. Drawing on research with Buddhist monks, stressed-out school teachers, and others, Richie explains why psychological flourishing is a skill we can train, and how simple practices involving awareness, connection, insight, and purpose can help us become more resilient, focused, and fulfilled. His new book, Born to Flourish, is out now. Experts Mentioned: Richard Davidson, Professor of Psychology and Psychiatry and Founder and Director of the Center for Healthy Minds at the University of Wisconsin–Madison Cortland Dahl, Contemplative Scientist at the Center for Healthy Minds at the University of Wisconsin–Madison 14th Dalai Lama, spiritual leader of Tibetan Buddhism  Matthieu Ricard, Buddhist monk  François Jacob, Nobel Prize-winning biologist Resources Mentioned: Born to Flourish: How New Science and Ancient Wisdom Reveal a Simple Path to Thriving, by Richard Davidson and Cortland Dahl (2026) “Neurogenesis in the adult brain: death of a dogma,” by Charles Gordon Gross (Nature Reviews Neuroscience, 2000) “The book of neurogenesis,” by Matthew Sloan (Harvard Health Publishing, 2021) “In pursuit of resilience: stress, epigenetics, and brain plasticity,” by Bruce McEwen (Annals of the New York Academy of Sciences, 2016) “The plasticity of well-being: A training-based framework for the cultivation of human flourishing,” by Cortland Dahl, Christine Wilson-Mendenhall, and Richard Davidson (Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences, 2020) “Navigation-related structural change in the hippocampi of taxi drivers,” by Eleanor Maguire, David Gadian, Ingrid Johnsrude, Catriona Good, John Ashburner, Richard Frackowiak, and Christopher Frith (Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences, 2000) “Training induces changes in white-matter architecture,” by Jan Scholz, Miriam Klein, Timothy Behrens, and Heidi Johansen-Berg (Nature Neuroscience, 2009) “Long-term meditators self-induce high-amplitude gamma synchrony during mental practice,” by Antoine Lutz, Lawrence Greischar, Nancy B. Rawlings, Matthieu Ricard, Richard Davidson (Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences, 2004) “A Randomized Controlled Trial of a Smartphone-Based Well-Being Training in Public School System Employees During the COVID-19 Pandemic,” by Matthew Hirshberg, Corrina Frye, Cortland Dahl, Kevin Riordan, Nathan Vack, Jane Sachs, Robin Goldman, Richard Davidson, and Simon B Goldberg (Journal of Educational Psychology, 2022) “Altered anterior insula activation during anticipation and experience of painful stimuli in expert meditators,” by Antoine Lutz, Daniel McFarlin, David Perlman, Tim Salomons, and Richard Davidson (Neuroimage, 2013) Healthy Minds Program (meditation app) “Integrating mindfulness and connection practices into preservice teacher education results in durable automatic race bias reductions,” by Matthew Hirshberg, Lisa Flook, Evan Moss, Robert Enright, and Richard Davidson (Journal of School Psychology, 2022) “Sitting and Active Meditation Practice: Utilization and Associations with Outcomes in Naturalistic and Clinical Trial Data,” by Simon B Goldberg, Zishan Jiwani, Cortland J Dahl, Raquel Tatar, John D Dunne, Richard J Davidson, Matthew J Hirshberg (Mindfulness, 2026) Related Episodes: “How to Find Your Purpose” “The Power of Awe… and Where to Find It” “Happiness Lessons of The Ancients: Socrates and Self-Knowledge” “How to Adopt a Growth Mindset” See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

When we’re struggling to reach a goal, most of us assume the answer is to buckle down and try harder. But what if all that white-knuckling is actually making things more difficult than they need to be? Dr. Laurie speaks with psychologist Angela Duckworth, best known for her groundbreaking work on grit, about a surprising new approach to achievement. In her new book, Situated: Find the People and Places That Bring Out Your Best, Angela explains why changing what’s around us can sometimes be more effective than trying to change ourselves. Experts Mentioned: Angela Duckworth, Professor of Psychology at the University of Pennsylvania  Lee Ross, Professor of Psychology at Stanford University  Richard Nisbett, Professor Emeritus of Psychology at the University of Michigan  James Gross, Professor of Psychology at Stanford University  Adrian Ward, Associate Professor of Marketing at University of Texas at Austin Joseph Henrich, Professor of Biological Anthropology and Professor of Human Evolutionary Biology at Harvard University Bob Bowman, Director of Swimming and Diving and Head Men’s Coach at University of Texas at Austin Martin Seligman, Professor of Psychology at the University of Pennsylvania Anders Ericsson, Professor of Psychology at Florida State University Walter Mischel, Professor Emeritus of Psychology at Columbia University Reinhold Niebuhr, Protestant theologian Viktor Frankl, Austrian psychiatrist and neurologist Resources Mentioned: Situated: Find the People and Places That Bring Out Your Best, by Angela