Ep. 133: School Refusal with Eliza Fricker

Happy happy birthday to Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors.I wanted to celebrate with you! Y'all mean soooo much to me and resonating in the excitement of the book with you felt really important.This episode contains a short reading from the book that I hope you enjoy!If you've received the book already and have had a chance to read it, will you take a moment to leave a review on Amazon? Even if you didn't buy it there!It's the #1 way to help Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors reach the folks who really need it. A lost, struggling, hopeless parent. An educator who is open to new ways of being in the classroom. A play therapist looking for a new way to be with parents and kids.You can CLICK HERE if your podcast app lets you or just head to Amazon and search for Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors.Mark your calendars! The Club opens for new members September 26. Join the waiting list at https://robyngobbel.com/theclubRaising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors releases to the world on September 21! Grab your copy at https://robyngobbel.com/book ****Ready to dive deeper ?The Club is an online community of connection, co-regulation, and a little education for parents of kids with big, baffling behaviors. We open periodically for new members! Sign up on the waiting list at RobynGobbel.com/TheClubBeing With is a year-long training program for professionals. RobynGobbel.com/BeingWith

The best way to love your child’s watchdog and possum parts is by loving your own.Today, as I move toward wrapping up this writing-and-publishing-a-book chapter in my life, let’s talk a little more about the neuroscience of owls, watchdogs, and possums, why the science matters, and how my work has surprisingly become more about helping the grown-ups love their own owl, watchdog, and possum brains.Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors uses metaphor, story, and science to strengthen your owl brain (ventral vagal complex) and increase your window of stress tolerance. It is my hope that in reading this book, you will feel held by my owl brain.Thankfully, I have owl wings wrapped around my watchdog and possum brain, too. You can read about those folks in my acknowledgments. I have so many owls who have knit themselves into my neurobiology and strengthened my own owl self so that I can offer compassionate gratitude and nonjudgmental presence to you and your child.In this episode you’ll learn:The science of the owl brain through the lens of Interpersonal NeurobiologyThe science of the owl brain through the lens of polyvagal theoryThe best way to strengthen YOUR owl brainHow strengthening your owl brain is the best way to strengthen your child’sResources mentioned in this podcast:Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors released September 21. CLICK HERE to choose from a variety of pre-order bonuses, including a signed copy or 20% off.Free Resources! -  robyngobbel.com/freeresourcesRead the full transcript at: RobynGobbel.com/lovingyourwatchdogFollow Me On:FacebookInstagramOver on my website you can find:Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The ClubYear Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: Being WithMark your calendars! The Club opens for new members September 26. Join the waiting list at https://robyngobbel.com/theclubRaising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors releases to the world on September 21! Grab your copy at https://robyngobbel.com/book :::Applications for the 2023 cohort of Being With are now open! https://robyngobbel.com/beingwith ****Ready to dive deeper ?The Club is an online community of connection, co-regulation, and a little education for parents of kids with big, baffling behaviors. We open periodically for new members! Sign up on the waiting list at RobynGobbel.com/TheClubBeing With is a year-long training program for professionals. RobynGobbel.com/BeingWith

You’ve probably wondered how you can know the neuroscience of behavior and have a toolbox full of tools…and still struggle to actually USE those tools.Most parents have the thought “If I know what to do, why aren’t I actually doing it???”It’s not because you’re a bad parent.It’s because you’re dysregulated, have a sensitized stress response system, and probably have some implicit memories that leave you vulnerable to being triggered.In this episode you’ll learn:How very little of our behavior comes from conscious thoughtWhy your sensitized stress response system leaves you vulnerableWhy regulated, connected parents who feel safe parent the way they want toResources mentioned in this podcast:Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors released September 21. CLICK HERE to choose from a variety of pre-order bonuses, including a signed copy or 20% off.When Parenting is Traumatic {EP 95}Beginning of the memory series: Trauma, Memory, & Behavior Part 1 {EP 90}Read the full transcript at: RobynGobbel.com/knowwhattodoFollow Me On:FacebookInstagramOver on my website you can find:Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The ClubYear Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: Being WithMark your calendars! The Club opens for new members September 26. Join the waiting list at https://robyngobbel.com/theclubRaising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors releases to the world on September 21! Grab your copy at https://robyngobbel.com/book :::Applications for the 2023 cohort of Being With are now open! https://robyngobbel.com/beingwith ****Ready to dive deeper ?The Club is an online community of connection, co-regulation, and a little education for parents of kids with big, baffling behaviors. We open periodically for new members! Sign up on the waiting list at RobynGobbel.com/TheClubBeing With is a year-long training program for professionals. RobynGobbel.com/BeingWith

