I Don't Eat Vegetables

SEASON 1 FINALE!In our Season 1 Finale, we explore a porno scenario that does not meet expectations, a friend-to-friend confession, and a disturbing family funeral.Mutter 1: Jeff Hiller + Lauren LapkusMutter 2: Craig Cackowski + Ben RodgersMutter 3: Paul Scheer + Rob HuebelWant to submit your own First Two Lines?Email: [email protected] orDM on Insta: @mutterflythepodLeave a message with your FTL, and you might hear it on a future Mutterfly!Like, subscribe, and leave a review to help make more Mutters!

In this episode, we explore the complicated relationships of two best friends, two lovers, and three weird-ass neighbors.Mutter 1: Benjamin Apple + James DwyerMutter 2: Johnny McNulty + Katie MarovitchMutter 3: Billy Merritt + Shannon O'NeillWant to submit your own First Two Lines?Email: [email protected] orDM on Insta: @mutterflythepodLeave a message with your FTL, and you might hear it on a future Mutterfly!Like, subscribe, and leave a review to help make more Mutters!

In this episode, we explore the absolute worst "friend," a prankster grandma, and an old zombie mummy who can't eat or drink.Mutter 1: Tao Yang + Jake CornellMutter 2: Greg Tuculescu + Hillary Anne MatthewsMutter 3: Sarah Claspell + Beth AppelWant to submit your own First Two Lines?Email: [email protected] orDM on Insta: @mutterflythepodLeave a message with your FTL, and you might hear it on a future Mutterfly!Like, subscribe, and leave a review to help make more Mutters!

In this episode, we explore the aftermath of an overly aggressive pitch meeting, an awkward fraternity rush, and three guys with strange habits waiting at a bus stop.Mutter 1: Ben Rodgers + Craig CackowskiMutter 2: Marshall Stratton + James CokerMutter 3: Benjamin Apple + James DwyerWant to submit your own First Two Lines?Email: [email protected] orDM on Insta: @mutterflythepodLeave a message with your FTL, and you might hear it on a future Mutterfly!Like, subscribe, and leave a review to help make more Mutters!

In this episode, we encounter some mixed and confusing innuendo, three men named Cliff, and a mother with a pet octopus.Mutter 1: Jerah Milligan + Lily DuMutter 2: Katie Marovitch + Johnny McNultyMutter 3: Laura Willcox + Lauren AdamsWant to submit your own First Two Lines?Email: [email protected] orDM on Insta: @mutterflythepodLeave a message with your FTL, and you might hear it on a future Mutterfly!Like, subscribe, and leave a review to help make more Mutters!

In this episode, we explore a delusional couple trying to sell a no-bathroom house with four kitchens, the idea of a hearing-ear dog, and degenerate gambling spouses willing to let their daughter tank her performance.Mutter 1: Glenn Boozan + Andrew Ford Mutter 2: Justin Tyler + Alden Ford Mutter 3: Craig Rowin + Cathryn MudonWant to submit your own First Two Lines?Email: [email protected] orDM on Insta: @mutterflythepodLeave a message with your FTL, and you might hear it on a future Mutterfly!Like, subscribe, and leave a review to help make more Mutters!

In this episode, we meet the most positive bride-to-be in the world, a manager trying on dresses during her smoke break, and a chemist who splices clothes together to ill-fated results.Mutter 1: Patrick Noth + Morgan Evans Mutter 2: Monique Moses + Alex FernieMutter 3: Beth Appel + Sarah ClaspellWant to submit your own First Two Lines?Email: [email protected] orDM on Insta: @mutterflythepodLeave a message with your FTL, and you might hear it on a future Mutterfly!Like, subscribe, and leave a review to help make more Mutters!

In this episode, we explore a relationship on the rocks, mistaken fetishes, a failed attempt at a catchphrase, and a very trustworthy co-worker. Mutter 1: Lauren Lapkus + Jeff HillerMutter 2: Mike Antonucci + Daniel SpenserMutter 3: Achilles Stamatelaky + Carl TartWant to submit your own First Two Lines?Email: [email protected] orDM on Insta: @mutterflythepodLeave a message with your FTL, and you might hear it on a future Mutterfly!Like, subscribe, and leave a review to help make more Mutters!

In this episode, we explore an awkward breakup involving a roommate and a volleyball team, the financial and familial fallout of becoming a professional lifeguard, and a candid date in a very long hallway.Mutter 1: Jake Cornell + Tao Yang Mutter 2: James Coker + Marshall Stratton Mutter 3: Jen Bartels + George Kareman This episodes First Two Lines were submitted by Becca Boerman!Want to submit your own First Two Lines?Email: [email protected] orDM on Insta: @mutterflythepodLeave a message with your FTL, and you might hear it on a future Mutterfly!Like, subscribe, and leave a review to help make more Mutters!

In this episode, we explore a secret that delays eight dudes from going camping in a VW Van, two offended hikers, and celebrities based on the fathers of two friends. Featuring... kind of, sort of Captain Hippo: Daniel Spenser + Mike Antonucci Andrew Ford + Glenn Boozan Michael Hartney + Connor RatliffWant to submit your own First Two Lines? Email: [email protected] or DM on Insta: @mutterflythepodLeave a message with your FTL, and you might hear it on a future Mutterfly! Like, subscribe, and leave a review to help make more Mutters!