327. When our Teens Disappoint Us

No man (or woman) is an island entire of itself- John Donne There are so many voices right now concerning "the Cornell 7". I want to offer a parent, coach, and womans perspective. My goal is to offer love, levity, and insight to how you and I can make an impact in our homes and communities. This is where we have the most authority to incite change in our nation and world.  I will teach you the three levels of awareness in this episode. Most of us are stuck in the firs two, which creates blame, chaos and disfunction in families and society. If we want a world where our kids are genreally safe and they have each others backs, we need to evolve into the third level of accountability. Listen in to see what this looks like.  If you would like to discuss how to apply this content in your home, please book a free conversation with me right HERE. 

What do I want my daughter (and yours) to know before she leaves home and becomes an adult? A LOT. In this episode, I'm sharing an open letter to young women heading into college and adulthood. We're talking about self worth, dating, boundaries, friendships, faith, social media, sex, mistakes, and learning to trust yourself. There are so many voices telling young women who to be and how to live. My hope is that this letter reminds them that they don't have to earn their worth, follow every piece of advice they're given, or settle for relationships that make them feel small. You are going to make mistakes. You are going to lose people. You are going to figure things out as you go. And you are still completely lovable, worthy, and good. To better understand, embrace and implement what I teach, book a free Discover Your Disconnection Pattern call with me.

Second guessing yourself as a parent is so common. Your teen tells you everything you're doing wrong. Your parents, friends, or siblings have opinions too. Then there are the parenting books, podcasts, social media accounts, and experts all promising the best way to get your teen to listen, stop lying, be more motivated, do their homework, or finally say "thank you." So you try all the things. Some work. Most don't. And before long you're wondering if you're the problem. It's exhausting. In this episode, we're talking about how to stop second guessing yourself and start trusting yourself again. I'll show you why no expert knows your child better than you do, how to tune out all the voices telling you who you should be as a parent, and how to find the kind of confidence that isn't dependent on your teen's behavior. If you've been feeling overwhelmed, confused, or like you're failing at parenting your teen, this episode will help you come back to what matters most and remind you that the expert you've been looking for has been with you all along. To better understand, embrace and implement what I teach, book a free Discover Your Disconnection Pattern call with me.

If we're honest, most of us aren't very good at apologizing. Some apologies build trust. Others create more distance. And sometimes the words "I'm sorry" aren't actually about repairing the relationship at all, they're about ending the conversation, controlling how we're perceived, avoiding conflict, or pulling someone back into an unhealthy cycle. In this episode, we're unpacking what makes a sincere apology... sincere. We'll talk about why humans apologize in the first place, how to recognize manipulative apologies, and the anatomy of a healthy apology that actually rebuilds trust with your teen, spouse, adult child, or anyone you love. If you've ever caught yourself saying, "I'm sorry you feel that way," struggled to own your mistakes without defending yourself, or wondered how to teach your kids accountability by example, this episode is for you. Your kids don't need a perfect parent. They need one who knows how to repair. Healthy relationships aren't built by never messing up. They're built by learning how to come back together after we do. If you're raising teens, trying to improve family communication, build emotional intelligence, strengthen trust, or simply become someone who loves a little more like Christ, I think this conversation will give you a whole new way to look at conflict and yourself. To better understand, embrace and implement what I teach, book a free Discover Your Disconnection Pattern call with me.

Once upon many times, a girl told someone she trusted about what had happened to her. How her trust had been broken, how what she didn't want to happen had happened. Things she never wanted to think about again, things that hurt her deeply. and then that trusted person asked her why she didn't scream, why she'd let it get that far, what she'd done to invite such bad behavior. They were so upset they didn't want to believe it could be true...  ...and that sweet girl vowed to never tell anyone else again. Never to trust, never to think she mattered.  This is the same plot line that far too many of our children have endured. Let's look at why trusted adults don't respond well, how we can educate our kids better, to make these types of situations fewer, and how to repair if we've been that adult that reacted in a less than helpful way. To more fully understand, embrace and implement what I teach, book a free  Discover Your Disconnection Pattern call with me.

We say we want peace in our homes. We talk about how our world can find peace, but do we know the best ways to make this happen? Today I have conflict and peace expert Abigail Harper on to discuss the structure we need to learn for lasting peace. She teaches us about collusion, how to recognize our part in the conflict, and how to choose something more peaceful.  Abigail is currently developing a college level curriculum that studies the motivation behind hate groups and teaches us the psychologically backed reasons and treatments if our kids are choosing to affiliate with harmful groups and ideologies. Yes! It is possible to have Thanksgiving dinner with folks who disagree politically. Yes! You can have a deep and connected relationship with your kids who left your faith. Yes! You can love family members who choose to dehumanize others- listen in and find the peace you need… then pass it on. xoxo About me guest: Abigail Eve Harper received her undergraduate from BYU-hawaii in intercultural peacebuilding and psychology and just graduated from Drew university with a masters in arts of religion.  To more fully understand, embrace and implement what I teach, book a free Discover Your Disconnection Pattern call with me.

