I Wish We Had Spoken About Us

One Conversation Saved Five LivesGuest: Rabbi Leo DeeIn April 2023, Rabbi Leo Dee lost his wife, Lucy, and daughters Maia and Rina in a terror attack. In the midst of unimaginable loss, a conversation Leo and Lucy had months earlier helped their family make the decision to donate Lucy’s organs.Rabbi Dee joins Rabbi Dr. Shlomo Brody to reflect on that decision, the halachic guidance that made it possible, and what it meant to later meet the people whose lives Lucy saved. He shares the unexpected comfort his family found through organ donation and why he believes families should talk about these questions before a crisis.About the guest:Rabbi Leo Dee is an educator, author, and rabbi who lives in Efrat, Israel. Following the murder of his wife, Lucy, and daughters Maia and Rina in a terror attack in April 2023, he has spoken widely about faith and resilience. Mentioned in this episode:Organ donation and respiratory brain death in halachaThe Dee family meets the recipients of Lucy’s organsLearn more about organ donation and halacha at ematai.org/option18. Questions or feedback about Sacred Decisions? Contact us at [email protected].

I Wish We Had Spoken About UsGuest: Shera DubitskyWhen serious illness enters a family, everyone is affected, but not everyone responds in the same way.In this episode of Sacred Decisions, Rabbi Dr. Shlomo Brody speaks with therapeutic coach Shera Dubitsky about navigating family dynamics during illness. Drawing on her experience as Director of Support Services at Sharsheret as well as more than 30 years of experience working with children and families living with trauma, as well as her own experience losing her mother to metastatic breast cancer, Shera explores how families can make room for different coping styles, share the responsibilities of caregiving, communicate more openly, and keep the patient at the center of decision-making.Their conversation also explores the importance of talking about wishes before a crisis, avoiding the pressure to “make memories,” and remembering that beneath a diagnosis, the person you love is still the same person.About the guest:Shera Dubitsky, M.A., M.Ed., C.P.C., is a therapeutic coach with more than 30 years of experience working with children and families living with trauma. She previously served as Director of Support Services at Sharsheret, where much of her work focused on women living with advanced cancer. She now maintains a private practice and lectures on topics including illness, parenting, life skills, spirituality, and navigating difficult life experiences.Resources MentionedSharsheret — A nonprofit supporting Jewish women and families facing breast and ovarian cancer and those at increased hereditary risk.Learn more and access Ematai’s resources at https://www.ematai.org.Questions or feedback about Sacred Decisions? Contact us at [email protected].

Choosing Joy in UncertaintyGuest: Shana AlayevShana Alayev is a wife, mother of four, friend, daughter, speech therapist, and someone living with metastatic breast cancer. In this episode, she joins Rabbi Dr. Shlomo Brody for an honest conversation about continuing to live fully when illness and uncertainty are always present.Shana shares how she moved from waiting for cancer to be “over” to recognizing that this is something she is living with, but it does not have to define her. She reflects on parenting, the strength she draws from her family and friends, and how her understanding of hope and emunah has evolved. She also talks about humor and her conscious decision to look for joy, even while making space for fear, sadness, and difficult days.Together, they explore what it means to live with uncertainty, how serious illness changes our relationship with time, and the internal decisions we make about how we want to live when so much remains outside our control.About the Guest:Shana Alayev is a wife, mother, speech therapist and friend who living with metastatic breast cancer. She shares her experiences navigating illness, family life, and finding emunah and joy on Instagram at @shana.alayev. Resources mentioned:Shaar HaBitachon (the fourth gate from Chovot HaLevavot) - Rabbi Bachya ibn Pekuda Learn more and access Ematai’s resources at ematai.org.Questions or feedback about Sacred Decisions? Contact us at [email protected].

What Do We Owe Our Parents?Guest: Rabbi Dr. Jason WeinerWhat do we owe our parents as they age? How do we honor them when their needs increase, their independence changes, or their wishes conflict with what we think is best?Rabbi Dr. Shlomo Brody speaks with Rabbi Dr. Jason Weiner about the complicated transition from being cared for by our parents to becoming their caregivers.Drawing on his experience working with patients and families in the hospital, Rabbi Weiner explores the halachic and emotional challenges of caring for aging parents, balancing family responsibilities, making difficult medical decisions, and navigating the guilt that can accompany caregiving.Key Topics:How Kibbud Av V'em changes as parents age and children become caregiversBalancing honoring parents with responsibilities to one's own familyWhen to say no to a parent's requests and recognizing the limits of caregivingMaking medical decisions for parents who can no longer speak for themselvesNavigating caregiver guilt and difficult end-of-life decisionsHaving meaningful conversations with parents before it's too lateAbout the guest:Rabbi Dr. Jason Weiner is the Senior Chaplain and Director of the Spiritual Care Department at Cedars-Sinai Medical Center, Senior Consultant at Ematai, and Rabbi at Knesset Israel Congregation in Beverlywood. He is the author of Bedside Halacha: Practical Guide for Healthcare Professionals, CARE and COVENANT: A Jewish Bioethic of Responsibility, Jewish Guide to Practical Medical Decision-Making, andGuide to Observance of Jewish Law in a Hospital. Resources and sources mentioned in the conversation:Nishmat Avraham — Rabbi Dr. Avraham S. AbrahamSefer Chasidim — Rabbi Yehuda HaChasidRobert M. Beren Healthcare Directive & Conversation Guide — EmataiKuntrus HaRofe L’Shvurei Lev - Rabbi Yitzchok Schechter (based on the teachings of Rabbi Dovid Cohen)Story of Rav Asi - Kiddushin 31b Learn more and access Ematai’s resources at ematai.org.Questions or feedback about Sacred Decisions? Contact us at [email protected].

