Jumping Jack Flash (It's a Gas Gas Gas)

To get to the last, we should start at the first. But since we have no idea who that might've been, we'll just start here. Check out: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠indeed.com/theconstant⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ now to start hiringVisit our ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Patreon here⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠. You too can get ad-free, early episodes, starting now!⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠​​⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠     ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ BUY OUR MERCH, YOU FILTHY ANIMALS!⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ​ ​The Constant is part of the ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Airwave Media⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ podcast network.​​ ​​ ​ ​​​ ​ ​​​​Interested in advertising on The Constant? Email ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠[email protected]⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ to get on board! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Let's try this one more time. Forever. Check out: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠indeed.com/theconstant⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ now to start hiringVisit our ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Patreon here⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠. You too can get ad-free, early episodes, starting now!⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠​​⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠     ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ BUY OUR MERCH, YOU FILTHY ANIMALS!⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ​ ​The Constant is part of the ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Airwave Media⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ podcast network.​​ ​​ ​ ​​​ ​​​​Interested in advertising on The Constant? Email ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠[email protected]⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ to get on board! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Time for some ol' fashioned mass hysteria. Check out: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠indeed.com/theconstant⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ now to start hiringVisit our ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Patreon here⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠. You too can get ad-free, early episodes, starting now!⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠​​⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠    ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ BUY OUR MERCH, YOU FILTHY ANIMALS!⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ​ ​The Constant is part of the ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Airwave Media⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ podcast network.​​ ​​ ​ ​​​ ​​​Interested in advertising on The Constant? Email ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠[email protected]⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ to get on board! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

It's only an analogy if you want it to be. Visit our ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Patreon here⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠. You too can get ad-free, early episodes, starting now!⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠​​⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠      ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠BUY OUR MERCH, YOU FILTHY ANIMALS!⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ​  ​The Constant is part of the ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Airwave Media⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ podcast network.​​ ​​ ​ ​​​ ​ ​​​​​Interested in advertising on The Constant? Email ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠[email protected]⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ to get on board! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Of confederates and con-men. Visit our ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Patreon here⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠. You too can get ad-free, early episodes, starting now!⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠​​⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠     ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠  BUY OUR MERCH, YOU FILTHY ANIMALS!⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ​ ​The Constant is part of the ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Airwave Media⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ podcast network.​​ ​​ ​ ​​​ ​ ​​​​Interested in advertising on The Constant? Email ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠[email protected]⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ to get on board! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Thar be wood. Visit our ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Patreon here⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠. You too can get ad-free, early episodes, starting now!⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠​​⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠     ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ BUY OUR MERCH, YOU FILTHY ANIMALS!⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ​ ​The Constant is part of the ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Airwave Media⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ podcast network.​​ ​​ ​ ​​​ ​​​​Interested in advertising on The Constant? Email ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠[email protected]⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ to get on board! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Arg, me mateys. Check out: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠indeed.com/theconstant⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ now to start hiringVisit our ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Patreon here⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠. You too can get ad-free, early episodes, starting now!⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠​​⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠    ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ BUY OUR MERCH, YOU FILTHY ANIMALS!⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ​ ​The Constant is part of the ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Airwave Media⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ podcast network.​​ ​​ ​ ​​​ ​​​Interested in advertising on The Constant? Email ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠[email protected]⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ to get on board! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Two classic Constant Christmas episodes, remade in higher quality, and available ad-free for Patreon subscribers. That could be you! Check out: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠indeed.com/theconstant⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ now to start hiringVisit our ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Patreon here⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠. You too can get ad-free, early episodes, starting now!⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠​​⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠    ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠BUY OUR MERCH, YOU FILTHY ANIMALS!⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ​ ​The Constant is part of the ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Airwave Media⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ podcast network.​​ ​​ ​ ​​​ ​​Interested in advertising on The Constant? Email ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠[email protected]⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ to get on board! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Down through the chimney, click click click, it's three bonus stories from the Patreon secret feed! Check out: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠indeed.com/theconstant⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ now to start hiringVisit our ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Patreon here⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠. You too can get ad-free, early episodes, starting now!⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠​​⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠   ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠BUY OUR MERCH, YOU FILTHY ANIMALS!⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ​ ​The Constant is part of the ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Airwave Media⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ podcast network.​​ ​​ ​ ​​​​Interested in advertising on The Constant? Email ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠[email protected]⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ to get on board! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Dust in the wind. All we are is dust in the wind. Even more so: our stuff. Send me your best "I bet you didn't know that" story in an audio file to ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠[email protected]⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠ ⁠⁠⁠ ⁠Check out: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠indeed.com/theconstant⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ now to start hiringVisit our ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Patreon here⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠. You too can get ad-free, early episodes, starting now!⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠​​⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠   ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠BUY OUR MERCH, YOU FILTHY ANIMALS!⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ​ ​The Constant is part of the ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Airwave Media⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ podcast network.​​ ​​ ​ ​​​Interested in advertising on The Constant? Email ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠[email protected]⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ to get on board! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices