Dr. Shefali: The Hormones Behind First Love, Heartbreak, and Hookup Culture

Why does a teenage breakup feel like the end of the world for girls, but barely register for boys?  Dr. Aliza Pressman sits down with Dr. Shefali — clinical psychologist, founder of the conscious parenting movement, and New York Times bestselling author of Raising Conscious Daughters and Raising Conscious Sons — for a conversation that finally explains the biology behind teen dating, heartbreak, and hookup culture. From the surge of estrogen and oxytocin that wires girls to bond instantly, to the testosterone spike that turns boys into what Dr. Shefali calls "novelty seekers," this episode breaks down what's actually happening inside your child's brain during their first crush, their first relationship, and their first heartbreak. What you’ll learn: The hormonal science behind why girls bond faster and boys move on faster — and how to talk to each about it Why Dr. Shefali says daughters must be taught they are "the chooser, not the chosen" How to talk to sons about testosterone, impulse control, and sexual responsibility before puberty hits Why hookup culture and "situationships" are more about FOMO than a lack of values What porn is really doing to how teens experience rejection and real-life romance The single biggest antidote to disconnection Dr. Shefali says every family is missing RESOURCES & LINKS: More from Dr. Shefali:  📚 Raising Conscious Daughters and Raising Conscious Sons by Dr. Shefali Tsabary https://www.drshefali.com/raisingconscious-daughters-sons/ Follow Raising Good Humans: 📱 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/raisinggoodhumanspodcast/ 🎙️ Podcast: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/raising-good-humans/id1473072044 Subscribe on Substack for weekly articles and exclusive LIVE Q&As: 📧 https://dralizapressman.substack.com/ This episode is brought to you by: Little Spoon: Feeding the kids doesn’t have to be complicated. Get 30% off your first online order at littlespoon.com/HUMANS with code HUMANS. Orion Sleep: Get better sleep, backed by your own data. Right now, Orion is offering our listeners 15% off at Orionsleep.com/HUMANS. Kodiak: Feel good about snack choices with Kodiak Bars. Find them at kodiakcakes.com or your local grocery store. They’re the ones with the bear on the box.  OneSkin: Born from over 10 years of longevity research, OneSkin is helping you unlock your healthiest skin now and as you age. For a limited time, try OneSkin with 15% off using code RGH at oneskin.co/RGH. Tell them we sent you. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Is your child's behavior really about who they are — or is it about where you've put them?  In this episode, Dr. Aliza Pressman sits down with Dr. Angela Duckworth, bestselling author of Grit, MacArthur "Genius" Grant winner, and University of Pennsylvania psychologist, to unpack her powerful new book, Situated. Together they explore why the "fundamental attribution error" causes so many parents to blame a child's character when the real culprit is the situation around them — and why editing that situation, from where you keep your phone to which zip code you live in, is one of the most effective child development strategies parents actually have. What you’ll learn: Why the "fundamental attribution error" makes parents misjudge their kids' behavior The "3-foot rule": how personal space and phone placement quietly drive academic performance Practical ways to build self-control in kids without relying on willpower alone How intentionally choosing a neighborhood or school shapes peer influence and character The powerful role of mentors, coaches, and teachers as "surrogate parents" Modeling behavior: what your kids are really learning by watching you 🔗 RESOURCES & LINKS: 📖 About This Episode's Guest, Dr. Angela Duckworth:https://www.angeladuckworth.com/about 📚 Dr. Duckworth's Book, Situated:https://www.angeladuckworth.com/situated 📚 Dr. Duckworth's Bestseller, Grit:https://www.angeladuckworth.com/grit Follow Raising Good Humans: 📱 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/raisinggoodhumanspodcast/ 🎙️ Podcast: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/raising-good-humans/id1473072044 Subscribe on Substack for weekly articles and exclusive LIVE Q&As: 📧 https://dralizapressman.substack.com/ This episode is brought to you by: Little Spoon: Feeding the kids doesn’t have to be complicated. Get 30% off your first online order at littlespoon.com/HUMANS with code HUMANS. Kodiak: Feel good about snack choices with Kodiak Bars. Find them at kodiakcakes.com or your local grocery store. They’re the ones with the bear on the box.  BetterHelp: Better is a feeling—defined by you. Sign up and get 10% off at BetterHelp.com/humans.  Boar’s Head: For lunchtime inspiration visit: boarshead.com/backtoschool. For Boar’s Head, head to your local deli counter. Osea: OSEA has clean, seaweed-powered skincare from the sea. Go to OSEAMalibu.com and get 10% off your first order with code HUMANS. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Blaming your kid's attention span on Covid? In this episode, Dr. Aliza Pressman sits down with Georgetown Professor and developmental psychologist, Dr. Anna Johnson, to unpack a landmark special section of 17 longitudinal studies published in Child Development, the field's top journal. Together they walk through what parents have been told about "Covid kids" versus what the actual research shows about learning loss, executive functioning, and child mental health five years later. What you’ll learn: ● Why longitudinal research tells a different story than the "learning loss" headlines ● Which kids were actually at higher risk — and which weren't ● Why reading recovered faster than math after school closures ● How parent-child closeness buffered teens against long-term depression and anxiety ● The infant study that found zero effect of Covid on biological aging ● Why grade inflation and parent-teacher distrust may explain more than the pandemic does 🔗 RESOURCES & LINKS:  Learn More About This Episode's Guest: 📖 Dr. Anna Johnson: https://www.cdsplab.org/faculty https://gufaculty360.georgetown.edu/s/contact/00336000014TwO9AAK/anna-d-johnson  🔬 The Child Development special section, "Children's Developmental Trajectories in the Long Shadow of COVID-19":  https://academic.oup.com/chidev/advance-article/doi/10.1093/chidev/aacag153/8763937 Read more on this topic: 📚https://www.cdsplab.org/tulsa-seed-briefs 📚https://academic.oup.com/chidev/advance-article-abstract/doi/10.1093/chidev/aacaf030/8505765 📚https://psycnet.apa.org/record/2027-01613-001 Follow Raising Good Humans: 📱 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/raisinggoodhumanspodcast/ 🎙️ Podcast: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/raising-good-humans/id1473072044 Subscribe on Substack for weekly articles and exclusive LIVE Q&As: 📧 https://dralizapressman.substack.com/ 🔔 New episodes every week — subscribe and turn on notifications so you never miss a conversation on raising healthy, resilient humans. This episode is brought to you by: Great Wolf Lodge: With 22 lodges across the country, you’re always only a short drive away from adventure. Learn more at GreatWolf.com and strengthen the pack. Boar’s Head: For lunchtime inspiration visit: boarshead.com/backtoschool. For Boar’s Head, head to your local deli counter. Kodiak: Feel good about snack choices with Kodiak Bars. Find them at kodiakcakes.com or your local grocery store. They’re the ones with the bear on the box. Merit Beauty: Right now, Merit Beauty is offering our listeners their Signature Makeup Bag – which if you’ve seen it, it’s not just a make-up bag but really an accessory – free with your first order at meritbeauty.com.   Minnow: Cabana Capsule celebrates days spent lingering by the sea, soaking up the sun, and savoring the simple luxury of having nowhere to be. Shop the capsule starting July 7th at shopminnow.com and enter code MEETMINNOW15 at checkout to receive 15% off your first order. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Sending your teen to their first party?  In this solo episode, developmental psychologist Dr. Aliza Pressman walks parents through exactly how to talk to teenagers about parties before the car ride there. From the alcohol and drug conversation to setting a code word and exit plan, this episode is a practical guide for parenting teenagers through one of the most anxiety-provoking adolescent milestones. What you’ll learn:  ● Curiosity-first scripts for the "parties, alcohol, and drugs" conversation with your teenager  ● Setting a code word and no-questions-asked exit plan for teen safety  ● How to vet a party: supervision, location, and when privacy isn't up for negotiation  ● Talking about consent and physical safety before parties become a factor  ● What to say (and not say) when you pick your teen up afterward  ● Navigating a friend's secret without breaking your teen's trust in you 🔗 RESOURCES & LINKS:  Buy Dr. Aliza Pressman's Book: 📖Order "The 5 Principles of Parenting" by Dr. Aliza Pressman: https://www.simonandschuster.com/books/The-5-Principles-of-Parenting/Aliza-Pressman/9781668014547 Follow Raising Good Humans: 📱 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/raisinggoodhumanspodcast/ 🎙️ Podcast: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/raising-good-humans/id1473072044 Subscribe on Substack for weekly articles and exclusive LIVE Q&As:  📧 https://dralizapressman.substack.com/ 🔔 New episodes every week — subscribe and turn on notifications so you never miss a conversation on raising healthy, resilient humans. This episode is brought to you by: Great Wolf Lodge: With 22 lodges across the country, you’re always only a short drive away from adventure. Learn more at GreatWolf.com and strengthen the pack. Boar’s Head: For lunchtime inspiration visit: boarshead.com/backtoschool. For Boar’s Head, head to your local deli counter. Kodiak: Feel good about snack choices with Kodiak Bars. Find them at kodiakcakes.com or your local grocery store. They’re the ones with the bear on the box. Wayfair: Join Wayfair Rewards today to get 5% back on every purchase and start saving on your next home upgrade. Head to Wayfair.com to shop all things home. Wayfair. Every Style. Every Home.  