Is My Co-Parent a Narcissist? Warning Signs, Boundaries & How to Protect Your Kids

🎧 Listen to this episode if… You constantly walk away from conversations with your ex feeling drained, confused, or second-guessing yourself. Co-parenting feels more like a battleground than teamwork. You suspect your ex might be narcissistic or manipulative, but you’re not sure what to do about it. You want to learn how to protect your children emotionally while staying calm and in control. You’re tired of being baited into fights and want tools to respond, not react. ⚠️ Trigger Warning: This episode discusses family violence, coercive control, and trauma recovery. 📌 Disclaimer: This episode is for general information and education only. Please seek your own legal, psychological, or medical support for your specific circumstances.  📑 Free Disclosure Checklist https://www.thedivorcecourse.com.au/disclosurechecklist 💻 The Divorce Course Free Resources https://www.thedivorcecourse.com.au What You’ll Learn: Is My Co-Parent a Narcissist? Warning Signs, Boundaries & How to Protect Your Kids 💔 Recognising the Signs: Mia explains how narcissistic or high-conflict co-parents reveal themselves — through blame-shifting, entitlement, image obsession, and control. ⚖️ The Court Reality Check: Lyn shares why using the word “narcissist” in court can backfire — and how to instead describe their behaviours (the “ingredients” rather than “the cake”). 🧱 Setting Boundaries That Stick: How to stop being pulled into chaos, manage constant conflicts, and accept “who you’re dealing with” so you can regain power. 🧒 Protecting the Kids: Red flags to watch for in how your ex uses or manipulates the children — and how to model calm, consistent parenting when they don’t. 💬 Parenting Teenagers of Narcissistic Exes: Mia and Lyn dive into the tricky years — when kids start echoing their narcissistic parent’s behaviour — and how to hold firm without turning into your ex. 💪 Your Healing & Hope: Why the most powerful move isn’t “winning” against your ex — it’s rebuilding your self-trust, removing their emotional “buttons,” and staying in your own lane.   🔗 Guest Expert Mia from Grey Rock Consulting — https://www.greyrockconsulting.com.au/ Lawyer, founder, and Australia’s first certified Master High Conflict Negotiation Coach (trained by Rebecca Zung). Mia helps clients and lawyers navigate high-conflict personalities with strategy, clarity, and self-preservation.     ⏱️ Episode Timeline –  00:00 — Intro: Are You Co-Parenting with a Narcissist? Signs to Watch For 00:34 — Meet Mia from Grey Rock Consulting: Expert in Narcissists & High-Conflict Exes 02:11 — What Narcissistic Co-Parenting Really Looks Like (and Why It’s So Draining) 13:51 — How Narcissistic Co-Parenting Affects Kids Emotionally and Psychologically 18:25 — Setting Boundaries with a Narcissist: Staying Calm & In Control 21:49 — What to Include (and Avoid) in Parenting Orders or Plans 26:22 — Custody Chaos: When Your Narcissistic Ex Twists the Rules 26:45 — Unexpected Changes & Power Plays: How to Handle Parenting Plan Disputes 27:32 — Dealing with Difficult Co-Parents Who Refuse to Cooperate 29:12 — Emotional Recovery: Healing After Narcissistic Abuse 29:53 — When to Push Back (and When to Let It Go) in Co-Parenting Conflicts 35:08 — Teenagers & Narcissistic Parents: What to Do When Kids Mirror the Ex 37:38 — Maintaining Boundaries, Consistency & Emotional Safety at Home 40:39 — Becoming the Positive Role Model Your Kids Need 43:22 — Focusing on You: Self-Growth, Strength & Rebuilding Confidence 46:44 — Where to Get Help: Support, Counselling & Co-Parenting Resources 49:15 — Final Thoughts: Finding Freedom from a Narcissistic Co-Parent   Related Episodes: Is it emotional abuse?  https://open.spotify.com/episode/2bSCQ3JdcU4xxW7D4LJUxG?si=VV8mR7aYS7uJYstTMYwZvg Post Divorce Glow Up https://open.spotify.com/episode/7JoSZEPWiMgM1N1G1C6WSU?si=HDBpOPXqTnmzzrIudA16tQ Divorcing an abuser https://open.spotify.com/episode/21TpYbC15VJt9lnb82Ub13?si=lonuOpx8Q22ZRrKKbArc0g 🎙️ Mediation or Manipulation? https://open.spotify.com/episode/4P1DjaMtXTq2sbel4qywew 🎙️ The Narcissist Playbook https://open.spotify.com/episode/00kTon70LllVE97X8zn9vK   🚨 Support Services (Australia): 1800 RESPECT – Family Violence Support Lifeline 13 11 14 – Crisis Support Police – Call 000 if you are in danger ⚠️ Trigger Warning: This episode discusses family violence, coercive control, and situations that may feel unsafe. 📌 Legal Disclaimer: This episode is for general information only and is not legal advice. Please seek your own legal support for your specific circumstances.  

