What We Get Wrong When We Write Goals

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SAVE YOUR FREE SPOT FOR THE WORKSHOP 11/10 You have an IEP, a plan of care, or a progress report due, and you're staring at a blank goal box with the cursor blinking at you. Before you type "Johnny will…", this episode gives you one question to ask first: what do I actually know about how this child communicates today? I walk through the exercise I do before I write any goal. I call it one sentence, but you'll hear me admit I've never written a single sentence in my life, so use notes, bullets, or a real sentence. The point is to take a few minutes to describe the child before you decide what to target. In this episode: The story of Ava and her mom, who said "she really isn't communicating" and then described a dozen ways she was. Ava didn't change that day, but her mom's frame of reference did. The four parts of the exercise: what the child does (not what he can't do), where it happens and with whom, what job the communication is doing for him, and where it could go next. How to translate deficit phrases like "does not request" or "lacks joint attention" into what a child actually does. Why communication that only happens with mom at home still counts, and what AAC user Kayla Ireland taught me about choosing the modality that makes sense in each setting. How to give paras, teachers, and families a clear picture of their job, such as "when Johnny takes your hand to the fridge, model from his perspective: let's get a drink." Why I start from skills a child is already showing and build rubric goals from there. Free live workshop, Tuesday, November 10: I'll build a rubric communication goal with you and demo Goal Studio, the tool I use to write goals and create data sheets in one place. There are two sessions, 12 PM and 7 PM Eastern. Seats are limited, so register for your ticket here: [workshop link] Mentioned in this episode: The Skill Decision Tree, an interactive tool inside The Childled Collective: join.childled.org Goal Studio  

Join me inside The Child-Led Collective! Some of the best child-led sessions are quiet ones. The child is regulated, you're right there with them, and things just flow. Then the session ends and the doubt starts: did I even do my job? Nicole opens with a story about a therapist at her clinic. A parent asked what "work" they got done, and the therapist froze. Nicole has covered how to explain a session to parents, in notes, and to other adults. This time she goes further back and asks where the feeling comes from. She names five sources: the data sheet, the clock, the audience, our own exhaustion, and a narrow picture of what engagement should look like. Then she explains why an easy session is often the result of skilled work. She also shares video of one of her own sessions from a few years ago, where she went into "performer mode" with a child who needed something very different. In this episode 01:13 The session that went almost too well, and the spiral that follows 03:10 A therapist gets asked "What work did you do?" and freezes 04:37 Common ground when parents and other adults use the word "work" 06:22 Asking where the self-doubt comes from 08:57 Source one: the data sheet 11:42 Source two: the clock 13:49 Source three: the audience, including parents watching and grad school perfectionism 16:18 Source four: exhaustion as a badge of honor 19:04 Source five: what we were taught engagement looks like, versus how it often looks for autistic kids 22:21 Why the easy session is often the result of the work 24:28 Nicole's own session video and "performer mode" 27:59 A simple check for the next time "I didn't do enough" shows up Key takeaways The feeling that a calm session "wasn't enough" was taught to us through data sheets, session minutes, productivity expectations, people watching us, burnout culture, and neurotypical ideas of engagement. It isn't a sign you did a bad job. Much of child-led work doesn't fit trial-by-trial data. One meaningful moment can matter more than a sheet of tallies. Packing more into a session can overwhelm a child and take away the downtime they need to try new skills and connect. For many autistic kids, engagement can look like lining up toys while you hand them the next one, scripting while glancing at you, or bringing you something so you'll do something with it. The better you get at being child-led, the easier your sessions can look, and the more your brain may say you're not doing enough. Instead of judging a session by how much you did or how tired you are, ask: did what I offered match what the child needed? If yes, it was a productive session. If not, you know what to adjust.

