I’m trying, they’re not

Join us for an up close and personal guest visit to our vow renewal. 20 years of “marriage” but a lot of those years as a checklist.Growing up together turned into actually growing old together and learning what it means to choose each other.

Either you’re growing or you’re dying. That applies to you individually and to your marriage. Growth is to be celebrated and something to look forward to. That doesn’t mean it comes without pain. No matter how long you are together, there is always something to learn and you always have to keep your expectations in check because you didn’t marry you. Bottom line: do you want the best for your spouse? Always? And if not, are you ready to find out why?

Join us this week as we catch up! Life has been lifeing and it brought up all sorts of feelings and a reminder that everything is not always sunshine and rainbows- even good things. Society makes you think it shouldn’t be so hard if it’s the right job, house, person… But the truth is that’s not that truth. Some things are hard. Some things are worth fighting for and your relationship is one of them.

We’re back for another season. We had a summer that was anything but normal. We learned new lessons about ourselves, our marriage and gained perspective we never knew we needed.

As we close out season 1 of the podcast we decided to end on a truth some people aren’t loving. You have 2 choices: Change or stay the same. So many couples have come to us saying they want to know how we healed? How we saved our marriage? How do they get where we are? They love our words, not many love the commitment that went with it. The commitment to the heartache, the struggle, the pain, the change. But that is what got us here and we want you here with us!

Leadership and vulnerability on their own sound like they don’t go together. How can you be a man, be a leader, and be vulnerable with your wife? We want to offer the perspective that the two actually work together to make a man a leader and actually filter into other traits men desire like respect and trust. What happens if a passive role in your family has become the standard? This week we talk about how men take on leadership in the home or how they don’t. We also dig into how being a leader creates the space for vulnerability or how it should. Join us!

To “TRY” requires action. Seems obvious, except in marriage. So many people think they are trying. They tell us I tried, my spouse didn’t. But they never have any actions to back up the “try” If you are trying to save your marriage or trying to have a better marriage take a step back and see what actions are supporting your “try” We discuss what action looks like and how we personally realized we weren’t actually trying.

Sharing your “screw ups,” your mistakes, your testimony is not easy, but there is ONE.One person, one marriage, one family, one child whose life will be changed by your story. Your experience is the hope one person needs to know they aren’t alone. It will get easier, but it won’t always be easy. Will you be judged? Yep.Will people see you differently. Yep. Will everyone like you or appreciate you? Nope. Share it anyway.People are going to think and feel what they think and feel no matter you do. So be you! Like it or not everyone has a story and you learn best from someone who has walked that path and come out on the other side.

Like it or not, it takes two to make AND break a marriage. No one is ever showing up as their best self 100% of the time. Sometimes we recognize that in ourselves and sometimes not so much. Here is what’s 100%- Marriage will show you exactly who you are, how you react under stress, what you carry (even unrelated to your spouse), and what you try to ignore. Good or bad.And it takes work to get to that place for yourself and a lot of self reflection, ownership and self awareness.

Comparison isn’t just “keeping up with the Joneses’” and all of their stuff. It goes way beyond what you see online. It’s the small thoughts that creep on when you compare someone else’s behavior to your spouse. How someone dresses, talks, laughs. Or when you judge someone else because if you were their spouse, you would appreciate them better. You wouldn’t do xyz. It’s easy to commiserate with someone when you only get one side. Often we forget there are two sides to every story. You don’t see the sacrifice being made, the tears cried, the words spoken, the life lived behind closed doors. Or what someone is carrying for unhealed trauma months or years ago and how their spouse has had a front row seat to that. Comparison is the thief of joy and the downfall of the life you say you want.