How to Build a Queer Third Space from Scratch After Illness, Addiction and Burnout with Jeff Vicente and Jamie Lee

What if leadership is really about following? I sat down with my friend Kimberly Lai, coach, leadership facilitator, and Brazilian Zouk dancer whose infectious joy for the dance got me into dance classes for a whole year. In this episode, she shares how Zouk taught her to embody leadership in a new way, and how she landed the exact job and salary she wanted after everyone told her that it would be "impossible." What You'll LearnWhat partner dancing teaches you about trust, control, and leading people at workHow Kimberly got her dream job at her exact salary by getting crystal clear and telling everyoneWhy asking "How do I want to feel?" beats searching for the perfect scriptHow to move through fear by giving equal time to what could go rightHow your body holds intelligence the mind chatter misses, from felt sense and interoception to nonverbal connection, and how they connect to leadership presence Follow us: Kimberly Lai on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/kimberly-h-lai/Kimberly Lai (dancing) on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/kimberlaidancingJamie Lee on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/leejieunjamie/Jamie Lee on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/jamieleecoach/Text me your thoughts on this episode!Enjoy the show? Don't miss an episode, listen and subscribe via Apple Podcasts or Spotify.  Leave me a review in Apple Podcasts. Connect with meBook a free hour-long consultation with me. You'll leave with your custom blueprint to confidence, and we'll ensure it's a slam-dunk fit for you before you commit to working with me 1:1. Connect with me on LinkedIn Email me at [email protected] 

If you just stepped into a leadership role and your team keeps avoiding the one task that actually moves the needle, there's something simple and concrete you can do to start motivating people the right way. In this episode, I walk through the exact reframe I taught a sales manager client to get her team motivated without micromanaging, making ultimatums, or losing her own voice in the process.You'll walk away with the one sentence that turned dreaded work into shared ambition, and the mindset shift behind it you can use in your very next team meeting.What You'll Learn in This EpisodeWhy a system that wasn't built for you can make you feel like the problem, when you're over-performing yet under-earning How to reframe the work your team dreads so they run toward it instead of away from itWhy moving people toward a win beats moving them away from pain, and how to discern what precisely to say as a managerWhat happened in one coaching consultation that made my client say, "That just blew my mind. I'd never seen it that way!"How to book your free 1:1 consultation for executive coaching with me here: www.jamieleecoach.com/applyText me your thoughts on this episode!Enjoy the show? Don't miss an episode, listen and subscribe via Apple Podcasts or Spotify.  Leave me a review in Apple Podcasts. Connect with meBook a free hour-long consultation with me. You'll leave with your custom blueprint to confidence, and we'll ensure it's a slam-dunk fit for you before you commit to working with me 1:1. Connect with me on LinkedIn Email me at [email protected] 

In this episode, I sit down with my longtime friend and Iron Feather co-founder Jeff Vicente to explore how he built a hybrid salon, art gallery, and community “third space” in the heart of SoHo. From risky career pivots and “successful failures” to surviving cancer and addiction, Jeff shares how his resilience, queerness, and devotion to Madonna have shaped his leadership and vision. Together, we reflect on friendship, identity, and what it really takes to create spaces where unconventional, magical misfits can finally feel at home.Key takeaways: What it looks like to turn a non-linear career path—and even your lowest moments—into a uniquely powerful business and community.How building systems (not controlling people) helps leaders avoid burnout and create sustainable, values-driven organizations.Why queer third spaces and creative hubs like Iron Feather matter for belonging, resilience, and cultural change.Text me your thoughts on this episode!Enjoy the show? Don't miss an episode, listen and subscribe via Apple Podcasts or Spotify.  Leave me a review in Apple Podcasts. Connect with meBook a free hour-long consultation with me. You'll leave with your custom blueprint to confidence, and we'll ensure it's a slam-dunk fit for you before you commit to working with me 1:1. Connect with me on LinkedIn Email me at [email protected] 

In this episode of Risky Conversations, I sit down with Poornima Vijayashanker, founding engineer of Mint.com, former Apple engineering leader, and founder of Femgineer, to talk about why communication is the edge technical professionals can’t afford to ignore. We explore how her “planned exits” from both Mint and Apple shaped her philosophy on career agency, and how a painful startup shutdown taught her the value of accountability and honest, risky conversations. If you’ve ever wondered how to stay relevant in an AI-driven world while staying true to your values, this episode is for you.Takeaways:What you can do to reclaim agency in your tech career when layoffs, AI, and leadership decisions feel completely out of your control.How to identify, articulate, and communicate your unique expertise—especially when your product fails, sunsets, or gets shut down.Why communication is now a critical differentiator for technical professionals who want to thrive alongside AI, not be replaced by it.Connect with us: Femgineer website: https://femgineer.comConnect with Poorima on X: https://x.com/poornimaJamie Lee Coach website: https://www.jamieleecoach.comConnect with Jamie on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/leejieunjamie/Text me your thoughts on this episode!Enjoy the show? Don't miss an episode, listen and subscribe via Apple Podcasts or Spotify.  Leave me a review in Apple Podcasts. Connect with meBook a free hour-long consultation with me. You'll leave with your custom blueprint to confidence, and we'll ensure it's a slam-dunk fit for you before you commit to working with me 1:1. Connect with me on LinkedIn Email me at [email protected] 

