Please Sleep: It Makes You More Charismatic with Dr. Christopher Barnes

Are you actually more productive when you work longer hours or just more exhausted? In this episode, I talk with Christopher Barnes, Professor of Management and the Michael G. Foster Endowed Professor at the Foster School of Business at the University of Washington, about the ingrained belief that sacrificing sleep is the price of success and why that belief is costing you more than you think. Chris shares how leaders create “sleep-deprived cultures” through their behavior, from late-night emails to rewarding constant responsiveness. We break down what really happens to your brain when you’re sleep-deprived, the vicious cycle between anxiety and insomnia, and why being tired makes everything feel bigger, harder, and more urgent than it actually is. Tune in to learn how better sleep can make you sharper, calmer, and more effective. Check out our sponsors: Shopify - Sign up for a $1 per month trial, just go to ⁠http://shopify.com/anxiousachiever⁠ Notion - Notion is an AI powered, connected workspace for teams. Try custom agents now at ⁠https://notion.com/achiever In this Episode, You Will Learn 00:00 Why working more hours doesn’t mean better performance. 02:15 Are leaders unintentionally rewarding sleep deprivation? 08:00 The tradeoff between working more hours vs. doing better work. 11:00 Why anxiety and insomnia reinforce each other. 12:30 Why everything feels more stressful when you’re sleep-deprived. 14:00 The cycle that keeps high achievers stuck in poor sleep habits. 17:00 What can you do when your boss expects you to overwork? 22:00 Ways leaders can encourage healthier sleep habits. 25:30 The long-term performance cost of sleep deprivation. 26:30 How circadian rhythms affect when you do your best work. 27:30 How flexible schedules improve performance. 28:30 The bias against people who don’t start early. Resources + Links Get a copy of my book - The Anxious Achiever Watch the podcast on YouTube  Find more resources on our website morraam.com Follow Follow me: on LinkedIn @morraaronsmele + Instagram @morraam

What if the problem isn’t your focus, your discipline, or your productivity, but the way you’ve been taught to work? In this episode, I talk with Ennis Olson, Global Innovation Lead at Google, about what changes when you truly understand how your brain operates. Ennis shares how his late diagnosis of ADHD and autism helped him make sense of a career built on creativity, curiosity, and constant reinvention and why those same traits can create friction in traditional work environments. We break down how to navigate days when your brain won’t cooperate, how to design your work around your energy, and why self-awareness is one of the most powerful tools you can build. Tune in to learn how to reduce anxiety, work more effectively, and lead in a way that honors how you’re wired. Check out our sponsors: Northwest Registered Agent - Protect your privacy, build your brand and get your complete business identity in just 10 clicks and 10 minutes! Visit https://www.northwestregisteredagent.com/achieverfree Shopify - Sign up for a $1 per month trial, just go to http://shopify.com/anxiousachiever Talkiatry - Head to http://talkiatry.com/achiever and complete the short assessment to get matched with an in network psychiatrist in just a few minutes. Working Genius - Take the working genius assessment today and get 20% off with code ACHIEVER at working http://workinggenius.com Brevo - Meet brevo, the all in one marketing and CRM platform built to help you connect with  customers, boost engagement and grow your business smarter. Go to brevo.com/achiever and use code ACHIEVER50 for 50% off.  Notion - Notion is an AI powered, connected workspace for teams. Try custom agents now at https://notion.com/achiever In this Episode, You Will Learn 00:00 Why understanding your brain changes how you work. 05:15 How “seeing what others don’t” can drive success and anxiety. 12:00 Why great ideas aren’t enough without follow-through. 17:15 Tools for shifting focus when your brain won’t cooperate. 20:00 Why does your brain just not work some days? 28:45 How to advocate for what you need without overexplaining. 31:30 Tips to manage your energy when your schedule isn’t flexible. 34:15 How self-awareness and feedback build emotional flexibility. 37:30 Ways anxiety can become a tool for reflection. 45:45 The impact of a late diagnosis on self-understanding. 52:00 What does “neuroconvergence” mean? 58:45 What happens when you let go of what you’re bad at. Resources + Links Get a copy of my book - The Anxious Achiever Watch the podcast on YouTube  Find more resources on our website morraam.com Follow Follow me: on LinkedIn @morraaronsmele + Instagram @morraam Follow Ennis on LinkedIn: @ennisolson

