396: Numer-HOE-logy

Get 80% for your first month of patreon with promo code STIFF80🚨NEW TIER CREATED $3.99/Month AUDIO ONLY🚨 Support the pod and get so much extra content for $5/month at patreon.com/stiffsockspod  Episodes also available on Apple Podcasts! https://www.apple.co/socks🎙️ Michael's tour dates: https://www.blaucomedy.com🎙️Trevor's tour dates: https://www.trevorwallacecomedy.comFor the final Stiff Socks episode on the main feed, the guys explain that the show is not ending but moving to one weekly ad-free Patreon / Apple Plus episode, then go down memory lane through the first episode, old clips, favorite guests, pandemic Patreon moments, road stories, and the bits that shaped the show. It gets genuinely emotional as Michael and Trevor reflect on how the podcast changed their lives, saved them during dark times, gave them purpose, and built a family with the fans, before ending the only way Stiff Socks can: with old clips about mocktails, Reiki, wiping, fingering, and ass eating.Thanks to our sponsors: Ridge, Brooklyn Bedding, and Vinted.Ridge: Get 10% Off your entire order & take advantage of Ridge's Annual Sweepstakes by going to https://www.Ridge.com/STIFFSOCKS #RidgepodNO PURCHASE NECESSARY. Open only to legal residents of the promotion territory, who have reached the age of majority in their jurisdiction of residence. Void elsewhere & where prohibited by law. Enter by 9:00 a.m. USPT on 8 September 2026. 2 winners, prizes total ARV: up to approx. $539,165 CAD / £284,170. Skill-testing question required in CA. See Official Rules at ridge.com/pages/rules for complete eligibility, entry instructions, how to enter without a purchase, entry limits, prize details, odds, and restrictions. Sponsor: The Ridge Wallet LLC. Brooklyn Bedding: Get 30% off sitewide with promo code SOCKS at https://brooklynbedding.com Vinted: Download the Vinted app for free and start listing. With no seller fees, you keep every dollar you earn.#sponsored #ad

JOIN PATREON FOR 80% off Now with code STIFF80Support the pod and get so much extra content for $5/month at https://www.patreon.com/stiffsockspodBonus eps also available on Apple Podcasts! https://www.apple.co/socks🎙️ Michael's tour dates: https://www.blaucomedy.com🎙️Trevor's tour dates: https://www.trevorwallacecomedy.comThanks to our sponsors: BetterHelp, BlueChew, Factor, Shopify, and Fabletics.BetterHelp: Visit https://betterhelp.com/SOCKSBlueChew: Buy two months of BlueChew Gold and get the third FREE with promo code SOCKS, plus an additional 10% OFF and free overnight shipping on your first order. Visit https://BlueChew.com for more details and important safety information.Factor: Get 50% off plus 1 free breakfast item per box for 1 year at https://FactorMeals.com/socks50off with code socks50off. While supplies last until 10/31/2026. See website for more details.Shopify: Be your own boss. No dress code, no commute, no Steve from accounting. Free trial at https://shopify.com/socksFabletics: Get 70-80% off everything as a new VIP at https://fabletics.com/socks — take the style quiz and select socks when prompted to unlock the offer.

