Ego Death Is The Only Way Through with Meredith Arthur

This week we’re sharing a special episode from our friends at How To!, the 2026 Ambie Award-nominated “Best Personal Growth Podcast” that’s back with a new host and new topics to fuel your curiosity.  Each week on How To!, award-winning journalist Mike Pesca tackles a listener’s question – on topics ranging from travel and finance to health and relationships – with help from world-class experts who actually know what they're talking about. Think of it as eavesdropping on someone else's therapy session, without the co-pay or awkward silence.  And today, we’re sharing their recent episode “How To Take Psychedelics for Your Mental Health” where Mike interviews psychiatrist Will Van der Veer, a psychedelic researcher, and Myq Kaplan who has taken psychedelics for his mental health and other reasons. I love this episode because you get to hear a bunch of personal experiences of medical psychedelics and learn more about this emerging treatment for mental health conditions.  And for more interviews like this, make sure to follow How To! on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts. And tell them we sent you.

Why do so many capable, high-performing people end up exhausted, and emotionally drained even when they’re doing everything “right”? In this episode, I sit with psychologist Dr. Thomas Greenspon to talk about perfectionism, shame, and self-worth. Thomas breaks down why perfectionism isn’t actually about excellence, then entrepreneur Eleanor Beaton shares how perfectionism shaped her leadership, ambition, and identity and what changed when she stopped chasing perfection and started embracing wholeness instead. Get ready to rethink the way you work, care for others, and define success. Check out our sponsors: Shopify - Sign up for a $1 per month trial, just go to shopify.com/anxiousachiever Chime - Head to chime.com/achiever to sign up Quince - Head to quince.com/ACHIEVER for free shipping on your order and 365-day returns Monarch - Use code ACHIEVER at monarch.com to get 50% off your first year Physician’s Choice - Use code PCPODCAST10 at physicianschoice.com to get 10% off your entire order In this Episode, You Will Learn 00:00 What is perfectionism? 08:30 What’s the difference between perfectionism and the pursuit of excellence? 10:00 How perfectionism becomes a coping mechanism for anxiety. 14:30 What’s the connection between perfectionism, depression, and hopelessness? 17:00 How childhood experiences shape perfectionism. 20:45 Why humans are wired for connection and belonging. 22:45 How modern culture rewards perfectionism and overachievement. 23:30 What can parents do to help perfectionistic kids? 25:45 The 4 things that help people overcome perfectionism. 32:45 Why perfectionism disconnects you from our wholeness. 35:30 How perfectionism delays growth and keeps people stuck. 41:00 Why entrepreneurship becomes personal development work. 44:00 How perfectionism shows up as avoidance and overwork. 46:30 What are the signs that perfectionism is running your life? Resources + Links Get a copy of my book - The Anxious Achiever Watch the podcast on YouTube  Find more resources on our website morraam.com Follow Follow me: on LinkedIn @morraaronsmele + Instagram @morraam

What if the problem isn’t your brain, but the systems you’ve spent your life trying to fit into? In this episode, I sit down with David Flink, founder of the Neurodiversity Alliance. We talk about what it means to navigate work, leadership, and identity as a neurodivergent person. David shares how he learned to stop forcing himself into systems that didn’t fit, how metacognition changed his life, and why today’s younger workers are approaching neurodivergence differently. Get ready to build your life around your strengths instead of constantly trying to fix your weaknesses.  Check out our sponsors: Shopify - Sign up for a $1 per month trial, just go to shopify.com/anxiousachiever Chime - Head to chime.com/achiever to sign up Quince - Head to quince.com/ACHIEVER for free shipping on your order and 365-day returns Monarch - Use code ACHIEVER at monarch.com to get 50% off your first year Physician’s Choice - Use code PCPODCAST10 at physicianschoice.com to get 10% off your entire order In this Episode, You Will Learn 00:00 How do you define leadership? 04:00 What became easier for you as you got older as a neurodivergent leader? 08:00 The strengths David has come to love about his dyslexic ADHD brain. 11:15 Why neurodivergent adults spend years unlearning shame. 17:15 Why kids need to become detectives of their own learning styles. 19:00 What metacognition means and why it matters so much. 24:00 Don't let your current environment define your potential. 27:45 Why neurodivergent people often develop extraordinary resilience. 31:15 Can workplaces change for neurodivergent employees? 37:15 How remote work transformed David’s company culture. 41:30 Why Gen Z approaches disability and neurodivergence differently. 45:15 How focusing on deficits causes companies to miss great talent. 47:30 What happens to neurodivergence in midlife. 51:45 What is inter-able relationship? 54:15 Why the best teams are built around complementary strengths. Resources + Links Pre-order your copy of David Flink’s book, 20% Smarter HERE Get a copy of my book - The Anxious Achiever Watch the podcast on YouTube  Find more resources on our website morraam.com Follow Follow me: on LinkedIn @morraaronsmele + Instagram @morraam Follow David on LinkedIn @dflink

