83: The ‘F_ck It’ Method

🎙 Episode OverviewI got called a bitch and a disgrace to nursing enough times this week to make a whole episode about it. So here we go.I had a reel go moderately viral about focus time for nurse managers — specifically, the tool of telling someone "I'll be with you in ten minutes" instead of dropping everything the second they walk in your office. The reel did its job (hello, new followers, new nurse leaders signing up for my free workshop next week). It also lit up my comment section with a wave of rage that I want to walk you through, because what happened there is not just internet drama. It's a case study in why nurse leadership is so hard — and why so many nurse managers sabotage themselves trying to prove they're "one of the good ones."This episode unpacks the comments, names the sociology underneath them, and gives you five concrete moves to hold the line when the role itself sets you up to be misunderstood.🔑 In This Episode, You'll LearnWhy nurse managers who care often sabotage themselves by becoming too availableThe visibility trap: why firefighting feels like leadership but isn'tThe sociology underneath "us vs. them" — social identity theory, in-group favoritism, out-group homogeneity, realistic conflict theory — and how it plays out on your unitWhy bedside credibility is treated like currency that expires the day you get promotedHow to respond to disrespect in a comment section (and what that teaches you about handling it at work)Five concrete moves to hold the line as a nurse leader when the role itself sets you up to be misunderstood📣 Special AnnouncementsMy free workshop, Why Nurse Leadership Is So Hard and What to Fix First, is live on November 17th. I'm walking through all 10 structural reasons nurse leadership is so hard — being the enemy on day one is just one of them, and nobody is talking about the other nine.If you've ever closed your office door and felt guilty, walked out of huddle knowing you became the villain in someone's break room story, or took the job wanting to be a different kind of manager and realized it's harder than it should be — this one is for you. Every reason is structural, which means none of it is a sign you're failing. Once you see it clearly, you stop taking it personally and get smarter about where to push.👉 Resources MentionedFree Workshop: Why Nurse Leadership Is So Hard and What to Fix First (November 17)Instagram: @nursing.the.system

🎙 Episode OverviewThis episode is brought to you by Sarah, a longtime Instagram friend and ER nurse who sent me a DM for Free Advice Friday that was so good I asked if I could turn it into a podcast episode. She said yes.Sarah's story is simple and incredible. She and her coworkers had a plan to collectively ask their boss to fix a few small, annoying things on their unit. Before the group could even make the ask, Sarah just… did it herself. Submitted the facilities requests. Got the thermometers moved, got longer cords for the scanners and signature pads, made her entire team's job a little easier.No one stopped her. No one told her no. And now life on that unit is a little better.This is what change making actually looks like most of the time. Not grand projects, not million-dollar overhauls — just someone noticing the friction and doing something about it. Let's talk about why this story matters, when to take Sarah's approach yourself, and what leaders can learn from it.🎧 How to Get the Most Out of This EpisodeAs you listen, keep your actual workday in mind. What's the small, stupid thing that's been annoying you for months (or years)? The outlet that doesn't work, the workflow that needs one tiny tweak, the order set that would save you fifteen minutes a shift. Pick one and ask yourself: do I actually have the agency to fix this myself?👉 Resources MentionedThe Impact Snapshot (free assessment)Map Your Impact (mini course)Instagram: @nursing.the.system

🎙 Episode OverviewMini episode today. I'm walking you through how I'm approaching Q4, which historically at my corporate job is absolutely bonkers, and which — based on conversations with my nurse leader clients — tends to be the same across hospitals, outpatient clinics, and corporate alike. End-of-year initiatives, hitting those final metrics, and planning for 2027 all collide in these last 90 days.I'm going back to the word I set as my intention for 2026: unhurried. September blew that intention up for me (a move, a conference, the Change Maker Essentials launch, life admin), and now that I'm on the other side of it, I'm craving unhurried more than ever. So this episode is my three tactics for ending the year with more peace, not more pedal-to-the-metal.Take what fits your season and leave the rest.🔑 In This Episode, You'll LearnWhy Q4 tends to pull leaders into reactive, outcome-chasing mode — and how to interrupt that patternHow to use a word of the year as a filter for Q4 decision-makingWhy reevaluating a working system (not just a broken one) is a strategic move, not overkillHow to intentionally schedule play, peace, and joy before the calendar fills itself with work and scrollingWhy focusing on process over outcomes can be the thing that keeps you steady through a chaotic quarter🧠 Key Ideas to Take With YouYou don't have to live your intention 100% — a 5–20% shift toward it by year-end is still a winA calendar that isn't broken can still be improved; "working fine" is not the ceilingThe mental calm you want is not on the other side of empty evenings with a screenPlay, peace, and joy need to be scheduled or something else will take that timeProcess-focused presence drops you back into the moment and keeps you unhurried about outcomesChange makers reflect, set intentions, and course correct early — even in Q4, it's never too lateCome January 1, you'll be 90 days wiser no matter what you choose to do with them👉 Resources MentionedSystem Sunday email listChange Maker Essentials WaitlistNurse Leader HQInstagram: @nursing.the.system

🎙 Episode OverviewShorter episode today, and a candid one. I'm walking you through what I've learned in the last six days of the Change Maker Essentials launch — from inside the messy middle of a launch that has not gone the way I expected.March 2026 was our record CME cohort. Coming into this one, we did a full post-mortem, replicated everything that worked, improved a few things, and expected similar (or better) numbers. That's not what happened. This episode is me sharing how I read the data, checked the story I was telling myself, identified what's within my control and what isn't, and how I'm choosing to respond.There's a case study in here about resilience, a framework for sorting luxury vs. essential purchases in a tight financial season, and a reminder that CME closes tomorrow at midnight.🔑 In This Episode, You'll LearnHow to read your data honestly when a project isn't performing the way you expectedWhy one record month is not the new normal — and the risk of treating it as oneHow to check the story you're telling yourself before you spend energy fixing the wrong problemWhat to do when your process is identical but your results are differentHow to give yourself grace when the roadblock is genuinely externalThree questions to sort a "luxury" purchase from a "strategic essential" in a financially tight season📣 Special AnnouncementsChange Maker Essentials closes tomorrow at midnight in your time zone. Payment plans (three-month and six-month) available. Most nurses who ask their employer for funding get it fully covered — DM me for the funding email template and PDF guide if you need them.If this is not your season, put yourself on the waitlist. CME opens again in March. But if you're already leaning in, don't manufacture a reason to wait — reach out this week.👉 Resources MentionedChange Maker Essentials (closes Monday, September 28 at midnight)Instagram: @nursing.the.system

🎙 Episode OverviewThis episode is repurposed from an Instagram Live I did this week during the CME Launch — and I'm bringing it to the podcast because the questions people asked are the exact questions I get every launch. If you've been considering CME or a program like it, this is the deepest, most honest FAQ I've ever done in one sitting.I answer questions submitted via DMs, lightning calls, and the story question box: what CME actually is, how much time it takes, whether it works if you're not in healthcare, what a lightning call is like, cost and payment options, whether you can take longer than 12 weeks, how CME stacks with one-on-one coaching and Nurse Leader HQ, and what happens if you decide this isn't the right season for you.If you've been on the fence, this is your all-in-one answer.📣 Special AnnouncementsChange Maker Essentials is open through Monday, September 28. The program is $1297 with pay-in-full, three-month, or six-month payment plan options. RNs earn 30 contact hours of continuing education toward license renewal.If you miss this cohort, CME opens again in March. But if you're already leaning in, don't manufacture a reason to wait — reach out this week.👉 Resources MentionedChange Maker Essentials program page (enrollment closes Monday, September 28)Instagram: @nursing.the.system

🎙 Episode OverviewThis episode was sparked by a DM from a nurse considering Changemaker Essentials. Her question: "What does being a changemaker actually look like in real life? How would my life be materially different after the program?" Fair question. So I'm answering it with a real case study.Meet Heather (name changed). She joined CME as a new grad nurse, six to nine months into her career, sitting on her unit's nursing practice council watching four-hour meetings dissolve into circular arguments with nothing to show for them. Over 12 weeks, she pulled four specific tools from the CME curriculum and used them to change how her council operated — without a title, without seniority, and without waiting for permission.If you're on the fence about CME, this is the concrete "what would I actually do with this?" you've been asking for. And if you're already a grad, this is a masterclass in stacking the tools you already have.🔑 In This Episode, You'll LearnHow Heather diagnosed three distinct problems hiding underneath what looked like a "bad meeting"Why "staffing shortage" is often the symptom of a deeper acuity-assignment patternHow to spot the difference between a problem you can solve and a problem that isn't yours to solveThe four specific CME tools Heather used and exactly how she applied each oneWhy the change myth of "start with a solution" is one of the most damaging patterns in team meetingsWhy CME gives you a toolbox, not a checklist — and why that matters for real change work📣 Special AnnouncementsChangemaker Essentials is OPEN for enrollment today (Monday, September 21) through Monday, September 28. You have one week.👉 Resources MentionedChange Maker Essentials (enrollment open Sept 21–28)Instagram: @nursing.the.system

🎙 Episode OverviewMiddle leadership is the loneliest job in healthcare. I know because I've lived it—and I hear it from my nurse leader clients every single week. Even when you have a great one-up leader, a peer to share an office with, and a team you care about, the role itself carries a specific kind of loneliness that most people never name.And if you're not a formal leader listening to this: stay with me. Understanding what your middle manager is actually up against changes how you ask her for resources, how you bring her ideas, and how effectively you get things done in the system. That's a change leadership advantage.Today we're breaking down where the loneliness comes from structurally (spoiler: it's not about you), and four concrete actions middle managers can take to feel less alone and become more effective changemakers.🔑 In This Episode, You'll LearnWhere downward loneliness comes from—and why it's real even in the healthiest culturesWhere upward loneliness comes from—and why it's actually healthy (to a point)Why your role as a "boundary spanner" is the source of both directional lonelinessesThe perception trap: how frontline staff and senior leaders both misread youWhy so many middle managers feel isolated even when other middle managers exist in the buildingFour concrete actions you can take to build connection into a role that structurally resists it📣 Special AnnouncementsIt's Change Maker Essentials season. Waitlist is open now, enrollment opens September 21st.CME is my direct response to exactly the problem this episode names: middle leaders (and future middle leaders) don't have the permission structure, support, resources, or cohort to train effectively as change leaders. That's what CME is built for.Waitlist perks:$200 off tuition (early bird discount, waitlist only)Sneak peeks of lessonsA set of mini-lesson emails I just finished writingOption to book a free 15-min lightning call with me before you decide👉 Resources MentionedChange Maker Essentials WaitlistChange Maker Essentials Sales PageInstagram: @nursing.the.system

🎙 Episode OverviewToday's episode was sparked by a question from Jessica, a podcast listener and Changemaker Essentials grad—thank you, Jessica. She asked how to actually cultivate belonging on a team, because most of the advice out there stops at "be nice and hope your team catches the vibe." That's not enough. Belonging is not a vibe you set—it's a system you design.I'm going to walk you through the framework I use, both on my international virtual corporate team (7 of my 10 team members are fully remote across multiple time zones) and inside the Changemaker Essentials cohort. Same principles, different contexts. You'll get the three layers to build—relationship, orchestration, and culture in the room—plus a bunch of concrete examples of structural touchpoints you can steal.🔑 In This Episode, You'll LearnWhy psychological safety starts in one-on-ones—and how the way you show up there sets the standard for everything elseThe difference between structure (the skeleton) and culture (what happens in the room)—and why you need bothWhy you as a leader are not the source of belonging; you're the orchestrator of itConcrete structural touchpoints that build belonging in virtual and hybrid environmentsHow to run icebreakers that people actually don't hateWhy having a team culture mission statement makes hiring, meetings, and daily decisions easier📣 Special AnnouncementsChange Maker Essentials enrollment is opening in September. Waitlist emails start going out next week, so if you want first access to the details, dates, and the opportunity to book a vibe-check Zoom with me before signing up—get on the waitlist now.Joining the waitlist is zero commitment. You'll have plenty of time to make a thorough decision, ask questions, and see if this is the room you want to be in.👉 Resources MentionedChange Maker Essentials (September enrollment — join the waitlist)The Impact Snapshot (free assessment)Instagram: @nursing.the.system