Instead of responding or reacting to challenging behaviors, think about it as calming the watchdog or the possum brain. Once you understand how your child’s behaviors correspond to their level of dysregulation and lack of felt safety, you’ll be able to use strategies (for regulation, connection, and felt safety) that really work.In this episode we’ll discuss:How challenging behaviors are the result of the stress response systemWhy some kids have sensitized stress responses that lead to baffling behaviorsStrategies to calm the watchdog and possum brainResources mentioned in this podcast:Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors released September 21. CLICK HERE to choose from a variety of pre-order bonuses, including a signed copy or 20% off.Free Resources! -  robyngobbel.com/freeresourcesRead the full transcript at: RobynGobbel.com/calmwatchdogpossumFollow Me On:FacebookInstagramOver on my website you can find:Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The ClubYear-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: Being WithMark your calendars! The Club opens for new members September 26. Join the waiting list at https://robyngobbel.com/theclubRaising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors releases to the world on September 21! Grab your copy at https://robyngobbel.com/book :::Applications for the 2023 cohort of Being With are now open! https://robyngobbel.com/beingwith ****Ready to dive deeper ?The Club is an online community of connection, co-regulation, and a little education for parents of kids with big, baffling behaviors. We open periodically for new members! Sign up on the waiting list at RobynGobbel.com/TheClubBeing With is a year-long training program for professionals. RobynGobbel.com/BeingWith

Wondering how to tackle your child's baffling behaviors effectively? Join me as I share insights from my comprehensive framework, as well as practical tools and an understanding of your own nervous system. We'll break down how three elements interweave to address complex behaviors and also discuss the subtitle behind my book, "Brain-body-sensory Strategies That Really Work."In this episode you’ll learn:Why the approach in Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors is an approach that ‘really works’Why Growing the Owl Brain is a more important place to focus than Responding to Watchdog and Possum Brain behaviorThe three things to address to Grow the Owl BrainResources mentioned in this podcast:Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors released September 21. CLICK HERE to choose from a variety of pre-order bonuses, including a signed copy or 20% off.Scaffolding Is A Form Of Co-regulation {EP 82}The Connected Therapist by Marti SmithRead the full transcript at: RobynGobbel.com/growtheowlbrainFollow Me On:FacebookInstagramOver on my website you can find:Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The ClubYear Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: Being WithMark your calendars! The Club opens for new members September 26. Join the waiting list at https://robyngobbel.com/theclubRaising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors releases to the world on September 21! Grab your copy at https://robyngobbel.com/book :::Applications for the 2023 cohort of Being With are now open! https://robyngobbel.com/beingwith ****Ready to dive deeper ?The Club is an online community of connection, co-regulation, and a little education for parents of kids with big, baffling behaviors. We open periodically for new members! Sign up on the waiting list at RobynGobbel.com/TheClubBeing With is a year-long training program for professionals. RobynGobbel.com/BeingWith