Join us inside The Child-Led Collective An autistic child can point to "hurt" on a picture card in your therapy room. Five minutes later they fall on the playground, and they have no reliable way to tell anybody. So did we actually teach that child to communicate pain? In this episode Nicole gets honest about the feelings activities she used to love (Howie's Owies, we're looking at you) and the gap she kept running into between knowing a feelings word and being able to reach for it when the body is actually feeling it. She walks through interoception from the inside, including a very personal story about her own ADHD, and shares the small shift at snack time that changed how she teaches feelings words.   Spoiler alert: it starts with a bag of goldfish. WHAT YOU'LL HEAR INSIDE THIS EPISODE Why a full data sheet on feelings words can fool all of us The circle time kid who picks "happy" while actively crying What interoception actually is, in plain language Nicole's own story of a snoozed body alarm, and the shame that came with it The one swap at snack time that costs you nothing: "I'm hungry" instead of "I want goldfish" Why hunger, thirst, and full are the easiest feelings to start with A 4 a.m. Twix bar and the summer of freeze pops (it's relevant, promise) Why she stopped teaching "size of the problem" Anger as the last stop on a road that started much earlier The one moment she never tries to teach a feelings word Howie's Owies, the JJ doll, and a set of Sonic visuals Why one deep model beats 50 labels The session where she modeled "I'm sick," and the text from a mom later that week "Dinner, dinner, dinner time" and twenty animal crackers  

SIGN UP FOR GOALS WEEK, OUR LIVE BOOTCAMP HERE!   A lot of SLPs are using AI to help write goals. Some of us chose it, some of us had a district choose for us, and some of us just opened our documentation software one day and there it was. So let's say it out loud and talk about what actually matters. Nicole recorded this one with 20 minutes before her next meeting (spoiler alert: she went two minutes over). She shares where she stands on AI and why she ended up in the middle, the three big reasons so many of us reach for it at goal writing time, and a question from a special education professor's blog post that she thinks we should all be asking about every sentence we write about a child. WHAT YOU'LL HEAR INSIDE THIS EPISODE Why this episode is not about whether AI is good or bad Nicole's stance: not an AI purist, not fully anti-AI either What it's like for an all-or-nothing brain to live in the middle A business mastermind full of goat milk soap makers (it's relevant, promise) The three reasons so many of us use AI for goal writing The hours she used to spend staring at a blinking cursor for one goal Why AI goals can sound perfect and still miss the point, or miss IDEA The question underneath David Bateman's list: can I stand behind this sentence about this child? Why Aligned Practice doesn't require AI at all   Here's the blog post mentioned in this episode: https://spedlawblog.com/2026/06/23/using-artificial-intelligence-ai-to-assist-in-writing-iep-goals/    

REGISTER FOR GOALS WEEK!! You read the goal out loud. The parent nods. "Yep, that sounds good." And on to the next one.  But were they agreeing... or did nobody ever tell them they get a say? In this episode Nicole looks at a question most of us spend almost no time on: who actually decides what we work on? She shares a small study of occupational therapists that held up an uncomfortable mirror, a story about a script she couldn't decode (and a mom who could), and an admission about parent coaching that a lot of us will recognize. Then she gets practical about bringing families in before the goal is written, and what to do when the questionnaire never comes back.

JOIN THE WAITLIST FOR DITCH DOCUMENTATION DREAD BOOTCAMP HERE! It is eight o'clock at night, you have multiple IEPs due, and you are somewhere on page five of Google searching communication goals for autistic students. Everything coming up is either the exact kind of goal you are trying to get away from, or it is so vague you already know it will never fit. Rumor has it we have all been here. This episode is Nicole being honest about something that brought her shame for years: she used to write goals she did not believe in, and goals she sometimes did not even understand. She traces where that came from, why the format most of us use has no clear origin, and what has to happen before you can write a goal worth writing.   Fair warning, she gets a little fired up about 80% accuracy. She always does.   WHAT YOU'LL HEAR INSIDE THIS EPISODE   - The confession she says is hard to make out loud, and why she is making it anyway - The goal with four competing numbers in it, and what it was actually measuring - Why she overthought goals until she was right back at square one, and what that actually came from - What her first job taught her about writing goals you are allowed to change - The evaluation tools that were never built to show how an autistic child communicates - What grad school actually covered, and the one thing it never covered at all - How most of us really learned to write goals, and why that should worry us - What the research says about goals that are not appropriate for the child - Why communication functions grow together instead of stacking on each other - The scissors example, and why communication is not a task - Who decides when a child gets to communicate, and why "opportunities" answers that question badly - The bubbles, the lid going back on, and asking again and again for the data - Why 80% accuracy still annoys her, thirteen years in - What she is teaching at the live bootcamp in October  

