#46: What Are Mormons Like?

Why does a man's sexual failure set off a five-alarm fire, while a woman's gets treated like a quiet disappointment?In this episode, Brannon looks at the double standard religious culture builds around sexuality: male desire treated as a danger to manage, female desire treated as something that should stay dormant. He is not taking sides. Both men and women get hurt by the same shame-based system, in different ways, and he explains why hiding sexuality is more dangerous than being honest about it.In this episode:• Why "danger" messages about sexuality lead to hiding, not growth• What the "bad boy" and "good girl" scripts have in common• What changes when sexuality is acknowledged instead of foughtCheck out my new book: brannonpatrick.com/books/jesus-has-a-penis and my courses: brannonpatrick.com/coursesChapters:00:00 Welcome, and why I keep coming back to this topic02:24 The question: a five-alarm fire vs. a quiet disappointment03:01 Not boys versus girls04:28 A pattern from the therapy room09:51 Who is the church's purity talk really about?11:31 Male sexuality can be dangerous, and that is real13:37 Bring all of you to the table15:02 Why "danger" messages backfire (the survival brain)17:38 What the numbers say about who seeks help19:20 Why women are not getting help21:41 Bad Boy Syndrome and Good Girl Syndrome22:13 The answer is not fighting male sexuality23:31 What a child teaches us about shame26:39 Mixed messages: control, except when we don't27:49 Accept it, honor it, learn to be healthy with it29:32 We are all uniquely sexual31:59 Check your own reaction32:32 Book, courses and goodbye

What if trying to quit porn is the very thing keeping you stuck in it?Most religious men try to stop with fear: "Don't lose your wife." "Stay worthy before God." "Save the family." Fear drives control, release brings shame, and shame feeds more fear. In this relaunch episode, Brannon names that cycle and points to acceptance that leads to agency, not rejection that leads to more hiding.In this episode:• Why "good" motivations are often fear underneath• The fear → control → release → shame loop• Why accepting desire restores agencyCheck out my new book, "Jesus Has a Penis": brannonpatrick.com/books/jesus-has-a-penisCheck out one of my courses: "Undivided: A Shame-Free Path Out of Porn Addiction for Men of Faith": brannonpatrick.com/coursesChapters:00:00 Welcome, and the magpie (black, white, and blue)04:54 Why you can't quit porn07:07 What if your motivation is creating the compulsion?08:31 Fear under the "good" reasons10:05 The double life purity culture builds16:11 When a six-month clock becomes white-knuckle control19:27 Fear, control, release, shame25:59 Proving righteousness doesn't heal desire30:10 Scrupulosity vs real unmanageability34:39 Teaching kids without shame38:47 Agency starts with accepting desire41:15 The blue moment46:13 Rewrite the agreements that keep you stuck49:36 Why I'm back56:47 Closing

Check out my new book: brannonpatrick.com/books/jesus-has-a-penis and my courses: brannonpatrick.com/coursesIn this episode, Brannon talks about navigating faith transitions in relationships—especially when one partner begins to question or expand spiritually while the other stays rooted in their beliefs. He shares two powerful, practical tools to help couples avoid unnecessary conflict and build stronger connections, even amidst spiritual differences. This conversation offers insight, compassion, and clarity for anyone facing the complexities of a faith shift in a high-demand religious context. 

Check out my new book: brannonpatrick.com/books/jesus-has-a-penis and my courses: brannonpatrick.com/coursesIn this episode, Brannon talks about the deeper meaning of healthy boundaries—not just as tools for saying no, but as a reflection of your values, integrity, and authenticity. He unpacks common myths about boundaries, explores why they’re essential for mental health, and explains how setting true boundaries can actually attract healthier relationships (while disrupting toxic ones). Whether you’re new to boundaries or wanting to understand them more fully, this episode will challenge your assumptions and offer a powerful reframe.

Check out my new book: brannonpatrick.com/books/jesus-has-a-penis and my courses: brannonpatrick.com/coursesIn this episode, Brannon talks about the powerful connection between grief and emotional suffering. He shares how early experiences working in hospice taught him that our ability—or inability—to grieve impacts how we navigate pain, betrayal, and loss throughout life. Brannon explains how resistance to reality creates suffering, and how moving through grief, rather than avoiding it, leads to healing and peace. Whether it’s a deep betrayal or something as everyday as a traffic jam, learning to feel and process our emotions is key to living with acceptance and resilience.

Check out my new book: brannonpatrick.com/books/jesus-has-a-penis and my courses: brannonpatrick.com/coursesIn this episode, Brannon talks about his personal journey through the evolving world of betrayal trauma treatment—what he learned in the early days, how the field has changed, and why some popular approaches might be missing the mark. He shares stories from his own professional development, unpacks the limitations of both the old codependency model and the newer, sometimes extreme, betrayal trauma frameworks, and offers insight into what truly helps people heal.

Check out my new book: brannonpatrick.com/books/jesus-has-a-penis and my courses: brannonpatrick.com/coursesIn this episode, Brannon explores the power of presence as a path to healing. He breaks down how being fully present can release trauma, ease anxiety, and deepen relationships. Drawing from therapy techniques like EMDR and insights from experts like Eckhart Tolle and Bessel van der Kolk, Brannon shares why letting go of the ego and embracing the moment is key to true emotional freedom.

Check out my new book: brannonpatrick.com/books/jesus-has-a-penis and my courses: brannonpatrick.com/coursesIn this episode, Brannon opens up about his experience training under Jody Hildebrandt and the harmful impact of her teachings. He explores the rigid belief systems she promoted, the fear and shame they created, and the ways they affected individuals and relationships. Brannon shares what led him to challenge these ideas and seek a healthier approach to healing and connection.

Check out my new book: brannonpatrick.com/books/jesus-has-a-penis and my courses: brannonpatrick.com/coursesIn this episode, Brannon talks about the dangers of getting too comfortable in life and how it can lead to stagnation, depression, and a lack of purpose. He explores the importance of stepping outside your comfort zone, taking risks, and embracing discomfort as a pathway to growth and self-discovery. Through personal stories, powerful quotes, and practical advice, Brannon shares how living "on the edge" can unlock infinite possibilities and help you align with your true purpose.

Check out my new book: brannonpatrick.com/books/jesus-has-a-penis and my courses: brannonpatrick.com/coursesIn this episode, Brannon talks about the challenges of working with clients from the Mormon community, joined by therapist Lauren Klosz. They discuss issues like perfectionism, secrecy, and faith struggles, along with the supportive aspects of Mormon culture and the role of non-Mormon therapists.