🎧 Listen to this episode if… 💔 You’ve left an abusive relationship but still feel stuck, numb, or confused. 🧠 You’re trying to understand why you still feel controlled, scared, or exhausted. 💬 You want to know what healing actually looks like and how long it takes. 💪 You’re ready to start finding yourself again after years of walking on eggshells. 🌸 You want to rebuild your confidence, identity, and hope for the future. 💫 You just need to hear that full recovery is possible ⚠️ Trigger Warning: This episode discusses family violence, coercive control, and trauma recovery. 📌 Disclaimer: This episode is for general information and education only. Please seek your own legal, psychological, or medical support for your specific circumstances. Leaving an abusive relationship doesn’t mean the pain or confusion stops overnight. In this heartfelt episode, Laura and Lyn are joined by clinical psychologist Krazi Kirova, who specialises in trauma recovery and emotional abuse. Together, they explore what happens after you leave  the emotional crash, the exhaustion, and eventually, the glow-up. You’ll learn what the research says about post-separation abuse, why healing takes time, and the eight key stages of recovery every survivor eventually moves through. Krazi shares powerful, evidence-based insights on rebuilding safety, identity, and connection  and why the “post-divorce glow-up” you see online is about so much more than appearance. If you’re in that stage where you feel broken, tired, and unsure of who you are  this episode is for you. It’s about hope, self-reclamation, and the small steps that slowly lead to peace, power, and joy again. ⏱️ Episode Timeline – The Post-Divorce Glow-Up: Healing After Abuse 00:00 – Introduction: Leaving abuse and why the pain doesn’t stop overnight 01:00 – Support reminder: Lifeline, 1800 RESPECT, and why safety comes first 02:00 – What keeps you stuck after leaving an abusive partner 03:00 – Why recovery can’t begin until you feel physically and emotionally safe 05:00 – The psychological “hurricane” of separation — and why it gets worse before it gets better 07:00 – Understanding post-separation abuse and coercive control 09:00 – How predictability helps survivors regain power and calm 11:00 – How courts are improving in recognising coercive control and trauma 12:00 – The physical and emotional depletion from years of abuse 13:00 – The “post-divorce glow-up” — and why your energy eventually returns 17:00 – How long does it really take to heal after abuse? 18:00 – What research says about recovery — it’s not linear 19:00 – The 8 key tasks for healing and recovery 20:00 – Step 1: Establishing safety — physical, emotional, and financial 22:00 – Step 2: Educating yourself and re-examining the relationship 25:00 – Step 3: Rebuilding identity — remembering who you are 29:00 – Step 4: Rebuilding social connections and support networks 32:00 – Step 5: Being selective about who you let in — healthy relationships only 33:00 – Step 6: Taking time before dating again 35:00 – Step 7: Embracing freedom, autonomy, and decision-making 38:00 – Step 8: Accepting recovery as a process — patience and self-kindness 42:00 – Courts and trauma-informed change in the family law system 44:00 – Step 9: Healing mentally and physically — reconnecting with your body 46:00 – The power of community, spirituality, and belonging in recovery 47:00 – Final reflections: “It’s a journey — and you are getting somewhere.” Resources Mentioned: 🧩 Kirova Psychology – Personal Resources https://kirovapsychology.com.au/personal-resources/  📑 Free Disclosure Checklist https://www.thedivorcecourse.com.au/disclosurechecklist 💻 The Divorce Course Free Resources https://www.thedivorcecourse.com.au Related Episodes: 🎙️ Is It Emotional Abuse? https://open.spotify.com/episode/3Vjl0I9xXUQruoAQKLVh11 Is it emotional abuse?  https://open.spotify.com/episode/2bSCQ3JdcU4xxW7D4LJUxG?si=VV8mR7aYS7uJYstTMYwZvg   Divorcing an abuser https://open.spotify.com/episode/21TpYbC15VJt9lnb82Ub13?si=lonuOpx8Q22ZRrKKbArc0g 🎙️ Mediation or Manipulation? https://open.spotify.com/episode/4P1DjaMtXTq2sbel4qywew  🎙️ When Mediation Goes Wrong (And What You Can Do Next) https://open.spotify.com/episode/4WQhunLQVtWn02k5FT7Mpv 🎙️ The Narcissist Playbook https://open.spotify.com/episode/00kTon70LllVE97X8zn9vK   🚨 Support Services (Australia): 1800 RESPECT – Family Violence Support Lifeline 13 11 14 – Crisis Support Police – Call 000 if you are in danger ⚠️ Trigger Warning: This episode discusses family violence, coercive control, and situations that may feel unsafe. 📌 Legal Disclaimer: This episode is for general information only and is not legal advice. Please seek your own legal support for your specific circumstances.