Support the pod and get so much extra content for $5/month at https://www.patreon.com/stiffsockspodBonus eps also available on Apple Podcasts! https://www.apple.co/socksThe guys open with a real update on the future of Stiff Socks, explaining that the show is not ending, but the regular podcast is changing into one weekly ad-free Patreon / Apple Plus episode while the boys focus more on games, clips, and bigger YouTube projects. Then the episode goes fully off the rails with Trevor’s nosy neighbor, Drake barking for goth girls, QVC slip-ups, Rapunzel hair logic, the worst wedding confession ever, music taste giving you the ick, Big Mac sauce crimes, and a soccer celebration gone horribly wrong.🎙️ Michael's tour dates: https://www.blaucomedy.com🎙️Trevor's tour dates: https://www.trevorwallacecomedy.comEP 395 — Timestamps00:00 – Stiff Socks is changing… and the podcast is moving to Patreon03:01 – Trevor’s neighbor is way too concerned about him05:44 – Drake is barking at goth girls11:33 – Why is Drake doing this?! 13:05 – Drake sliding into people’s DMs 15:16 – What happens when Drake DMs your girlfriend?15:38 – What if you could hear sex through a condom?16:25 – Dating shows are embarrassing19:29 – “Whip it out” — what would you do if you met Drake?22:23 – Watching Drake get flirty is uncomfortable24:04 – Are all viral clips fake now?25:15 – The infamous QVC beauty clip26:20 – QVC woman accidentally says “blow job”27:13 – Investigating the QVC mannequins28:14 – Did the QVC clip actually go viral?29:19 – Why every guy in a Lamborghini isn’t a celebrity30:42 – The QVC woman is leaning into the viral moment31:49 – 30 million views?! She’s monetizing the hell out of it33:09 – Blowout vs. blowjob34:26 – The girlfriend who made him climb through her window35:16 – How far would a horny guy climb for a girl?36:17 – Robert Pattinson as Chris Hansen?!38:14 – Should Chris Hansen just play himself?45:19 – The movie about a woman’s horrifying secret before her wedding47:26 – “My agent called… and I’m terrified”50:50 – Where do you draw the line with your partner’s past?51:40 – Planned a school shooting vs. actually doing something horrible53:08 – Can you ever fully trust someone after learning their secret? 56:09 – What if she tells you AFTER you get married?57:12 – The guys discover the greatest spelling fact of all time58:01 – “You can’t spell HEARD without HEAD”59:26 – Back to the wedding question01:00:40 – Would past relationships actually bother you?01:01:41 – Sock Talk: Can you tell a girl’s ex from her music?01:03:40 – When someone points out an annoying habit you never noticed01:04:41 – SECRET SOCK - Would you do something disgusting for views?01:05:42 – Grossest food-related things they’ve ever done01:06:53 – The nacho-cheese Slurpee01:07:17 – Combining food from multiple fast-food restaurants01:08:15 – The joys of gas-station food on a road trip01:09:43 – Soccer player celebrates by jumping into a holeThanks to ZBiotics and Quince.Go to https://zbiotics.com/socks and use SOCKS at checkout for 15% off any first time orders of ZBiotics probiotics.Quince: Get free shipping and 365-day returns at Quince.com/stiffsocks#sponsored #ad

Support the pod and get so much extra content for $5/month at https://www.patreon.com/stiffsockspodBonus eps also available on Apple Podcasts! https://www.apple.co/socks🎙️ Michael's tour dates: https://www.blaucomedy.com🎙️Trevor's tour dates: https://www.trevorwallacecomedy.comMichael starts the episode solo and spirals through being a protective dad, not being scared of jail, old phrases, fruit bats, animal mating facts, no-sleep meltdowns, doctors under pressure, and why Spider-Man movies feel endless. Trevor checks in for the second half to talk Chicago, Europe tour dates, German crowds, American freedom, Tony Romo’s DWI timeout, Naperville fans, morning movies, red things, and a Sock Talk ranking red things.Thanks to our sponsors: BlueChew, Cash App, GLD, Zippix Nicotine Toothpicks, and BetterHelp.BlueChew: Buy two months of BlueChew Gold and get the third FREE with promo code SOCKS, plus an additional 10% OFF and free overnight shipping on your first order. Visit BlueChew.com for more details and important safety information.Download Cash App Today: https://capl.onelink.me/vFut/g4eslwve #CashAppPod Cash App is a financial services platform, not a bank. Banking services provided by Cash App's bank partner(s). Prepaid debit cards issued by Sutton Bank, Member FDIC. Cash App Visa® Debit Flex Cards issued by Sutton Bank, Member FDIC, and The Bancorp Bank, N.A., pursuant to a license from Visa U.S.A. Inc. See terms and conditions for the Sutton prepaid card, Sutton debit flex card, and Bancorp debit flex card. Cash App Green features, Savings, Direct deposit, Round ups, Overdraft coverage and Discounts provided by Cash App, a Block, Inc. brand. Visit cash.app/legal/podcast for full disclosures.GLD: New customers get 40% Off with code SOCKS at GLD.comZippix Nicotine Toothpicks: Get 10% off your first order with code SOCKS at ZippixToothpicks.com. Must be 21 or older to order. Warning: Nicotine is an addictive chemical.Better Help: Visit betterhelp.com/SOCKS#sponsored #ad

