Breaking Negative Patterns With Cheryl Pasieka
In this episode of Sisters in Sobriety, Sonia and Kathleen dig into what it really takes to move from white-knuckling it to building a life rooted in calm, purpose, and—yes—joy. They’re joined by Cheryl Pasieka, author of Climbing the Stairs: My Journey from Addiction to Pure Joy, who shares how rehab, mindfulness, and a fierce commitment to self-care helped her stop hiding behind alcohol and start living on her own terms. Cheryl brings hard-won wisdom and practical tools for women in recovery.
Across the conversation, they explore the fears that surface in early sobriety (What if I fail? What will people think?), how to set boundaries with negative energy, and what it means to choose sustainable joy over short-term relief. They touch on midlife purpose, rebuilding self-esteem, creating accountability, and why sharing your story can become someone else’s survival guide. Expect talk of relapse risk, root causes, nervous-system regulation, and using community, routine, and self-inquiry as anchors.
Listeners will learn about reflective journaling (and the game-changer of rereading old entries), building a sobriety plan you revisit every six months, using mindfulness, yoga, and meditation to regulate stress, and creating accountability check-ins with trusted friends. Cheryl explains how to identify triggers, let go of resentments, and replace people-pleasing with “put your own oxygen mask on first.” You’ll also hear a refreshing definition of joy—a daily practice of noticing, gratitude, and positive reframing—that helps prevent drift into rumination or “I’ll just have one” thinking.
Cheryl opens up about losing her mother, the spiral that followed, and the decision to go to rehab on Vancouver Island—phone surrendered, excuses stripped away.
This is Sisters in Sobriety, the support community that helps women change their relationship with alcohol. Check out our substack for extra tips, tricks and resources.
00:00 – Toronto roots, quick hellos, and Cheryl’s book intro, Climbing the Stairs
02:05 – “I wanted sustainable joy”—why grief and stress made moderation impossible
03:10 – Vancouver Island rehab: no phone, no running, just the work
04:12 – The first two years: fear of failure, meetings, yoga, and perseverance
05:06 – “What if I fail publicly?”—accountability and shame in early sobriety
06:02 – Why “just cut back” advice from some doctors misses the disease entirely
07:20 – Oxygen mask first: releasing people-pleasing and caring less what others think
08:05 – The quote that sparked the memoir and a surprising push from a psychic
09:18 – From private journaling to “maybe this can help one person” publishing mindset
10:45 – Telling family and friends—acceptance, boundaries, and letting some people drift
12:02 – Owning the past: divorces, resentments, and the freedom of self-acceptance
15:04 – Root causes: self-esteem, secrets, and climbing into the hole when alone
16:10 – Defining joy: reframing the day, gratitude, and the Tim Hortons “rain vs spring” story
18:02 – Calm as part of joy: taking things as they come instead of spiraling
19:06 – Protecting energy: stepping back from chronic negativity without guilt
21:02 – The morning stack: journal, meditation, movement, and a girlfriends’ daily check-in
22:40 – Weekly accountability now, occasional counseling as needed—right-sizing support
23:36 – “Planting my own garden”: self-care as not waiting for permission (or flowers)
24:12 – Midlife meaning: six-month reviews, giving back, quilting for folks in need
27:02 – The power of rereading journals: past you showing present you the way through
Cheryl's Links
www.journeytopurejoy.ca
SIS Links
💌 Sisters In Sobriety Substack – where the magic (and the mocktail recipes) happen
📬 Sisters In Sobriety Email
📸 Sisters In Sobriety Instagram
🌐 Kathleen’s Website Kathleen does not endorse any products mentioned in this podcast
📸 Kathleen’s Instagram
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