In this episode of Risky Conversations, I reveal a subtle but costly pattern I see over and over again with my highest-achieving clients—something I call “the Coverage Trap.”You know that feeling: you work nights and weekends, you hold everything together when your teammates are out, you quietly make miracles happen…and your reward is, “Great, keep it up.” No promotion, no extra resources, no real recognition. Just more of the same.In this conversation, I break down why this happens, how it quietly sabotages your career growth, and what you can start doing differently right now—without complaining, over-explaining, or becoming someone you’re not.I’ll walk you through:The Tuesday status update scenario where you think you’re proving your readiness for a promotion, but you’re actually signaling “all good, nothing needs to change.”The hidden cost of believing “competence should speak for itself” as a woman, minority, or marginalized leader.Why the real gap between you and your next promotion is not working harder—it’s translation: turning the value you’re already delivering into language decision makers can act on.What you can expect on Friday, September 18th: The Over-functioning Woman's Negotiation Workshop, which you can register to attend for free here: https://us02web.zoom.us/meeting/register/338KqIokT9qGadSyouHnfw#/registrationIn this episode, you’ll learn how to:Recognize the “coverage trap” and the subtle ways over-functioning keeps you stuck at the status quoShift from quiet competence to clear articulation of your impact, future vision, and specific asksUse leadership-focused language that aligns your work with where the organization is headed—and makes it easier for decision makers to say “yes” to your promotion and raiseIf you’ve ever watched a less competent but more outspoken colleague get the promotion you wanted, this episode is for you. Let’s stop unintentionally sabotaging your own growth by being “too good” at quietly covering—and start translating your value into the recognition, support, and advancement you’ve already earned.Text me your thoughts on this episode!Enjoy the show? Don't miss an episode, listen and subscribe via Apple Podcasts or Spotify.  Leave me a review in Apple Podcasts. Connect with meBook a free hour-long consultation with me. You'll leave with your custom blueprint to confidence, and we'll ensure it's a slam-dunk fit for you before you commit to working with me 1:1. Connect with me on LinkedIn Email me at [email protected] 

In this episode, I sit down with my friend Alexis Morin, founder and principal of Soul Work Coaching, for a deep, tender, and surprisingly practical conversation about money, justice, spirituality, and leadership.Alexis co-founded and led a national nonprofit, Students for Education Reform, through her 20s, earned a Master of Divinity from Union Theological Seminary, won the Interreligious Engagement Prize for her thesis on “spiritual but not religious” folks, and has been named to the Forbes 30 Under 30 list twice. Today, she blends executive coaching, spiritual care, interreligious theology, and community organizing to support nonprofit leaders and people in career transition who feel called to do work that actually aligns with their values.We talk about:What it’s really like to grow a student group into a national nonprofit — and how idealism collides with the brutal realities of inequality and philanthropyThe moment a Buddhist coach lobbed a “good grenade” into Alexis’s worldview by asking: “What would it feel like if you really believed the universe was benevolent?”Why capitalism functions like the dominant religion of our time, and how that shapes our sense of worth, success, and safetyHow fundraising can be a spiritual practice and civic act, not just “begging rich people for money”Why grassroots fundraising and small gifts can build more real power than a handful of billionaire checksHow Alexis now helps nonprofit leaders and changemakers do “soul work”: interrogating their ideas about justice, money, and calling so they can make aligned decisions about leadership, transitions, and careerI also share some of my own story — from being a first-gen, lower-middle-class student navigating elite spaces, to getting seriously ill and having to confront what I am without my income or productivity. We connect this to the paradox that often, letting go of our tight grip on money and status is what finally frees us to ask for more, lead more boldly, and show up more fully.If you’ve ever wrestled with questions like:How do I fundraise or get paid well without betraying my values?How do I hold onto hope and agency in a world that feels increasingly unequal and unjust?Can spirituality and ambition actually coexist?…this conversation is for you.Learn more about Alexis and her work:Website: AlexisMorin.meInstagram: @alexisrmorin (personal and business all-in-one, delightfully unhinged at times, in the best way)Text me your thoughts on this episode!Enjoy the show? Don't miss an episode, listen and subscribe via Apple Podcasts or Spotify.  Leave me a review in Apple Podcasts. Connect with meBook a free hour-long consultation with me. You'll leave with your custom blueprint to confidence, and we'll ensure it's a slam-dunk fit for you before you commit to working with me 1:1. Connect with me on LinkedIn Email me at [email protected] 

Ever feel stuck or trapped in your work or life?My guest Irina F. Cozma, PhD is an organizational psychologist and executive coach who has repeatedly generated bold options for herself in moments when most people would have resigned with a defeated “it is what it is.”In this conversation, we talk about surviving a micromanaging boss, why that experience became one of the biggest gifts of Irina’s career, and how her journey across four different countries shaped her belief that you always have at least one more option available to you — especially when you feel stuck.We also get honest about the messy, embodied side of being human: physical pain, hormones, fatigue, and those days when you just want to feel sorry for yourself (I have plenty of those myself). Irina shares how possibility thinking still applies on those days—without pretending everything is fine.What you'll learn:Why surviving a micromanaging boss changed how Irina coaches: she now validates how bad it can really be, stops over‑indexing on “you can always fix it,” and helps clients build parallel options instead of staying stuck trying to change someone who doesn’t want to change.How possibility thinking works in practice:understanding all your options (including the ones you don’t like), choosing consciously, and then making peace with—and committing to—your choice so you don’t feel like you’re in a psychological jail.How your values and strengths become anchors on hard days: Irina shows how clarity on core values like freedom and fairness, and strengths like persistenceand speed, lets you take action even when you’re in pain, exhausted, or full of self‑doubt.Irina’s “possibility thinker” framework: inner, relational, and process possibilities—practical tools that help you expand what you see as possible so you never again feel like you’re truly starting from zero.How Irina’s international moves (Romania → Spain → Moldova → U.S.) shaped her worldview: why she now sees “country” as just one small variable, and how clarity about what you want can make even “risky” moves feel obvious rather than terrifying.Featured in this episode: Irina's Possibility Thinkers Assessment: https://irinacozma.com/assessmentConnect with Irina on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/irinacozma/Jamie's 1:1 coaching for smart women who hate office politics: https://www.jamieleecoach.com/applyConnect with Jamie on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/leejieunjamie/Text me your thoughts on this episode!Enjoy the show? Don't miss an episode, listen and subscribe via Apple Podcasts or Spotify.  Leave me a review in Apple Podcasts. Connect with meBook a free hour-long consultation with me. You'll leave with your custom blueprint to confidence, and we'll ensure it's a slam-dunk fit for you before you commit to working with me 1:1. Connect with me on LinkedIn Email me at [email protected] 

In this episode, I talk with business coach and servant leadership educator Debbie Heiser about why risky conversations are often the doorway to our greatest freedom, fulfillment, and financial growth. We explore how subconscious “loyalty pacts,” double binds, and competence-as-survival strategies keep high-achieving women over-functioning, under-receiving, and burning out. Debbie also shares how she helps clients work with their nervous systems, embrace play over hustle, and step into an aligned “lit up life” where clarity truly becomes currency.What you'll learn: How risky conversations can lead to deeper, more meaningful relationships, personal freedom, and major professional turning points (e.g., Debbie telling her boss/friend she could no longer afford to stay as CFO, which catalyzed her full‑time coaching business and significant revenue growth).Why subconscious beliefs and “loyalty pacts” matter: Debbie explained concepts like double binds (conflicting desires such as security vs entrepreneurship) and loyalty pacts (feeling disloyal if you “prove someone wrong”), and how early family stories and cultural conditioning shape subconscious beliefs about worth, safety, and what’s possible—often limiting women and people socialized as women.How competence can become a survival strategy (and a trap): We discussed how many high-achieving women over-rely on competence—constant certifications, over-preparation, over-functioning—as a way to feel safe, which masks deeper issues of self-worth and receiving (including receiving money) and keeps them stuck in burnout rather than aligned, confident leadership.How Debbie coaches clients to work with their nervous system and beliefs: Debbie uses tools like nature walks, perspective-taking frameworks (inspired by indigenous medicine wheel concepts), deep exploration of family-of-origin stories, and gratitude practices to help clients slow down, surface subconscious narratives, and then unwind and rewrite those beliefs.Why play and presence are essential antidotes to hustle and burnout: We contrasted “hustle” (pressure, urgency, victim-y to-do lists) with an approach where play, fun, and presence are central. Debbie argued that work is never “done,” especially for entrepreneurs, so tying play to “after the work” guarantees burnout; instead, integrating joy and play into life and business actually attracts more clients, money, and sustainable success.Featured: Join Debbie's free monthly masterclass called The Embodied CEO: https://thelituplife.com/attractionBook a free 1:1 consultation for executive coaching with Jamie Lee: https://www.jamieleecoach.com/applyText me your thoughts on this episode!Enjoy the show? Don't miss an episode, listen and subscribe via Apple Podcasts or Spotify.  Leave me a review in Apple Podcasts. Connect with meBook a free hour-long consultation with me. You'll leave with your custom blueprint to confidence, and we'll ensure it's a slam-dunk fit for you before you commit to working with me 1:1. Connect with me on LinkedIn Email me at [email protected] 

