Episode 35: There Is No Perfect Consequence

Let’s just say it out loud. Big emotions from kids are hard. HARD. Your toddler falling to the floor in the middle of a store is HARD. Your kindergartner running away from you and screaming because they don’t want to wear their shoes at the park is HARD. Your teenager stomping down the hallway, shaking the windows with the force of their stomps, is HARD.  Can we all agree? It’s not fun. It’s not easy. It rattles our nervous systems. It shakes us. It frustrates us. And all of that is normal. Learn four things to know and do to make big emotions easier for you and your kiddos to handle.

When I say something like, “This is how to parent without punishment,” people respond with comments like, “How will kids ever learn?” Or “What about when they’re in the real world?” It's a legitimate question based on how our society views parenting. This episode answers the question of "how will they learn" and gives you three non-punitive things to do to facilitate learning and growth for your child. Mentioned in this episode:  How to Stop Yelling Back-and-Forth Journal

It’s a funny title, I know. But don’t we all just have a hard time liking certain people or groups of people sometimes? Listen in to learn how connected parenting principles can help us in all our relationships -- even with that cousin who’s always trying to pick a fight at family gatherings.   Pssst... Learn how to stop yelling!   Grab my back-and-forth journal here!

You tell your child they can't hit their sibling. They look in your eyes and nod solemnly. They really seem to understand! Then two minutes later, they hit their sibling again!  Aargh! Why do our kids not listen to us, and what can we do about it? Listen to four solid explanations about what's going on in your child's brain -- and what you can do differently.

It's a common approach: searching for the right consequence to change a child's behavior. But listen in to learn why this mindset doesn't lead to the change we're actually seeking. And try a new approach to help your relationship, help your child be successful, and help you feel more confident that your child is learning what they need to learn. Mentioned in this episode: How to Stop Yelling Back-and-Forth Journal Episode 2: Society Says to Control Your Children. Say NO

Raise your hand if you need a reset! (My hand is raised too!) You're not alone if you're struggling to maintain composure as you parent. This episode has four actionable, doable tips to help you reduce your yelling, and increase your connecting, today.  Mentioned in the episode: How to Stop Yelling Course Back-and-Forth Journal Episode 14: How to Recover After a Parenting Blowup Episode 9: 13 Easyish Ways to Connect With Your Kids

This episode shares a real-life example of what I think connected parenting can look like.  I often think it’s helpful to understand a concept when you can contrast it with something else. In this example, I show how my husband and I first parented in the more traditional way -- with threats and punishments and consequences -- and then how we switched back to connected parenting. In the end, I hope you will feel empowered. Mentioned in this episode: How to Stop Yelling Back-and-Forth Journal

Here's your holiday pep talk to remind you that you don't have to do all the things and make everything perfect. Listen in for fun ideas to make the season easier and less expensive, and hear how to give yourself a break and actually enjoy the season -- the way YOU want to. Mentioned in this episode: Blog Post: When Christmas Is Depressing Transforming Christmas: How to Give Experiences First Name Basis Podcast: How to Center Indigenous Peoples During Thanksgiving Back-and-Forth Journal Pause and Connect Academy

I don't know about you, but it seems to me like parents are given a lot of information on how to protect their small children from sexual abuse, but as children get older the advice seems to just... dwindle away. In my world at least, I don't see much about protecting tweens and teens. That's why I'm so happy to have Adrianne Simeone from The Mama Bear Effect on the podcast to share her expertise in protecting BOTH teens and children from sexual abuse. This episode is for all adults -- for parents of babies to teens, grandparents, aunts, uncles, teachers... really anyone who cares about children -- because we all can empower ourselves to protect them. Adrianne generously offered to ship out a Rock the Talk® Parent Pack to Pause and Connect listeners. Use the code PAUSECONNECT at the link below. Get a Rock the Talk® Parent Pack Follow The Mama Bear Effect: Facebook Instagram Tik Tok

We have this belief in our society -- and it’s a good belief -- that parents are responsible for teaching kids important life lessons. But I wonder if we sometimes go too far in our zeal to teach lessons. Do we need to manufacture lessons? Do we need to teach lessons in the moments of our children’s meltdowns? Do we even need to teach lessons in direct language every time?  These are important questions to ask ourselves. Listen in for a parenting lesson from the comedy show "Arrested Development," plus five tips for handling your child's mistakes WITHOUT lecturing, punishing, or yelling.   Mentioned in this episode: How to Stop Yelling at Your Kids Episode 17: You Should Use Hugs in Your Discipline. Here's How