Understanding what behavior really is helps us:Stop playing behavior whack-a-moleUse strategies and tools that really workStay more regulated so we can use our thinking brain to make good choices about what to do nextWe’re going back to basics with today’s podcast episode with a short exploration of the neuroscience of behavior- especially the most baffling behavior.Resources mentioned in this podcast:Book pre-order/order: robyngobbel.com/bookRead the full transcript at:RobynGobbel.com/whatbehaviorreallyisFollow Me On:FacebookInstagramOver on my website you can find:Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The ClubYear-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: Being WithMark your calendars! The Club opens for new members September 26. Join the waiting list at https://robyngobbel.com/theclubRaising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors releases to the world on September 21! Grab your copy at https://robyngobbel.com/book :::Applications for the 2023 cohort of Being With are now open! https://robyngobbel.com/beingwith ****Ready to dive deeper ?The Club is an online community of connection, co-regulation, and a little education for parents of kids with big, baffling behaviors. We open periodically for new members! Sign up on the waiting list at RobynGobbel.com/TheClubBeing With is a year-long training program for professionals. RobynGobbel.com/BeingWith

Are you struggling to find common ground with your partner when it comes to parenting? This episode will shed light on this common dilemma as we discuss understanding behavior, creating a support plan, and cultivating authenticity and honesty within the family. We'll explore the reasons behind resistance to paradigm shifts and dive into the intricacies of the owl, watchdog, and possum metaphor. You'll learn how curiosity and connection can bridge differences with your parenting partner, even when they seem insurmountable.In this episode you’ll learn:The importance of addressing underlying issues and supporting your partner with parenting strugglesHow having different parenting styles or philosophies doesn’t mean you can’t be a successful partnershipAbout tools needed to navigate these challenges and strengthen the relationship with your parenting partnerResources mentioned in this podcast:Has Trauma Informed Become A Behavior Modification Technique? {Ep 54}What if Trauma Informed…Isn’t? {Ep 134}But- What About A Consequence?!?! {Ep 56}When Your Nervous System Is Fried {Ep 139}Self-Compassion Will Change Your Brain {Ep 8}Q&A! What Do I Do When My Kid Gets Stuck And Ends Up Flipping Her Lid? {Ep 74}Focus On The Nervous System To Change Beavior {Ep 84} (Podcast)Free resources: robyngobbel.com/freeresources Start Here Podcast Series: robyngobbel.com/startherepodcastBook pre-order/order: robyngobbel.com/bookRead the full transcript at: RobynGobbel.com/notonboardFollow Me On:FacebookInstagramOver on my website you can find:Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The ClubYear-Long Immersive & Holistic Training ProgrMark your calendars! The Club opens for new members September 26. Join the waiting list at https://robyngobbel.com/theclubRaising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors releases to the world on September 21! Grab your copy at https://robyngobbel.com/book :::Applications for the 2023 cohort of Being With are now open! https://robyngobbel.com/beingwith ****Ready to dive deeper ?The Club is an online community of connection, co-regulation, and a little education for parents of kids with big, baffling behaviors. We open periodically for new members! Sign up on the waiting list at RobynGobbel.com/TheClubBeing With is a year-long training program for professionals. RobynGobbel.com/BeingWith

Ever found yourself struggling to understand and support a child who simply doesn’t fit the mold? Dayna Abraham's way to Calm the Chaos might be just what you're looking for.  Dayna's journey from being a sibling to a challenging brother, to teaching dysregulated kids, and then parenting a unique child herself, offers a wealth of wisdom and practical strategies. Dayna has taken everything she's learned from supporting her son and now helps struggling families all around the world. In this episode you’ll learn:How Dayna’s personal experiences have led her to develop her Calm the Chaos framework for parentsThe importance of seeing kids uniqueness as something to be celebrated, not changedWhy parents deserve exactly what our kids deserve- safety and connection and understandingResources mentioned in this podcast:Lemon Lime AdventuresCalm the Chaos BookCalm the Chaos PodcastRead the full transcript at: RobynGobbel.com/CalmtheChaosFollow Me On:FacebookInstagramOver on my website you can find:Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The ClubYear-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: Being WithMark your calendars! The Club opens for new members September 26. Join the waiting list at https://robyngobbel.com/theclubRaising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors releases to the world on September 21! Grab your copy at https://robyngobbel.com/book :::Applications for the 2023 cohort of Being With are now open! https://robyngobbel.com/beingwith ****Ready to dive deeper ?The Club is an online community of connection, co-regulation, and a little education for parents of kids with big, baffling behaviors. We open periodically for new members! Sign up on the waiting list at RobynGobbel.com/TheClubBeing With is a year-long training program for professionals. RobynGobbel.com/BeingWith