🎧 Listen to this episode if… 💬 You’ve got mediation coming up and don’t know where to start. 😰 You’re feeling stressed or unprepared to face your ex about custody or property. 📑 You want to know what to bring and how to prepare your documents. ⚖️ You need tips for negotiating calmly and confidently. 🚩 You’re dealing with a high-conflict or manipulative ex. 💸 You want to avoid costly mistakes and stay out of family court. 🧠 You just want to feel ready and in control on the day. ⚠️ Trigger Warning: This episode discusses family violence, coercive control, and situations that may feel unsafe. 📌 Legal Disclaimer: This episode is for general information only and is not legal advice. Please seek your own legal support for your specific circumstances. You’re about to head into mediation and the very thought of it makes your palms sweat. Maybe someone just mentioned “mediation” and now you’re spiraling — wondering what to say, what to bring, and how to keep calm. This episode is for you if you want to feel confident, organised, and prepared (instead of panicked) before you sit down at that mediation table. Mum ( a family lawyer with over 35 years experience) and I walk you through the Top 5 things you need to do before mediation — practical, emotional, and strategic prep that will make a huge difference on the day. These aren’t just lawyer tips — they’re the real-world insights we’ve seen help countless people get through mediation feeling calmer, clearer, and more in control. We’ll talk about what to do if your ex is high-conflict, avoidant, manipulative, or genuinely amicable; how to prepare your documents and disclosure; and why it’s so important to have a plan for both success and failure. Plus, we touch on how to handle mediation safely if there’s been family violence Free Disclosure Checklist https://www.thedivorcecourse.com.au/disclosurechecklist ⏱️ Episode Timeline – Mediation Preparation Tips 00:00 – What Is Mediation in Family Law? A clear introduction to how mediation works in divorce and separation cases. 01:24 – Meet the Hosts: Family Law and Divorce Experts Get to know your guides as they break down practical mediation strategies. 01:44 – Listener Stories and Divorce Mediation Experiences Real listener insights and why mediation can be both powerful and stressful. 03:18 – Understanding the Mediation Process in Divorce What happens during family law mediation — and how to get the best outcome. 05:17 – How to Prepare for Mediation: Know What You Want (and Don’t Want) Tips for identifying your priorities before stepping into the room. 14:27 – Creating Your Divorce Negotiation Plan Learn how to build a negotiation strategy based on your goals and your ex’s personality type. 23:06 – What Documents to Bring to Mediation Essential paperwork and evidence to prepare for property or parenting mediation. 24:09 – Court-Ordered Mediation and Section 60I Certificates Explained What happens if mediation is required before going to court. 27:24 – How to Write a Confidential Case Outline for Mediation Preparing your case outline to stay focused and calm. 28:28 – Preparing for Financial Disclosure in Mediation How to gather, label, and present financial documents effectively. 33:30 – Planning for Mediation Outcomes (Success or Failure) What to do if mediation works — or doesn’t. 41:59 – Mediation and Family Violence: How to Stay Safe When to use shuttle mediation, safety plans, or legal support. 45:13 – The Top 5 Tips to Prepare for Family Law Mediation Our biggest takeaways to help you walk in calm and confident. 48:41 – Final Thoughts, Resources, and Next Steps How to keep moving forward after mediation — whatever the outcome.   Resources Central Practice Directions https://www.fcfcoa.gov.au/fl/pd/fam-cpd Free Disclosure Checklist https://www.thedivorcecourse.com.au/disclosurechecklist Episode Links MEDIATION OR MANIPULATION https://open.spotify.com/episode/4P1DjaMtXTq2sbel4qywew?si=t8swCVk2SoG6xaqE9I-D9Q   Can you really mediate with a narcissist https://open.spotify.com/episode/3Vjl0I9xXUQruoAQKLVh11?si=MlD8Ku1FS02PjjLjjnlokw   Do you need a lawyer for mediation? https://open.spotify.com/episode/37Zn59zn6sVlBIU0kePY7K?si=8Ih-0c5cRLuCKOPbzVVrqw   When Mediation goes wrong and what you can do next https://open.spotify.com/episode/4WQhunLQVtWn02k5FT7Mpv?si=h9rJo77PR3qG7_YV9obAuQ   What happens after mediation - what if you change your mind https://open.spotify.com/episode/00kTon70LllVE97X8zn9vK?si=EmjV30k1SQWp7IcqX9Yz4Q   🚨 Support Services: 1800 RESPECT (Family Violence Support – Australia) Lifeline: 13 11 14 (Crisis Support – Australia) ⚠️ Trigger Warning: This episode discusses family violence, coercive control, and situations that may feel unsafe. 📌 Legal Disclaimer: This episode is for general information only and is not legal advice. Please seek your own legal support for your specific circumstances.  