Even more than 31 flavors, disapointment is so varied and unavoidable in parenting.  They lied. Again Their apprearance is embarrassing They failed a quiz, class or college They are breaking all the rules They don't care about us or their family   I've heard too many disapointments to name, but they all have the same foundation, drive the same way of thinking, which yeilds outcomes that parents come to me with to help fix.  Today I break it all down for you so that you can find more peace and contentment wherever life finds your parenting right now. Listen in and lets find answers together. xoxo To more fully understand, embrace and implement what I teach, book a free Discover Your Disconnection Pattern call with me.

*]:pointer-events-auto R6Vx5W_threadScrollVars scroll-mb-[calc(var(--scroll-root-safe-area-inset-bottom,0px)+var(--thread-response-height))] scroll-mt-(--header-height)" dir="auto" data-turn-id="071daa67-e012-4974-a518-991d65b08fe6" data-turn-id-container="071daa67-e012-4974-a518-991d65b08fe6" data-testid="conversation-turn-9" data-scroll-anchor="false" data-turn="user">   *]:pointer-events-auto [content-visibility:auto] supports-[content-visibility:auto]:[contain-intrinsic-size:auto_100lvh] R6Vx5W_threadScrollVars scroll-mb-[calc(var(--scroll-root-safe-area-inset-bottom,0px)+var(--thread-response-height))] scroll-mt-[calc(var(--header-height)+min(200px,max(70px,20svh)))]" dir="auto" data-turn-id= "request-WEB:dc636fdb-a759-4002-9990-1fbed3831b73-4" data-turn-id-container= "request-WEB:dc636fdb-a759-4002-9990-1fbed3831b73-4" data-testid= "conversation-turn-10" data-scroll-anchor="false" data-turn= "assistant"> Your teen lies and suddenly your brain is off to the races. Why would they do this? Why can't they just tell me the truth? They know better. How do I stop this? Can I even trust them anymore? And before we know it, the lie starts to mean something much bigger. We wonder if we failed. If they're headed down the wrong path. If this says something terrible about their character… or ours. In this reprise episode of the Pivot Parenting Podcast, I'm revisiting one of my favorite topics because it changes everything: lying. Yep. We're talking about your little lying-McLie-mouth. I'm going to challenge the way most of us think about dishonesty, why teens lie in the first place, what fear and self-protection have to do with it, and why parenting from panic usually backfires. This episode is full of perspective shifts and truth bombs that will help you move from fear and control to curiosity, connection, and influence. Because when we understand the why behind the behavior, we stop parenting from "fix it" energy and start responding in ways that actually work. You may never look at your teen's lying the same way again… and honestly, that could be very good news for both of you. To more fully understand, embrace and implement what I teach, book a free Discover Your Disconnection Pattern call with me. There is a legitimate reason you're feeling stuck, broken, or are hurting. I will help you discover it so that you can heal it. I firmly believe that your struggles can become your strength. Let me show you how. xoxo

*]:pointer-events-auto scroll-mt-[calc(var(--header-height)+min(200px,max(70px,20svh)))]" dir="auto" tabindex="-1" data-turn-id= "request-WEB:30ab3167-5a8e-4b11-b6c0-c9e5c9827bb9-54" data-testid= "conversation-turn-110" data-scroll-anchor="true" data-turn= "assistant"> When you hear "objectification," you probably think of something sexual. But it shows up in parenting more than we realize. It happens when we see our kids as a reflection of us, a measure of our success, or a project to manage instead of a person to understand. And once that shift happens, it becomes easier to justify frustration, control, and disconnection. In this episode, I walk you through the subtle ways this shows up with your teen and how to catch it early. Awareness alone can change everything, but I will also show you exactly how to shift your thinking and your behavior so you can see your child clearly again. This is one of those conversations that, once you see it, you cannot unsee it. To more fully understand, embrace and implement what I teach, book a free Discover Your Disconnection Pattern call with me.   There is a legitimate reason you're feeling stuck, broken, or are hurting. I will help you discover it so that you can heal it. I firmly believe that your struggles can become your strength. Let me show you how. xoxo

Humans are wired to look for an enemy. And when things feel hard with your teen, it is easy to turn them into the problem. But that approach quietly creates more distance. In this episode, I revisit one of my most important conversations about what it really looks like to be on the same team as your teen. You will learn how to catch the habit of "us vs them," shift into connection, and respond in ways that actually bring you closer. I will give you simple, practical ways to stay on your teen's side, even when things feel tense, emotional, or off track. Because you and your teen were never meant to be opponents. To more fully understand, embrace and implement what I teach, book a free Discover Your Disconnection Pattern call with me. There is a legitimate reason you're feeling stuck, broken, or are hurting. I will help you discover it so that you can heal it. I firmly believe that your struggles can become your strength. Let me show you how. xoxo