Is entrepreneurship making your anxiety worse, or is it actually revealing something deeper about how you work and cope? In this episode, I talk with entrepreneur Chris Brogan and writer Ada Calhoun about the complicated relationship between freelancing, mental health, and the illusion of stability. Chris shares what it’s really like to build a career while living with depression, why success and struggle can coexist, and how he’s learned to “negotiate” with his mental health instead of letting it define him. Ada also breaks down the emotional and financial realities of freelance life, and the fears many of us carry about money and security. Tune in to rethink stability, understand your patterns, and build a way of working that supports your life. Check out our sponsors: Northwest Registered Agent - Protect your privacy, build your brand and get your complete business identity in just 10 clicks and 10 minutes! Visit https://www.northwestregisteredagent.com/achieverfree Shopify - Sign up for a $1 per month trial, just go to http://shopify.com/anxiousachiever Talkiatry - Head to http://talkiatry.com/achiever and complete the short assessment to get matched with an in network psychiatrist in just a few minutes. Working Genius - Take the working genius assessment today and get 20% off with code ACHIEVER at working http://workinggenius.com Brevo - Meet brevo, the all in one marketing and CRM platform built to help you connect with customers, boost engagement and grow your business smarter. Go to brevo.com/achiever and use code ACHIEVER50 for 50% off.  In this Episode, You Will Learn 00:00 Can you be successful while living with depression? 05:00 What it really feels like to work through depression day-to-day. 08:00 Why performance can feel easier than personal connection. 12:00 How to “negotiate” with your inner critic instead of fighting it. 16:45 How depression shows up in everyday work tasks. 18:45 What radical transparency about mental health looks like at work. 23:45 Is freelancing really riskier than having one employer? 26:15 What to do when your income drops or disappears. 30:15 Why freelance success doesn’t eliminate financial anxiety. 34:00 How freelancers manage mental health care. 38:00 How childhood experiences shape your fear around money. 42:45 Why does “enough” never feel like enough? Resources + Links Get a copy of Ada Calhoun’s book, Why We Can’t Sleep HERE! Learn more about Chris Brogan’s work HERE! Learn more about Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACEs) HERE! Get a copy of my book - The Anxious Achiever Watch the podcast on YouTube  Find more resources on our website morraam.com Follow Follow me: on LinkedIn @morraaronsmele + Instagram @morraam Follow Chris on LinkedIn: @cbrogan Follow Ada on Instagram: @adacalhoun

What if happiness isn’t something you feel, but something you learn? In this episode, I talk with Dr. Arthur Brooks about why anxious achievers often struggle with happiness, and how emotions are data we can use to build better lives. Arthur shares how our emotional “profiles” shape leadership, why anxiety is really unfocused fear, and how to turn late-night spirals into something actionable. We also dive into what’s broken about how we live today and why that’s making it harder to find meaning. Get ready to rethink happiness, understand your anxiety, and learn how to build a life that actually feels meaningful. Check out our sponsors: Northwest Registered Agent - Protect your privacy, build your brand and get your complete business identity in just 10 clicks and 10 minutes! Visit https://www.northwestregisteredagent.com/achieverfree Shopify - Sign up for a $1 per month trial, just go to http://shopify.com/anxiousachiever Talkiatry - Head to http://talkiaitry.com/achiever and complete the short assessment to get matched with an in network psychiatrist in just a few minutes. Working Genius - Take the working genius assessment today and get 20% off with code ACHIEVER at working http://workinggenius.com Brevo - Meet brevo, the all in one marketing and CRM platform built to help you connect with customers, boost engagement and grow your business smarter. Go to brevo.com/achiever and use code ACHIEVER50 for 50% off.  