Listen to This Episode If You… 🏠 Have been told divorce property settlements are always 50/50 🤔 Want to understand how contributions (financial and non-financial) are weighed ⚖️ Are trying to figure out how your future needs affect your share 💰 Suspect your ex has wasted or hidden money and want to know what that means 📝 Need to know whether you can work out percentages yourself or need a lawyer 🧾 Are preparing for mediation or property negotiations and want strategies to stay strong 👶 Want to know how parenting responsibilities and children’s needs affect percentages Episode Summary Property settlements in divorce aren’t as simple as “split it down the middle.” In this episode, Laura and her mum Lyn (a seasoned family lawyer) unpack the myths and realities of percentages in property settlement. They break down how the Family Court in Australia actually calculates shares based on contributions, circumstances, and future needs — and why different lawyers might give you slightly different numbers. You’ll also learn why percentages aren’t always the best way to negotiate, and why focusing on dollar amounts and assets can be more effective. If you’re heading into mediation, dealing with a high-conflict ex, or just trying to understand what’s “fair,” this episode gives you some clarity into the confusing word of property settlements. ⚠️ Trigger Warning: This episode discusses family violence, coercive control, and financial abuse. 📌 Legal Disclaimer: This podcast is for general information only. It is not legal advice. Always seek independent legal advice about your situation. ⏱️ Episode Timeline – Divorce Property Settlements Explained 00:00 – What is a Divorce Property Settlement and How Does It Work in Australia? 00:09 – How Are Percentages Calculated in Divorce Property Settlements? 01:08 – Legal Disclaimer: Why You Must Get Independent Legal Advice in Divorce 02:02 – What Are the Basics of Property Division in Australian Family Law? 02:57 – What Does the Court Consider When Dividing Property After Divorce? 04:58 – Key Factors That Affect Your Property Settlement Percentage 17:21 – Divorce Case Study: What We Can Learn from Shaman 2025 21:59 – How Do Recent Legal Changes Affect Divorce Property Settlements? 24:06 – Practical Tips and Resources for Divorce Property Negotiations 25:55 – What Evidence Do You Need for Court in a Property Settlement? 26:17 – Mediation vs Negotiation: Which Works Best in the Property Division? 29:00 – How to Work Out Percentages in a Divorce Property Settlement 32:14 – Common Mistakes to Avoid in Divorce Property Division 38:10 – What Case Law and Legal Precedents Say About Divorce Property Splits 47:05 – Final Thoughts: How to Protect Yourself in a Property Settlement Resources & Links 📥 Download the Separation Under One Roof Checklist – available free to newsletter subscribers. Shamon & Shamon [2025] FedCFamC1A 150 (8 September 2025) https://www.austlii.edu.au/cgi-bin/viewdoc/au/cases/cth/FedCFamC1A/2025/150.html Section 79 of the Family Law Act https://classic.austlii.edu.au/au/legis/cth/consol_act/fla1975114/s79.html Dajani & Dajani [2025] FedCFamC1A 28 (26 February 2025) https://www.austlii.edu.au/cgi-bin/viewdoc/au/cases/cth/FedCFamC1A/2025/28.html 🚨 Support Services: 1800 RESPECT (Family Violence Support – Australia) Lifeline: 13 11 14 (Crisis Support – Australia) 🎧 Related Episodes: Wastage in Divorce https://open.spotify.com/episode/0wKQog5jOCTqcCT0QowM2H?si=eoHt8lGRR2ualABIbxn4yw Super Split Myths https://open.spotify.com/episode/3JfL6ph18XP3ZI78UGWwqV?si=Y8m2eXJTQO-mGlY7rJSOjA The pitfalls of percentage negotiations https://open.spotify.com/episode/6bxTgrdymCeW16Q7z5njUe?si=CvJts4NJQTCym7aVljaprw Divorce Decisions : Settling vs Court https://open.spotify.com/episode/5CzRfpKm6WjRhMecZqGZPy?si=Fl-B4jxfSeinxcgSDBI_kg 🔑 Key Topics Discussed Why property settlements are not automatically 50/50 How financial and non-financial contributions are considered The role of future and current circumstances under the Family Law Act How courts now deal with wastage and hidden assets Why lawyers may calculate percentages differently The risks of negotiating in percentages instead of dollars and assets Tips for handling high-conflict exes in property settlement discussions  

🎧 Listen to This Episode If You… ✨ Are in the middle of property and custody negotiations ⚖️ Have an ex who’s threatened to push for more custody unless you agree to property terms 🏡 Want to understand how family courts consider housing and children’s needs in property settlement 😟 Are worried about being pressured or manipulated during mediation 💡 Want practical strategies to protect your kids’ best interests and your financial future   ⚠️ Trigger Warning: This episode discusses family violence, coercive control, and situations that may feel unsafe. 📌 Legal Disclaimer: This episode is for general information only and is not legal advice. Please seek your own legal support for your specific circumstances. The Hidden Connection: Custody Battles & Property Splits Custody and property are supposed to be separate issues in divorce — but are they really? In this powerful episode, we discuss the hidden connection between parenting arrangements and property settlement that many people don’t realize until it’s too late. We discuss how the Australian Family Court FCFCOA actually factors in who the primary carer is, the housing needs of children, and why having custody can impact the percentage you receive in a property split. More importantly, we explore what happens when your ex tries to use the kids as bargaining chips — and some strategies you can use to protect yourself and your children. If you’ve ever felt pressured to trade property for custody or worried that your ex is using threats of “50/50 care” to get more of the financial pool, this episode is for you. ⏱️ Episode Timeline – What We Discuss: [00:00] Introduction: Custody and Property – The Hidden Connection in Divorce [01:31] Do Custody Arrangements Impact Property Settlement in Family Law? [03:36] Why Housing Needs of Children Affect Property Division [06:50] Can You Keep the Family Home for the Kids After Divorce? [08:28] When Exes Use Custody as a Bargaining Chip in Property Negotiations [11:00] What to Do if Your Ex Threatens 50/50 Custody to Get More Property [13:11] Why Judges Care About Evidence, Chronologies, and Child-Focused Behavior [16:07] Spotting Red Flags: Custody Demands Tied to Property or Child Support [21:00] How Lawyers and Mediators Handle Custody-Property Tradeoffs [25:38] When Exes Suddenly ‘Step Up’ Parenting for Strategic Reasons [28:12] Negotiation Strategies: Staying Child-Focused While Protecting Property [31:32] Best Interests of the Child: What Section 60CC of the Family Law Act Really Says [39:00] Avoidant vs High-Conflict Exes: How Property Battles Play Out Differently [44:00] Why Documentation and Chronologies Are Your Best Defense [46:00] Final Thoughts: Staying Child-Focused and Resilient Through Divorce Resources & Links 🚨 Support Services: 1800 RESPECT (Family Violence Support – Australia) Lifeline: 13 11 14 (Crisis Support – Australia) 🎧 Related Episodes: Primary Carer Episode https://open.spotify.com/episode/6oZAEkj18NEcUfJPXP0FOT?si=9rZ-jNzwQfSYl0naMgUMnA Section 60cc Best Interests of the Children https://classic.austlii.edu.au/au/legis/cth/consol_act/fla1975114/s60cc.html   Mediation or Manipulation https://open.spotify.com/episode/4P1DjaMtXTq2sbel4qywew?si=ao8KrQ4PTZuusYrkmMZGUw ⚠️ Trigger Warning: This episode discusses family violence, coercive control, and situations that may feel unsafe. 📌 Legal Disclaimer: This episode is for general information only and is not legal advice. Please seek your own legal support for your specific circumstances.

🎧 Listen to This Episode If You… You’re separated but can’t afford to move out of the family home. You’re afraid leaving means you’ll lose your rights to the house. Your ex refuses to cooperate, acknowledge the separation, or leave. You’re experiencing coercive control or financial abuse after separation.   Episode Summary Separation is hard enough — but what happens when you and your ex are still living under the same roof? For many, moving out simply isn’t an option: finances are tight, safety is uncertain, and myths about “losing the house” keep people trapped in toxic or unsafe environments. In this episode, we break down the realities of separation under one roof — what the family court in Australia considers what risks and protections you need to know about, and what practical steps you can take if you’re stuck. From safety planning to financial concerns, we’ll tackle the most common fears people have when their ex refuses to leave or makes life impossible at home. We’ll also bust some of the biggest myths, including the idea that leaving the family home means you “lose it forever.” Spoiler: that’s not how property settlements work. ⚠️ Trigger Warning: This episode discusses family violence, coercive control, and situations that may feel unsafe. 📌 Legal Disclaimer: This episode is for general information only and is not legal advice. Please seek your own legal support for your specific circumstances.    ⏱ Episode Timeline – Separation Under One Roof 00:00 – Introduction: What to Do If You’re Still Living With Your Ex After Separation 00:43 – Common Concerns in Divorce: “I’m Stuck Under One Roof With My Ex” 02:36 – What Does Separation Under One Roof Mean in Family Law? 03:57 – Divorce Myths: Does Leaving the House Mean You Lose Property Rights? 05:22 – Financial Traps in Divorce: How to Afford Living Separately 11:53 – Sole Occupancy Orders Explained: Forcing an Ex to Leave the Family Home 14:06 – Divorce Conflict: How to Deal With an Uncooperative or Controlling Ex 19:31 – Domestic Violence & Divorce: Creating Safety Plans While Living Together 25:04 – Court Orders and Safety Concerns When Separated Under One Roof 25:52 – Property Settlements in Divorce: How Renovations and Contributions Are Treated 28:41 – Divorce Property Division: What Courts Think About Home Improvements 32:31 – Post-Separation Manipulation: Recognising Coercive Control Tactics 35:13 – Children and Divorce: How Living Arrangements Affect Custody Decisions 40:29 – Separation Under One Roof Checklist: Key Questions to Protect Yourself 46:35 – Final Tips: Legal Support and Resources Available 📥 Download the Separation Under One Roof Checklist – available free to newsletter subscribers. 🚨 Support Services: 1800 RESPECT (Family Violence Support – Australia) Lifeline: 13 11 14 (Crisis Support – Australia) 🎧 Related Episodes: DAVIS http://classic.austlii.edu.au/au/cases/cth/FamCA/1982/73.html Factor 79(5)f https://classic.austlii.edu.au/au/legis/cth/consol_act/fla1975114/s79.html How to Prove Separation Under One Roof https://open.spotify.com/episode/2IXSOZ8vVadbcrq10DuxG0 Who Pays the Mortgage After Separation? https://open.spotify.com/episode/4wPpEArmCbxKGXL5Czgm48?si=R_ECqP68QHu8DpyoJK_23Q Separation Survival: Boundaries Under One Roof https://open.spotify.com/episode/57GwZsRSE1IO8WYfLuvMNH?si=jcHw01X7QiuWYIihmY1_jQ 📌 Legal Disclaimer: This episode is for general information only and is not legal advice. Please seek your own legal support for your specific circumstances. 

