When your ADHD child is excluded from childcare

Have you ever found yourself relentlessly pushing for perfection and performance, only to end up exhausted, sick, or feeling disconnected from what actually matters? When we are ambitious and driven, it’s easy to fall into the trap of "push culture" — mistaking scattered busyness for meaningful success. Many women, especially those balancing career, family, and high expectations, try to hold it all together until their bodies give them an unmistakable signal to stop. In this episode, I’m joined by Bianca Best — award-winning keynote speaker, therapist, coach, founder of the Human Connection Company, and bestselling author of Big Impact Without Burnout. Together, we unpack how to move away from performative productivity and step into grounded, intentional choices that allow you to achieve big impact without sacrificing your well-being. In this episode, we cover: Recognizing the hidden physical, emotional, and mental costs of "push culture" and relentless driving Bianca's personal journey through chronic burnout, immune collapse, and unlearning the drive for external approval The difference between scattered switch-tasking and graceful, grounded productivity Radical acceptance and making conscious choices: letting go of the juggle to be fully present in motherhood or work Paying attention to bodily signals (interoception) and stress responses like flushing or inflammation Simple daily practices for energy management, self-connection, and setting boundaries Overcoming the fear of stepping back and creating a "conscious calendar" aligned with your true values Key reminder Life is not meant to be a struggle — it is meant to be full of joy. You don't have to sacrifice yourself or your health to make a big impact in the world. About Bianca Best Best Bianca Best is an award-winning keynote speaker, broadcaster, therapist, coach, and bestselling author with over 25 years of experience in leadership and energy management. Formerly a senior global advertising executive, she is the author of Big Impact Without Burnout and founder of the Human Connection Company, dedicated to helping high achievers cultivate success through energy, self-trust, and human connection. Connect with Bianca Website: www.biancabest.com Book: Big Impact Without Burnout Connect with Bianca on Instagram: biancabest_ Resources & Links ✨ The November Hot-Tub Reset in Leighton Buzzard: An afternoon to step out of the noise, reconnect with yourself and make space for whatever needs your attention next: https://thethomasconnection.thrivecart.com/november-hot-tub/ ✨ Golden Event (London, December 4th): An intimate day for nine women to pause, restore capacity, and build purpose without burnout: https://thethomasconnection.thrivecart.com/golden-december-2026/

Have you ever wondered if your increasing brain fog, emotional swings, or memory struggles are down to ADHD, perimenopause, or both? When sex hormones fluctuate in midlife, the impact on neurodivergent brains can feel like a sudden, overwhelming loss of control. Yet, because of a lack of female-focused research and short appointment times, women are frequently passed between specialists without anyone connecting the dots between their brain health, hormones, and mental well-being. In this episode, I’m joined by Dr Helen Wall — NHS GP partner, BMS-registered menopause specialist, BBC Breakfast resident doctor, and bestselling author of Menopause and ADHD. Together, we unpack the neurobiology behind estrogen and brain chemical messengers, how to advocate for yourself at the GP, and why treating midlife neurodivergence requires a compassionate, personalized approach. In this episode, we cover: The chemical connection between fluctuating estrogen and key brain messengers like dopamine and serotonin Why neurodivergent women often experience perimenopause symptoms earlier than their neurotypical peers How to prepare for a 10-minute NHS GP consultation and ask for an ADHD assessment or hormonal support Key blood tests to ask your doctor about (including ferritin, vitamin D, and thyroid function) to optimize brain function The nuance behind antidepressant use, PMDD, and paradoxical reactions to micronized progesterone Reframing midlife unmasking: moving from perfectionism and "flogging yourself" to self-compassion and boundaries Turning rejection sensitivity into justice sensitivity to advocate for systemic change in women's healthcare Key reminder:  Listen to your gut — it’s not you, it’s the system. You know your own body and mind, and you deserve to advocate for yourself without feeling like you are an inconvenience or imagining your symptoms.   About Dr Helen Wall:  Dr Helen Wall is a GP partner, BMS registered menopause specialist, resident doctor for BBC Breakfast, TV broadcaster, and author of Menopause and ADHD. She specializes in the intersection between female hormones and brain health, helping women navigate hormonal changes, neurodiversity, and midlife health with practical, evidence-based guidance. Connect with Dr Helen Wall: Website: www.drhelenwall.com Book: Menopause and ADHD (Available in print and Audiobook) Documentary: Dismissed: Menopause the Scandal on ITVX   Resources & Links:  ✨ Join my free Nervous System Reset to help you move from overwhelm to calm (without having to sit still!): www.thethomasconnection.co.uk/reset ✨ Burn Bright Group Coaching: A semi-private, 6-space group coaching program starting in January for ambitious ADHD women looking to build sustainable habits without burnout: www.thethomasconnection.co.uk/burn-bright   If this episode resonated, please follow the podcast, leave a rating or review, and share it with a woman in midlife who needs to know she isn't alone.