Duckworth (2026) Grit: The Power and Passion of Perseverance, by Angela Duckworth (2016) The Person and the Situation: Perspectives on Social Psychology, by Lee Ross and Richard Nisbett (1991) Frog and Toad Together, by Arnold Lobel (1972) Man's Search for Meaning, by Viktor Frankl (1946) “The Serenity Prayer,” by Reinhold Niebuhr The Art of War, by Sun Tzu The Golden Rules: 10 Steps to World-Class Excellence in Your Life and Work, by Bob Bowman (2016) “A Stitch in Time: Strategic Self-Control in High School and College Students,” by Angela Duckworth, Rachel White, Alyssa Matteucci, Annie Shearer, and James Gross (Journal of Educational Psychology, 2016) “Self-Control and Academic Achievement,” by Angela Duckworth, Jamie Taxer, Lauren Eskreis-Winkler, Brian Galla, and James Gross (Annual Review of Psychology, 2019) “Self-control and SAT outcomes: Evidence from two national field studies,” by Chayce Baldwin, Kyla Haimovitz, Priya Shankar, Robert Gallop, David Yeager, James Gross, and Angela Duckworth (PLoS One, 2022) “Situational Strategies for Self-Control,” by Angela Duckworth, Tamar Szabó Gendler, and James Gross (Perspectives on Psychological Science, 2016) “Brain Drain: The Mere Presence of One's Own Smartphone Reduces Available Cognitive Capacity,” by Adrian Ward, Kristen Duke, Ayelet Gneezy, and Maarten Bos. (Journal of the Association for Consumer Research, 2017) “A 2-Phase Labeling and Choice Architecture Intervention to Improve Healthy Food and Beverage Choices,” by Anne N Thorndike, Lillian Sonnenberg, Jason Riis, Susan Barraclough, and Douglas E Levy (American Journal of Public Health, 2012) “Innovation in the collective brain,” by Michael Muthukrishna and Joseph Henrich (Philosophical Transactions of the Royal Society B, 2016) Related Episodes: “Your Environment Affects Your Happiness More Than You Think with Dr. Leidy Klotz” “How to Spend Your Time and Money Better (with Nobel Prize Winner Richard Thaler)” “The Man Who Invented Happiness Science: Marty Seligman” “How Our Screen Habits Impact Our Stress Levels” See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

It’s hard to focus on wellbeing when we’re expected to work nonstop until retirement. Taking a break from time to time should be a given, not a privilege. Dr. Laurie works in one of the few industries that recognizes the importance of extended time off. As she begins her own year-long sabbatical from Yale, we’re revisiting her conversation with DJ DiDonna, author of Big Time Off, about what can happen when we step away from work for more than just a vacation. DJ breaks down how to manage the biggest barriers to taking a sabbatical, from money and workplace optics to family responsibilities. He also explains why extended time off can help us recover from burnout, rethink our routines, and experiment with different versions of ourselves. Whether you’re contemplating months away or just fantasizing about turning off your email, this episode makes the case that sometimes the best way to move forward is to stop for a while. Experts Mentioned: DJ DiDonna, Senior Lecturer of Business Administration at Harvard Business School Resources Mentioned: Big Time Off: The Transformative Power of Sabbaticals and How to Take One, by DJ DiDonna (2026) Recover, Explore, Practice: The Transformative Potential of Sabbaticals, by Kira Schabram, Matt Bloom, and DJ DiDonna (Academy of Management Discoveries, 2023)  The Sabbatical Project Related Episodes: “You Can Change” “Happiness Lessons of the Ancients: The Day of Rest” “How to be Happier at Work (with Dan Harris)” “Burnout and How to Avoid It” See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Most of us hate asking for favors. We worry about being a burden, coming across as needy, or facing rejection for asking too much. But what if our fear of bothering people is stopping us, and the people around us, from becoming happier? Dr. Laurie explores why our instincts about asking for help are usually wrong. She speaks with psychologist Nicholas Epley about why asking others for help can actually make them like us more. And author and entrepreneur Jia Jiang shares how 100 days of asking for outlandish favors totally transformed his life. Experts Mentioned: Nicholas Epley, Professor of Behavioral Science at the University of Chicago Booth School of Business Jia Jiang, author, entrepreneur, and expert in “rejection therapy” Resources Mentioned: Rejection Proof: How I Beat Fear and Became Invincible Through 100 Days of Rejection, by Jia Jiang (2015) “What I Learned from 100 Days of Rejection,” by Jia Jiang (TED, 2016) “100 Days of Rejection Therapy,” by Jia Jiang (YouTube series, 2013) RejectionTherapy.com “Surprisingly Happy to Have Helped: Underestimating Prosociality Creates a Misplaced Barrier to Asking for Help,” by Xuan Zhao and Nicholas Epley (Psychological Science, 2022) “Beautiful mess effect: Self–other differences in evaluation of showing vulnerability,” by Anna Bruk, Sabine Scholl, and Herbert Bless (Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 2018) Related Episodes: “Treating the Pain of a Broken Heart” “Forget Small Talk: Go Deep Instead” “The Surprising Case for Oversharing” See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

