Quantum Love - a new personal professional bridge from where I was to where I am going
Stardust Bones 2025 - Teaching Painting from one of the last Intentional Creativity Certifications, this is the painting that sparked the change. This is my story in a single image with hundreds of stories within…
Dear Ones,
Today I’m reminded of a letter that I received in 2020 from our Elder Carmen Baraka. It was written to me and Jonathan, and here’s one quote that I love. “To know you are between worlds, the I am that I am. I am most comfortable here in this place of giving and receiving. In this place of quantum identity where you find out and can feel this realm in a profound way. An actual view that we are all interconnected in alignment with the stars. When you can actually experience what you feel is your deepest truth. Hold it in your hand and have it be tangible. That is the gift. That is pure joy. That is the awakening.” Carmen Baraka. For those of you that don’t know, Carmen was our indigenous elder within all of our communities. We got to guide ceremony together for over 10 years. She walked into her future in 2021 right before my mom, Caron McCloud So today, I’m signaling a change (breathing)
And I want to begin with acknowledging that everyone in our community of Musea is a part of my life. MUSEA means many museums and many muses in the plural. MUSEA goes on. The Intentional Creativity Foundation, our 501c3, will continue with Musea. MUSEA is the greater community, a collective.
My art studio, is just one MUSEA, albeit it’s an important one. Yet I am taking my position as another artist in the lineage of Intentional Creativity Teachings, and I remain the Co-founder with Jonathan McCloud. Yet, it is essential for me at this time to curate my personal part of our work. Since 2008, the first legend, I’ve been bringing forth the lineage teachings as they came through. Nine certifications later, I am complete with that particular transmission with the last Legend and the last Color of Woman that I will personally lead. And all of that completes in March 2026 with our All Tribes Gathering, which is for Graduates and Guild members of the certifications.
Legend was a significant course for me. Because before 2008, I had already created a million dollars worth of revenue with my paintings. I had galleries in San Francisco and Sausalito, Sonoma and Mendocino. I was living the life of a fine artist and having pretty incredible success, all things considered. But then it occurred to me….
And I remember because I was with Mary MacDonald, it occurred to me that maybe what people wanted instead of my paintings, well not instead, but like more than my paintings, is to be able to paint their own. They were drawn to my images so powerfully, it was more than just about a painting.
We took the huge leap and we decided to teach the first legend. Mary, my mother Caron, and my other mother Sue sat down at the table that’s right in this room with me, that I call the Feast Table of Love. We sat down and we reverse engineered a way to make a painting. ALSO let it be known that it was Mary MacDonald that said -
“Let’s turn on the camera and see what she does”The rest is herstory.
Because even though I had the opportunity to be trained in painting, we say Painting with a capital P, which is a more fine art way of painting, I did not take well to it. And Sue had to create what she called “a way of working” which is not, in her world, painting with a capital P.
It’s like making a way through for someone who really isn’t able to follow the how to paint instructions. And so Legend was literally the reverse engineering of the 13 steps of how to make a painting, if you don’t know how to paint, that Sue designed for me. And we labeled them and named them. And now we’ve taught it. literally to thousands and thousands and thousands of people and probably over 800 graduates who learned the 13 steps. And it literally still works to this day… and when I’m teaching paintings of the feminine form, I still use almost the exact formula because it’s basically a build.
My husband at the time, Isaiah, was so concerned that if I taught people my method, we would lose all of our money. And guess what? I thought we wouldn’t. And guess what? We did. There was a moment at the completion of that marriage, actually, when we went to zero after creating so much abundance for ourselves and investing so heavily in community.
It turns out Intentional Creativity and the feminine image is what women wanted. They wanted to paint their own image more than they wanted to purchase my paintings. I still sell paintings, by the way. I have lots available lol. But now thousands and thousands of people have their own images instead of mine. What an incredible journey. So it took a while to rebuild with this model. But at that moment, something happened… I moved out of the individual serving my own creative desire and I moved into this bigger framework of serving the community with the feminine image. There’s so much behind why that matters, and why that’s important and how we’ve had 40,000 years of images of the feminine and then the past 5,000 to 8,000 years intentional silencing and erasing of the feminine and her presence. When women reclaim the feminine image it is so huge, and to do that instead of my own paintings has been so powerful!!And it’s also emotional because my style changed dramatically to reverse engineer it for others. I look at my paintings before I started teaching and I wonder where I’d be.. how I might have developed… a but I really did put my work in service to creation. I really did do the great work of the Ancestors. I really did bring through what my mothers taught me, and with the help of Mary MacDonald and Jennifer Owen and Elizabeth Gibbons in particular, brought forward Intentional Creativity at an all gorgeous level. I then taught it since 2008 until this year. I didn’t expect to get so emotional. Tears flowing.