In this episode of Refuah & Psak, Rabbi Brody speaks with Chaya Lasson, Director of Jewish Hospice and Palliative Care for Bridging Life in Baltimore, about clarifying misconceptions around hospice and integrating it with Jewish values. Chaya distinguishes hospice from palliative care, outlines the collaborative hospice team model, and dispels myths about hospice. They discuss aligning care with halachic guidance, involving rabbis and clinicians in real-time decision-making, and recognizing patient preferences within Jewish law. Chaya stresses the importance of early education for families, rabbis, and communities to avoid crisis-driven decisions, and shares moving stories of patients who lived longer and more meaningfully under hospice. The conversation urges building relationships with culturally sensitive providers and viewing hospice not as giving up, but as “doing everything” to maximize dignity, comfort, and meaningful living until the final breath.

In this episode of Refuah & Psak, Rabbi Brody speaks with Dr. Beth Popp, a palliative-care physician, about the medical, emotional, and halachic complexities of artificial nutrition and hydration (ANH). They review why ANH may be needed, the methods used, and the risks that may be involved. The conversation highlights how decisions differ at various stages of illness, especially near the end of life. Together they stress the importance of case-by-case evaluation, patient comfort, sensitive guidance for families, and review some of the key information needed for providing halachic guidance about ANH.

In this episode of Refuah & Psak, Ematai’s associate director and physician assistant Rachel Secunda speaks with Ematai’s director of community outreach, Bassie Taubes, an oncology nurse, health coach, and rebbetzin, about how rabbis and communities can better support those who often feel unseen. They highlight the elderly who quietly withdraw due to physical challenges, caregivers who sacrifice silently and need recognition and respite, mourners who grieve long after shiva or outside traditional halachic categories and the ill themselves. The discussion also covers the importance of sensitive bikur cholim, remembering caregivers after a loved one’s passing, and empowering rabbis to ask questions of the healthcare team when answering shailot. Ultimately, they stress that rabbis cannot and should not do everything alone; rather, they should do what they can to make congregants feel acknowledged and educate the broader community to notice, listen, and care so that no one feels forgotten.

In this episode of Refuah & Psak, Rabbi Brody speaks with Dr. Moshe Ornstein, a genito-urinary oncologist and author of Cancer in Halakha, about cancer and its treatments. Dr. Ornstein explains what cancer is, clarifies the difference between localized and metastatic disease, and reviews treatment options from surgery and radiation to immunotherapy and targeted therapies. Dr. Ornstein highlights the importance of distinguishing between curative and palliative goals, noting that “palliative” often means long-term management rather than giving up hope. The conversation also delves into how rabbis and families can support patients with both medical realities as well as spiritual and emotional support.

In this episode of Refuah & Psak, Rabbi Brody speaks with Dr. Ernest Mandel, member of the Ematai medical advisory board and nephrologist about the halachic and medical nuances of cyclical treatments, with a focus on dialysis and vasopressors. They discuss how treatments that naturally start and stop differ from continuous interventions, and why this distinction matters for both halacha and patient decision-making. The discussion covers the use of time-limited trials, potential risks and side effects, and how “pause points” allow for reassessment. They also explore the importance of aligning medical care with a patient’s goals and halacha, especially in end-of-life contexts.

In this episode of Refuah & Psak, Rabbi Brody speaks with Rabbi Dr. Jason Weiner, senior consultant at Ematai as well as the executive director of the Spiritual Care Department at Cedars – Sinai in Los Angeles, about the halachic and ethical distinction between withholding and withdrawing life-sustaining treatments. They explore how Jewish law, secular bioethics, and Israeli law approach these decisions; practical examples like stopping chemotherapy or ventilator withdrawal; and touch upon how this impacts nutrition, hydration, and other interventions. The conversation highlights moral, emotional, and pastoral considerations, and includes a moving real-life story that illustrates both halachic nuance and compassionate care.