Sooner or Later, Doug Will Arrive

When you're five, and there are parts of your house that are still a mystery to you: you may very well find what you're definitely Not looking for

Sirens be damned...the force of victory of the river race cannot be thwarted by babe nor pizza nor beer nor unattended child

When you're bored and underage, HBO sometimes makes you promises it can't keep.

A tiny tale of my Babi this Orthodox Easter, and an argument towards the genetic origins of drama and absurd self-pity.

Other people's holiday traditions can't really be commented on, if you're a guest. Until 30 years later, of course.

If the Priest is busy, can you just go ahead and baptize yourself? Can you then maybe, get a Saint to do your personal bidding? My brother tests this out, with all creatures Great and Small.

Is it possible, in the late 90's, to summon the spirit of a teen heartthrob from the early 80's? What if he's still alive? FB radiofreedaria

Teen Magazines will tell you who to love, but will they tell you How!??! Also, who is that guy, anyway? Also, yes, I know about the Riverdale series. Please stop telling me there is a Riverdale series. I know you mean well. But no. No.

Everything is fearful and dangerous, to a gaggle of old ladies playing Bingo...but nothing is more fearful and dangerous, than some of those ladies, themselves.

Look out! Pee!!!!