Ep. 129: Grief in Parenting

I’m sure you’ve had moments (days, weeks, months) where it felt hard, maybe even impossible, to keep offering connection to your child.It is hard to offer connection to someone who seems to constantly reject it!If it feels hard to keep offering your child connection, I actually want you to shift your focus. Don’t prioritize offering connection to your child. Instead think about:Who can offer YOU connection?How can you offer connection to yourself?Who could you offer connection to who is able to receive it, and offer connection back?You’ll also learn how glitter boots are related to giving and receiving connection! Read the full transcript at: RobynGobbel.com/offeringconnectionFollow Me On:FacebookInstagramOver on my website you can find:Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)LOTS & LOTS of FREE ResourcesOngoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The ClubYear Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: Being With***Hey, if you listen to podcasts, you'll probably love listening to Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors on audiobook! Download it on Audible or wherever you get your audiobooks!*** Rose LaPiere, LPC-S, RPT-S, is teaching a course on how to incorporate owls, watchdogs, and possums into child and play therapy!Virtually, May 10 & 17, 2024.6 CEs, including APT. Https://RobynGobbel.com/Theraplay2024 :::Overwhelmed and unsure where to start? Check out the START HERE podcast- I put it together just to answer the question "Where do I start?" Get your invitation at RobynGobbel.com/StartHere :::::Want to pick Robyn's brain, hang out with her in Zoom meetings and a forum you can access in an app? Come join us in The Club!Are you a professional who wants to support families of kids with big, baffling behaviors? Then Being With is for you!Just need a little extra help? Head to RobynGobbel.com/FreeResources 

***Hey, if you listen to podcasts, you'll probably love listening to Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors on audiobook! Download it on Audible or wherever you get your audiobooks!*** Rose LaPiere, LPC-S, RPT-S, is teaching a course on how to incorporate owls, watchdogs, and possums into child and play therapy!Virtually, May 10 & 17, 2024.6 CEs, including APT. Https://RobynGobbel.com/Theraplay2024 :::Overwhelmed and unsure where to start? Check out the START HERE podcast- I put it together just to answer the question "Where do I start?" Get your invitation at RobynGobbel.com/StartHere :::::Want to pick Robyn's brain, hang out with her in Zoom meetings and a forum you can access in an app? Come join us in The Club!Are you a professional who wants to support families of kids with big, baffling behaviors? Then Being With is for you!Just need a little extra help? Head to RobynGobbel.com/FreeResources 

If regulated, connected kids who feel safe do well, does that mean connected kids are always cooperative?Definitely not! In fact, there’s a level of connection to others- and to themselves! - that invites in the safety to be UNcooperative!In this episode, you’ll learnHow safety can invite both cooperative and UNcooperative behaviorWhy too much cooperation would actually be a bad thingHow parenting with co-regulation and connection helps kids become more connected to themselvesResources mentioned in this podcast:Is Understanding Behavior Just Excusing It? {EP 109}Read the full transcript at: RobynGobbel.com/cooperativeFollow Me On:FacebookInstagramOver on my website you can find:Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)LOTS & LOTS of FREE ResourcesOngoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The ClubYear-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: Being With***Hey, if you listen to podcasts, you'll probably love listening to Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors on audiobook! Download it on Audible or wherever you get your audiobooks!*** Rose LaPiere, LPC-S, RPT-S, is teaching a course on how to incorporate owls, watchdogs, and possums into child and play therapy!Virtually, May 10 & 17, 2024.6 CEs, including APT. Https://RobynGobbel.com/Theraplay2024 :::::Want to pick Robyn's brain, hang out with her in Zoom meetings and a forum you can access in an app? Come join us in The Club!Are you a professional who wants to support families of kids with big, baffling behaviors? Then Being With is for you!Just need a little extra help? Head to RobynGobbel.com/FreeResources 

This is NOT an episode about how to make your kid go to school. What you WILL learn in this episode:What is pathological demand avoidance, or PDA?Schools valuing attendance above all is not helpfulYou are a good parent even if your kid doesn’t go to schoolThat sometimes, all we have to do is be niceResources mentioned in this podcast:Can’t Not Won’t by Eliza FrickerThe Family Experience of PDA by Eliza FrickerThe Educator's Experience of PDA by Eliza FrickerHow to Connect with Eliza Fricker:WebsiteFacebookInstagramTwitterRead a summary or the full transcript at: RobynGobbel.com/SchoolRefusalOver on my website you can find:Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The ClubYear Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: Being With***Hey, if you listen to podcasts, you'll probably love listening to Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors on audiobook! Download it on Audible or wherever you get your audiobooks!*** Rose LaPiere, LPC-S, RPT-S, is teaching a course on how to incorporate owls, watchdogs, and possums into child and play therapy!Virtually, May 10 & 17, 2024.6 CEs, including APT. Https://RobynGobbel.com/Theraplay2024 :::Overwhelmed and unsure where to start? Check out the START HERE podcast- I put it together just to answer the question "Where do I start?" Get your invitation at RobynGobbel.com/StartHere :::::Want to pick Robyn's brain, hang out with her in Zoom meetings and a forum you can access in an app? Come join us in The Club!Are you a professional who wants to support families of kids with big, baffling behaviors? Then Being With is for you!Just need a little extra help? Head to RobynGobbel.com/FreeResources 