So it is essential for me at this time to begin my own work with painting and writing. And it will still be in service to the community, but in a different way because it won’t be certifications which require such a high level of integrity and management. The certifications will continue to be managed by the Intentional Creativity Foundation, our 501 c3.
My own work begins now
and of course it’s still connected with all of you. It’s called the Stardust Lineage. It’s the evolution of Cosmic Cowgirls, whose anniversary founding is today in 2004. I have no idea what my new work is going to be yet, and I suspect that the new work is the old work in different forms. Especially this year because I’m crossing a bridge of change and going one step at a time across that bridge. I’m not running across. I still have lots of work to do to complete, and it’s utterly overwhelming to complete a legacy while you’re alive. (More tears)
Of course, whatever I do will be connected with MUSEA. Of course, whatever I do is coming from the Ancestors, and it’s also my work now. Of course, Intentional Creativity will continue. That is my work and many of our work. But it’s time for me, having delivered what feels like the great work of the ancestors, to now begin to reveal my own. The work started when they were living, but continues after. And so many of the teachings, they came through my “shiloh filter” but they weren’t really from me. I could never just bring that out. I think of Carl Jung’s Red Book where he said that there was more than enough material for one lifetime and that it was so much that it threatened to break him.
In 1957, near the end of his life, Jung spoke about the Red Book and the process which yielded it; in that interview he stated:
“The years… when I pursued the inner images, were the most important time of my life. Everything else is to be derived from this. It began at that time, and the later details hardly matter anymore. My entire life consisted in elaborating what had burst forth from the unconscious and flooded me like an enigmatic stream and threatened to break me. That was the stuff and material for more than only one life. Everything later was merely the outer classification, scientific elaboration, and the integration into life. But the numinous beginning, which contained everything, was then.”
For me, there were moments when there was so much coming through, I was like how am I gonna get this all down in time??!!?? And I did it. And I did it with all of you who participated in the certification. I don’t know what my work is going to mean from now on. I know that I had to do Path of Mystics, guiding women to develop their intuition and their spiritual gifts as a part of it. I have a teaching for healers and entrepreneurship. That’s a part of it. I mean, I’m going to keep teaching because that’s what I am. I’m just not going to do the certification. I’m also changing the name of the Sonoma property from MUSEA Center to Stardust Ranch. That’s a part of it. Stardust Ranch is a MUSEA Center. It’s just that holding and financing the entire container for the community isn’t something I can physically and financially do anymore. I have to make it more personal to me and my work because most of the time, I’m there by myself. it’s a huge space to be in, 6,500 square feet and it’s a community space but the community is not there like except for events and that’s like one or two times a month. So I have to make it my own somehow in order to continue. But we’re still a MUSEA Center. All right, let me get through this. The truth is that my brain has been entirely occupied with the certifications and the structure of the community, aka the corporation, the legality, the paperwork. Oh my gosh, I have like four corporations. It’s just insane. I want something much more simple for myself. And I haven’t had the spaciousness to develop my own work. I really haven’t. I haven’t developed my own painting.
There just wasn’t enough hours and brains in the day. This work had to come through and I let it because this work was the work of this lifetime. It’s work for these times. Intentional Creativity is what to do in times of chaos and suffering. It just is. It works. It helps every time.
I believe in Intentional Creativity so powerfully… and I I don’t regret it, although I have my moments. As most of you know, I didn’t get to have children. I wanted to. And many miscarriages. And I think of that one child who kept trying to come through as an ancestor now, Her name is Musette. She’s mine and Jonathan’s love child. And the mother love that I had for that child, literally since the time I was born, I knew she was coming. That love went into this work. I gave the mother love I had into the community and this matriarchal space that we co-create.
So I want you to know I’m not stepping out. I’m stepping in. But as the artist and as the author. Here I go. Oh, so slowly. Slowly. The reveal is almost suspenseful as my Soul is offering only one little glimmer at a time. And this is all I can take, really.