In recent years, we've heard a lot of unsettling news about the loneliness epidemic and the dangers of social isolation. But could all this talk about loneliness paradoxically be making the problem... worse? Dr. Laurie unpacks what we get wrong about loneliness. Along the way, she speaks with historian Fay Bound-Alberti about why loneliness, as we think of it today, is a surprisingly modern phenomenon. Psychologist Micaela Rodriguez explains why we often confuse loneliness with being alone — and why learning to enjoy solitude can actually make us less lonely. And writer Emma Gannon shares practical tips for embracing the joy of your own company. Laurie discovers why spending time alone is a skill, and how getting better at it can help us regulate our emotions, spark creativity, and strengthen our connections with others. Experts Mentioned: Vivek Murthy, 19th and 21st Surgeon General of the United States Fay Bound-Alberti, Professor of Modern History at King’s College London Micaela Rodriguez, Assistant Professor of Psychology at Yale University Emma Gannon, author, blogger, and podcaster  Matthew Killingsworth, Senior Fellow at The Wharton School, University of Pennsylvania Timothy Wilson, Professor Emeritus of Psychology at the University of Virginia Scott Campbell, Professor of Mediated Communication at The Ohio State University Julia Cameron, author, poet, songwriter, filmmaker, and playwright Blaise Pascal, 17th-century French philosopher Resources Mentioned: “Our Epidemic of Loneliness and Isolation: The U.S. Surgeon General’s Advisory on the Healing Effects of Social Connection and Community,” by Office of the Surgeon General (2023) “Social connection linked to improved health and reduced risk of early death,” by World Health Organization Media Team (2025) A Biography of Loneliness: The History of an Emotion, by Fay Bound-Alberti (2019) “Just think: The challenges of the disengaged mind,” by Timothy Wilson, David Reinhard, Erin Westgate, Daniel Gilbert, Nicole Ellerbeck, Cheryl Hahn, Casey Brown, and Adi Shaked (Science, 2014) “How people think about being alone shapes their experience of loneliness,” by Micaela Rodriguez, Kathryn E. Schertz, and Ethan Kross (Nature Communications, 2025) “From ‘isolation’ to ‘me-time’: Linguistic shifts enhance solitary experiences,” by Micaela Rodriguez and Scott Campbell (Cognition and Emotion, 2025) “Solitude can be good—If you see it as such: Reappraisal helps lonely people experience solitude more positively,” by Micaela Rodriguez,  Samuel Pratt, Benjamin W. Bellet, and Richard J. McNally (Journal of Personality, 2023) A Creative Compass: Finding Your Way to a Creative Life, by Emma Gannon (2026) “A love letter to solitude,” by Emma Gannon (The Hyphen, 2025) “‘Don’t you have friends to go with?’: the stigma and joy of a table for one,” by Emma Gannon (The Guardian, 2026) The Artist’s Way, by Julia Cameron (1992) Related Episodes: “Beat Your Isolation Loneliness” “Fighting that "Meh" Feeling of Languishing” “Emotions Are Data…So Listen to Them” See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

What would it take to make you happier? A raise? A promotion? Getting into your dream school? Winning the lottery? It turns out that we’re surprisingly bad at predicting how these events will actually make us feel. When they do make us happier, research shows that the highs won’t last as long as we expect. The good news is that the lows won't last as long as we expect either. We're just as bad at predicting how life's setbacks will affect us. Dr. Laurie speaks with Harvard psychologist Daniel Gilbert about why our minds exaggerate the emotional impact of life’s biggest events. She also hears from psychotherapist Clay Cockrell about why extreme wealth often comes with misery, and from writer Rafaella Gunz and Army veteran J.R. Martinez about their journeys toward happiness and meaning after experiences they once thought would ruin their lives. Experts Mentioned: Daniel Gilbert, Professor of Psychology at Harvard University Clay Cockrell, Licensed Clinical Social Worker and Psychotherapist  Daniel Kahneman, Professor of Psychology, Emeritus, and Professor of Psychology and Public Affairs, Emeritus at Princeton University Angus Deaton, Professor of International Affairs, Emeritus, and Professor of Economics and International Affairs, Emeritus at Princeton University Matthew Killingsworth, Senior Fellow at The Wharton School, University of Pennsylvania Rafaella Gunz, writer and social worker  J.R. Martinez, Army veteran, actor, author, and podcast host Resources Mentioned: “Billie Bob’s (Mis) Fortune,” by Steve McViker (Houston Press, 2000) “The How of Happiness: A New Approach to Getting the Life You Want,” by Sonja Lyubomirsky (2007) “High income improves evaluation