Parenting a child with a vulnerable nervous system can feel like navigating a maze blindfolded. But what if we told you that understanding the balance between enabling and co-regulation could be your guiding light? This week, we break down this crucial contrast, demystifying the term 'enabling', often misconstrued in the mental health field, and venture into the science behind lowering demands - a strategy that can bolster your child’s stress response system.In this episode you'll learn:The importance of being self-attuned to whats hard vs. too hardHow to determine between lowering demands for your own comfort and doing it because it is genuinely too arduous for your childThe difference between enabling/codependent behaviors and co-regulationResources mentioned in this podcast:Connection or Protection??? {7}What to do after We Mess up {80}Stress Response System {94}Read a the full transcript at: RobynGobbel.com/EnablingFollow Me On:FacebookInstagramOver on my website you can find:Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The ClubYear Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: Being WithMark your calendars! The Club opens for new members September 26. Join the waiting list at https://robyngobbel.com/theclubRaising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors releases to the world on September 21! Grab your copy at https://robyngobbel.com/book :::Applications for the 2023 cohort of Being With are now open! https://robyngobbel.com/beingwith ****Ready to dive deeper ?The Club is an online community of connection, co-regulation, and a little education for parents of kids with big, baffling behaviors. We open periodically for new members! Sign up on the waiting list at RobynGobbel.com/TheClubBeing With is a year-long training program for professionals. RobynGobbel.com/BeingWith

Ever wondered how to build resilience in children who have suffered trauma? Our guest for today's episode, Ginger, Program Director for the Attachment and Trauma Network, gives a fresh perspective on it. Ginger's personal journey is inspiring, and her experience as a former child abuse investigator, an adoptive parent, and a survivor of postpartum and postadoption depression has shaped her approach to helping others. She shares her road to recovery, and how she found her calling in assisting families and children dealing with trauma and attachment issues.In this episode you'll learn:Transitioning from traditional behavior plans to focusing on the child's nervous systemThe importance of an adult's role in creating safe spacesPractical co-regulation strategies for educators and parentsResources mentioned in this podcast:Regulation and Co-Regulation: Accessible Neuroscience that Brings Calm into the ClassroomThe Attachment & Trauma NetworkRead the full transcript at: RobynGobbel.com/BuildingSafeSpacesFollow Robyn On:FacebookInstagramOver on my website you can find:Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The ClubYear-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: Being With***Professionals!!! Register for this once-a-year opportunity to train with me online.Reframing Resistance: Supporting Parents and Caregivers through the Lens of Relational NeuroscienceJuly 28, 2023, 10-12:30pm easternhttps://robyngobbel.com/reframingresistance:::Wondering where to start with all this information about behaviors and the nervous system?Subscribe to the START HERE podcast at RobynGobbel.com/StartHere****Ready to dive deeper?The Club is an Mark your calendars! The Club opens for new members September 26. Join the waiting list at https://robyngobbel.com/theclubRaising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors releases to the world on September 21! Grab your copy at https://robyngobbel.com/book :::Applications for the 2023 cohort of Being With are now open! https://robyngobbel.com/beingwith ****Ready to dive deeper ?The Club is an online community of connection, co-regulation, and a little education for parents of kids with big, baffling behaviors. We open periodically for new members! Sign up on the waiting list at RobynGobbel.com/TheClubBeing With is a year-long training program for professionals. RobynGobbel.com/BeingWith