🎧 Listen to This Episode If… 👩‍👧 You’re in a custody dispute and want to show the court you’re the primary carer ⚖️ You’re unsure what “primary carer” really means under family law 📚 You need to know what kind of evidence proves you’ve been the day-to-day parent 😟 You’re worried your ex is twisting the truth about who cares for the kids 📝 You want practical tips on documenting your role as the main caregiver 🏛️ You’re preparing for mediation or family court and want to feel more confident 💡 You want to understand how judges assess who the primary carer is ⚠️ Trigger Warning: This episode discusses family and domestic violence, coercive control, and financial abuse. 📌 Legal Disclaimer: This episode is for general information only and is not legal advice. Please seek independent advice for your specific situation. primary carer. What does it actually mean? How do courts define it? Why does it matter so much in custody battles and interim hearings? And most importantly, how can you prove you’ve been the primary carer if your ex tries to rewrite history? We unpack the recent changes in family law in Australia, the shift away from the old 50/50 presumption, and why the courts now focus on the best interests of the children over parental entitlement. Along the way, we share practical examples, strategies for gathering evidence, and insights into how controlling or manipulative ex-partners sometimes exploit this concept. Whether you’re negotiating custody in mediation, preparing for court, or simply trying to understand your rights, this episode is for you. ⏱️ Episode Timeline – What We Discuss 00:00 – What does “primary carer” mean in divorce and custody cases? 02:08 – How do courts define the role of a primary carer in family law? 03:46 – What changes in family law affect interim parenting orders? 06:50 – How do judges decide the “best interests of the children”? 16:07 – How can you prove you are the primary carer in custody disputes? 23:13 – What practical steps help parents show primary carer status? 23:37 – When should you seek legal or psychological support in custody battles? 23:48 – How do you handle high-conflict separations in family court? 24:07 – What role do parenting plans play in custody and court proceedings? 25:38 – How does family violence impact child custody decisions? 28:01 – Do grandparents and babysitters count in proving primary carer status? 30:29 – What is the “first right of refusal” in custody arrangements? 34:39 – What evidence do you need to prove you’re the main carer for your children? 41:59 – Final thoughts and encouragement for parents in custody cases   📌 Links & Resources Mentioned Cowlings Case : https://www.austlii.edu.au/au/journals/FedJSchol/2002/2.pdf The Purple Book https://domesticviolence.com.au/resources/the-purple-book/ Family Law Changes episode https://open.spotify.com/episode/4nPB5tKDwMC95G9IrFXGSq?si=SeyXIoDDRN-MJy4Q513WAQ Family Law Act Australia Definition of Family Violence https://www.austlii.edu.au/cgi-bin/viewdoc/au/legis/cth/consol_act/fla1975114/s4ab.html Family Law Act Section 61DAB https://www.austlii.edu.au/cgi-bin/viewdoc/au/legis/cth/consol_act/fla1975114/s61dab.html Safeguarding against unfair accusations in Family Court Custody Battles https://open.spotify.com/episode/2vgyr4S8LWECnqspEfrdij?si=-oZRAP06S7yTNGVxHyV4GQ Enrol now: The Divorce Course https://www.thedivorcecourse.com.au/enrol     🆘 Support Services 💜 1800 RESPECT – Domestic and Family Violence Support 📞 Lifeline – 13 11 14 (24/7 Crisis Support) ⚖️ Legal Aid – Visit your state’s Legal Aid website 👧 Kids Helpline – 1800 55 1800  

Listen to This Episode If You… 💸 Can’t afford a lawyer full-time but still need legal support 📑 Are drowning in legal letters or excessive disclosure requests from your ex 👶 Want to protect your kids while keeping costs manageable ⚖️ Are considering mediation but don’t know when it’s safe to go without a lawyer 🧾 Want to learn how to organise your documents to save money 😟 Are worried your ex is using legal abuse or post-separation tactics to wear you down ⚠️ Trigger Warning: This episode discusses family and domestic violence, coercive control, and financial abuse. 📌 Legal Disclaimer: This episode is for general information only and is not legal advice. Please seek independent advice for your specific situation. Affording a Lawyer Without Going Broke: Divorce Cost-Saving Tips Are you stuck in the “missing middle”... earning too much for legal aid, but nowhere near enough to pay endless legal bills? You’re not alone. For many separating couples, the cost of family law can feel like a second punishment, especially when an ex uses the system as a weapon of financial abuse or coercive control. In this practical and empowering episode, Laura and Lyn (a seasoned family lawyer) break down the real costs of divorce, why legal bills skyrocket, and the smart strategies you can use to keep costs under control. From disclosure to parenting arrangements, mediation to negotiation, you’ll discover what you can safely do yourself—and where it’s worth paying for expert legal help. If you’re overwhelmed by fees or worried your ex is driving up costs on purpose, this episode gives you the tools, insights, and confidence to navigate the system without draining your financial future. ⏱️ Episode Timeline – What We Discuss 00:00 – What you need to know before listening: Introduction and trigger warning 01:02 – What is the “Missing Middle” in Family Law and Divorce? (Legal aid limits and financial strain explained) 03:14 – How much do Family Law and Divorce lawyers cost in Australia? (Understanding legal fees) 07:56 – How do high-conflict exes use Family Law and Divorce to create legal abuse and drive up costs? 