Dear Krystal

Can I be honest? I often default to feelings of unlovable and underserving when things go wrong in my life. It’s largely because I always heard how I was “too much” growing up. Even now, friends will jokingly say it, and although I lean into it, shit still stings. In this episode I explore where the origins of those feelings come from and set a plan to course correct when they surface.

I'm saying goodbye to life as I've known it and I'm pissed and sad and upset and disappointed and angry, forcing me to ask one of the most honest questions yet, "God, how is this love?"

Quite possibly my favorite topic to talk about besides sex, love, and relationships is friendships. Which as we all know, is a relationship in itself that also requires nurturing, attention, encouragement, and sometimes even separation. What happens when you find yourself no longer enjoying the people you once did? What happens when you've outgrow the people you've shared so much life with? In this episode I share three steps I took to end relationships that were no longer interested in and lacked reciprocity.

I’m fucking proud of myself for unlearning, divorcing traditional thought, and establishing boundaries. I only know myself broken from practically birth. Would’ve love to know who I would’ve grown into if I was born healed.

Life sucks right now. And that’s perfectly okay to say.

I’ve been struggling quite a bit over the last six months with feeling disconnected from all the things I’m famously known for online – my work, my voice, my impact, this podcast…even conversations around #WithABoy has dwindled because, well quite frankly, ain’t no mothafuckin' boys to talk about, which obviously brings about separate feelings. But along with the disconnect, I’ve also been carrying a really weird and uncomfortable weight of inferiority and insecurity. I open up about the last six months of my life and finally admit I'm depressed.

A love letter to myself.

When I think about those four months of my life I smile. I’m grateful that I was introduced and got to live in the most beautiful bubble of love ever. And as much as those moments were incredible — I’m ready to move on. Almost desperate to. As much as ebbing and flowing is apart of life, I done did it enough. Tap me out of the ebb and place me in the flow.

Sometimes the only way to be supportive is by walking away.

Since March rumors about my job were floating around online and in April they were confirmed. After 8 season The Real was being cancelled. And as you can imagine, I was instantly flooded with messages, some even a month prior to any confirmation of any thing. I was annoyed. Big time. After almost two months of sitting with my feelings I'm ready to talk about it. But not the "it" you're probably thinking.