OneSkin: Born from over 10 years of longevity research, OneSkin is helping you unlock your healthiest skin now and as you age. For a limited time, try OneSkin with 15% off using code RGH at oneskin.co/RGH. Tell them we sent you. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Is your child's relationship with food already shaped by guilt, fear, or "good food/bad food" rules — even before they can talk? Registered dietitian Jennifer Anderson, founder of Kids Eat in Color, joins Dr. Aliza Pressman to unpack "embodied independence" — the idea that raising confident eaters means combining a healthy relationship with food and the practical skills to take care of one's body. This is a must-listen for any parent trying to raise a healthy eater without passing down diet culture baggage. What you’ll learn: Why labeling foods "good" or "bad" creates food rules, guilt, and inflexible thinking later in life Practical scripts for introducing dessert without using food as a reward or a bargaining chip Red flags for extreme picky eating and ARFID — and when to bring concerns to your pediatrician The "sit, connect, and expose" approach that gets even the pickiest toddlers trying new foods How to set boundaries with grandparents and relatives around sweets and body comments 🔗 RESOURCES & LINKS: Learn more about Jennifer Anderson’s work: 📖 Feed Them Well: A Guide to Raising Healthy, Confident Eaters for Life https://kidseatincolor.com/landing-pages/feed-them-well-book/?utm_source=podcast-guest&utm_medium=podcast&utm_campaign=book-awareness&utm_content= 📱 Follow Kids Eat in Color on Instagram:@kids.eat.in.color 🧪 Take the Pediatric Screener for ARFID and Extreme Picky Eating (PSAE):https://kidseatincolor.com/picky-eating-and-arfid-screener-for-kids-psa-eat/ Buy Dr. Aliza Pressman's Book: 📖Order "The 5 Principles of Parenting" by Dr. Aliza Pressman: https://www.amazon.com/Principles-Parenting-Essential-Raising-Humans/dp/166801453X Follow Raising Good Humans: 📱 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/raisinggoodhumanspodcast/ 🎙️ Podcast: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/raising-good-humans/id1473072044 Subscribe on Substack for weekly articles and exclusive LIVE Q&As:  📧 https://dralizapressman.substack.com/ This episode is brought to you by: Great Wolf Lodge: With 22 lodges across the country, you’re always only a short drive away from adventure. Learn more at GreatWolf.com and strengthen the pack. Boar’s Head: For lunchtime inspiration visit: boarshead.com/backtoschool. For Boar’s Head, head to your local deli counter. Goodr: Ready to upgrade your eyewear to something functional, fashionable, fun, and affordable? Head to goodr.com/HUMANS to claim $10 off your first order. OneSkin: Born from over 10 years of longevity research, OneSkin is helping you unlock your healthiest skin now and as you age. For a limited time, try OneSkin with 15% off using code RGH at oneskin.co/RGH. Tell them we sent you. Kodiak: Feel good about snack choices with Kodiak Bars. Find them at kodiakcakes.com or your local grocery store. They’re the ones with the bear on the box. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Do you know how to disagree with your kid without a fight breaking out? Most of us have been told that the fix for a bad disagreement is more empathy — really try to see it from their side. But Julia Minson, negotiation researcher at Harvard's Kennedy School, joins Dr. Aliza Pressman to share what her experimental research actually shows: telling someone to "try harder to empathize" barely changes the outcome of a conflict. Instead, Julia and Aliza dig into why disagreement has gotten so much more fraught in families, what really makes someone feel heard, and a concrete, teachable framework for disagreeing with your kids, your partner, or anyone else without torching the relationship. What you’ll learn: Why "try to see it from their perspective" doesn't actually work, according to the research "Listening with your words": the specific language that proves you're actually paying attention The "curiosity sandwich" — a script for disagreeing without abandoning your own point of view Argue, don't fight: how to model constructive disagreement in front of your kids The HEAR framework: hedge, emphasize agreement, acknowledge, and reframe to the positive 🔗 RESOURCES & LINKS: 📖 Buy Julia Minson's book, How to Disagree Better https://www.penguinrandomhouse.com/books/774525/how-to-disagree-better-by-julia-minson/ 📱 Follow Raising Good Humans Podcast on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/raisinggoodhumanspodcast/ 