Support the pod and get so much extra content for $5/month at https://www.patreon.com/stiffsockspodBonus eps also available on Apple Podcasts! https://www.apple.co/socks🎙️ Michael's tour dates: https://www.blaucomedy.com🎙️Trevor's tour dates: https://www.trevorwallacecomedy.comThanks to: Brooklyn Bedding and Ridge for sponsoring the podcast.Brooklyn Bedding – Go to https://www.brooklynbedding.com and use promo code SOCKS for 30% off sitewide during the Back to School Sale.Ridge Get 10% Off your entire order & take advantage of Ridge’s Annual Sweepstakes by going to https://www.Ridge.com/STIFFSOCKS #Ridgepod #adNO PURCHASE NECESSARY. Open only to legal residents of the promotion territory, who have reached the age of majority in their jurisdiction of residence. Void elsewhere & where prohibited by law. Enter by 9:00 a.m. USPT on 8 September 2026. 2 winners, prizes total ARV: up to approx. $539,165 CAD / £284,170. Skill-testing question required in CA. See Official Rules at ridge.com/pages/rules for complete eligibility, entry instructions, how to enter without a purchase, entry limits, prize details, odds, and restrictions. Sponsor: The Ridge Wallet LLC.#ad #sponsored

Support the pod and get so much extra content for $5/month at patreon.com/stiffsockspod  Bonus eps also available on Apple Podcasts! https://www.apple.co/socksThe boys spiral from the Taco Bell lettuce diarrhea outbreak into Big Milk, courtroom logic, OJ, AI evidence, gambling ads, Swiss Army knives, Mexico horses, Olive Garden, Red Lobster, Super Size Me, Twix, ice cream trucks, and the search for the next viral candy. They also read Amazon reviews for She Comes First, debate whether they’ve had more beers or jerks, break down the 6/12/18/24 challenge, answer a hilarious orangutan hypothetical🎙️ Michael's tour dates: https://www.blaucomedy.com🎙️Trevor's tour dates: https://www.trevorwallacecomedy.comThanks to: TUSHY, ShipStation, BlueChew, and BetterHelpTUSHY - 3 Million Butts Love TUSHY. Get 10% off TUSHY with the code SOCKS at https://hellotushy.com/SOCKSShipStation - Get started with ShipStation today and get 60 days free at https://www.ShipStation.com with code socks. Taxes and fees apply.BlueChew - This episode is sponsored by BlueChew. Buy two months of BlueChew Gold and get the third FREE with promo code SOCKS at https://www.BlueChew.com. Plus get an additional 10% OFF and free overnight shipping on your first order. Visit BlueChew.com for more details and important safety information.BetterHelp - This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Don’t let stigma stand in the way of support. Start therapy with BetterHelp. Sign up and get 10% off at https://www.BetterHelp.com/SOCKS#ad #sponsored

Support the pod and get so much extra content for $5/month at https://www.patreon.com/stiffsockspodBonus eps also available on Apple Podcasts! https://www.apple.co/socks🎙️ Michael's tour dates: https://www.blaucomedy.com🎙️Trevor's tour dates: https://www.trevorwallacecomedy.comThe boys spiral from New York getting a new World Trade Center 2 into decoy cities, Flubber buildings, Canada being too Canadian, therapy language, Michael’s missing Knicks hat meltdown, and whether ChatGPT can replace a therapist. They also get into Meta using Instagram photos for AI, the World Cup coming to America, Tesla Ubers, DoorDash vs Uber vs Airbnb, and a Secret Sock about someone finding underwear, a cucumber, and a condom inside a driverless Waymo.Thanks to: Quince, Factor, Firstleaf, and Ultra Pouches for sponsoring the podcastQuince – Go to https://www.quince.com/stiffsocks for free shipping and 365-day returns. Now available in Canada too.Factor – Head to https://www.factormeals.com/socks50off and use code SOCKS50OFF to get 50% off and free daily greens per box, with new subscription only, while supplies last until 09/27/2026.Firstleaf – Head to https://www.tryfirstleaf.com/socks to get 50% off your first box plus free shipping for an entire year.Ultra Pouches – Don’t sleep on @ultrapouches. New customers get 15% Off with code SOCKS at takeultra.com! #UltraPouches #ad#ad #sponsored