Gracefully Assertive -- I first heard this from my peer coach Sade Curry, an expert relationship coach, and I immediately thought, This is so good! I need to share it with every one of my clients.On Thursday, August 20th, Sade and I went live on a podcast-style conversation where we unpack Gracefully Assertive for women who've been told they're too much (both of us have!) and share real case studies of women who gracefully asserted their needs -- in the boardroom or in the bedroom. Watch the replay on YouTube here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Eun63CwmgOYIn this episode, I share my definition of Gracefully Assertive. Because it's neither a script nor a gender tax you have to pay for having a need and a voice, but a particular way you relate to yourself first and to others second. I unpack why that makes it a powerful way to walk into a risky conversation and state what you need, cleanly and simply.Featured in this episode: Watch the replay of live event recorded on Thursday, August 20th: Gracefully Assertive for Women Who've Been Told They're Too Much: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Eun63CwmgOYSelf-Advocacy is an Act of Service (Podcast): https://podcast.jamieleecoach.com/2033808/episodes/11189143-self-advocacy-is-an-act-of-serviceHow to Get Promoted and Better Paid with a Compelling Ask (Podcast): https://podcast.jamieleecoach.com/2033808/episodes/12320542-how-to-get-promoted-and-better-paid-with-a-compelling-ask Learn more about 1:1 executive coaching with Jamie (Philosophy, Process, Pricing): https://www.jamieleecoach.com/applyText me your thoughts on this episode!Enjoy the show? Don't miss an episode, listen and subscribe via Apple Podcasts or Spotify.  Leave me a review in Apple Podcasts. Connect with meBook a free hour-long consultation with me. You'll leave with your custom blueprint to confidence, and we'll ensure it's a slam-dunk fit for you before you commit to working with me 1:1. Connect with me on LinkedIn Email me at [email protected] 

Know what it’s like to feel like you don’t fit into any box? And silently suffer while second-guessing yourself in a workplace where you're one of the extreme few?  Yep, me too. In this episode, I’m talking with psychotherapist Steve Alexander, Jr., a first-gen, Black, sensitive human who left a “safe” corporate job in risk management to become a healer for folks who, like me, feel too complex, too emotional, or too different for the spaces they’re in. We unpack what happens when you’ve tied your identity and self-worth to a job that was never designed with you in mind, and how to reclaim a sense of self that isn’t dependent on a title, paycheck, or corporate hierarchy. We also talk about the very real gap between how walking into spaces feel for the “male and pale” default versus those of us who are marginalized, and why naming that difference is a powerful first step toward healing, agency, and change.What You'll Learn: What it's like to leave a “safe” corporate job when you’re first-gen and carrying family expectations about money, success, and stability.How tying your identity and self-worth to your job—especially in environments not built for you—can fuel depression, burnout, and feeling “not enough.”Why postpartum mental health matters for both mom and dad, and how anger, anxiety, and loss of autonomy can show up differently from the stereotypical picture of depression.How being Black, first-gen, and highly sensitive in predominantly white, male spaces shapes the way you see yourself, your power, and what feels “allowed” for you.What becomes possible when you stop trying to fit into any one box and start building a life, career, and identity that actually reflect your full, complex self.What Steve’s group practice, New York Wellness Counseling Services, offers first-gen, third-culture, and “don’t-fit-in-a-box” clients—through trauma-informed therapy (including EMDR) for people navigating multiple identities in New York and New Jersey.How Jamie’s work as an executive coach for professional women and entrepreneurs helps clients make more money, build confidence, and negotiate for the roles and recognition they wantFeaturedLearn more about Steve Alexander's NY Wellness Counseling Services, a virtual group therapy practice serving clients across New York and New Jersey: https://www.nywellness.com⁠Connect with Steve on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/stevealexanderjr/⁠Follow Steve on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thenywellnessLearn more about Jamie's 1:1 coaching practice: https://www.jamieleecoach.com/about Connect with Jamie on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/leejieunjamie/Follow Jamie on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/jamieleecoach/Text me your thoughts on this episode!Enjoy the show? Don't miss an episode, listen and subscribe via Apple Podcasts or Spotify.  Leave me a review in Apple Podcasts. Connect with meBook a free hour-long consultation with me. You'll leave with your custom blueprint to confidence, and we'll ensure it's a slam-dunk fit for you before you commit to working with me 1:1. Connect with me on LinkedIn Email me at [email protected]