Safe as Houses

IN WHICH: Alfie’s hand is forced and the situation becomes more than he can bear. Neige must step beyond his opinion to help Alfie hold to his values in a moment of overwhelm.Transcript: https://hangingslothstudios.com/snow-blood/3-blood-struck/Get episodes EARLY and AD FREE on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/hangingslothstudiosContent WarningsDiscussions of bloodSounds of medical equipment (infusion pump, oxygen concentrator)Descriptions of blood drawsDepictions of characters in distressMedical malpractice, including inappropriate use of sedativesThreats of violenceDepictions of violenceScenes with blood drinkingSnow Blood is created, written, directed, performed, and sound designed by Eira Major. It is distributed in Network with Rusty Quill. Fangs a lot to the show's supporters on Kickstarter, without whom this show would not exist.Not Quite Dead is back, with spin-off series Snow Blood. Set years after the original story, Snow Blood follows Alfie and Neige as they attempt to start to build a better life for themselves and vampires everywhere. One problem; none of the other vampires want to help, and there is this guy who keeps calling, over and over, insisting Alfie comes to meet him... Snow Blood is crowdfunding on Kickstarter from 7th April to 8th May, 2026 and will air in October 2026. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

IN WHICH: A starving, panicked Alfie and put-upon but indulgent Neige bring a guest to the safehouse where Alfie has been storing medical equipment. keeping him alive is complicated, for more reasons than one.Transcript: https://hangingslothstudios.com/snow-blood/2-safe-as-houses/Get episodes EARLY and AD FREE on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/hangingslothstudiosContent Warningsviolencestrong languagesounds of laboured breathingmedical procedures performed outside of a medical settingsounds of blood and viscerasounds of medical equipment (oxygen concentrator, ventilator, infusion pump)scenes of a sexual natureexplicit threats of bodily harmreferences to deathreferences to killingSnow Blood is created, written, directed, performed, and sound designed by Eira Major. It is distributed in Network with Rusty Quill. Fangs a lot to the show's supporters on Kickstarter, without whom this show would not exist. Not Quite Dead is back, with spin-off series Snow Blood. Set years after the original story, Snow Blood follows Alfie and Neige as they attempt to start to build a better life for themselves and vampires everywhere. One problem; none of the other vampires want to help, and there is this guy who keeps calling, over and over, insisting Alfie comes to meet him... Snow Blood is crowdfunding on Kickstarter from 7th April to 8th May, 2026 and will air in October 2026. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

IN WHICH: In between running a night club in Buenos Aires and conducting experiments to see if vampire blood can help the terminally ill, Alfie and Neige receive a series of strange calls, inspiring paranoia in Alfie and irritation in Neige.Transcript: https://hangingslothstudios.com/snow-blood/1-dead-ringer/Get episodes EARLY and AD FREE on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/hangingslothstudiosContent WarningsMentions of bloodExplicit references to sexDepiction of a character who is dying of terminal illness, wheezing, struggling to speak'Mercy Killing'Discussions of the ethics of mercy killingsDescriptions of bloodBiting into flesh, with sound effectsSnow Blood is created, written, directed, performed, and sound designed by Eira Major. It is distributed in Network with Rusty Quill. Fangs a lot to the show's supporters on Kickstarter, without whom this show would not exist. Not Quite Dead is back, with spin-off series Snow Blood. Set years after the original story, Snow Blood follows Alfie and Neige as they attempt to start to build a better life for themselves and vampires everywhere. One problem; none of the other vampires want to help, and there is this guy who keeps calling, over and over, insisting Alfie comes to meet him... Snow Blood is crowdfunding on Kickstarter from 7th April to 8th May, 2026 and will air in October 2026. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Snow Blood, a Not Quite Dead Vampire Story, is coming 28th October 2026! Listen early and ad free on Patreon at patreon.com/hangingslothstudios from 27th October. Live, Laugh, Bite. [A CAR APPROACHES]ALFIEAh, Neige![ALFIE HEADS OUTSIDE, THE CAR ENGINE BRIEFLY LOUDER BEFORE IT CUTS OUT. WAVES CRASH NEARBY] ALFIE Oh my god. You were so long, I thought you weren’t coming. NEIGEThere were people outside. I had to wait to carry him out, non? ALFIEYeah, that makes sense. Uh. Where is he? NEIGEIn the car. ALFIEI can’t see— oh my god. Did you put him in the boot?!NEIGEIt made the most sense. ALFIEHow?! NEIGEHe was covered in blood and I did not want to get pulled over!ALFIEHe has a head injury! He could have— oh my god. I told you to keep him alive!NEIGEOui, and he is breathing and he has a pulse? Pas de problem!ALFIEThere is a problem, actually! If he’s got brain damage, then—NEIGEUgh, you are such a drag! Just give him some blood and he will be fine. ALFIEYou are impossible!NEIGENon, just improbable. This would all have been much easier if you had just let me kill him. ALFIENo. Now get out of the way. NEIGEUgh, you are no fun!Not Quite Dead is back, with spin-off series Snow Blood. Set years after the original story, Snow Blood follows Alfie and Neige as they attempt to start to build a better life for themselves and vampires everywhere. One problem; none of the other vampires want to help, and there is this guy who keeps calling, over and over, insisting Alfie comes to meet him... Snow Blood is crowdfunding on Kickstarter from 7th April to 8th May, 2026 and will air in October 2026. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