What happens when the version of motherhood you thought you’d be brilliant at… completely breaks you? In this episode of Pause Purpose Play, I’m joined by Cat Sims – aka Not So Smug Now on Instagram – for a very honest conversation about ADHD, motherhood struggles, perfectionism, postnatal depression, addiction and sobriety – and the power of knowing you’re not the only one.  Cat shares how becoming a mother collided with a lifetime of achievement and perfectionist expectations. When motherhood didn’t look or feel the way she thought it would, she was left feeling like she was failing at the one thing women are so often told should come naturally to them. She talks openly about her experience of undiagnosed postnatal depression, suicidal thoughts, and how what had once been a “party girl” lifestyle escalated into alcoholism and addiction - and what the turning point was into now being five years sober.  We talk about what recovery has taught Cat about shame, vulnerability and connection – and why sharing the messy parts of our stories can help other women realise they’re not alone. We also get into ADHD, rejection sensitivity (RSD), perimenopause and the exhausting pressure to hold everything together. Cat shares how criticism can feel intensely painful, why isolation can become a way of protecting ourselves from rejection, and what she’s learned about doing the opposite: reaching out, being rigorously honest and asking for help even when every part of you wants to hide. We explore: ADHD, rejection sensitivity and the fear of criticism perfectionism and the pressure to be a “good” mother postnatal depression, addiction, alcoholism and sobriety hyper-independence and why asking for help can feel so difficult the mental load, resentment and communication in relationships the difference between guilt and shame making amends to yourself and learning to own mistakes without becoming them ADHD, hormones and perimenopause overstimulation and being honest with our children about our capacity why vulnerability online can create connection – and when it tips into trauma dumping slowing down and giving yourself permission to stop before you hit burnout This is a conversation about getting things wrong, taking responsibility without drowning in shame, and letting go of the idea that we need to do everything perfectly. Because whether you’re struggling with ADHD, motherhood, sobriety, perfectionism – or simply the relentless pressure of trying to be a functioning adult – you’re not the only one. About Cat Sims Cat Sims is a content creator, podcaster, author and the woman behind Not So Smug Now on Instagram. Through humour, honesty and sharing the realities most of us would rather hide, her mission is to help women feel seen – and remind them that they are never, ever the only one. Catch Cat on Instagram under @notsosmugnow Website: www.notsosmugnow.com Book: The Mental Load Diaries  Want support with perfectionism and burnout? If you recognise yourself in the pressure to keep achieving, over-functioning and pushing through until you crash, Burn Bright is my six-month group coaching programme for high-striving women who want to build self-compassion, healthier habits and a more sustainable way of working and living. We open the doors for applications during the Autumn of 2026, to start the programme January 2027.  www.thethomasconnection.co.uk/burn-bright 