In this Episode, You Will Learn 00:00 Why happiness doesn’t come naturally. 03:15 Why high achievers often choose “being special” over being happy. 06:00 How smartphones quietly drain your attention and fulfillment. 08:00 How the science of happiness supports therapy. 13:30 Why people who feel more negative emotions often have creative advantages. 18:00 The “mad scientist” profile and why many leaders fall into it. 24:00 How different emotional styles shape leadership strengths and blind spots. 28:00 Why struggle is required for satisfaction and confidence. 32:00 What’s the difference between joy and happiness? 34:30 Why most self-help advice doesn’t work. 41:00 What is anxiety? 44:45 A step-by-step tool to calm anxiety and think clearly. 49:15 How to talk about emotions at work without losing credibility. 52:30 The 3-part framework for building a meaningful life. 55:45 Why boredom is essential for meaning and creativity. 58:30 How constant distraction is blocking your ability to find meaning. Resources + Links Pre-order a copy of Arthur Brooks’ book, The Meaning of Your Life HERE Get a copy of my book - The Anxious Achiever Watch the podcast on YouTube  Find more resources on our website morraam.com Follow Follow me: on LinkedIn @morraaronsmele + Instagram @morraam Follow Arthur on Instagram: @arthurcbrooks

Is your anxiety something you need to eliminate or something you need to understand better? In this episode, I talk with psychologist Alice Boyes about the everyday patterns that can make anxiety worse. Alice shares why trying to control anxiety often backfires and how common traps like perfectionism, rumination, avoidance, and impulsive decision-making keep anxious high achievers stuck. We also break down ways to create distance from anxious thoughts, handle feedback without spiraling, and make better decisions. Tune in to learn how to work with your anxiety instead of constantly fighting it. Check out our sponsors: Northwest Registered Agent - Protect your privacy, build your brand and get your complete business identity in just 10 clicks and 10 minutes! Visit https://www.northwestregisteredagent.com/achieverfree Shopify - Sign up for a $1 per month trial, just go to http://shopify.com/anxiousachiever Talkiatry - Head to http://talkiaitry.com/achiever and complete the short assessment to get matched with an in network psychiatrist in just a few minutes. Working Genius - Take the working genius assessment today and get 20% off with code ACHIEVER at working http://genius.com Brevo - Meet brevo, the all in one marketing and CRM platform built to help you connect with customers, boost engagement and grow your business smarter. Go to brevo.com/achiever and use code ACHIEVER50 for 50% off.  In this Episode, You Will Learn 00:00 Why does trying to control anxiety make it worse? 03:00 How can overthinking trap you in decision paralysis? 06:45 How anxiety pushes people to rush decisions to escape uncertainty. 12:30 Tips to prevent overpreparing from taking over your life. 16:00 How to make feedback less threatening and more useful. 18:30 Why not all feedback is worth accepting. 21:30 Ways to stop shame spirals after mistakes. 27:00 Why becoming a “self-expert” on your anxiety helps you manage it. 30:15 A strategy for creating distance from anxious thoughts. 34:45 How email and social media can amplify anxiety traps. 39:00 Why you don’t need to be exceptional at everything. Resources + Links Get a copy of Alice Boyes’ book, The Anxiety Toolkit HERE Learn more about Dr. Alice Boyes HERE Get a copy of my book - The Anxious Achiever Watch the podcast on YouTube  Find more resources on our website morraam.com Follow Follow me: on LinkedIn @morraaronsmele + Instagram @morraam Follow Alice: on LinkedIn @aliceboyes + Instagram @draliceboyes

