Do It Yourself

What does it mean to be selfish in bed, and is it always necessarily a bad thing? This week we discuss our relationships to “selfishness” and receiving pleasure. Bottoming vs. Being Selfish | Negative Connotations | Straights vs. Queers | Wide Range of Pleasures | “You Do Me, Then I Do You” | Switching | /r/RandomActsOfMuffDive | Bottoming Skills | Guilt & Shame | Pleasure Doms | Gendered Tropes | Tops’ Pleasure | Masking vs. Vulnerability Credits:Music by PROTODOMEArtwork by Addison FinchBecome a patron to support the show and get access to our private Discord, monthly bonus episodes, and your name mentioned on the show.  

Talking about sex is hard, which is why so many sex educators try to “meet people where they’re at,” a concept we unpack this week to help you have better conversations about sex. Zero Tolerance vs. Harm Reduction | Don’t Be Elitist! | Avoiding Shame Triggers | Self-Disclosure | Jokey Approach | Questions & Assumptions | Assessing Knowledge Level | Self-Criticism Credits:Music by PROTODOMEArtwork by Addison FinchBecome a patron to support the show and get access to our private Discord, monthly bonus episodes, and your name mentioned on the show.  

This week, we celebrated International Kissing Day by answering listener questions about kissing! “We Should Make Out” | Hormone Changes | Kissing Men | Consent-Asks | Feeling Overwhelmed | Toys & Practice | Sexual Stimulation Credits:Music by PROTODOMEArtwork by Addison FinchBecome a patron to support the show and get access to our private Discord, monthly bonus episodes, and your name mentioned on the show.  

This week, while Kate’s moving from Toronto to New York, Billy chats with his partner Dee Darkholme about THEIR recent move, and what it’s been like adjusting to living together with Dee’s other partner. Living with 2 Partners | Opposite vs. Similar | Communication & Criticism | Sex Issues | Having People Over | Decoration Decisions | Complementary Strengths | Alone Time | Nice Things Credits:Music by PROTODOMEArtwork by Addison FinchBecome a patron to support the show and get access to our private Discord, monthly bonus episodes, and your name mentioned on the show.  

How do you get over a friend who doesn’t like you back? This week, we wade deeper into the topic of unrequited feelings within a friendship. Crush Eras | “The Friendzone” | Straight vs. Queer Scripts | Gendered Narratives | Processing Unrequited Feelings | Re-Channelling Obsessions | Grieving Credits:Music by PROTODOMEArtwork by Addison FinchBecome a patron to support the show and get access to our private Discord, monthly bonus episodes, and your name mentioned on the show.  

What happens when you catch feelings for your friend? This week, we discuss the tricky art of keeping a friendship afloat while attraction rocks the boat. When Feelings Dissipate | Developing Feelings | When to Say Something | Changing the Label | Flirting vs. Being Direct | Flirting is Hot | Soft No vs. Hard No | When to Let It Go | Gender Imbalances | Should You Tell Them? Credits:Music by PROTODOMEArtwork by Addison FinchBecome a patron to support the show and get access to our private Discord, monthly bonus episodes, and your name mentioned on the show.  

Friendships with benefits are an important part of our sexual landscape, so this week we discuss how to navigate casual ongoing sexual partnerships with kindness and grace. FWBs vs. Fuckbuddies | Demisexuality | Romantic Attraction | Safety & Trust | Familiarity & Practice | Sex is Fun | Intimacy & Connection | Finding a FWB | Asking a Friend | Labeling | “What Are You Looking For?” | “We Should Make Out” | Relationship Escalator | Managing Expectations Credits:Music by PROTODOMEArtwork by Addison FinchBecome a patron to support the show and get access to our private Discord, monthly bonus episodes, and your name mentioned on the show.  

Sexual pleasure can be wonderful self-care, even during some low-libido times. This week we discuss our favorite methods of sexual self-care. Happy Pride Month! | Not Jerking Off | Perfunctory Masturbation | Reducing Friction | Opportunities to Feel Sexy | Sexual Health | Setting & Enforcing Boundaries | Self-Knowledge | Focusing on Pleasure | Curiosity & Creativity | “Just Do It”? Credits:Music by PROTODOMEArtwork by Addison FinchBecome a patron to support the show and get access to our private Discord, monthly bonus episodes, and your name mentioned on the show.  

This week Kate chats with her wife mb about how HRT (hormone replacement therapy) can affect transfeminine people’s skin sensitivity, orgasm intensity, desire levels, and more!Your Mileage May Vary | Softer Skin | Girl Smell | Erectile Changes | Responsive vs. Spontaneous Desire | Maintaining Erectile Function | Context & a “Why” | Hormonal Cycle | Sensitivity | /r/GrowYourClit | Orgasms | Cum | Domming & Topping | Subbing & Bottoming | Aftercare | Penile Health Maintenance | Dancing | Trans Healthcare Access Credits:Music by PROTODOMEArtwork by Addison FinchBecome a patron to support the show and get access to our private Discord, monthly bonus episodes, and your name mentioned on the show.  

Happy Masturbation Month to those who celebrate! This week we’re answering listener questions on jerkin’ it.Want to Want It | Solo Pain Play | Masochism vs. Self-Harm | Fantasies Making a Comeback | Achievable Fantasies | Pets in the Room Credits:Music by PROTODOMEArtwork by Addison FinchBecome a patron to support the show and get access to our private Discord, monthly bonus episodes, and your name mentioned on the show.