of life but not emotional well-being,” by Daniel Kahneman and Angus Deaton (Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences, 2010) “Experienced well-being rises with income, even above $75,000 per year,” by Matthew Killingsworth (Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences, 2023) “Income and emotional well-being: a conflict resolved,” by Matthew Killingsworth, Daniel Kahneman, and Barbara Mellers (Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences, 2023) Stumbling on Happiness, by Daniel Gilbert (2006) “Immune neglect: a source of durability bias in affective forecasting,” by Daniel Gilbert, Elizabeth Pinel, Timothy Wilson, Stephen Blumberg, and Thalia Wheatley (Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 1998) “Affective forecasting: Why can't people predict their emotions?,” by Peter Ayton, Alice Pott, and Najat Elwakili (Thinking & Reasoning, 2007) “Anticipated versus actual reaction to HIV test results,” by Elaine Sieff, Robyn Dawes, and George Lowenstein (The American Journal of Psychology, 1999) Well-Being: Foundations of Hedonic Psychology, by Daniel Kahneman, Edward Diener, and Norbert Schwartz (1999) “Getting Herpes Was a Gift,” by Rafaella Gunz (Ravishly, 2016) “The impact bias is alive and well,” by Timothy Wilson and Daniel Gilbert (Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 2013) Full of Heart: My Story of Survival, Strength, and Spirit, by J.R. Martinez with Alexandra Rockey Fleming (2012) Related Episodes: “Why We Sabotage Our Future Selves”  “Why the ‘Good Enough’ Relationship Beats the ‘Perfect Partner’” “Working Your Way to Happiness”  “Why Nostalgia Ain’t So Rosy” See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Men today are spending less time with friends, and many have no close friendships at all. Research shows that this lack of social connection can lead to serious long-term consequences for men's mental and physical health. The answer isn’t just more social interaction. Guys need something deeper: bromance. Dr. Laurie speaks with actor, director, and author Andrew McCarthy about his book, Who Needs Friends: An Unscientific Examination of Male Friendship Across America, and what he learned after reconnecting with the men who shaped his life. She also talks with Harvard behavioral scientist Todd Rogers about why sports fandom can be a surprisingly powerful way for men to build deeper relationships. Experts Mentioned: Andrew McCarthy, actor, director, and author Todd Rogers, Professor of Public Policy at Harvard Kennedy School Julianne Holt-Lunstad, Professor of Psychology and Neuroscience and Director of the Social Connection & Health Lab at Brigham Young University Michael Norton, Professor of Business Administration at Harvard Business School Sara Algoe, Professor of Psychology at the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill Resources Mentioned:  Who Needs Friends: An Unscientific Examination of Male Friendship Across America, by Andrew McCarthy (2026) The Fandom and Social Connection Initiative Harvard Study of Adult Development The Ritual Effect: The Transformative Power of Our Everyday Actions, by Michael Norton (2024) “Positive Interpersonal Processes,” by Sara Algoe (Current Directions in Psychological Science, 2019) See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Most of us default to small talk. It's polite, familiar, and feels like the safest way to start a conversation. But it may also be one of the biggest barriers to genuine connection. Dr. Laurie speaks with author and metal-health advocate Claire Eastham about her month-long experiment replacing small talk with deeper conversations while living with social anxiety.  She also chats with psychologist Nicholas Epley about why going deeper often scares us, what research reveals about opening up, and what happens when you tell a stranger about the last time you cried. Experts Mentioned: Claire Eastham, author, blogger, and mental-health advocate Nicholas Epley, Professor of Behavioral Science and Faculty Director of the Roman Family Center for Decision Research at the University of Chicago Booth School of Business Arthur Aron, Professor of Psychology at the State University of New York at Stony Brook  Elaine Aron, psychologist and author  Resources Mentioned: We're All Mad Here: The No-Nonsense Guide to Living with Social Anxiety, by Claire Eastham (2016) A Little More Social: How Small Choices Create Unexpected Happiness, Health, and Connection, by Nicholas Epley (2026) “The Experimental Generation of Interpersonal Closeness: A Procedure and Some Preliminary Findings,” by Arthur Aron, Edward Melinat, Elaine Aron, Robert Darrin Vallone, and Renee Bator (Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin, 1997) Related Episodes:  “The Surprising Case for Oversharing” “Make Vulnerability Your Superpower (with NBA Star Kevin Love)” “Harnessing People Around us to Feel Happier (Live with Ethan Kross)” See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.