Are today’s college students really in a mental health crisis, or are you misunderstanding what it’s always been like to grow up? In this episode, I talk with Dr. Alexis Redding, a Harvard developmental psychologist and editor of Mental Health in College. Dr. Redding shares that feelings like anxiety, loneliness, and uncertainty are often normal parts of growing up, especially during major transitions like starting college or entering the workforce. We also talk about what has actually changed for young people, from rising college costs and financial stress to the complexity of modern career paths and what hasn’t changed at all. Tune in to discover how you can better support young people today. Check out our sponsors: Northwest Registered Agent - Protect your privacy, build your brand and get your complete business identity in just 10 clicks and 10 minutes! Visit https://www.northwestregisteredagent.com/achieverfree Shopify - Sign up for a $1 per month trial, just go to http://shopify.com/anxiousachiever Talkiatry - Head to http://talkiaitry.com/achiever and complete the short assessment to get matched with an in network psychiatrist in just a few minutes. Working Genius - Take the working genius assessment today and get 20% off with code ACHIEVER at working http://genius.com Brevo - Meet brevo, the all in one marketing and CRM platform built to help you connect with customers, boost engagement and grow your business smarter. Go to brevo.com/achiever and use code ACHIEVER50 for 50% off.  In this Episode, You Will Learn 00:00 The normal developmental experiences during young adulthood. 05:00 What motivated you to research the transition from high school to college? 08:30 Why normalizing struggles can help parents support their children. 13:30 Are rising mental health diagnoses actually a positive sign? 20:15 College isn’t always the “best 4 years of your life.” 23:00 Why the idea of the “typical college student” is outdated. 27:00 What’s the difference between “warm” and “cold” policies? 30:30 How does financial support improve student well-being? 41:00 Why students often believe they are the only ones feeling lonely. 46:00 The “tangle of pressures” shaping student life today. 52:00 The 3 types of mentors young people need. 55:30 Why young employees may feel pressure to succeed quickly. 01:00:00 How to respond when a young person says, “I feel lonely”. Resources + Links Get a copy of the book Mental Health in College: What Research Tells Us About Supporting Students by Alexis Redding HERE Learn more about Dr. Alexis Redding and her work HERE Get a copy of my book - The Anxious Achiever Watch the podcast on YouTube  Find more resources on our website morraam.com Follow Follow me: on LinkedIn @morraaronsmele + Instagram @morraam Follow Alexis: on LinkedIn @alexisredding + Instagram @dralexisredding

What if the anxiety you feel walking into a meeting, networking event, or conference isn’t a personal flaw, but social anxiety? In this episode, clinical psychologist Dr. Ellen Hendriksen talks about the psychology behind social anxiety and why avoidance keeps it alive. She breaks down the belief at the core of social anxiety and tools to challenge anxious thoughts, manage shame, and build confidence even when anxiety is still present. Then, entrepreneur and former LinkedIn executive Arvind Rajan shares what it’s like to build a successful career while living with social anxiety. Tune in to learn how to manage social anxiety, build confidence, and show up fully. Check out our sponsors: Northwest Registered Agent - Protect your privacy, build your brand and get your complete business identity in just 10 clicks and 10 minutes! Visit https://www.northwestregisteredagent.com/achieverfree Shopify - Sign up for a $1 per month trial, just go to http://shopify.com/anxiousachiever Talkiatry - Head to http://talkiaitry.com/achiever and complete the short assessment to get matched with an in network psychiatrist in just a few minutes. Working Genius - Take the working genius assessment today and get 20% off with code ACHIEVER at working http://genius.com Brevo - Meet brevo, the all in one marketing and CRM platform built to help you connect with customers, boost engagement and grow your business smarter. Go to brevo.com/achiever and use code ACHIEVER50 for 50% off.  In this Episode, You Will Learn 00:00 Why social anxiety is the most common type of anxiety. 02:00 The 2 types of avoidance that keep social anxiety alive. 05:00 What’s the difference between generalized anxiety and social anxiety? 07:45 How social anxiety shows up in the workplace. 09:45 The strengths that often come with social anxiety. 14:00 How shame and fear of judgment affect leadership. 18:00 A framework for managing social anxiety. 22:45 When did you realize that you have social anxiety? 24:30 Why forcing yourself through anxiety doesn’t always work. 28:30 Why authenticity makes leaders more effective. 31:45 How leaders can build teams that support different personalities. Resources + Links Get Dr. Ellen Hendriksen’s book How to Be Yourself HERE Get a copy of my book - The Anxious Achiever Watch the podcast on YouTube  Find more resources on our website morraam.com Follow Follow me: on LinkedIn @morraaronsmele + Instagram @morraam Follow Ellen on LinkedIn @ellenhendriksen Follow Arvind on LinkedIn @arvindrajan