Do you ever find yourself putting off the dentist—or feeling secretly ashamed about how hard it can be to stick to basic dental care? When you have ADHD, a busy brain, or you're navigating life stress, grief, or burnout, keeping up with personal hygiene and self-care routines like brushing or flossing can feel almost impossible. The executive functioning load of booking appointments, remembering routines, and facing the fear of being "told off" creates a huge barrier to looking after our teeth. In this solo episode, I get vulnerable about my own recent struggles with dental hygiene following a period of personal grief, sharing practical ways to reduce friction, eliminate shame, and prioritize your health without judgment. In this episode we explore: The link between executive dysfunction, mental health, and basic personal hygiene challenges in ADHDers How life events, grief, and perimenopause disrupt established self-care routines Practical, low-friction systems for booking and keeping routine dental appointments (like practice plans and visual triggers) Why ADHDers are more prone to sugar cravings, impulsive eating, and nocturnal teeth grinding (bruxism) Overcoming the deep shame and rejection sensitivity surrounding missed checkups or poor flossing Why "prepaying" for your care acts as a helpful accountability anchor Navigating sensory issues around interdental brushes and finding tools that actually work for you How to advocate for yourself at the dentist so you don't feel criticized or overwhelmed Unconventional hacks for making dental care less boring and easier to fit into your day If you’ve been avoiding a checkup, struggling to floss, or beating yourself up for forgetting to brush your teeth, this episode is your reminder that it is not a moral failure—it's an executive function challenge. Resources & Links ✨ Join the free Nervous System Reset If you're feeling overwhelmed, constantly "on", or like your nervous system never gets a chance to switch off, I've created a free guided Nervous System Reset to help you pause, regulate, and reconnect with yourself. Join it here: www.thethomasconnection.co.uk/reset ✨ Golden Event (London, October 9th): An intimate day for nine women to pause, restore capacity, and build purpose without burnout: https://thethomasconnection.thrivecart.com/golden-in-person-event-oct-2026/ 🎧 Enjoyed this episode? Please follow the podcast, leave a rating or review, and share this episode with a friend. It helps more people discover Pause, Purpose, Play and supports the podcast to reach those who need it most.

When two ADHD experts get together to talk about neurodivergence, we can skip the basics and go so much deeper. In this episode, I'm joined by Kate Moryoussef — ADHD coach, EFT practitioner, author of The ADHD Women's Wellbeing Toolkit, and host of the ADHD Women's Wellbeing Podcast — to explore what it really takes to navigate life as a late-identified neurodivergent woman. We dive into the complex reality of managing your capacity, navigating perimenopause alongside ADHD, unlearning lifelong perfectionism, and why true well-being goes far beyond quick social media hacks. Kate shares openly about her own lived experience, the reality of post-event energy crashes, and how she builds a supportive ecosystem to burn bright without burning out. In this episode, we cover: The deep need for in-person connection and finding "your people" as a late-diagnosed woman The intersection of ADHD, perimenopause, and lifelong hormonal struggles Protecting your energy, honoring bodily cues, and navigating post-adrenaline crashes Why self-identification is valid and how to support yourself while on long assessment waitlists Moving beyond the binary of ADHD as either a "superpower" or a curse Setting boundaries around sleep, screen time, and constant dopamine consumption The hidden perfectionism behind workaholism, people-pleasing, and the internal "not enough" narrative Why coaching, therapy, and nervous system regulation work together as a holistic toolkit The future of neurodivergence assessments and moving toward more fluid, holistic diagnostic pathways Key reminder  You don't need to tick every box, fix everything, or prove your worth by pushing past your limits. Whatever you have done today is enough, and you are worthy of rest. About Kate Moryoussef  Kate is a Women's ADHD Lifestyle and Wellbeing Coach, EFT practitioner, author, and podcast host. Diagnosed at 40, she combines lived experience with professional expertise to help women understand themselves with clarity, compassion, and realistic, sustainable strategies. Connect with Kate Website: www.adhdwomenswellbeing.co.uk Listen to Michaela’s guest episode on Kate's podcast: https://www.adhdwomenswellbeing.co.uk/podcast Resources & Links ✨ Join my free Nervous System Reset to help you move from overwhelm to calm (without having to sit still!): www.thethomasconnection.co.uk/reset ✨ Golden Event (London, October 9th): An intimate day for nine women to pause, restore capacity, and build purpose without burnout: https://thethomasconnection.thrivecart.com/golden-in-person-event-oct-2026/ Enjoyed this episode? Please follow the podcast, leave a rating or review, and share this episode with someone who is navigating a new diagnosis or trying to find the words to speak to the doubters. It helps more people discover Pause, Purpose, Play and supports the podcast to reach those who need it most.