Because I still have months and months of work and paperwork and emails to edit and pages to build to complete this cycle in a good way. As you likely know, some of you don’t. My beautiful husband, Jonathan, and I, we completed our marriage at the end of last year, 12-31-2025. Our deep abiding friendship and connection is growing daily. And we’ve spent lots of time together over the past couple weeks. Including today, we’re going to be together. We are teaching a new Apothecary based on his work called Chaos is the New Black. And the class is Apothecary, which was always his curriculum. But this one is going to be even more so rooted in his work. And I’m the backup singer on this one. On 12-12, the feast day of Our Lady, with the support of my CFO (Jen) and my best friend Amy Ahlers and Jonathan and Michelle Pappe and Ali Stoddard and many community members on so many levels, I moved to Sonoma Mountain. Sonoma Mountain is the birthplace of creation of the Coastal Miwok people and is in the glen called Glen Ellen. This is actually one of the places of my first significant trauma of being removed from my home because we were under threat because my family was protecting women. Interestingly enough, I had a space clearing person clear the ranch in another part of Sonoma County, like 20 minutes from here. And they said I was forcibly removed from that property in another lifetime. So I have this pattern of being removed against my will. And then the fires just perpetuated that.
So I find it interesting that I’m back on the mountain to complete my life here. I pray I never have to move. And if I do, then I accept that. But I’m moving in as if I’m going to stay forever. There’s a burnt ridge out my bedroom window and it reminds me that everything is temporary and I honor that…and so unless fire or flood make me move I’m hoping to stay here. I am grateful to have purchased a home with the generosity of the Ancestors who made it possible. Because I did not personally have enough to make it happen. But my Ancestors made an offering that’s old, old, from my grandparents on my father’s side. And I was able to purchase this home with the down payment. Humbled, grateful, in awe.Meanwhile, the world around us needs Intentional Creativity more than ever. And even with that need of the world, I need to find a way to myself, my original Legendary self.
My first legend painting is coming true now. This is that place, and Stardust Ranch, is that ranch where my Legendary self works. So I will be in circle with all of you for the next 500 years. So please do not think I’ve gone anywhere. The Cura Council is the place where all the communities converge in ceremony.
I’m not going anywhere. Quite the opposite. I am right here. with my quantum identity, emerging my Legendary Self. Stardust Lineage is the name for my personal work, but held within the greater framework of the Intentional Creativity Teaching. So you could just think of it as my MUSEA Center, called Stardust Ranch.
My teachings are through the Stardust lineage. And anyone who works with me becomes a part of that. So this is a life…a story…a lineage to be continued. Big, big love. I just want to say that the biggest love I’ve ever experienced, what Carmen calls quantum love, which was the name of the subject line of that email, Quantum Love…Learning to love people that I’ve never met, learning to love you so much that I would actually stop my own art career and painting process in order to see if that’s what you wanted. Loving you so much to give the mother love I had for my own baby to all of you.
To Love you in that quantum way, meaning virtual, to reach people across the miles. I’ll never forget the feeling on that first day that we Live streamed. He brought the technology. and I was able to reach you all. Not just through video. But through live transmission. Everything changed. That was in 2013. And amazingly. About nine months ago, I was brought in to be a speaker at a place called Edge City that was in Healdsburg, a pop-up. Literally my exact teaching spot to broadcast from was that exact building where Cosmic Cowgirls was and the exact spot where I first taught the very first live stream. You can’t make this stuff up. You know what I mean? You just can’t make it up. I have so many more things to say, but I’ll keep saying them.
That quantum love is the biggest experience that I’ve ever had in my lifetime, and I try to teach it to all of you. I think it’s the key, actually, to our intuitive gifts and spiritual transmissions and businesses and even income and being able to create what you love with joy and service is this feeling of loving someone that you’ve never met. The first time I ever heard about it was reading in a book from Pema Chodron where she talked about the Bodhisattva, which is this unreasonable desire to end suffering. And in particular for people that you’ve never met. I’m not saying I’m a Bodhisattva or anything, but that feeling of loving you. It’s huge. It’s my biggest experience. It is quantum love and I can’t recommend it enough. And I think I do see it all the time, because you fall in love with each other. And friendships happen when you’ve never even met. Sometimes at the Stardust Ranch, I get to see you meeting each other for the first time. And sometimes people come, like a new and special friend, my Star, who come and they say, I’m here for this. I’m part of this lineage. So my life continues in this curious and delightful way. Love is here. Relationship is here. Evolution is here. Sharing my new household with someone that I love is here. Healing is here. The ongoing story of the Stardust Lineage is right here as the sun comes up over the mountain and shines its light in my home. Breathing through this share, thank you for caring enough to listen and loving me in the quantum way that you do. Sue had a painting that said, I have loved you from my deepist heart. So dear ones, with the deepist heart love and stardust, I love you. I’m grateful for you. May our journey continue for generations to come. I’ll be here.
Will you?
p.s. on the painting she spelled it, deepist.
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