The “To Hell With This” Party

Live from a New Orleans hotel room on the way to Skank Fest. Welcome to the Grift House, where everybody’s got a hustle. Fox News has 14 hours of breaking news and no information. Trump’s Russian diesel deal turns around mid-Atlantic. Hegseth’s wife gets paid by a Lockheed-connected firm. And at the White House water cooler, everybody is comparing grifts. Susie Wiles is out and Stephen Miller, the twitchy yes man, is in. Ron Johnson takes a swing at the administration after Calley Means went on Rogan. Massie keeps pushing to impeach Hegseth. On 60 Minutes, Trump shrugs off the UAE money in his crypto company and promises pardons for anyone within a thousand miles of the Oval. Plus, Todd Blanche says license plate readers don’t affect your privacy, and Bill Gates is warning about his next big scare.🎟 Porch Tour + live dates: thefiretix.com🔒 Bonus episodes, $5/month: RobBernsteinComedy.com🩲 Sheath Underwear: sheathunderwear.com, promo code [RYM] for 20% off

Democrats win the House and Senate, Trump says it's not a defeat because he wasn't on the ballot, and Rob announces the only party he could ever support: the To Hell With This Party. He also offers Trump a deal: unlimited redecorating in exchange for doing nothing else. Plus the Habba $50 million pardon contract, "very little war," secret strikes on Qeshm Island, the Mossad bragging about its own sneakiness, Trump's Israel aid cutoff, Megyn Kelly on Fox News, and Kansas ranchers burned by a policy change.Bonus episodes: RobBernsteinComedy.com | Porch Tour: porchtour.com | Sheath Underwear, code RYM

Ilhan Omar’s sham-marriage story is back. The New York Times now reports that federal agents found evidence her ex-husband was her brother, and her big answer on camera is “not to my knowledge.” Rob breaks down why he thinks she’s going down.Also in this episode:Instacart pays $5M to settle claims it rigged H-1B/PERM hiring against American applicantsCops fired for using Flock cameras to stalk their exesThe five-day press secretary’s Piers Morgan comebackHow tariffs and grift became top voter issuesTrump defends the Ramaswamy ad featuring the opponent’s motherTalk of new Iran strikes after the midtermsZelensky on Trump’s sanctions whiplashJames O’Keefe’s Minnesota vouching videoThe full FBI entrapment deep dive is on the paywall at RobBernsteinComedy.com. It’s $5/month.🎤 Porch Tour dates (Tampa, West Palm Beach, Louisiana, NYC, and more): PorchTour.com👕 Merch: RobBernsteinMerch.com🩲 Sheath Underwear: 20% off with promo code [RYM]

The empire's crumbling and everyone on the inside is grabbing what they can: Guilfoyle's Amex payment, the Secret Service drone-company guy, Trump staffers lawyering up, and Netanyahu teasing round two in Iran. Plus we were wrong about the hot iguana, France's mostly peaceful protests, rooftop Koreans as global peacekeepers, Trump's mental aptitude test, a Covid clinic's bogus new patient fee, Zelensky's interview eyes, Starshield going dark, and new alibi footage in the J6 pipe bomber case.Porch Tour + FBI Entrapment Scheme tickets: thefiretix.comPaywall episodes ($5/mo): RobBernsteinComedy.comMerch: RobBernsteinMerch.comSheath Underwear: code [RYM] for 20% off

Live in Austin after my FBI entrapment presentation, Scott Horton fact-checks the show and goes deeper. We get into:The Oklahoma City informants and the Garland attackWhether MKUltra ever workedLiberty City Seven, the Fort Dix pizza plot, and Lodi’s “pole-vaulting terrorists”The warrant the FBI refused on Moussaoui before 9/11How chasing PR cases let Tsarnaev and the Fort Hood shooter slip throughPlus Scott’s top 5 deep state actors of all time: Wilson, Perle, the Dulles brothers, Kissinger, and Brennan.Scott: scotthorton.org, antiwar.com, the Libertarian Institute, and Provoked with Darryl Cooper.Rob: RobBernsteinComedy.com, RobBernsteinMerch.com

Rob takes over as Chief Economist of BS and reports the indicators: hotels, airports, a 600mg cold brew, and a college show shut down by a hallway monitor. In the news: the Hormuz recovery that didn't last, Trump's ceasefires that only exist because he said so, the Russian diesel deal, Guilfoyle's $100K Amex ask, Schumer's midterm pitch, and a federal judge ruling a warrantless Flock search unconstitutional.Bonus episodes: RobBernsteinComedy.com | Porch Tour: porchtour.com | Sheath Underwear, code RYM

Corporations are using AI to jack your prices, so it's time for the left to weaponize cheapness. Also: Sydney Sweeney's conversion, the new airport line before the line, California's breakfast cancer sign, Trump and Xi, taxpayer-funded Trump ads, Ossoff and Hawley's lane for the next election, insurance companies delaying care, and a Flock horror story straight from the Senate hearing. Full show at RobBernsteinComedy.com.Live dates:www.porchtour.comSponsor: sheath.com promocode: RYM

The White House boots the press and launches Trump TV, and Rob pitches himself as program director with a lineup including Pardon Me, Front Running the Market and Trump's Tanning Hour. Also: the press pool was always an exclusive club, Leavitt admits it's all a show, Iran at the UN, the Greenland "deal," a Naperville cop accused of stalking a man with Flock cameras, what else those cameras can search for, Gemini going rogue, the AI civil war that might save humanity, and Bernie's Department of AI. Plus a Hyrox athlete whose bravery deserves its own Depends ad.www.robbernsteincomedy.com for more episode.Robbernsteinmerch.com for tees and stuffwww.porchtour.com for live gigswww.sheath.com Promocode: RYM

Big Tech says AI is too dangerous, so the government should step in and help them slow down. Rob argues it's really a play for an AI Federal Reserve: a protected cartel with a bailout waiting when the valuations fall apart. Also: James Comer auditions for Epstein cover-up guy, Trump blames the Biden FBI for Butler, and reality embarrasses him on Iran and Ukraine within days. Then the Lindsay Clancy holdout juror reveal breaks a news anchor's brain, and Oprah kicks off the victim-class Olympics.Paywalled segments and full episodes at robbernsteincomedy.com ($5/month). Porch Tour dates at porchtour.com. 20% off at sheath.com with code RYM.

Trump says the Iran war is "small potatoes" and has downgraded it to "intermittent" — the thing you say about a marriage you're riding out until the kids are gone. The White House wants it quiet until the midterms. Plus the arcade games that would actually fit this administration, the case for the great influencer ban, why I want a wifebot, what Iran does with the gear we leave behind, and a fact-check on our own tariff math.Full episodes and the paywalled segments: RobBernsteinComedy.comMerch: RobBernsteinMerch.comPorch Tour Dates: porchtour.com