🎙 Episode OverviewWe're back. About a month ago, in my mid-year reflection (episode 75), I made a decision on air: pause the podcast, force myself to rebuild consistency on Instagram, and see what happened. This episode is the results report.The short version: it worked. I've been posting on Instagram four to five times a week, I have dozens of posts in the queue, and it now feels easy—which honestly floored me, because I've been telling myself for years that Instagram was too hard. And in the process of leaning into Instagram, I also had the creative bandwidth to build something new for you: The Impact Snapshot, a free assessment I'll tell you about at the end of the episode.Consider this a model. If there's something you've been avoiding because you keep telling yourself it's too hard, what could you deprioritize for the next four to six weeks to prove yourself wrong?🔑 In This Episode, You'll LearnWhat actually happened when I paused the podcast for a month and forced myself into InstagramWhy the "it's too hard" story about a skill is almost always a story, not a factThe unexpected creative and strategic benefits I got from switching my focusHow this experiment surfaced a new front door to Nursing the System (spoiler: it's the Impact Snapshot)The reflection to run on yourself right now to try the same experiment👉 Resources MentionedThe Impact Snapshot (new free assessment)Instagram: @nursing.the.system

🎙 Episode OverviewIt's Wednesday, the first week of July. I just spent three hours writing my mid-year self-review for corporate, and it hit me: I haven't done this for the rest of my life. The first half of 2026 is done—how did that happen?—and it's really easy to skip over the milestone and just keep moving.So this episode is my mid-year reflection, out loud, in real time, with you. I'm reviewing my word of the year (unhurried), the three "wildly unexciting" goals I set in January, what I actually accomplished, where life bled into work, what I've been postponing, and what I want the second half of the year to feel like.Fair warning: this is unfiltered. I made three real decisions live on this recording, including one I did not see coming when I hit record. If you set intentions in January—even quietly—I want to encourage you to do this exercise too.🔑 In This Episode, You'll LearnWhy mid-year reflection matters even (especially) when things are going wellHow to review a word of the year to see if it still fits, or needs revisionWhy setting attainable "basement goals" is often the more strategic move than audacious onesThe value of a decision log at the end of any reflection—so the insights don't evaporate the second you close your laptopWhy organizations (and people) tend to only reflect when something goes wrong—and how to break that pattern🧠 Key Ideas to Take With YouThe goal is the ideal—reflection is about seeing how close you got, not judging whether you were perfectLife is a system; your work doesn't happen in a vacuum, and neither does your fitness, your relationships, or your creative outputIf your system isn't producing the results you want, don't blame yourself—look for the right lever to pull"Basement goals" (bare minimum baselines) are more inspiring in a season of unhurried than audacious onesThe thing you keep postponing is often the thing you'd tell a client to just doDo this reflection when things are good, not just when things are on fire—that's where the compounding growth isLearning is only possible from reflection, and reflection needs some structure (even if it's just sitting on your sofa with your phone)📣 Special AnnouncementsThis is my last podcast episode until August. I realized during this reflection that I keep defaulting to podcast (which I love) over Instagram (which I need for reaching new listeners and growing the business). To break the pattern, I'm pausing the podcast for the rest of July and forcing myself to rebuild consistency on Instagram.Applications for Nurse Leader HQ are still open. If you've been sitting on the fence, DM me or apply at the link in the show notes—we'll hop on a quick call to see if it's the right fit.While the podcast is on pause, come find me on Instagram (@nursing.the.system)—and please bully me in the DMs if I'm not posting. I've given you full permission.👉 Resources MentionedNurse Leader HQ (applications still open)Change Maker EssentialsSystem Sunday email listInstagram: @nursing.the.system