📧 Follow Raising Good Humans with Dr. Aliza Pressman on Substack: https://dralizapressman.substack.com/ 🎙️ Follow Raising Good Humans Podcast: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/raising-good-humans/id1473072044 📖Order "The 5 Principles of Parenting" by Dr. Aliza Pressman: https://www.amazon.com/Principles-Parenting-Essential-Raising-Humans/dp/166801453X This episode is brought to you by: Great Wolf Lodge: With 22 lodges across the country, you’re always only a short drive away from adventure. Learn more at GreatWolf.com and strengthen the pack. Boar’s Head: For lunchtime inspiration visit: boarshead.com/backtoschool. For Boar’s Head, head to your local deli counter. Kodiak: Feel good about snack choices with Kodiak Bars. Find them at kodiakcakes.com or your local grocery store. They’re the ones with the bear on the box. BetterHelp: See the reviews, see what stands out, and see if BetterHelp is right for you. Visit Betterhelp.com/humans.  OneSkin: Born from over 10 years of longevity research, OneSkin is helping you unlock your healthiest skin now and as you age. For a limited time, try OneSkin with 15% off using code RGH at oneskin.co/RGH. Tell them we sent you. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Do you use your imagination enough? Most parents think of imagination as something for playtime — a "nice to have" that fades once kids get older and life gets "serious." But Dr. Cassandra Vieten, director of science programs at the Arthur C. Clarke Center for Human Imagination at UC San Diego, joins Dr. Aliza Pressman to make the case that imagination is a trainable skill with real developmental and psychological weight. They unpack the connection between imagination and anxiety, why kids naturally live closer to the "field of possibility" than adults do, and how something as simple as a car-ride question can open up conversations that "how was your day?" never will. What You’ll Learn: The real, physiological link between imagination and anxiety How to use your child's favorite fandom as a doorway into connection Strategies to turn discipline moments into imagination-building thought experiments How to use screens and social media for connection instead of "slot machine" scrolling 🔗 RESOURCES & LINKS: 📖 Pre-order "Imagine That: How You Can Transform How You Think, Feel, and Live Through the Science of Imagination" by Dr. Cassandra Vieten: https://cassandravieten.com/books/  📱 Follow Raising Good Humans Podcast on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/raisinggoodhumanspodcast/ 📧 Follow Raising Good Humans with Dr. Aliza Pressman on Substack: https://dralizapressman.substack.com/ 🎙️ Follow Raising Good Humans Podcast: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/raising-good-humans/id1473072044 This episode is brought to you by: Kodiak: Feel good about snack choices with Kodiak Bars. Find them at kodiakcakes.com or your local grocery store. They’re the ones with the bear on the box. Great Wolf Lodge: Don’t miss The 84-Degree Sale. Book August 2nd through 5th at Greatwolf.com for an easy family getaway—only at Great Wolf Lodge, always just a short drive away. Goodr: Ready to upgrade your eyewear to something functional, fashionable, fun, and affordable? Head to goodr.com/HUMANS to claim $10 off your first order. Boar’s Head: For lunchtime inspiration visit: boarshead.com/backtoschool. For Boar’s Head, head to your local deli counter Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Dr. Aliza Pressman answers your hardest parenting questions: toddler tantrums, screen time guilt, porn talks, vaping teens & social media limits. Real parenting questions don't come with a manual — so Dr. Aliza Pressman, developmental psychologist and New York Times bestselling author, is answering yours. In this listener Q&A episode, Dr. Pressman offers practical, shame-free parenting strategies rooted in child development research — helping you move from panic and guilt to clarity and connection, no matter what stage your kid is in. What You’ll Learn: How to respond when your young child says "I hate you" without shaming them or ignoring it The truth about toddler screen time guilt and whether 45 minutes of Bluey is actually harmful Why your well-behaved child falls apart at school pickup (and what to do about it) How to talk to your preteen about pornography in a way that's honest, age-appropriate, and shame-free How to hold firm on a no-social-media rule at 12 — and where your confidence as a parent comes from What to do when you find vapes in your teenager's backpack, and how to have the conversation without blowing up your relationship 🔗 RESOURCES & LINKS: 📖Order "The 5 Principles of Parenting" by Dr. Aliza Pressman: https://www.amazon.com/Principles-Parenting-Essential-Raising-Humans/dp/166801453X 📱Follow Raising Good Humans Podcast on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/raisinggoodhumanspodcast/ 📧Follow