The question of ‘can I heal’ or 'can my child heal' or ‘how do I (or my child) heal’ is a tricky one. Healing is a word that gets used a lot without really pausing to ask ourselves what it actually means. If we are aiming for a nebulous goal that hasn’t been defined, it will feel impossible to reach. Impossible tasks often feel hopeless.In this episode, you’ll learnWhy it’s most useful to stay focused on widening our window of stress toleranceHow co-regulation contributes to healingHow memory relates to trauma symptoms and healingResources mentioned in this podcast:What Does Co-Regulation Really Look Like? {EP 81}Scaffolding Is A Form Of Co-Regulation {Ep 82}Match The Energy, NOT The Dysregulation {EP 155}Felt Safety (Inside) - Part 1 {EP 161}Read the full transcript at: RobynGobbel.com/healFollow Me On:FacebookInstagramOver on my website you can find:Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)LOTS & LOTS of FREE ResourcesOngoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The ClubYear-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: Being With***Hey, if you listen to podcasts, you'll probably love listening to Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors on audiobook! Download it on Audible or wherever you get your audiobooks!*** Rose LaPiere, LPC-S, RPT-S, is teaching a course on how to incorporate owls, watchdogs, and possums into child and play therapy!Virtually, May 10 & 17, 2024.6 CEs, including APT. Https://RobynGobbel.com/Theraplay2024 :::::Want to pick Robyn's brain, hang out with her in Zoom meetings and a forum you can access in an app? Come join us in The Club!Are you a professional who wants to support families of kids with big, baffling behaviors? Then Being With is for you!Just need a little extra help? Head to RobynGobbel.com/FreeResources 

***This episode originally aired on February 2nd, 2021***Lying is probably the behavior parents seek support with the most.  It's confusing.  It's triggering.  It's exhausting. Did you catch last week's episode on X Ray Vision Goggles?  We can use those goggles to get underneath the lying so we can respond in ways that actually sets the boundary and increases the possibility of helping our children developing more socially and relationally appropriate behaviors. Free Infographic:https://RobynGobbel.com/lyinginfographicRead the full transcript at: https://robyngobbel.com/lying/Follow Me On:FacebookInstagramOver on my website you can find:Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)LOTS & LOTS of FREE ResourcesOngoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The ClubYear-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: Being With***Hey, if you listen to podcasts, you'll probably love listening to Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors on audiobook! Download it on Audible or wherever you get your audiobooks!*** Rose LaPiere, LPC-S, RPT-S, is teaching a course on how to incorporate owls, watchdogs, and possums into child and play therapy!Virtually, May 10 & 17, 2024.6 CEs, including APT. Https://RobynGobbel.com/Theraplay2024 :::::Want to pick Robyn's brain, hang out with her in Zoom meetings and a forum you can access in an app? Come join us in The Club!Are you a professional who wants to support families of kids with big, baffling behaviors? Then Being With is for you!Just need a little extra help? Head to RobynGobbel.com/FreeResources 

Do you live with someone or love someone who is chronically dysregulated?This episode isn’t an episode that is going to tell you what to do.This is an episode of commiseration. Of “I see you.”It is exhausting to live with someone who is chronically unhappy, or chronically dysregulated. Knowing you’re not alone can help.In this episode, you’ll learnHow nervous systems match each otherHow we get our sense of safety from the state of each other’s nervous systemThe serve & return and rhythms of relationship, and what happens when that gets disrupted Resources mentioned in this podcast:Self-Regulation Doesn’t Exist!!When Parenting Is Traumatic {EP 95}Felt Safety (Between) - Part 3 {EP 163}Read the full transcript at: RobynGobbel.com/chronicallydysregulated Follow Me On:FacebookInstagramOver on my website you can find:Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)LOTS & LOTS of FREE ResourcesOngoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The ClubYear-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: Being With***Hey, if you listen to podcasts, you'll probably love listening to Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors on audiobook! Download it on Audible or wherever you get your audiobooks!*** :::::Want to pick Robyn's brain, hang out with her in Zoom meetings and a forum you can access in an app? Come join us in The Club!Are you a professional who wants to support families of kids with big, baffling behaviors? Then Being With is for you!Just need a little extra help? Head to RobynGobbel.com/FreeResources 

