Ep 97: A Support Versus a Crutch

Dr. Dodd states that, “This episode is provided, intended to give hope to those who have suffered marital division, unfaithfulness, and heartache. I want to introduce to you a couple that I have known, intimately well over the last 1 ½+ years…Chad and Ashley. They are here to share, to have a conversation about, their journey of real marital pain and ultimately God’s faithfulness in their healing.”

Hey…this is Dr. Dodd and I welcome you to the Dr. Dodd Podcast. In this episode, the parents of Josh Neuman will share the story of the tragic loss of their 22-year-old son, February 2022. Please allow me to introduce to you Chris and Kristin Neuman. They share who Josh was, the accident, their journey of grieving, and the “Josh Neuman Foundation.

“Listen…I’m all about supporting each other! But when does it become unhealthy? When is it too much?” In this episode, Dr. Dodd talks about the important difference between a healthy support and an unhealthy emotional crutch. 

It's one of the most common and challenging, emotional topics we encounter as mental health professionals. In some theological circles, it is often described as wrong and sinful…no matter the circumstances. This podcast is an effort by Dr. Dodd, to shed some light on the matter of being angry, it’s impact on the individual, how it can affect relationships, as well as potentially… your walk with God.

Dr. Dodd states that, “One of the most common point or cause for conflict/arguments in relationships is, quite simply, when one spouse doesn’t feel like their needs are important to their spouse. They complain that they don’t feel any real connection to/with their spouse. Too often, it seems that we take better care of our homes, our cars, etc. than we do the needs of our spouse or our marriage.” In this episode, Dr. Dodd shares the importance of prioritizing your marriage, your spouse (including in a blended family), the reasons why it often doesn’t occur, and suggestions and how to make it a reality.

A gentleman recently asked, “Dr. Dodd…at what point does personal responsibility kick in?” Another individual stated, “It seems that no one wants to answer to anyone…we are so quick to blame everything or everyone else.” In talking to still another individual on this very subject, he said… “If I allow myself to be accountable, that’s going to put me in a very vulnerable position. Why should I do that? I’m very private.” In this episode, Dr. Dodd discusses the idea of being accountable…to ourselves (i.e., holding ourselves accountable), accountable to others, and ultimately accountable to God. The importance of being accountable and how to live successfully, as a result. He states, “Accountability is about living in integrity. Your thoughts, words, and actions are consistent with one another and in alignment.”

Several recent studies have shown that almost half of Americans are lonely. Ironically, while we are more connected through social media, etc., we are experiencing loneliness at higher degrees. Feeling lonely is a normal, human experience. We’ve all experienced the situation of feeling alone/lonely, when you’re by yourself or even in a room full of people. Feeling very disconnected from everyone or feeling like no one understands you. Join Dr. Dodd as he provides several possible factors that contribute to feeling alone and lonely, as well some very practical suggestions on how to address them.

“Hey…what’s the problem? You have a guilty conscience?” “You know what you did…your conscience bothering you?” “You know what your problem is…you have no conscience at all! Nothing seems to bother you!” “I don’t know what the big deal is…my conscience is clear!” In this episode, Dr. Dodd talks about a subject that has been written about, studied, and discussed for most of recorded history is…the human conscience. From the perspective of religions, various philosophers, social scientists, and psychologists, it has been defined and described in a multitude of different ways. He states that “the conscience gives us the ability to evaluate our own thoughts and desires, to discern what is right or wrong, and to distinguish between what is good and what is best. When we talk about the conscience, we are often referring to reflection about ourselves as moral persons and about our moral conduct. It is one of the ways God speaks to us.”

Waiting at a cash register, in a traffic jam, at the doctor’s office, at the DMV, at the bus station/train station/airport. We wait and wait. And as we wait…there are often the expectations of immediate results, immediate gratification, and what Dr. Dodd calls a “drive-thru” mindset and attitude. This is often accompanied by a sense of entitlement…that we are entitled to be served first, to get an immediate response, to get the results…right now. Frustration, boredom, anxiety, and anger… too often occur, when an individual is told…wait. In this episode, Dr. Dodd helps the listener discover the truth of “good things happen to those who wait.” He provides helpful suggestions on how to wait successfully, as well as several of the triggers/causes for becoming impatient. Of course, he looks at what God’s Word has to say, about waiting patiently.

While there are multiple types of identities (e.g., cultural, professional, ethnic and national, religious, gender, etc.) … in this episode Dr. Dodd talks about personal identity. He states, “It’s the concept you develop about yourself, that evolves over the course of your life. It consists of self-definitions…in terms of your unique and idiosyncratic characteristics. Your abilities, likes and dislikes, your personality traits, and what motivates you, can contribute to your unique identity as a person.”   So why is this question, “Who Am I” …so important?? It’s critical in helping us make life choices. Knowing what comes from within us, from within ourselves, versus what comes from everyone else. It is vital in helping us live life authentically.