ALIEN ARSENAL (1999) | Charles Band Loves Teens

Shot on Video September starts here — but not with a horror movie?! In 1998, Kathryn Hudson wrote, directed, scored and starred in her own vanity project as an alien monarch from the planet Neberon: crash-landed on Earth at nine, raised by Himalayan mystics, running a Santa Monica dance studio, and defending the beach from a businessman who turns swimmers green and sells them the antidote for a million dollars. Then she never dropped the act. Twenty-eight years later she's still Queen Kathryn — ambassador of world peace, self-published recording artist, and an extremely active poster. We get into the movie, the woman, and the thirty years she's spent as the character: Vista Street, David Sterling, Jeff Leroy's miniatures, Supreme Master Ching Hai, the Loving Hut, urine therapy, gold hot pants, and a merch line with its own perfume. Plus Battle of the Bands: Celestial Edition, and what we've been watching. Watch the movie here Cory's Youtube Channel! Klon's infrequent but awesome show LateList Join our Patreon if you can! Hey, why not call us on our hotline? (724) 246-4669!

Sensitive Boy Sex Comedy Summer goes out with a failing stripper school, a hog farmer, a morality crusader named Dr. Percy Honeywell, and the least appetizing-looking pizzas ever caught on film. Buck Flower's Pop Tate wins a bankrupt pizza-delivery business in a card game. The catch: it sells only pineapple pizza, has basically no customers, and the van isn't even paid off. His solution is to put the stripper-school dancers to work delivering the pizzas. The pizza remains terrible, but after one accidental topless delivery, Pop and Elliot — the school's flamboyant proprietor — finally figure out what people are actually willing to pay for. We also try to reconstruct director Ed Hansen, a director with almost no public record at all — no interviews, barely any photographs, and one commentary track where Jim Wynorski mostly talks about Jim Wynorski. What's left is a strange trail from The Bullwinkle Show to advertising, documentaries, exercise tapes and a decade of cheap sex comedies built around failing businesses saved by women taking their clothes off. And every Friday, apparently, lunch at Musso & Frank. The movie itself gives us Buck Flower in a lead role, prank stripper-grams, a cop courtship on playground equipment, a guy who just wants a rubber duck, Honeywell running surveillance from inside a garbage can while wearing a beer helmet with a teddy bear head on it, and John F. Goff's Elliot dressed like Colonel Sanders on an inflatable alligator. Plus Battle of the Bands goes three rounds deep — Rodd Keith vs. Norm Burns, Exotic Adrian Street vs. Big Daddy, and disco Frank Sinatra vs. a children's version of "Disco Inferno" — along with Jonathan Winters being left unsupervised on a children's show to talk about bathtime. Join our Patreon if you can! Cory's Youtube Channel! Hey, why not call us on our hotline? (724) 246-4669!

Continuing with our Sensitive Boy Summer, the gang dives into one of the sleaziest, stupidest, and most shameless sex comedies of the 1980s, The Party Animal (1984), the infamous tale of eternal virgin Pondo Sinatra and his spectacularly misguided quest to become the world's greatest ladies' man. Along the way, we uncover the film's bizarre production history, the unbelievable reshoots, and ask whether this forgotten cult oddity is merely offensive, fascinating... or both? PLUS: Battle of the Bands, Spencer proves once again that he's a moron, Heather somehow decides sharing a microphone with him is a good idea, and so much more! Cory's Youtube Channel! Join our Patreon if you can! Hey, why not call us on our hotline? (724) 246-4669!

It's Sensitive Boy Summer at Movie Melt, so we're diving into the raunchy Canadian vanity project Fireballs (1989)! The sensitive special boys break down this gloriously bizarre comedy, crown another Battle of the Bands champion, and welcome special guest adam.cherry.comics! Buy Adam's Comic Book on Kickstarter Cory's Youtube Channel! Klon's infrequent but awesome show LateList Join our Patreon if you can! Hey, why not call us on our hotline? (724) 246-4669!

The Sensitive Boys™ head to the beaches of Ibiza with Summer Night Fever (1978), the West German sex comedy from director Sigi Rothemund. Riding the disco wave kicked off by Saturday Night Fever, this sun-soaked exploitation romp follows two friends on a vacation overflowing with girls, discos, bikinis, bell-bottoms, and a debatably awesome soundtrack. PLUS: Battle of the Bands returns! C-bear's Youtube C-bear on Strange Tapes Show Lee's Podcast TMBDOS Join our Patreon if you can! Hey, why not call us on our hotline? (724) 246-4669!