13:36 – What Family Law and Divorce strategies actually help keep legal costs down? 21:49 – Best Family Law co-parenting apps to cut conflict and reduce divorce lawyer bills 23:10 – What is the DIY Divorce Blueprint and how can it save you money in Family Law? 23:54 – Can you negotiate a Family Law divorce settlement without a lawyer? 24:35 – Family Law mediation tips: When mediation works in divorce and when it’s unsafe 28:12 – What are Family Law pre-court procedures in divorce? (Self-representation tips) 30:28 – How to organise your Family Law divorce case and manage legal costs like a pro 34:57 – Real Family Law success stories: How preparation cut divorce costs in half 36:32 – Final thoughts: Encouragement for staying strong during Family Law and Divorce 📌 Links & Resources Mentioned Related episode: Is Your Ex Bombarding You With Legal Letters? https://open.spotify.com/episode/4xP8mJmnjAgoEeTJaqOMKb?si=mBgqHpaaRuGkzVsNdZ4VJw Parenting communication tools: Our Family Wizard, Our Children Case & Article: ABC News – Exorbitant Costs of Family Court Matters https://www.abc.net.au/news/2025-08-27/financial-toll-of-sydney-registry-family-court-matters/105622908   Post Separation Abuse Playbook and what you can do about it part 1 https://open.spotify.com/episode/0frpHUd43xAsuifACUqIzL?si=4PFFP2lmSzKlrCbUfWQgNA   Dealing with Legal Abuse https://open.spotify.com/episode/1V23F0O5yhQt9NFLPOu6uJ?si=gml77SrURsK1LGpA5MhzHw Protecting yourself from a narc ex in family court https://open.spotify.com/episode/0JyfH5fCoqrUoxeDj6jCtu?si=8ZmxK28ySQa5_SUY5ywkPg https://www.ourchildren.com.au/ https://www.ourfamilywizard.com.au/ Age Appropriate Parenting Plans https://open.spotify.com/episode/6MxzxwItfa1K8p9Rrnu3ON?si=Nss69o81SVK7GCpjEGcmPQ Legal Fees & Saving Strategies https://open.spotify.com/episode/4sIiqb89evbERnRlWfGR9v?si=9PZDyWazS7uPOjG9aLmWJQ Enrol now: The Divorce Course https://www.thedivorcecourse.com.au/enrol 🆘 Support Services 💜 1800 RESPECT – Domestic and Family Violence Support 📞 Lifeline – 13 11 14 (24/7 Crisis Support) ⚖️ Legal Aid – Visit your state’s Legal Aid website 👧 Kids Helpline – 1800 55 1800  

🎧 Listen to this episode if you… 💸 Suspect your ex has been wasting money during or after separation ⚖️ Want to understand what the new Family Law Act changes (June 2025) mean for add-backs 📑 Need to know how to prove wastage in court or mediation 🏡 Worry your savings could be treated unfairly if your ex has spent theirs 🧾 Want practical tips on disclosure, evidence, and how to talk to your lawyer ⚠️ Disclaimer: This is general education only and not legal advice. Please seek advice from your own lawyer about your specific circumstances. Divorce property settlements just got a major shake-up in Australia. On June 10, 2025, the Family Law Act changed—and the Full Court confirmed the new approach in Shinohara & Shinohara [2025] FedCFamC1A 126. So what does that mean for you? In today’s episode, we break down wastage and add-backs—what they are, how they used to work, and what the courts now say. We explore: The difference between wastage during the relationship vs after separation How gambling, drugs, alcohol, or reckless spending are treated The risks when your ex is stalling, hiding money, or draining joint accounts How to prove wastage with disclosure, documents, and chronologies What to say to your lawyer or mediator so it doesn’t get missed If you’ve been scrimping and saving while your ex has been spending big, this episode will help you understand how the law now protects you—and how to raise it at mediation or in court. ⚠️ Disclaimer: This is general education only and not legal advice. Please seek advice from your own lawyer about your specific circumstances.   ⏱️ Episode Timeline – What We Discuss: 00:00 – What are wastage and add-backs in divorce property settlements? 01:28 – How do courts define wastage and add-backs in family law? 03:36 – What are the new legal changes (June 2025) and how do they affect divorce property division? 07:12 – How does wastage during and after marriage impact property settlements? 16:25 – How can you prove wastage in court after separation? 27:13 – What kind of proof and financial chronology does the court expect? 27:34 – Why keeping a clear chronology helps in divorce proceedings 28:30 – How do you raise financial wastage issues in mediation? 