Raising Good Humans with Dr. Aliza Pressman on Substack: https://dralizapressman.substack.com/ 🎙️Follow Raising Good Humans Podcast:  https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/raising-good-humans/id1473072044 This episode is brought to you by: OneSkin: Unlock your healthiest skin now and as you age. For a limited time, try OneSkin with 15% off using code RGH at oneskin.co/RGH Kodiak: Feel good about snack choices with Kodiak Bars. Find them at kodiakcakes.com or your local grocery store. They’re the ones with the bear on the box. Great Wolf Lodge: With 22 lodges across the country, you’re always only a short drive away from adventure. Learn more at GreatWolf.com and strengthen the pack. Wayfair: Ready to upgrade your home for way less? Head to Wayfair.com right now to shop all things home and get your space ready for less. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Can you actually grow your brain? Johns Hopkins neurologist Dr. Majid Fotuhi reveals 5 science-backed ways to build brain volume — even in the chaos of parenthood. In this episode of Raising Good Humans Podcast, Dr. Fotuhi breaks down the research on neuroplasticity and brain health, and helps us all understand how measurable brain growth is possible in as little as 12 weeks. What You’ll Learn: The 5 pillars of brain health and the minimum effective dose for overwhelmed parents How poor sleep physically shrinks the brain and whether years of damage can be reversed Brain training demystified: why mahjong counts, and a name-memory trick that actually works How to rewrite negative narratives that are quietly working against your brain Your brain isn't declining — it's waiting for the right conditions to grow. The science is more hopeful than you think. 🔗 RESOURCES & LINKS: 📚The Invincible Brain by Dr. Majid Fotuhi: https://www.harpercollins.com/products/the-invincible-brain-majid-fotuhi?variant=43878812614690 🧠The Invincible Brain App (free):  https://drfotuhi.com/online-course-app/ 📖Order "The 5 Principles of Parenting" by Dr. Aliza Pressman: https://www.amazon.com/Principles-Parenting-Essential-Raising-Humans/dp/166801453X 📱Follow Raising Good Humans Podcast on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/raisinggoodhumanspodcast/ 📧Follow Raising Good Humans with Dr. Aliza Pressman on Substack: https://dralizapressman.substack.com/ 🎙️Follow Raising Good Humans Podcast:  https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/raising-good-humans/id1473072044 This episode is brought to you by: Merit Beauty: It's time for your makeup and skincare to meet the reality of your daily routine with Merit Beauty.com MyPhone by Ooma: Safe calling with parental controls. Go to ooma.com/myphone to shop phones and learn more.  Kodiak: Feel good about snack choices with Kodiak Bars. Find them at kodiakcakes.com or your local grocery store. They’re the ones with the bear on the box. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Should your child get a neuropsychological evaluation? Neuropsychologist Dr. Joanna Jacobs explains what it reveals, who needs one, and why it's not scary. If you've ever been told your child might need a neuropsychological evaluation and felt your stomach drop, this episode is for you. Dr. Aliza Pressman sits down with neuropsychologist Dr. Joanna Jacobs to demystify what a neuro psych evaluation actually is, what it can tell you about your child's learning profile, and why so many parents leave the process feeling relieved rather than devastated. Whether your child is struggling with reading, attention, executive functioning, or social communication — or whether they seem fine on paper but something feels off at home — this conversation will help you understand what the evaluation process looks like, what questions to ask, and how to make sense of what you find out. What you'll learn: What a neuropsychological evaluation actually measures and who it's designed for  Why a diagnosis is a tool for accessing support, not a life sentence — and how to talk about it with your child at any age The critical difference between cognitive profile and disorder How neurodivergent brains, including those with dyslexia and ADHD, carry genuine strengths that language-based school systems frequently fail to identify or nurture This episode is brought to you by: OneSkin: Unlock your healthiest skin now and as you age. For a limited time, try OneSkin with 15% off using code RGH at oneskin.co/RGH Kodiak: Kodiak Bars help keep busy families fueled, satisfied, and ready for whatever the day brings. Find them at kodiakcakes.com or your local grocery store. Goodr: Ready to upgrade your eyewear to something functional, fashionable, fun, and affordable? Head to goodr.com/HUMANS to claim $10 off your first order. BetterHelp: You don’t have to say yes to everything this summer. Find support in therapy. Sign up and get 10% off at BetterHelp.com/humans. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices