S3E9: When a Regulated Nervous System Is Actually the Problem

Last week I told you founders should dysregulate on purpose. This week I brought in someone who actually knows what she's talking about. Amanda Armstrong, founder of Regulated Living, listened to that episode and joined me to tell us what's real, what's misinformation and where I got it wrong. Turns out a regulated nervous system is a flexible one, and the word I should have used is capacity.We're breaking down:Why "dysregulation" was the wrong word (and why no state is a bad state)The nervous system ladder: green, yellow, red, and why yellow gets a bad rapYour stress bucket and how to stretch it without overflowing itA 30-second reset for before your next tough conversationTriggers, explained by a very small ChihuahuaHow to be a caring leader and still hold the lineFollow Amanda:Regulated LivingPodcast: Regulate and Rewire Instagram: @amandaontheriseHer book: Healing Through the Vagus NerveWant more People On Purpose®? Subscribe to the newsletter to keep the conversation going every week.

We're all for doing the work on your mental health here at Paradigm, but what if being calm and regulated is the thing holding your business back? Sometimes I think founders have to get a little uncomfortable before they can grow, so on this week's episode we're talking about what that can look like.We're breaking down:Why your brain treats a bear chasing you and your top performer being mad at you like the same emergencyThe "safe" habits keeping your business stuck, like watered-down feedback and the price increase you keep skippingWhy a hard conversation that "went really well" might be a red flagWhat the gym can teach founders about stress and growthThe question I'm still stuck on: how do you stay calm enough to lead and uncomfortable enough to grow?Want more People On Purpose®? Subscribe to the newsletter to keep the conversation going every week. This week's issue includes nervous system resources and practitioners I trust.

Everyone's an expert, everyone's confident, and everyone's posting about how well it's going. This week my friend Kaili, owner of Reveal Studio Co. and a copywriter and sales strategist, and I ask the question underneath all of it: can you be happy and successful, or are we all just faking it?We're yapping all about:Why someone becoming an expert on AI (or anything) overnight should make you ask some questionsThe GPT Kaili built and has to sunset, and what it taught her about building on a platform you don't ownWhy "this doesn't sell anymore" usually comes from someone about to sell you the fixThe year I made the most money in my business and was the most miserable I've ever beenWhat success looks like when you close the laptopWant more People On Purpose®? Subscribe to the newsletter to keep the conversation going every week.

Nobody really knows what's working in marketing right now, and Tayler Cusick Hollman, co-founder of Enji, is comfortable saying so. AI dropped a giant boulder into a dusty patch, and until the dust settles, she's putting her energy into what she can actually count on.We're breaking down:Why tracking your numbers keeps you honest about what's working (and why nothing in marketing is precious)The ads, PR, and events experiments that didn't pay off, and why she's still glad she tried themWhy Tayler is the face of Enji on purpose, and what getting rejected every day has taught her about trustHow she and her husband built a bootstrapped company on three part-time contractors, with no paychecks for themselvesWhat's next for Enji? Connecting your marketing to Claude and ChatGPT instead of competing with themWant more People On Purpose®? Subscribe to the newsletter to keep the conversation going every week.

Were you online enough this week? If not, here’s what you missed:A recruiter posted that bringing an iced coffee to an interview is unprofessional and would probably cost a candidate the job.The internet lost it.I had to ruin my own TikTok algorithm just to catch up on the discourse, and you might not like my take: the recruiter isn't wrong.In this week’s episode we're breaking down:The three things that actually drive a hiring decision, and why only one of them is in the candidate's control on interview dayWhy "unprofessional" is a culture-specific judgment, not an objective fact, and why that's actually not a bad thingWhat happens when your culture is undefined and your team is making hiring calls on vibes instead of something you've actually written downThe question I want every founder listening to this to sit with: what's your iced coffee?Want more People On Purpose®? Subscribe to the newsletter to keep the conversation going every week.

Some things are just impossible to ignore, and after working with over 150 businesses at Paradigm, I’ve noticed a pattern too good to keep to myself. This week I’m talking all about the three traits I notice in founders who scale, compared to the founders who seem to stay stuck right where they are. We're breaking down:Why needing too much information to make a decision can actually hold you backWhat it actually means to be calm in the eye of the stormAnd why founders who can say the hard things clearly are the ones who find the most success (and burn the fewest bridges)One caveat before you hit play: not every trait here is right for every stage of business. I'll tell you exactly who this episode is for in the first few minutes — and if the timing isn't right, file it away for later.The traits themselves are simple. Building the track record to actually trust them is the hard part.Want more People On Purpose®? Subscribe to the newsletter to keep the conversation going every week.

If you're using AI to help run your business (and let's be honest, who isn't), there's a real chance it already has access to employee information it legally shouldn't.This week we're breaking down:The three places employee data can accidentally end up in an AI's hands: your Drive settings, your AI's own settings, and your internal policiesWhy "business" or "enterprise" AI plans protect you less than you'd thinkA simple email trick to keep sensitive employee files out of reach entirelyWhy your recorded meetings could end up read back to you in a courtroom somedayNone of this is about fear-mongering AI, but it is about making sure the tools you're already using don't accidentally put your team, or your business, at legal risk.Want more People On Purpose®? Subscribe to the newsletter to keep the conversation going every week.

This week we’re joined by Braden Drake: wedding industry lawyer and longtime friend. We cover a lot in this episode, but it all keeps circling back to one idea: information used to be the thing a business could sell. Now that AI can get you information in a snap, connection is what’s really for sale.We're breaking down:Classifying your team by what you actually need, not what’s easiest to avoidWhat to do when someone steals your work (hint: it’s not a lawsuit)The real reason people quit small teams.Braden’s “green flag” system for actually following through on priorities.We ask a lot of important questions in this episode, but an important one remains unanswered: Should Braden and I start a podcast?Want more People On Purpose®? Subscribe to the newsletter to keep the conversation going every week.

Every founder bottleneck comes down to one of two things:First, capacity. You don’t have time to do everything (and it certainly doesn’t help that what you think is a “quick 15-minute task” usually takes much longer to complete.)Then there’s clarity. Your team doesn’t have the information or permission to make decisions without you, so you become the thing in the way of getting things done.We can’t snap our fingers and give you more hours in the day (believe me, we’ve tried), but we can help with the clarity problem, and that’s exactly what we’re doing in this episode.We’re breaking down:Why founder bottlenecks are usually about control, not capabilityHow to approach clarity bottlenecks differently than capacity onesWhat your team’s questions actually say about you as a leaderWhat happens when you avoid feedback to hide from difficult conversationsTalking about being the bottleneck in your business can feel awkward and boring. But being the bottleneck in your business can be the difference between moving forward or staying stuck.Want more People On Purpose®? Subscribe to the newsletter to keep the conversation going every week.

Can your business run without you? This question is a bit of a two-parter.First there's the day-to-day. Your team, your SOPs, your business's ability to keep things moving whether you're there or not.Then there's the bigger picture. Quality control, vision for the future, the judgment calls nobody else can make for you. That's what this week's episode is all about.We're breaking down:Why revenue isn't the tell-all metric. The year Kira ran her business almost entirely without her, and what it cost long after the P&L still looked fine.The four things that stay yours, no matter what you delegate. What quality looks like going out the door, the relationship context living in your head, the "no list" you enforce without saying it out loud, and the escalation logic your team is guessing at.What getting laid off from her own COO job taught Kira about culture. Thirteen and a half years in, and how a right-hand person can quietly absorb the whole business without anyone deciding that on purpose.Season 3 runs on questions like this one. Subscribe to the newsletter to keep the conversation going every week.