Why does AI feel so personal to so many professionals right now? In this episode, I talk with Nilay Patel, editor-in-chief of The Verge, about the emotional side of artificial intelligence and why so much of the fear around AI may actually be about work itself. We dive into how layoffs, shrinking trust in employers, “good enough” automation, and constant technological change are reshaping the way ambitious people think about stability, creativity, and their future careers. Nilay shares why humans naturally form emotional relationships with technology, why AI companions and chatbots can feel strangely comforting, and why today’s AI hype may be running ahead of reality. Tune in to learn how AI is reshaping work, identity, and ambition. Check out our sponsors: Shopify - Sign up for a $1 per month trial, just go to shopify.com/anxiousachiever Chime - Head to chime.com/achiever to sign up Quince - Head to quince.com/ACHIEVER for free shipping on your order and 365-day returns Monarch - Use code ACHIEVER at monarch.com to get 50% off your first year Physician’s Choice - Use code PCPODCAST10 at physicianschoice.com to get 10% off your entire order In this Episode, You Will Learn 00:00 Why AI feels emotionally threatening at work right now. 03:15 Why humans form emotional relationships with technology. 05:15 How social media is engineered to shape emotions and behavior. 10:00 Why the media frames AI as an existential threat. 12:15 What are the jobs already being affected by generative AI? 16:30 Can AI become a better therapist, mentor, or manager than humans? 21:30 Why constructive criticism and “teeth” matter in management. 24:00 The fear that AI will devalue expertise and creativity. 27:45 Why large language models can’t actually create original ideas. 30:13 How to think about expertise and career growth in the age of AI. 32:30 Why democratizing creative tools changes entire industries. 37:30 What happens when the middle of the labor market disappears? 40:30 Is AI actually as transformative as people claim? 43:45 Why tech companies are failing to help workers emotionally adapt. 45:30 Nilay’s advice for CEOs and billionaires building AI products. Resources + Links Get a copy of my book - The Anxious Achiever Watch the podcast on YouTube  Find more resources on our website morraam.com Follow Follow me: on LinkedIn @morraaronsmele + Instagram @morraam Follow Nilay: on LinkedIn @nilaypatel + Instagram @reckless1280

What happens when a leader realizes the traits they spent years hiding are actually their greatest strengths? In this episode, I talk with Amy Streater Wilson, Chief Marketing Officer, who was diagnosed later in life with ADHD and autism. Amy shares the shame and confusion that can come with a late diagnosis, from struggling with “boring” tasks to feeling overwhelmed by sensory input and social dynamics at work. We also dive into negotiation and selling through a neurodivergent lens, why many neurodivergent people struggle with traditional power dynamics, and how understanding neurodivergence can transform the way you lead, negotiate, communicate, and work with others.  Check out our sponsors: Shopify - Sign up for a $1 per month trial, just go to shopify.com/anxiousachiever Chime - Head to chime.com/achiever to sign up Quince - Head to quince.com/ACHIEVER for free shipping on your order and 365-day returns Monarch - Use code ACHIEVER at monarch.com to get 50% off your first year Physician’s Choice - Use code PCPODCAST10 at physicianschoice.com to get 10% off your entire order In this Episode, You Will Learn 00:00 The shame many neurodivergent adults carry before diagnosis. 05:30 What is neurodivergence? 07:45 What does leadership mean to you? 10:45 Why neurodivergent people often struggle with dishonesty and mixed signals. 13:30 What’s the difference between internal anxiety and external performance? 19:45 How reading body language can be a negotiation superpower. 25:15 The pressure neurodivergent women feel to make everyone comfortable. 31:30 How BATNA reduces anxiety in difficult negotiations. 35:45 How to sell without pretending to be someone else. 39:30 How to spot manipulation and dishonesty quickly. 45:15 The downside of being “too direct” at work. 48:30 Why autonomy and agency matter to neurodivergent people. 55:00 What’s your advice for neurodivergent people trying to advocate for themselves? Resources + Links Get a copy of my book - The Anxious Achiever Watch the podcast on YouTube  Find more resources on our website morraam.com Follow Follow me: on LinkedIn @morraaronsmele + Instagram @morraam Follow Amy on LinkedIn: @amywilson24601