***This episode originally aired on February 16th, 2021***Connection.  Empathizing.  Offering choices.  These parenting ideas sound good in theory but if you are living with a child who seems chronically angry or won’t get out of bed or is otherwise pretty much always unhappy or dysregulated- none of those parenting suggestions seem to do much good.  So…what should you do instead???This episode takes you through the three places I always recommend parents start first when they are trying to support their child who feels chronically dysregulated.1. Food, water, and movement2. Structure, routing, and predictability3. Stick closeThese may or may not help your child to decrease their level of arousal and dysregulation but they are always where I recommend parents start first!Download a FREE infographic:https://RobynGobbel.com/dysregulatedinfographicRead a full summary or the full transcript at: www.RobynGobbel.com/alwaysdysegulatedOver on my website you can find:Masterclass and eBook on What Behavior Really Is (FREE)eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The ClubYear Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: Being With***Hey, if you listen to podcasts, you'll probably love listening to Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors on audiobook! Download it on Audible or wherever you get your audiobooks!*** Rose LaPiere, LPC-S, RPT-S, is teaching a course on how to incorporate owls, watchdogs, and possums into child and play therapy!Virtually, May 10 & 17, 2024.6 CEs, including APT. Https://RobynGobbel.com/Theraplay2024 :::::Want to pick Robyn's brain, hang out with her in Zoom meetings and a forum you can access in an app? Come join us in The Club!Are you a professional who wants to support families of kids with big, baffling behaviors? Then Being With is for you!Just need a little extra help? Head to RobynGobbel.com/FreeResources 

It’s very common for all humans- kids and adults- to have more behavior struggles and dysregulation. Kids with vulnerable nervous systems, as well as attachment trauma, are especially likely to demonstrate some confusing patterns with regard to where they are regulated and where they aren’t. In this episode, you’ll learnThe neurobiology behind why it’s normal for kids (and adults) to behave better at school (or work or out shopping or wherever)How the connections in a family could be the trigger for dysregulationHow all families tend to have moments that ebb and flow in dysregulation- this is normalResources mentioned in this podcast:The Tragedy of Disorganized Attachment (Part 5 of 6) {EP 38}Stress Response System {EP 94}When Connection Isn't Safe {158}Read the full transcript at:  Follow Me On:FacebookInstagramOver on my website you can find:Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)LOTS & LOTS of FREE ResourcesOngoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The ClubYear-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: Being With***Hey, if you listen to podcasts, you'll probably love listening to Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors on audiobook! Download it on Audible or wherever you get your audiobooks!*** Rose LaPiere, LPC-S, RPT-S, is teaching a course on how to incorporate owls, watchdogs, and possums into child and play therapy!Virtually, May 10 & 17, 2024.6 CEs, including APT. Https://RobynGobbel.com/Theraplay2024 :::::Want to pick Robyn's brain, hang out with her in Zoom meetings and a forum you can access in an app? Come join us in The Club!Are you a professional who wants to support families of kids with big, baffling behaviors? Then Being With is for you!Just need a little extra help? Head to RobynGobbel.com/FreeResources 

***This episode originally aired on May 11th, 2021***You’ve asked yourself “Is this a behavior that’s coming from my child’s trauma?  Or is this regular acting out kid behavior???”Sometimes it’s pretty obvious but if you’re asking yourself that question, you’re probably in a situation where it isn’t obvious.What if I told you it doesn’t matter?Hear me out.Why do you want to figure that out?  Usually because it feels like you’ll handle the situation different based on the answer.But actually, it doesn’t matter. And it’s impossible to determine anyway.What you really want to think about is- how dysregulated is my child?And then respond to that!!  There are some core truths about humans- regulated, connected kids who feel safe do well.  So if you’re child isn’t doing well- ask yourself if this is about regulation, connection, felt-safety or some combination of those.Then, based on your child’s level of arousal/dysregulation, you can intervene in a way that will calm their arousal and bring back their owl brain.   To view the full summary or the full transcript visit: https://robyngobbel.com/traumabehavior/Over on my website you can find:Masterclass and eBook on What Behavior Really Is (FREE)eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The ClubYear Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: Being With***Hey, if you listen to podcasts, you'll probably love listening to Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors on audiobook! Download it on Audible or wherever you get your audiobooks!*** Rose LaPiere, LPC-S, RPT-S, is teaching a course on how to incorporate owls, watchdogs, and possums into child and play therapy!Virtually, May 10 & 17, 2024.6 CEs, including APT. Https://RobynGobbel.com/Theraplay2024 :::::Want to pick Robyn's brain, hang out with her in Zoom meetings and a forum you can access in an app? Come join us in The Club!Are you a professional who wants to support families of kids with big, baffling behaviors? Then Being With is for you!Just need a little extra help? Head to RobynGobbel.com/FreeResources