What if the skill that makes you a stronger leader is the same skill that protects free speech? In this episode, I’m joined by Greg Lukianoff, First Amendment attorney, to talk about emotional reasoning, why discomfort isn’t the same as danger, and what happens when we start treating speech as violence. Greg shares how his own battle with depression and suicidal thoughts led him to CBT and how learning to question his thoughts transformed both his mental health and his leadership. Get ready to rethink what makes us mentally strong and why protecting speech may also mean protecting our resilience. Check out our sponsors: Northwest Registered Agent - Protect your privacy, build your brand and get your complete business identity in just 10 clicks and 10 minutes! Visit https://www.northwestregisteredagent.com/achieverfree Shopify - Sign up for a $1 per month trial, just go to http://shopify.com/anxiousachiever Talkiatry - Head to http://talkiaitry.com/achiever and complete the short assessment to get matched with an in network psychiatrist in just a few minutes. Working Genius - Take the working genius assessment today and get 20% off with code ACHIEVER at working http://genius.com Brevo - Meet brevo, the all in one marketing and CRM platform built to help you connect with customers, boost engagement and grow your business smarter. Go to brevo.com/achiever and use code ACHIEVER50 for 50% off.  In this Episode, You Will Learn 00:00 How cognitive distortions shape modern mental health. 07:30 Why Gen X values free speech differently. 13:15 Why words can hurt and still must be protected. 17:45 When does harmful speech cross the line? 21:00 What we lose when speech is treated as violence. 27:00 What does the First Amendment actually protect? 32:00 The emotional cost of defending unpopular speech. 37:00 How depression reshaped Greg’s life and leadership. 41:30 Why CBT works for anxious achievers. 44:30 What is the connection between CBT and the mental health crisis among young people? 48:30 The 3 “great untruths” shaping modern anxiety. 51:45 Why great leaders stay intellectually humble. 55:00 Why meaningful work can stabilize mental health. 59:00 How to protect yourself from social media manipulation. 01:01:30 A CBT technique to challenge negative thoughts. Resources + Links Learn more about the Foundation for Individual Rights and Expression (FIRE) HERE Get your copy of The Coddling of the American Mind by Greg Lukianoff & Jonathan Haidt Get a copy of my book - The Anxious Achiever Watch the podcast on YouTube  Find more resources on our website morraam.com Follow Follow me: on LinkedIn @morraaronsmele + Instagram @morraam Follow Greg: on LinkedIn @greglukianoff + Instagram @glukianoff

What if the stress you feel at work isn’t just about deadlines or difficult bosses, but about your attachment style? In this episode, I’m joined by Dr. Jack Hinman, founder and executive director of Engage Young Adult Transitions, to talk about how the patterns you develop in early childhood show up in your leadership, ambition, anxiety, and burnout. We break down secure, preoccupied, and avoidant attachment styles, how they influence the way you handle feedback and uncertainty, and why your “relationship operating system” doesn’t stop at home. Tune in to understand your patterns and learn how to lead from connection instead of fear. Check out our sponsors: Northwest Registered Agent - Protect your privacy, build your brand and get your complete business identity in just 10 clicks and 10 minutes! Visit https://www.northwestregisteredagent.com/achieverfree Shopify - Sign up for a $1 per month trial, just go to http://shopify.com/anxiousachiever Talkiatry - Head to http://talkiaitry.com/achiever and complete the short assessment to get matched with an in network psychiatrist in just a few minutes. Working Genius - Take the working genius assessment today and get 20% off with code ACHIEVER at working http://genius.com Brevo - Meet brevo, the all in one marketing and CRM platform built to help you connect with customers, boost engagement and grow your business smarter. Go to brevo.com/achiever and use code ACHIEVER50 for 50% off.  