Your sensitive boys are back! Listen as we pack into a grimy little Beach House and spend 76 sweaty minutes obsessing over one of the most forgotten sex comedies of the early 80s. From Jersey boardwalk hangouts and chaotic house parties to doo‑wop punks, softball grudges, and one especially questionable horndog named Marty, this hangout movie somehow dodges the usual sleaze and lands as a genuinely sweet, punk‑rock time capsule. Along the way, the crew digs into the tangled history behind the film: New Line’s involvement, surreal mob‑adjacent production stories, how Adam Roth’s songs and band end up stealing the movie, and the wild six‑degrees connections from this tiny beach flick to Dennis Leary, Madonna soundtracks, Evil Dead, and beyond. They also talk about why the movie’s been so overlooked, what certain critics miss about it, and why Beach House deserves a spot in the summer‑party‑movie rotation. PLUS: a truly cursed “would you rather” about spider‑rotted pinkies versus flying table‑saw thumbs, and a brand‑new Battle of the Bands segment featuring cult Aussie weirdo‑rapper Siggy Retz, comedy‑rap hurricane Auntie Hammy, and a Plastic Bertrand vs Elton Motello showdown over the greatest stolen backing track in punk history. Subscibe to our Youtube Join our Patreon if you can! Hey, why not call us on our hotline? (724) 246-4669!

ALIEN ARSENAL (1999) | Charles Band Loves Teens This week we’re covering Charles Band’s attempt at kid-friendly sci-fi — the Moonbeam years — then following the trail into Pulsepounders and its teen-skewing sub-label ActionXtreme, and eventually land on David DeCoteau’s ALIEN ARSENAL. Join our Patreon if you can! Hey, why not call us on our hotline? (724) 246-4669!

The litigious duo is back! More lovely vanity-project-insanity from Craig Bruss and Vineeta Prasad! These two lovebirds are the heart and brains behind our favorite modern action saga, and the happy couple deliver the goods with their third installment of this very personal action film—complete with their very own real-life wedding! It’s a perfect union of nunchucks, romance, and weird times! PLUS: CDR returns!, Battle of the Bands, what we’ve been watching and so much moreeeee! WATCH! us stream recordings on youtube! JOIN! our Patreon piss cult! CALL! our horny hotline (724) 246-4669!

It's spring break. We're skipping the belly-flop contest and going artifact hunting — which is exactly what the cast of Camp Fear (1991) thought they were doing before the earthquakes, bikers, and George Buck Flower showed up. Betsy Russell stars in what was intended to be a Cheerleader Camp Sequel, but as will be explained, things went whacky in all the right ways to make a very very interesting film. Plus, we crack the case about the mysterious one-credit director! Also on this episode: Waffle House Records Battle of the Bands, important news, and so much moreeeeee Camp Fear (1991) / Mystic Mountain — dir. Thom Keith, distributed by Fred Olen Ray's Retromedia WATCH! us stream recordings on youtube! JOIN! our Patreon piss cult! CALL! our horny hotline (724) 246-4669!

News reports warn of missing children as a mysterious young man named Sylvio appears wherever kids are in danger. Nobody seems especially alarmed except Sylvio, a quiet drifter with frosted tips and unclear motives who spends his time watching over local playgrounds. At home, Sylvio lives with his elderly father in a tiny blue room with a clown door, where memories are hazy and answers are scarce. Spray paint, cryptic conversations, and strange encounters hint at a hidden purpose behind Sylvio’s obsession with protecting children. Is BLACK COUGAR a superhero movie, outsider art experiment, or something else entirely? We break down Sylvio DiSalvatore’s obscure DIY oddity scene by scene. PLUS: Battle of the Bands What We’ve Been Watching Listener feedback Subscribe for weekly deep dives into cult films, regional oddities, and Psychotronic delights! BlackCougar #CultFilm #ObscureCinema #DIYFilm #Superhero #MovieMelt #VHS #Psychotronic #vanityproject Join our Patreon if you can! Hey, why not call us on our hotline? (724) 246-4669!