What happens when stress, uncertainty, and lack of control start to take over your brain? In this episode, I sit down with renowned behavioral economist Dan Ariely to talk about resilience, learned helplessness, anxiety, and why so many people feel overwhelmed right now. Dan shares how surviving severe burns, years in the hospital, and later facing conspiracy theories and death threats shaped his understanding of stress, resilience, and human behavior. We also dive into why uncertainty at work feels so psychologically destabilizing, how scarcity and anxiety reduce our mental capacity, why humans look for villains during stressful times, and what actually helps us build resilience. Tune in to learn ways to regain agency when life feels chaotic. Check out our sponsors: Shopify - Sign up for a $1 per month trial, just go to shopify.com/anxiousachiever Chime - Head to chime.com/achiever to sign up Quince - Head to quince.com/ACHIEVER for free shipping on your order and 365-day returns Monarch - Use code ACHIEVER at monarch.com to get 50% off your first year Physician’s Choice - Use code PCPODCAST10 at physicianschoice.com to get 10% off your entire order In this Episode, You Will Learn 00:00 Why starting something new can help you feel unstuck. 03:45 The mental health benefits of walking with friends. 08:35 Why invisible mental health struggles feel more isolating. 11:00 What workplaces still misunderstand about neurodiversity. 16:15 How physical limitations forced Dan to think more creatively. 19:15 Why uncertainty and unpredictability increase anxiety at work. 22:30 Why does modern life making you less resilient? 24:15 How layoffs and workplace uncertainty create learned helplessness. 29:15 The strategy performers use to stay engaged and motivated. 33:30 Why anxiety consumes your brain’s “CPU.” 36:45 Why humans look for villains during stressful times. 38:15 How negative narratives reshape the way you see people. Resources + Links Get a copy of my book - The Anxious Achiever Watch the podcast on YouTube  Find more resources on our website morraam.com Follow Follow me: on LinkedIn @morraaronsmele + Instagram @morraam

What happens when the version of success you built your life around suddenly stops working? In this episode, I sit down with Meredith Arthur to talk about ego death, anxiety, nervous system healing, and what it means to let go of the need to prove yourself. We talk about career humiliation, social media comparison, identity, chronic pain, and the process of realizing that the things that once made you feel successful or special no longer fit who you are becoming. Meredith shares how ego death is about surrendering control and accepting that your worth cannot come from achievement, productivity, attention, or external validation. Tune in to learn the healing practices to reconnect with yourself. Check out our sponsors: Shopify - Sign up for a $1 per month trial, just go to shopify.com/anxiousachiever Chime - Head to chime.com/achiever to sign up Quince - Head to quince.com/ACHIEVER for free shipping on your order and 365-day returns Monarch - Use code ACHIEVER at monarch.com to get 50% off your first year Physician’s Choice - Use code PCPODCAST10 at physicianschoice.com to get 10% off your entire order In this Episode, You Will Learn 00:00 Why success, validation, and recognition can become your identity. 06:15 What does ego death mean to you? 10:00 Solutions for letting go of control and external validation. 16:30 Why ego death happens in layers over time. 18:30 How anxiety fuels the need to feel special or secure. 25:30 What is nervous system regulation? 29:15 How chronic pain led Meredith into mind-body healing work. 36:00 How to process emotional pain without shutting down. 41:45 Using symbols, imagery, and intuition to understand emotional healing. 45:00 Spirituality, energy, and finding support beyond achievement. 51:45 Why surrender is central to ego death. 55:45 How to think differently about work in midlife. Resources + Links Learn more about Meredith Arthur’s work HERE! Get a copy of my book - The Anxious Achiever Watch the podcast on YouTube  Find more resources on our website morraam.com Follow Follow me: on LinkedIn @morraaronsmele + Instagram @morraam Follow Meredith: @bevoya