There's a version of this job where you never say "I don't know." Where you excuse yourself, look it up on your phone, and come back like you had it the whole time. A professor I admired (and still do, genuinely) told my grad school class to do exactly that before our first practicums. At the time I thought, well, if that's what I have to do, I guess I'll do it. Thirteen years later, I think it's the worst advice I've ever heard. This came to me on a whim while I was working on something else. No script, no notes. Just me thinking out loud about why perfectionism runs through our whole field. A lot of us have been taught that we can't be anything less than perfect. So we cling to control, because we don't want anyone to know what we don't know. And then we don't try. We don't take the one small step toward child-led speech therapy, because we can't do the whole thing perfectly yet. I get into the pickleball invitation I turned down, the day I read a post about research and landed back in grad school shame, and what trying to be a perfect clinician cost me. This one is as much for me as it is for you. TIMESTAMPS Part one 04:07 No script, no notes, and the podcast I was listening to in the car that started all of this 06:31 Perfectionism as a coping mechanism, and where imposter syndrome fits 08:56 The all or nothing mentality, and what it costs us as a field 11:18 The advice my grad school professor gave us right before our first practicums 15:59 The pickleball invitation, and why I won't do something I might be bad at 20:49 Thirteen years later: what trying to be a perfect clinician actually cost me Part two (the recording picks back up here, four days later, after my kids came barging in) 02:27 The post about research, the shame that followed, and the kind of content creator I want to be 11:48 What I will and won't go back and learn, and why I'm okay drawing that line CALL TO ACTION If this one landed for you, would you leave a review wherever you listen? It would mean the world to me!

We're back, friends! In this episode, Nicole Casey explores the Communication Bill of Rights, focusing on rights five through eight, and discusses how supporting autistic children requires team effort and consistent application across settings.  Keywords: Communication Rights, Autism Support, AAC, Inclusive Education, Neuroaffirming Practices Takeaways: Supporting rights five through eight often requires team effort and ongoing communication. Consistent use of AAC devices across settings is crucial for participation. Honoring a child's right to refuse or ask for things builds trust and safety. Proactively communicating about routines and objects helps reduce dysregulation. Supporting social interactions and relationships enhances quality of life.    

GET YOUR FREE TICKET TO THE CHILD-LED AUTISM SUMMIT HERE!! HAPPENING AUGUST 10-13 ONLINE. 40+ NEUROAFFIRMING PRESENTERS, AUTISTIC ADULTS, AND AAC USERS. DON'T MISS IT! Episode summary A few years ago, Nicole worked with a little boy who loved the Charmin Ultra Soft commercial and Downy Unstoppables, and instead of treating those interests as rewards to earn, she let them lead the session. What started as sitting at the computer watching videos grew into expanded language, a homemade book, and one of the purest pictures of inclusion she has ever seen. This episode is about why deep interests are not a distraction from the work. They are the work. Key topics with approximate timestamps 05:30 Why this episode is about using deep interests to build communication, not dangling them as a carrot. 06:00 Meet the child: a deep love of the Charmin Ultra Soft commercial and Downy Unstoppables. 07:47 We do not get to decide if a child's interest is cool enough or normal enough. 08:30 Working with a gestalt language processor, modeling language and following his lead at the computer. 10:07 The routine that kept growing, and why only offering a few adult-chosen options misses the magic. 11:30 Two years later: descriptive words, longer sentences, and a mom who celebrated every interest. 12:33 Why we do this for neurotypical kids (hello, monster truck era) but not always for autistic kids. 14:55 The first time he said "go down," and why we have been conditioned to call sessions like this lazy. 16:00 Printing pictures and making a simple book he could call his own. 18:00 The book becomes his bedtime story, read aloud to his brothers. 19:18 He carries the book to school and cannot wait to show his teacher. 20:00 The Target text: a video of him reading his book to his whole class. 21:30 The most real picture of inclusion, centering the autistic child, not our systems. 23:00 Stop overcomplicating it: let the interest lead, hold your boundaries, trust the process. 23:54 Deep interests at the Child-Led Autism Summit and how to join. Resources and links mentioned The Child-Led Autism Summit, a free virtual event for SLPs, OTs, teachers, and autism support professionals. Get on the wait list or register at childled.org. YouTube and Google Images as tools for finding a child's preferred videos and pictures. Blank story books (a dollar store find) for making a child-authored book. The Child-Led Collective: childled.org/collective. About Nicole Nicole Casey is a speech-language pathologist and the voice behind The Child-Led SLP. She helps SLPs, OTs, special educators, and autism support professionals move from compliance-based habits to child-led, neuroaffirming practice through real-world frameworks, ready-to-use resources, and a community that gets it. She teaches from what she has learned in real sessions with real kids, and she believes connection is the prerequisite for progress, not something a child earns after they comply.