39: The Perch (aka The Perchening)

The final episode of Schmear Campaign. And it's a wild ride to the past and the dark future. Our friend Peter rips a hole in spacetime to save the pod and the bagel boys put right what once went wrong. Special thank you to Peter, Jose, and Russell for being amazing guests over the last year. And thanks again to Jose for our incredible artwork. To all our listeners: WE LOVE YOU SO MUCH. Thank you for joining us in our campaign to eat and judge every Austin bagel. See you in another universe. Stay Schmeary ya Shmucks.

Jake and Sam do a final wrap up, go through all the stats, all the memories, all the hot takes. The best, the worst, the schmeariest, the sexiest. It's all here. IN. ONE. FINAL. EPISODE.

Fall back into an hour with your bagel boys on your favorite Austin bagel podcast. We talk Jake's cold showers. We talk urban planning. We ponder scooped or not scooped. Our backs hurt and we made it to 40 freakin bagel spots y'all.

A very spooky episode for your Halloween bagel hauntings. Sam complains about scary social interactions and has a shroom-fueled breakthrough. Jake talks horror films and things that go bump in the night. The horrific hot takes are endless in this slasher of an episode. Awooooooooooooooooooooo!

The guys venture into the warm damp hole of Cenote and dine on mediocre sandwiches. The world is ending. But the campaign must rage ever onward. Enjoy an hour of profanity and foolishness to help you get through your day. #standwithisrael 

For a spooky October episode, the guys confront a soulless place where time stands still. A liminal space where corporate ghosts and Republican secretaries go thump in the day. A place that shouldn't exist and yet, somehow does. A place with absolutely ghoulish bagels and a name that evokes bodily fluids. Call the exorcist. The bagel boys are sending you BACK TO HELL.

The bagel boys finally determine which bagel near the JCC is truly the best one for your pre fiddler-on-the-roof-matinee brunch. There can only be one. They also might talk some lulav / etrog life. Or was that last week? Whatever.

The guys have a lovely time in a little market. Sam has renewed hope for Austin and falls in love with a cashier. Fuck Foxtrot. What's in the disco ball cookie jar?

The guys gain some clout by selling out for free bagel sandwiches. Sam's got a brutal tongue. Jake brings back fresh or stale.

The guys find a glorious spot for dank breakfast sandos. The Smash Mouth guy was probably a Nazi. Sam says some more stuff he can't take back. It's a solid Sunday episode y'all.