Think imposter syndrome means something is wrong with you? Think again. In this episode, Basima Tewfik shares research on anxiety, self-doubt, and the traits high achievers often try to “fix.” She breaks down how workplace imposter thoughts can actually make you more effective, especially when it comes to how you show up with others. We also talk about why people who experience imposter thoughts are often better listeners, more thoughtful collaborators, and more attuned in conversations. Remember, not everything you label as a flaw is actually holding you back. Check out our sponsors: Shopify - Sign up for a $1 per month trial, just go to shopify.com/anxiousachiever Chime - Head to chime.com/achiever to sign up Quince - Head to Quince.com/ACHIEVER for free shipping on your order and 365-day returns Monarch - Use code ACHIEVER at monarch.com to get 50% off your first year In this Episode, You Will Learn 00:00 Why the traits you think are “bad” might actually be strengths. 04:15 What are the cognitive advantages of anxiety and neuroticism? 06:15 What is imposter syndrome? 10:15 Why imposter thoughts might mean you’re doing something right. 12:00 The surprising link between self-doubt and interpersonal effectiveness. 14:30 How imposter thoughts make you a better listener and collaborator. 19:45 The “I’m a banana” technique to defuse intrusive thoughts. 24:00 How anxiety can actually fuel creativity. 28:30 Why you’re probably harder on yourself than anyone else is. 32:00 How to work with anxiety instead of fighting it. 35:00 What’s the difference between feeling like an imposter and not belonging? 41:00 Why imposter syndrome isn’t just personal. Resources + Links Learn more about Basima Tufek’s research at MIT Sloan HERE! Get a copy of my book - The Anxious Achiever Watch the podcast on YouTube  Find more resources on our website morraam.com Follow Follow me: on LinkedIn @morraaronsmele + Instagram @morraam

Feeling unsure about your role in a world where AI seems to know more than you do? In this episode, Charlene Li is back to talk about how the most effective leaders today are letting go of the need to have all the answers and instead stepping into curiosity, experimentation, and honest leadership. Charlene shares her 90-day AI framework, why so many companies are stuck in pilot mode, and how to move your team from fear into confidence faster than you think. Get ready to lead through AI change without needing all the answers. Check out our sponsors: Shopify - Sign up for a $1 per month trial, just go to shopify.com/anxiousachiever Chime - Head to chime.com/achiever to sign up Quince - Head to quince.com/ACHIEVER for free shipping on your order and 365-day returns Monarch - Use code ACHIEVER at monarch.com to get 50% off your first year In this Episode, You Will Learn 00:00 Why does leadership today require letting go of certainty? 04:15 What can leaders realistically promise about jobs right now? 07:30 How to move forward without waiting for certainty. 12:00 Charlene’s 90-day AI sprint framework for leaders and organizations. 16:30 Why you do not need to be technical to start using AI. 20:00 Ways to use AI as a second brain to improve performance. 28:00 The generational divide in how people see AI. 34:00 What’s the gap between knowing, doing, and leading? 39:30 The shift from fear to adaptability. 42:00 Why leadership will define how AI shapes the future. Resources + Links Learn more about Charlene Li HERE! Get your copy of Charlene’s book, Winning with AI, HERE! Get a copy of my book - The Anxious Achiever Watch the podcast on YouTube  Find more resources on our website morraam.com Follow Follow me: on LinkedIn @morraaronsmele + Instagram @morraam Follow Charlene: on LinkedIn @charleneli + Youtube @CharleneLi

What if burnout isn’t something you fix with better habits, but something built into the way we work? In this episode, I’m bringing back one of my favorite conversations because it gets at something I think we still don’t talk about enough. I talk with Rita McGrath, Poornima Luthra & Andrew Barnes about what actually makes work feel sustainable and human, why getting people back into the office doesn’t fix anything, how lack of control and fairness quietly drive stress, and why so many well-intentioned solutions miss the mark. Get ready to rethink burnout and see what actually needs to change at work. Check out our sponsors: Shopify - Sign up for a $1 per month trial, just go to shopify.com/anxiousachiever Chime - Head to chime.com/achiever to sign up Monarch - Use code ACHIEVER at monarch.com to get 50% off your first year In this Episode, You Will Learn 00:00 What’s the problem with scaling workplaces and losing humanity? 04:45 Ways to build a stronger team connection. 07:15 What actually defines a “good job”? 09:15 Why perks don’t fix mental health at work. 13:00 What the 4-day workweek reveals about productivity. 17:45 Why time matters more than money for employees 22:30 How bias and inequity increase stress at work. 25:15 Why inclusion improves mental health and performance. 32:00 How better listening improves team culture. 37:30 How leaders can reduce uncertainty for their teams. 42:30 Why inclusive cultures create more resilient organizations. 44:15 Leadership habits that improve team wellbeing. 48:03 The leadership shift that changes how work feels. Resources + Links Get a copy of my book - The Anxious Achiever Watch the podcast on YouTube  Find more resources on our website morraam.com Follow Follow me: on LinkedIn @morraaronsmele + Instagram @morraam