291: Tiki Teacher

Remember when Dirk had two jobs and Simon enjoyed his time as a Person of Leisure? Fast forward half a year and here we are. Dirk no longer works at the city council and, as if being an ambassador isn't enough, the Tikibari asked Simon to be a teacher too. When he'll be teaching what to whom for what salary and in which currency is all yet to be decided. So we use most of today's episode to bring each other up to date on whatever's happening on our respective planets. Think Vikings! Think turtles! Think clocks!To confirm this episode went back in time, please email [email protected] with the episode number 291 in the subject line. We may even respond to your message in a future episode.Chapters00:00 - Preview00:09 - Hello00:34 - Introduction01:59 - Space Turtle Vikings09:06 - Tikibari Days12:42 - Explaining O'Clock15:21 - Tiki Teacher17:52 - Listener Email from Amalia19:38 - Crème Brûlée?20:02 - Outroduction20:35 - GoodbyeCreditsEpisode Art: Math Blackboard Education by Chuk YongOpening Theme: Over 100 Jaar by Klein OrkestClosing Theme: Chiquitita by ABBAAlmost Everything Else: Simon & Dirk

Okay, so, the plan was to record remotely while each of us was eating half a cake. Then challenges and opportunities arose! Among the challenges; how to organise half a cake on Tikibar? And how to organise half a cake on Earth? Among the opportunities; a leap week, an Ufer, and a demibakery!To confirm this episode went back in time, please email [email protected] with the episode number 290 in the subject line. We may even respond to your message in a future episode.Chapters00:00 - Preview00:11 - Hello00:35 - Introduction01:29 - Leap Week04:09 - Rogue Ufer08:16 - Demi Cake11:55 - Outroduction12:21 - GoodbyeCreditsEpisode Art: Cake Cream Strawberry by Sharon AngTheme Music: Over 100 Jaar by Klein OrkestAlmost Everything Else: Simon & Dirk

It's finally time to open that mystery box that Dirk gave Simon on his departure. In it are so called power-ups. They're hidden in question mark blocks, which you can place in mid-air. How cool is that! What happens when you then punch the blocks? Get ready to find out!To confirm this episode went back in time, please email [email protected] with the episode number 289 in the subject line. We may even respond to your message in a future episode.Chapters00:00 - Preview00:15 - Hello00:40 - Introduction02:54 - Five Years09:14 - Box of Power-Ups22:44 - Grand Theft Hoverboard24:06 - Outroduction24:42 - GoodbyeCreditsEpisode Art: Mushroom Toadstool Fall by JürgenTheme Music: Over 100 Jaar by Klein OrkestAlmost Everything Else: Simon & Dirk

A quick warning: this is one of those weeks where we don't manage to get past the catching-up part of the show. If you were hoping for the newest news on the newest novelty, then feel free to move along. If you were eager to find out if - and how - they eat on Tikibar, this is just the right episode for you!To confirm this episode went back in time, please email [email protected] with the episode number 288 in the subject line. We may even respond to your message in a future episode.Chapters00:00 - Preview00:13 - Hello00:37 - Introduction02:42 - Grandaddy's Home06:34 - It's Freezing Out There15:03 - Listener Email from Camilla17:10 - Outroduction17:45 - GoodbyeCreditsEpisode Art: Frost Frozen Hoarfrost by Willfried WendeTheme Music: Over 100 Jaar by Klein OrkestAlmost Everything Else: Simon & Dirk

Now, whose voice might that be? Indeed, it's Simon, live from Tikibar! Intergalactic communication seems to be working, the Low Fidelity Wave Burner seems to have arrived in one piece, and the same applies to Simon himself. In this episode, Simon summarises his first four weeks on the recently discovered alien planet to Dirk and the listeners. Among other things, we cover the trip itself, the local housing situation and some odd alien customs.To confirm this episode went back in time, please email [email protected] with the episode number 287 in the subject line. We may even respond to your message in a future episode.Chapters00:00 - Preview00:13 - Hello00:39 - Introduction05:23 - Travelling to Tikibar10:54 - Life on Tikibar28:19 - Outroduction29:17 - GoodbyeCreditsEpisode Art: Incense Sticks Drying by Xuan DuongTheme Music: Over 100 Jaar by Klein OrkestAlmost Everything Else: Simon & Dirk

What do you do when you really want to ship something to a friend on a faraway planet but the regular shuttle there doesn't leave for a while yet? You wait? Maybe that's what people who don't host a podcast do, but Dirk simply tries to find a pilot who can take care of the shipment ASAP. And what better place to find that pilot than in a leaky canteen in the middle of the desert?To confirm this episode went back in time, please email [email protected] with the episode number 286 in the subject line. We may even respond to your message in a future episode.Chapters00:00 - Preview00:10 - Hello00:35 - Introduction01:19 - Space Port08:44 - Listener Email from iPod Irene09:50 - Outroduction10:11 - GoodbyeCreditsEpisode Art: Raisting Satellite Reception by Michael MisofTheme Music: Over 100 Jaar by Klein OrkestAlmost Everything Else: Simon & Dirk

Well, we know where Simon is, but what's up with Dirk? You see, this week, neither of the hosts were actually there to record. Luckily, we can always count on Dirk's trusty Personal Assistant, Mr. Dobalina. He will bring you up to date, sneak in an opinion or two for the careful listener and, who would've thunk it, he'll read another poem too.To confirm this episode went back in time, please email [email protected] with the episode number 285 in the subject line. We may even respond to your message in a future episode.Chapters00:00 - Preview00:05 - Hello00:30 - Introduction01:35 - Updates02:39 - Mr. Jones03:03 - GoodbyeCreditsMr. Dobalina: Daniel by ApplePoem: Mr. Jones by Counting CrowsEpisode Art: Technology Control Panel Buttons by Thomas WolterOpening Theme: Mistadobalina by Del the Funky HomosapienClosing Theme: Mr. Jones by Counting CrowsAlmost Everything Else: Simon & Dirk

This episode experiences several problems. First of all, Simon is all the way across the universe. Second, Dirk isn't. Third, the fact that we have fast space travel apparently doesn't mean that we have fast intergalactic communication. Or any intergalactic communication for that matter. So, time for a monologue!To confirm this episode went back in time, please email [email protected] with the episode number 284 in the subject line. We may even respond to your message in a future episode.Chapters00:00 - Preview00:10 - Hello00:35 - Introduction01:06 - Home Alone06:01 - Listener Email from Haakon07:45 - Outroduction08:28 - GoodbyeCreditsEpisode Art: Nature Landscape Background by Simon BergerTheme Music: Over 100 Jaar by Klein OrkestAlmost Everything Else: Simon & Dirk

Simon's shuttle is leaving in a few minutes, but we manage to squeeze in one more episode beforehand, live from the shuttle station itself! From next week onwards, we'll be recording from two different locations - from two different galaxies even. So, did Simon bring everything he'll need? Did Dirk sneak in a surprise box? Is it Alpha Aliquid or Alpha Aquilid? And why do some shuttles pass by the station without stopping? Until next time!To confirm this episode went back in time, please email [email protected] with the episode number 283 in the subject line. We may even respond to your message in a future episode.Chapters00:00 - Preview00:07 - Hello00:32 - Introduction00:58 - Off to Tikibar20:36 - Outroduction21:12 - GoodbyeCreditsEpisode Art: Formosa Boulevard Station by Allan LauTheme Music: Over 100 Jaar by Klein OrkestAlmost Everything Else: Simon & Dirk

How is laundry done in the 23rd century? You'll find out in this episode! And how was laundry done in the 21st century? Dirk will find out in this episode! And how is laundry done on Planet Tikibar? Simon will find out in a next episode! Because he will move there very soon. Which explains why we're even talking about doing laundry. Lots of clothes to clean beforehand!To confirm this episode went back in time, please email [email protected] with the episode number 282 in the subject line. We may even respond to your message in a future episode.Chapters00:00 - Preview00:08 - Hello00:32 - Introduction04:40 - Laundry Day30:02 - Outroduction30:37 - GoodbyeCreditsEpisode Art: Steam Roller Construction Machine by Roland 4D PippesTheme Music: Over 100 Jaar by Klein OrkestAlmost Everything Else: Simon & Dirk