Support the pod and get so much extra content for $5/month at https://www.patreon.com/stiffsockspodBonus eps also available on Apple Podcasts! https://www.apple.co/socks🎙️ Michael's tour dates: https://www.blaucomedy.com🎙️Trevor's tour dates: https://www.trevorwallacecomedy.comMichael starts the episode solo and immediately goes off the leash, spiraling through electric chairs, jury duty, weird death choices, ChatGPT corruption, conspiracy theories, Starbucks misspelling names, soft rocks, and time-travel lottery winners. Trevor is filming a movie in Vancouver, then Zooms in halfway through to catch up on Michael’s topics and add in movie-set life, Canada being Canadian, and the boyfriend who sneezes corporate slogans.Thanks to: Shopify, BlueChew, BetterHelp, Cash App, and GLD for sponsoring the podcastShopifyshopify.com/socksStart your free trial at shopify.com/socks BlueChew Goldbluechew.comBuy 2 months of BlueChew Gold, get the 3rd FREE with code SOCKS Plus 10% off + free overnight shipping on your first orderBetterHelpbetterhelp.com/socksGet 10% off at betterhelp.com/socks Don’t let stigma stand in the way of support. Start therapy with BetterHelp.Cash AppDownload Cash App Today: https://capl.onelink.me/vFut/g4eslwve #CashAppPodCash App is a financial services platform, not a bank. Banking services provided by Cash App’s bank partner(s). Prepaid debit cards issued by Sutton Bank, Member FDIC. Cash App Visa® Debit Flex Cards issued by Sutton Bank, Member FDIC, and The Bancorp Bank, N.A., pursuant to a license from Visa U.S.A. Inc. See terms and conditions for the Sutton prepaid card, Sutton debit flex card, and Bancorp debit flex card. Cash App Green features, Savings, Direct deposit, Round ups, Overdraft coverage and Discounts provided by Cash App, a Block, Inc. brand. Visit cash.app/legal/podcast for full disclosures.GLDNew customers get 40% Off with code STIFFSOCKS at GLD.comUltra Pouches - Don’t sleep on @ultrapouches. New customers get 15% Off with code SOCKS at https://takeultra.com! #UltraPouches #adQuince - Go to https://www.quince.com/stiffsocks for free shipping on your order and 365-day returns. Now available in Canada, too.#ad #sponsored

Support the pod and get so much extra content for $5/month at https://www.patreon.com/stiffsockspodBonus eps also available on Apple Podcasts! https://www.apple.co/socks🎙️ Michael's tour dates: https://www.blaucomedy.com🎙️Trevor's tour dates: https://www.trevorwallacecomedy.comThe boys accidentally learn about the luteal phase and the WOmenstrual Cycle, then spiral into ice bath shrinkage, morning wood science, and why the Stiff Socks name will never change. They also debate Tesla self-driving, Waymo, Airbnb scams, cat pee, the stork myth, and Dustin Poirier allegedly trying to fight an airport cop.Thanks to: Cash App, Ultra Pouches, and QuinceCash App - Download Cash App Today: https://capl.onelink.me/vFut/g4eslwve #CashAppPodCash App is a financial services platform, not a bank. Banking services provided by Cash App’s bank partner(s). Prepaid debit cards issued by Sutton Bank, Member FDIC. Cash App Visa® Debit Flex Cards issued by Sutton Bank, Member FDIC, and The Bancorp Bank, N.A., pursuant to a license from Visa U.S.A. Inc. See terms and conditions for the Sutton prepaid card, Sutton debit flex card, and Bancorp debit flex card. Discounts and promotions provided by Cash App, a Block, Inc. brand. Visit cash.app/legal/podcast for full disclosures.Ultra Pouches - Don’t sleep on @ultrapouches. New customers get 15% Off with code SOCKS at https://takeultra.com! #UltraPouches #adQuince - Go to https://www.quince.com/stiffsocks for free shipping on your order and 365-day returns. Now available in Canada, too.#ad #sponsored

Support the pod and get so much extra content for $5/month at https://www.patreon.com/stiffsockspodBonus eps also available on Apple Podcasts! https://www.apple.co/socks🎙️ Michael's tour dates: https://www.blaucomedy.com🎙️Trevor's tour dates: https://www.trevorwallacecomedy.comThe boys recap Trevor’s vacation disaster, World Cup fans discovering American chaos, BuzzBalls, bottomless salsa, and why free refills might be America’s greatest invention. They also spiral into Love Island being a human experiment, Michael’s crowd work getting too physical, Spider-Man’s weird popcorn bucket, a gross Secret Sock, and the moon being suspicious.Thanks to: GLD, Ridge, HexClad, BlueChew, and ShipStationGLD - New customers get 40% Off with code SOCKS at https://www.GLD.comRidge - Upgrade your wallet today! Get up to 40% off @Ridge during their Father’s Day Sale when you go to https://www.Ridge.com/STIFFSOCKS #RidgepodHexClad - Find your forever cookware @hexclad and get 10% off at https://www.hexclad.com/SOCKS! #hexcladpartnerBlueChew - This episode is sponsored by BlueChew. Buy two months of BlueChew Gold and get the third FREE with promo code SOCKS at https://www.BlueChew.com. Plus get an additional 10% OFF and free overnight shipping on your first order. Visit BlueChew.com for more details and important safety information.ShipStation - Get started with ShipStation today and get 60 days free at https://www.ShipStation.com with code socks. Taxes and fees apply.#ad #sponsored