Why You Feel Like You Can Never Turn Your Brain Off as a Lawyer

Lawyers often describe feeling like they can never fully turn their brains off. Even during downtime, there’s a sense of waiting for the next email, the next call, or the next fire to put out. It’s not simply overthinking. It’s the body staying on alert, a nervous system trained to expect that something could go wrong at any time.Sarah explains why this constant state of vigilance makes sense, why it’s not a personal failing, and what it means for lawyers trying to find relief from the pressure.Anchored: How to Befriend Your Nervous System Using Polyvagal Theory by Deb DanaSee show notes at formerlawyer.com/286

The first year after leaving law is a strange mix of freedom and fatigue. There is relief in stepping away from billable hours, but the exhaustion runs deeper than expected. Sarah Cottrell hears it constantly from clients. They imagined a clean break. Instead, it feels like living in a body still bracing for impact.At first there’s quiet. The noise of practice fades, and breathing feels easier. Then comes the question no one expects. What now? For years the answer was always clear. Get through the case. Close the deal. Survive the week. Outside that system, there’s no obvious next step, only space that feels both exciting and uncertain.Sarah describes the first year as less about reinvention and more about recovery. It’s about realizing how much the profession shaped your sense of worth and how long it takes to stop living like every moment has to be optimized.See show notes at formerlawyer.com/285

Ever feel trapped in the cycle where one week you swear you have to get out of law, and the next you convince yourself it isn’t so bad? That back-and-forth isn’t clarity, it’s burnout and fear of judgment keeping you stuck. In this episode, Sarah Cottrell breaks down how to recognize the outrage complacency cycle and what it takes to finally step out of it. Join Sarah for a free live masterclass on October 10, Five Simple Steps to Identify a Career You Actually Like.Sign up at formerlawyer.com/masterclass.See show notes at formerlawyer.com/284

Many lawyers, when they stop and reflect, realize that one of the reasons they went to law school was to impress other people. Prestige mattered. But the moment they name it, the shame sets in — “That was a bad reason. I shouldn’t care what others think.” Sarah Cottrell pushes back on that belief, reminding lawyers that caring about opinions is normal and human. In this episode, she shares how caring becomes a problem only when it outweighs your own needs, especially if you’re considering leaving the law. You’ll hear how to notice when you’ve given outside voices too much power, how to decide whose opinions really matter, and why therapy can help you find the right balance. If guilt or fear of judgment has been keeping you stuck, this conversation will help you put those concerns in perspective.See show notes at formerlawyer.com/283

The Former Lawyer framework has recently received a glow-up, and this podcast episode covers all the fun updates. Sarah has a few things that stuck out to her and would be the most helpful to anyone considering becoming a former lawyer. She covers those items in this episode to highlight them for all the podcast listeners considering joining.Reserve your seat to learn The Simple 5-Step Framework To Identify An Alternative Career (That You Actually Like!) on October 10th.See show notes at formerlawyer.com/241

You’ve been in therapy. You’ve talked through your career. You understand, logically, that your boss’s mood isn’t your responsibility, that your worth isn’t measured by productivity, and that burnout doesn’t mean you’re broken. And yet… you’re still panicking every time Outlook pings. You’re still second-guessing every boundary. You’re still bracing for impact.For many lawyers, this is the point where talk therapy hits a wall. You’ve intellectually processed the stress, but your body hasn’t caught up. That disconnect between what you know and how you feel isn’t a failure. It’s a signal.See show notes at formerlawyer.com/282

Today’s podcast episode is an important reminder every lawyer needs to hear. Sarah reminds listeners that nothing about your job is as important as you and your emotional, mental, and physical health. For lawyers, it’s easy to feel their value as human beings is basically in job performance. See show notes at formerlawyer.com/229

2025 is more than halfway through, and if you told yourself this was the year you’d leave practice, this is your check-in. September is basically here, which means four months left in the year. That’s still plenty of time to make progress. And honestly, the start of fall always feels like a reset — school year vibes, even for those of us who haven’t been in school for decades. So if you haven’t taken steps yet, you haven’t missed your chance.See show notes at formerlawyer.com/281

The question comes up constantly - in podcast interviews, on Collab group calls, and in emails from listeners. "What if the grass isn't greener on the other side?"It's tied to this idea that maybe being miserable at work is just what it means to be an adult with a job. Maybe every workplace is toxic. Maybe no one really likes what they do. You'll even hear people outside the law say things like "Well, no one likes their job."There's something almost protective about believing this. If you don't believe it will be better elsewhere, it's easier to keep doing the thing you're doing, even if the thing that you're doing is painful and not great for your mental and physical and emotional well-being.But after six years of interviewing former lawyers, I can tell you the grass really is greener.See show notes at formerlawyer.com/280

There's a partner at your firm. Everyone knows about them. Multiple people have quit working for them. Multiple people have gone out on mental health leave. When people talk about this partner, they use phrases like "difficult" or "has sharp elbows."If you listen to Sarah's episode about the no-asshole rule, you know that “has sharp elbows” generally means they're abusive. But somehow, despite the clear pattern of destruction in their wake, you're supposed to act like this is normal. Like maybe you'll be different.This is not normal. This is nuts.See show notes at formerlawyer.com/279