Have you recently received an ADHD diagnosis and immediately thought, "Who do I tell - and how?" After all the relief, validation, and processing, sharing your diagnosis can feel like a massive, terrifying leap of vulnerability. You might wonder what to say to your partner, family, or colleagues, while secretly dreading responses like, "But you're so organized!" or "Isn't everyone a little bit ADHD these days?" In this solo episode, I share how to navigate disclosing your neurodivergence, how to protect your emotional safety, and what to do when faced with doubters, critics, or classic ADHD myths. In this episode we explore: • Why sharing your diagnosis is entirely your choice - and why you don't owe anyone a "big reveal" • The importance of starting with your "green light" safe people before tackling harder conversations • Why the first person you need to share and integrate this diagnosis with is yourself • Reframing ADHD as a lens to see yourself through rather than a restrictive label • How diagnosis helps you unpeel old, harmful labels like "lazy," "careless," or "flaky" • The crucial difference between an explanation and an excuse • Unpacking high masking, perfectionism, and why "you don't look like you have ADHD" is a common response • Why you don't need to enter "courtroom mode" or prove your diagnosis to anyone • Practical scripts and responses for handling common comments from doubters • What other people’s reactions reveal about their ability to hold safe, compassionate space for you If you've been feeling overwhelmed about how to navigate these conversations - or if the biggest doubter you're facing is the voice inside your own head - this episode is your reminder that you get to set the boundaries and go at your own pace. Join me in person at Golden – 9th October in London  A space to connect, unmask, and be around women who get it - without having to explain yourself. Golden In Person Event October 2026 Enjoyed this episode? Please follow the podcast, leave a rating or review, and share this episode with someone who is navigating a new diagnosis or trying to find the words to speak to the doubters. It helps more people discover Pause, Purpose, Play and supports the podcast to reach those who need it most.

Do you ever feel like you're so busy trying to keep up that you can't actually think? When you have ADHD, a busy brain, or you're juggling work, family and everyone's needs, it can feel impossible to find the mental space to make decisions. Ironically, the harder you push for clarity, the harder it becomes to find it. In this solo episode, I share why slowing down isn't the opposite of productivity - it's often the fastest route to clear thinking, creativity and problem-solving. Using the story of hosting my very first Summer Reset in my garden (complete with an impulsively purchased hot tub!), I explore what happened when I stopped rushing, trusted the process and allowed my nervous system enough space to think differently. In this episode we explore: Why your brain struggles to solve problems when you're stuck in threat mode The psychology behind slowing down to gain clarity ADHD, creativity and why spaciousness matters How regulating your nervous system improves decision-making Why "having a go" often works better than waiting until you feel ready Practical ways to create moments of mental space in everyday life The surprising power of walking, showers and quiet reflection for unlocking new ideas How perfectionism keeps us stuck - and what to do instead If you've been feeling overwhelmed, mentally blocked or like you're constantly reacting rather than creating, this episode is your reminder that sometimes the most productive thing you can do is pause. ✨ Join the September Summer Reset in Leighton Buzzard (limited to just eight women):  https://thethomasconnection.thrivecart.com/hot-tub-reset/ 🎧 Enjoyed this episode? Please follow the podcast, leave a rating or review, and share it with someone who could use permission to slow down today. It helps more people discover Pause Purpose Play and supports the podcast to reach those who need it most.