MORE SHOW, MORE VAMPIRES, COMING SOON! Find out more here.UNKNOWN CALLERMr Dellon, I have information which will be important for you. Please go to address listed in my last email; I cannot give information on phone. I know what you are, Mr Dellon. Please. [PHONE HANGS UP]ALFIEFor fuck’s sake. [THUD][A DOOR OPENS]NEIGEEverything okie? ALFIEAh, yeah. Just got another one of those weird voicemails. NEIGEThat is what you get for giving out your number the way that you do. ALFIEI need people to be able to reach me safely, anonymously if they have to. Everyone’s afraid. I need to make that as small a barrier as I can for people reaching out. NEIGEAh, it is a noble project you are proposing, but the vampires, they will not talk to you yet. It is too soon. They know you have human friends, still living their human lives. ALFIESo I’m supposed to sit and wait patiently until everyone I know is dead?!NEIGENon. But I think it may mean you need to rethink your, ah, approche tactique? It is a big risk for to share our stories, even anonymised. Whether or not you say it aloud, you are asking people to expose themselves to the world, and the world is not fond of us. ALFIEVisibility is vulnerable, yeah. But if we want acceptance, if we want rights, first we need to show people we exist. We’ve always existed, humans just haven’t really noticed. NEIGEAll I am saying is that this process will be slow, mon raleur. You know this. ALFIEI know. Sorry. I’m just. Annoyed. I get excited every time there’s a message on the voicemail thing but it’s always just these bloody—! like for real, I do not actually fully understand what they’re expecting me to do. NEIGEBut he is giving you clear instructions, non? Go to this place for more information. ALFIEI can’t just go to a random internet cafe in Amsterdam because a nameless voice instructs me to. NEIGEAnd yet I get a sense that each time you get these messages you get closer to doing it. ALFIEI’m not going to go. NEIGEPerhaps not. But what if it is the beginning of what you want? What if this voice on the machine is a vampire who is willing to talk about his story with you? Hmm?ALFIEI thought you wanted me to be patient. NEIGEI do, but I am being an, ah. How you say? Advocate for the devil? ALFIEDarling, you’re always advocating for the devil. When was the last time you put on clothes? NEIGENudity is not sinful, I will not allow this nonsense into my home. Anyway, you will do as you like, regardless of what I say or think. You have proven this to me. I am simply attempting to be a good and supportive lover to you. Is there harm in this?ALFIENo. No, there’s not. Snow Blood, a sequel series to Not Quite Dead, will start airing in October 2026. It will be crowdfunding on Kickstarter from the 7th of April. Sign up for updates right now at tiny.cc/snow-blood - to be the first to hear when the campaign launches! The first five people to support at certain tiers will get a ‘first blood’ 10% discount. Go to tiny.cc/snow-blood, live, laugh, bite.Not Quite Dead is back, with spin-off series Snow Blood. Set years after the original story, Snow Blood follows Alfie and Neige as they attempt to start to build a better life for themselves and vampires everywhere. One problem; none of the other vampires want to help, and there is this guy who keeps calling, over and over, insisting Alfie comes to meet him... Snow Blood is crowdfunding on Kickstarter from 7th April to 8th May, 2026 and will air in October 2026. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Strap in for some of the most long-winded answers to questions I've ever given; multiple times where I just start laughing; and possibly the longest outro segment I've ever done, which happened entirely by accident. Thank you SO much for all of your questions!Help me keeping making shows AND get more vampire stuff on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/cw/hangingslothstudiosAsk me your extra Qs over on the show's tumblr: https://notquitedeadpod.tumblr.com/Get updates over on Bluesky: https://bsky.app/profile/hangingsloth.bsky.socialInfo about Not Quite Dead is available here: https://hangingslothstudios.com/not-quite-dead/Not Quite Dead is written, created and performed by Eira Major, under a creative commons 4.0 attribution license, with Kickstarter Vampire Producers Aster and Ted. Live, laugh, bite.Not Quite Dead is back, with spin-off series Snow Blood. Set years after the original story, Snow Blood follows Alfie and Neige as they attempt to start to build a better life for themselves and vampires everywhere. One problem; none of the other vampires want to help, and there is this guy who keeps calling, over and over, insisting Alfie comes to meet him... Snow Blood is crowdfunding on Kickstarter from 7th April to 8th May, 2026 and will air in October 2026. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Check in with Alfie and Neige after the end of the show in this Bonus Minisode, created thanks to the wonderful folks who supported the show on Kickstarter last year. For more bonus content, consider signing up to support me on Patreon, where you'll get access to short-stories set in the NQD universe; creator's notes on episodes; ad-free access to the whole show; and more! Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/hangingslothstudiosTranscript: https://hangingslothstudios.com/ambrosia/Or: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1jGXTJ6PfWnpokH3tt9-eshpL92ADVfhwCcfcWt9bT_Y/editContent Warnings: Allusions to sexDouble entendreMentions of deliberate rib-breakingBrief description of spelunkingNot Quite Dead is written, created and performed by Eira Major, under a creative commons 4.0 attribution license, with Kickstarter Vampire Producers Aster and Ted. Live, laugh, bite.Music: Debussy's Clair de Lune, performed by Caela Harrison.Not Quite Dead is back, with spin-off series Snow Blood. Set years after the original story, Snow Blood follows Alfie and Neige as they attempt to start to build a better life for themselves and vampires everywhere. One problem; none of the other vampires want to help, and there is this guy who keeps calling, over and over, insisting Alfie comes to meet him... Snow Blood is crowdfunding on Kickstarter from 7th April to 8th May, 2026 and will air in October 2026. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Cyan Goodman did not belong at Twelvelms and everyone knew it. Especially him.Find out more about the show: https://hangingslothstudios.com/twelvelms/Explore the world: https://twelvelms.wordpress.com/world/Listen to episodes early and ad free on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/c/hangingslothstudiosEpisode Transcript: https://hangingslothstudios.com/ttc-1-1/Content WarningsDescriptions of self-inflicted injury, in a ritual settingImplications of arsonDiscussion of child abuse and neglectDescription of violent murderThe Twelvelms Conspiracy is an audio drama created, written, edited and performed by Eira Major under a Creative Commons 4.0 Noncommercial Attribution License. In network with Rusty Quill.Not Quite Dead is back, with spin-off series Snow Blood. Set years after the original story, Snow Blood follows Alfie and Neige as they attempt to start to build a better life for themselves and vampires everywhere. One problem; none of the other vampires want to help, and there is this guy who keeps calling, over and over, insisting Alfie comes to meet him... Snow Blood is crowdfunding on Kickstarter from 7th April to 8th May, 2026 and will air in October 2026. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hi everyone, it’s Eira again, letting you know that the Q&A for Not Quite Dead’s fourth season is officially open! You can submit your questions at hangingslothstudios.com/qna, that’s the letters ‘q’ for queen, ‘n’ for November and ‘a’ for alpha. The QnA inbox will be open for your questions until 3rd September, 2025. I’m so looking forward to hearing what you ask, and answering all the questions that I can. Until then, Live, Laugh, BITE. Not Quite Dead is back, with spin-off series Snow Blood. Set years after the original story, Snow Blood follows Alfie and Neige as they attempt to start to build a better life for themselves and vampires everywhere. One problem; none of the other vampires want to help, and there is this guy who keeps calling, over and over, insisting Alfie comes to meet him... Snow Blood is crowdfunding on Kickstarter from 7th April to 8th May, 2026 and will air in October 2026. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hey, it’s Eira! Today I’d like to introduce you to a fabulous show, the Holmwood Foundation. It’s a modern sequel to the classic Victorian gothic vampire novel, Dracula. The story follows co-workers Maddie and Jeremy who become possessed by the ghosts of Mina and Jonathan Harker. Beginning at the Holmwood Foundation, an organisation which has been studying Dracula’s remains for the last 130 years, our possessed protagonists end up on a road-trip which they hope will give the ghosts of the Harkers what they want; to get rid of Dracula once and for all. It’s a really stellar show which explores identity and self-discovery, family loyalty and devotion, and it has some lovely accompanying artwork. There is just one more episode of the show left to come, and it’ll be out on 19th of August, which means you have plenty of time to catch up on the first six episodes, but won’t have to wait long for the story to be completed. A transcript for the episode you're about to listen to is in the description below. You can find more of the show wherever you listen to podcasts, including where you're listening right now, by searching ‘The Holmwood Foundation’. It’s the show with the sketch of the dismembered head on the cover. That's 'H-O-L-M-W-O-O-D Foundation. The Holmwood Foundation! I hope you enjoy listening to this first episode of the show. Transcript: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1a5fwtRvEdNLC3iHp7ggk2CYQoBDfFOcLGkxWBHRU9RM/edit?tab=t.0Not Quite Dead is back, with spin-off series Snow Blood. Set years after the original story, Snow Blood follows Alfie and Neige as they attempt to start to build a better life for themselves and vampires everywhere. One problem; none of the other vampires want to help, and there is this guy who keeps calling, over and over, insisting Alfie comes to meet him... Snow Blood is crowdfunding on Kickstarter from 7th April to 8th May, 2026 and will air in October 2026. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.