In this Episode, You Will Learn 00:00 The heartbreaking monkey experiment that shaped attachment theory. 06:30 What's the difference among secure, preoccupied, avoidant, and disorganized styles? 10:00 What happens when a preoccupied employee has an avoidant boss. 11:15 How does avoidant attachment show up in leadership? 15:45 What “secure” actually looks like at work. 18:45 How to “own the dynamic” in difficult workplace relationships. 20:30 Self-awareness is the foundation of good leadership. 23:00 Why uncertainty and change activate attachment patterns. 25:15 Why connection is both the outcome and the intervention. 28:45 What happens when two anxious leaders feed each other’s stress. 31:15 Why “anchors” are essential for healing attachment patterns. 34:45 Tools to regulate attachment triggers. Resources + Links Learn more about Dr. Jack Hinman and Engage Young Adult Transitions HERE! Learn more about Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) skills and resources HERE! Get a copy of my book - The Anxious Achiever Watch the podcast on YouTube  Find more resources on our website morraam.com Follow Follow me: on LinkedIn @morraaronsmele + Instagram @morraam

What if the biggest obstacle to your performance isn’t your workload or your leadership challenges, but your own mind? In this episode, I sit down with Shirzad Chamine, founder and CEO of Positive Intelligence, to talk about the habits many anxious achievers rely on to succeed (i.e. hypervigilance, perfectionism, control, and constant striving), but that can drain energy, clarity, and confidence over time. Shirzad breaks down how overused strengths turn into self-sabotage, and the 10-second practice that helps you shift from stress and reactivity into calm, focused leadership. Get ready to learn how to work with your mind instead of against it. Check out our sponsors: Northwest Registered Agent - Protect your privacy, build your brand and get your complete business identity in just 10 clicks and 10 minutes! Visit https://www.northwestregisteredagent.com/achieverfree Shopify - Sign up for a $1 per month trial, just go to http://shopify.com/anxiousachiever Talkiatry - Head to http://talkiaitry.com/achiever and complete the short assessment to get matched with an in network psychiatrist in just a few minutes. Working Genius - Take the working genius assessment today and get 20% off with code ACHIEVER at working http://genius.com Brevo - Meet brevo, the all in one marketing and CRM platform built to help you connect with customers, boost engagement and grow your business smarter. Go to brevo.com/achiever and use code ACHIEVER50 for 50% off.  In this Episode, You Will Learn 00:00 Why your mind can feel like your greatest ally and your biggest obstacle. 06:15 The 3 ways you judge yourself, others, and circumstances. 12:00 What's the difference between helpful emotions and self-sabotage? 14:15 Can anger and stress ever be productive? 18:00 The biological reason stress creates tunnel vision in high-stakes decisions. 20:00 What’s the real cost of overusing your strengths as a leader? 26:15 The shift that turns a leader’s vigilance from a strength into a liability. 31:15 The 5 Sage powers that improve wellbeing and results. 38:30 A 10-second PQ rep to calm anxiety fast. 41:00 Active grounding practices for restless or anxious minds. 48:00 How the Sage perspective turns any circumstance into a gift or opportunity. 56:45 Why hyper-achievement disconnects self-worth from success. 1:00:30 The shift from conditional to unconditional self-acceptance. Resources + Links Take the FREE Positive Intelligence assessment HERE Get your copy of Shirzad Chamine’s book Positive Intelligence: Why Only 20% of Teams and Individuals Achieve Their True Potential and How You Can Achieve Yours HERE Learn more about Positive Intelligence programs HERE Get a copy of my book - The Anxious Achiever Watch the podcast on YouTube  Find more resources on our website morraam.com Follow Follow me: on LinkedIn @morraaronsmele + Instagram @morraam Follow Shirzad on LinkedIn @shirzadchamine