Have you ever looked at your child and thought, "They're incredibly bright... so why are they finding school, friendships or everyday life so hard?" If so, this episode is for you. I'm joined by Emma Hetherington, founder of Kind of Extraordinary, to unpack what it really means to be Twice Exceptional (2e) – when a child is both gifted and neurodivergent, such as ADHD, autism, dyslexia or another learning difference. We talk about why these children are so often misunderstood, why their strengths can hide their struggles (and vice versa), and why so many bright neurodivergent children fall through the cracks. As both clinicians and parents of twice exceptional children ourselves, this conversation is packed with practical examples, personal stories and plenty of reassurance that you're not imagining things. In this episode we explore: What Twice Exceptional (2e) actually means How giftedness is also being differently wired, or neurodivergent Why gifted children can also have ADHD, autism or dyslexia as part of neurodivergence How bright children can mask their struggles at school Why schools sometimes miss both giftedness and neurodivergence The "spiky profile" that many 2e children have Perfectionism, anxiety and burnout in bright neurodivergent children Why 2e children ask "why?" about everything Parenting strategies that build connection instead of conflict How to better understand and advocate for your child Whether you're parenting a gifted ADHD child, wondering if your autistic child is also highly able, or recognising parts of yourself in this conversation, I hope this episode helps you feel seen. Resources & Links ✨ Join my free Nervous System Reset to help you move from overwhelm to calm (without having to sit still!): www.thethomasconnection.co.uk/reset . Connect with Emma: www.kindofextraordinary.co.uk Instagram @kindofextraordinary  TikTok @emma_kindofextraordinary   💛 If you enjoyed this episode, please follow the podcast, leave a review and share it with another parent who needs to hear this conversation.

Parental burnout isn't the same as feeling tired after a difficult day. It's an evidence-based psychological syndrome that can develop when the demands of parenting consistently outweigh the resources available to meet those demands. In this episode, I'm exploring what parental burnout actually is, why ADHD and neurodivergent families may be at greater risk, and the hidden role that perfectionism can play in keeping us stuck.  If you've ever found yourself thinking, "I don't recognise the parent I've become," this episode is for you. In this episode, we explore: What parental burnout is (and how it's different from everyday parenting stress) The four signs of parental burnout, based on the research of Professors Moïra Mikolajczak and Isabelle Roskam Why ADHD parents and parents of neurodivergent children may be particularly vulnerable How perfectionism quietly fuels parental burnout Three practical, evidence-informed ways to begin recovering from parental burnout Why support is scaffolding, not failure If this conversation resonates, I hope you'll remember one thing: Parental burnout isn't a sign you've failed your children. It's often a sign you've been trying to be a good parent for too long without enough support. 🥘This episode also mentioned Simmer Eats - not a paid affiliate, but genuinely a useful resource I treat myself to.  As someone who knows that ADHD brains often struggle with meal planning, cooking and decision fatigue, I'm delighted to partner with Simmer Eats.  Their high-protein, chef-made frozen meals have become a genuine staple in my freezer for those days when I need something nourishing without the mental load.  You can save 50% off your first order using my link: www.simmereats.com/r/michaela-SJU   💛Free nervous system reset If you're feeling overwhelmed, constantly "on", or like your nervous system never gets a chance to switch off, I've created a free guided Nervous System Reset to help you pause, regulate and reconnect with yourself. Join it here: www.thethomasconnection.co.uk/reset If you found this episode helpful, I'd be so grateful if you could follow the podcast, leave a review, or share it with another parent who might need to hear that they're not alone.

When your child is excluded from childcare, after-school club or wraparound care, the practical impact is obvious.  But the emotional impact is often hidden. In this episode, I'm talking about the shame, grief and isolation that many parents experience when the support they rely on suddenly disappears. Because for families raising neurodivergent children, losing childcare isn't just an inconvenience – it can remove one of the few opportunities parents have to work, recover or simply catch their breath. If you've ever received that difficult phone call, been told a setting "can't meet your child's needs", or found yourself wondering, "What happens now?", I hope this episode helps you feel a little less alone. In this episode, we explore: The hidden emotional impact of being excluded from childcare or wraparound care Why parents often carry shame when their child is struggling The difference between a child whose needs exceed a setting's capacity and a child who is "too difficult" Why losing childcare also means losing vital support for parents Letting go of self-blame when systems aren't able to meet your child's needs Why grieving the loss of support is a completely valid response If this episode resonates, I hope you'll remember this: Your child's needs are not a reflection of your worth as a parent. Sometimes families need more support than the systems around them are able to provide.   💛Free nervous system reset If you're carrying the emotional weight of parenting and your nervous system feels constantly on high alert, I've created a free guided Nervous System Reset to help you pause, regulate and reconnect with yourself. Join it for free here: www.thethomasconnection.co.uk/reset If you found this episode helpful, I'd be so grateful if you could follow the podcast, leave a review, or share it with another parent who might need to hear that they're not alone.