Great Night #271: Unlicensed Dogs

Justin is hooked on C. Robert Cargill’s Midnight Radio. Penny, meanwhile, can’t watch the jetpack fight in Minority Report without laughing at the wires. Johnny Depp’s Ebenezer trailer gives Brian and Justin an idea for a Ghost of Christmas Future prequel, and by the end they’ve cast an all-canceled remake of I Spy for twenty bucks. The actors might even pay them.

Brian and Justin sneak in a Monday-morning Great Night before their election-night livestream with Jen Briney. They unpack midterm chaos and prediction markets, wonder when AI’s “getting to know you” prices will end, and confront the hacked-fridge apocalypse. Then Halloween takes over: Justin’s war on trunk-or-treat, Brian’s family chainsaw routine, and the least magical attraction imaginable—the haunted train horn factory.

A free preview of The Bones, Great Night’s bonus show. Brian and Justin turn Halloween candy into a serious peanut butter cup review, revisit Robin Williams and Disney, and fall down the rabbit hole of Tiny Desk memes and a KFC earworm. Then Brian meets an AI avatar speaking in his own voice—and asks it to turn a Far Side cartoon into a radio drama.

C. Robert Cargill joins Brian and Justin to talk Midnight Radio, his new horror podcast starring Ethan Hawke. A Kevin Smith Twitter feud takes an unlikely turn toward Sinister, while an innocent-looking vape sends Cargill on a virtual-reality ocean adventure. Plus: Norm Macdonald memories, Marvel versus DC, and a Nathan Fielder sighting that turns an ordinary flight into a search for hidden cameras.

Brian and Justin settle onto the couch for a supposedly low-energy show, and Justin vows not to be funny. Brian’s forgotten wedding RSVP sparks a full taxonomy of “eek,” “oof,” and “yikes,” before a Nathan Fielder documentary sends him chasing every podcast about it. Plus, another round of the Kelly Clarkson–Art of Play bird saga, memories of their Houdini séance, and a detour through The Simpsons.

Brian and Justin unpack Kelly Clarkson’s Art of Play saga: a $15,000 mechanical bird, a secret magic theater, and a PR response that sets off Brian’s “smuggy sense.” They react to Pablo Torre’s coverage, imagine a floppy-disk repair shop with a very different business model, and debate how internet arguments spiral. Plus, Texas campaign rumor chaos, Brian’s new scale, and a bonus detour into the keyboard preset behind Gorillaz’s “Clint Eastwood.”

Brian and Justin become the Chemicals, Brother, remember Dennis Haskins and Mr. Belding’s college-tour karaoke magic, and turn Patreon’s monthly billing into a Genesis story. Brian’s family bonds over hating Forgotten Island before Resident Evil wins him over, while Justin discovers that elaborate AI roasts may be a terrible way to make friends. Plus: secret audio-track messages, the worst possible group-chat review, and a plan to bring back Diamond Time.

Brian and Justin pitch a museum for ancient viral videos, unpack the reaction to their Flock camera experiment, and imagine a future where your robot keeps up with your friends. Brian calls Penny with a horrifying Battlestar Galactica robot-dog revelation, Australian cartwheel bans inspire a defense of dodgeball, and a trip to the mall ends with unlicensed dogs.

Scott Sigler returns with Beasts Beyond the River, and Brian and Justin immediately try to saddle him with Kentucky Vikings, a cursed Joker movie, and a Blazing Saddles remake. Scott recounts his Les Grossman turn at DragonCon, the boys debate where your less-than-five-star reviews should go, and a discussion of football jet lag gives way to supposedly fictional traffic stops involving David Blaine's levitation and a driver's license disappearing inside a car door.

Justin returns from DragonCon with a child who thinks Minnie Mouse’s catchphrase is screaming, a stranger who thinks he’s cosplaying as himself, and an $80 plate of shitty eggs. Brian discovers he can instinctively hold a baby, everyone gets reacquainted with the Marriott carpet lore, and the boys fall deeply and sincerely in love with Bethy Love Light and “Hemp Holy Hemp.” Plus: the slowest bar in America, post-show face blindness, Tom Kat’s impossible physique, and whether Street Fighter has secretly cracked the fighting-game movie. Get an extra episode every week only at https://www.patreon.com/greatnight!