29:37 – What mediation strategies and legal cases should you know about? 30:50 – How is wastage treated in property settlement negotiations? 38:34 – Why is the separation date and superannuation balance so important? 43:40 – How do you handle wastage claims with a high-conflict or avoidant ex? 48:47 – What are the key takeaways for protecting yourself under the new family law changes?   📌 Links & Resources Mentioned Case Update: Shinohara & Shinohara [2025] FedCFamC1A 126 (23 July 2025) ​​https://www.austlii.edu.au/cgi-bin/viewdoc/au/cases/cth/FedCFamC1A/2025/126.html   Our Free Webinar: thedivorcecourse.com.au    Related episodes: DIY Disclosure in Divorce  https://open.spotify.com/episode/49yOIB1GLDmXgeZCXkfyJS?si=eGN8WdTBQQql5-9WzT-NsA Legal Gatekeeping & What Your Lawyer Might Not Tell You https://open.spotify.com/episode/086JRHdfn0TGR2vyhhLD2z?si=49tG9RYPQtWFIJDOryviOw   💡 Final Thoughts The law around wastage and add-backs has changed dramatically. If your ex has been wasting money, don’t give up—there are still ways to make sure the court takes it into account. The key is evidence, preparation, and raising it early. 👉 If this episode was helpful, please share it with a friend, rate the podcast, and leave a review—it helps others find the support they need.  📌 Legal Disclaimer: This is a general discussion and not legal advice. Please see a qualified lawyer for advice specific to your situation. 🆘 Emergency & Support Contacts: 💜 Women’s Shelter: 1800 811 811 📞 Lifeline (24/7 Crisis): 13 11 14 👨‍👧 Mensline Australia: 1300 789 978 👧 Kids Helpline: 1800 551 800 🚨 DV Hotline: 1800 RESPECT (1800 737 732)

Listen to This Episode If You: 🗣️ Have used ChatGPT or AI tools to write legal documents 📱 Are wondering if your chat history could be used in court 🧾 Need help drafting or planning divorce paperwork 🤯 Feel overwhelmed and are tempted to “just ask ChatGPT” ⚖️ Want to avoid serious legal mistakes caused by bad AI info 🧠 Are using AI to organize your thoughts, but unsure where the line is   More and more people are turning to AI tools like ChatGPT during their separation or divorce — but is it helping… or hurting your case? In this episode, we explore the four major risks of using AI in your divorce process and show you how to use it safely (if at all). From the scary reality that your chats can be subpoenaed, to the truth about AI “hallucinations” in affidavits, we break it all down so you don’t get caught off guard. We also share ways you can use AI smartly — for planning, organizing thoughts, or building checklists — but why you still need legal and emotional support from real people. 📌 Legal Disclaimer: This is general information only and not legal advice. Always consult a lawyer for your personal situation.   ⏱️ Episode Timeline – What We Cover: [00:00] – Can You Use AI in Divorce? An Introduction to ChatGPT and Legal Tech [00:48] – Important Legal Disclaimer: Why AI tools can’t replace professional legal advice [01:29] – What Are AI Tools Like ChatGPT? Overview of how people use AI in divorce [02:41] – Should You Use AI to Draft Consent Orders? Key risks and considerations [05:47] – Can ChatGPT Write My Affidavit? The dangers of AI-generated court documents [08:14] – Why ChatGPT Isn’t a Lawyer: Understanding the limitations of AI in family law [12:23] – Is AI Just Telling You What You Want to Hear? How emotional bias can show up [15:35] – Can AI Be Used as Evidence in Court? Legal risks of relying on chat transcripts [20:53] – Upcoming Webinar Announcement: Learn more about using tech in legal separation [23:26] – Are Judges Ready for AI in Family Law? How courts are adapting to tech tools [24:07] – What Evidence Will the Court Accept? Tips on using tech tools wisely [24:25] – How Legal Communication Has Evolved: From letters to chat logs [25:25] – Key AI Risks to Watch for in Divorce Cases: What the law doesn’t forgive [27:01] – How to Use AI Safely: Smart ways to organise your thoughts and prep for court [29:23] – Real Cautionary Tales: What can go wrong when AI replaces your legal team [33:31] – Final Tips and Takeaways: When AI is helpful—and when it’s risky     🎙️ Related Episodes Putting Coercive Control into writing for Affidavits etc https://open.spotify.com/episode/6Ci0M4DqznBf1L1kcZM3vY?si=Bxeequf0R3G2LNjMWGwiSw   Divorce Survival: when you feel like giving up https://open.spotify.com/episode/77KUxaiDS3dKQJl9ly5QtA?si=LMmJ7f0sRXqW5sFWJCb7Tg   12 agreements creating your own parenting plan https://open.spotify.com/episode/6j325rOj96QvV8spPnYsX5?si=J2zhKMgqRrGgKjsh1UbicA   📌 Links & Resources Mentioned:   📞 1800 RESPECT – National Family Violence Support 📞 Lifeline: 13 11 14 – 24/7 Emotional Support 🆘 Emergency & Support Contacts: 💜 Women’s Shelter: 1800 811 811 📞 Lifeline (24/7 Crisis): 13 11 14 👨‍👧 Mensline Australia: 1300 789 978 👧 Kids Helpline: 1800 551 800 🚨 DV Hotline: 1800 RESPECT (1800 737 732)    📌 Legal Disclaimer: This is a general discussion and not legal advice. Please see a qualified lawyer for advice specific to your situation.