Ep. 228 - Stop Chasing Your Husband

When one spouse says, “Do you want me to help you do the laundry?,” it may sound thoughtful, but could it actually be creating resentment? In this episode of Monarch for Love, Michelle Hays explores the invisible mental load, the difference between helping and taking ownership, and why even well-intentioned couples can end up feeling overwhelmed, criticized, and unappreciated. Discover how shifting from blame to understanding can transform household responsibilities into genuine partnership. Because marriage isn't about keeping score. It's about being on the same team. Love Literacy™: The relationship skills the world forgot to teach us. Ready to explore what's possible in your marriage? Learn about private marriage coaching with Michelle at monarchforlove.com🔗 Website: www.monarchforlove.com 📘 Book: www.awakenedheartsbook.com Instagram: @Monarchforlove TikTok @monarchforloveSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Does your spouse owe you sex? It's a question many couples avoid, but the answer opens the door to a much deeper conversation about intimacy, rejection, and connection. In this episode of Monarch for Love, Michelle Hays challenges the idea that intimacy is either an obligation or an individual concern. Discover how assumptions, differences in desire, and unmet emotional needs can quietly create distance, and how curiosity, communication, and Love Literacy™ can help couples reconnect. Because intimacy thrives through willingness, not obligation. Love Literacy™: The relationship skills the world forgot to teach us. Ready to explore what's possible in your marriage? Learn about private marriage coaching with Michelle at monarchforlove.com🔗 Website: www.monarchforlove.com 📘 Book: www.awakenedheartsbook.com Instagram: @Monarchforlove TikTok @monarchforloveSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

In this episode of Monarch for Love, Michelle Hays explores why good people who genuinely love each other can still find themselves in painful relationship patterns—and how to recognize the difference between a marriage that's missing essential relationship skills and one facing deeper problems. Discover how emotional awareness, curiosity, communication, and recognizing your own role in recurring conflicts can open the door to possibilities you may not have considered.This isn't about staying in a marriage at any cost. It's about understanding what's actually wrong, what can change, and whether there's still a willingness to grow together. Don't confuse a lack of relationship skills with a lack of love. Love Literacy™: The relationship skills the world forgot to teach us. Ready to explore what's possible in your marriage? Learn about private marriage coaching with Michelle at monarchforlove.com🔗 Website: www.monarchforlove.com 📘 Book: www.awakenedheartsbook.com Instagram: @Monarchforlove TikTok @monarchforloveSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

In this episode of Monarch for Love, Michelle Hays challenges conventional marriage advice and explains why communication isn't just one skill. It's a collection of skills most of us were never taught. Discover how emotional regulation, curiosity, self-awareness, and learning to express your needs can transform the way you and your husband navigate conflict. You'll also learn one simple communication shift you can start using today to replace criticism with connection. Because loving someone and knowing how to love them well are two very different things. Maybe your marriage doesn't need more communication. Maybe you both need skills nobody ever taught you. Love Literacy™: The relationship skills the world forgot to teach us. Ready to stop repeating the same arguments and start reconnecting? Explore private marriage coaching with Michelle at monarchforlove.com🔗 Website: www.monarchforlove.com 📘 Book: www.awakenedheartsbook.com Instagram: @Monarchforlove TikTok @monarchforloveSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

In this week's episode of Monarch for Love, Michelle Hays introduces her signature 3D Emotional Reset™, a simple, powerful tool to help you break destructive communication patterns, manage emotional reactions, and respond to your husband without abandoning your own needs.Discover how to identify what's really underneath your anger, create space between your feelings and your reactions, and communicate in ways that build connection instead of resentment. Because you can't always control what you feel, but you can learn to choose what you do with those feelings.Your emotions deserve to be heard. They don't always deserve the steering wheel. Learn the three steps that can change the direction of your next argument—and potentially your marriage. Love Literacy™: The relationship skills the world forgot to teach us. Ready to break the patterns keeping you disconnected? Explore private marriage coaching with Michelle at monarchforlove.com Website: www.monarchforlove.com  Book: www.awakenedheartsbook.com Instagram: @Monarchforlove TikTok @monarchforloveSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

In this episode of Monarch for Love, Michelle Hays introduces The Perception Gap™: the space between what actually happened and the meaning we attach to it. Discover how assumptions can turn everyday misunderstandings into resentment, why years together don't equal mind reading, and how replacing certainty with curiosity can transform the way you communicate with your husband.Michelle shares three powerful questions to help you interrupt negative thought patterns, challenge your assumptions, and create more understanding and connection in your marriage. Because sometimes, the biggest obstacle to connection isn't what your husband did. It's the story you've told yourself about why he did it. Love Literacy™: The relationship skills the world forgot to teach us.Ready to reconnect with your husband? Explore private marriage coaching with Michelle at monarchforlove.com. Website: www.monarchforlove.com  Book: www.awakenedheartsbook.com Instagram: @Monarchforlove TikTok @monarchforloveSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

In this episode of Monarch for Love, Michelle Hays explores the painful disconnect that happens when love is present but goes unrecognized. Discover how assumptions, unmet expectations, and the stories we tell ourselves can create emotional distance—even in marriages where two people genuinely love each other. You’ll learn how to recognize the love that may have become invisible, get curious about what you’re really feeling, and communicate your needs without turning disappointment into disconnection.Because feeling unloved and being unloved are not the same thing. Before you decide the love is gone, what if you learned to see it differently?Love Literacy™: The relationship skills the world forgot to teach us. Learn more about Michelle and her private marriage coaching at monarchforlove.com. Website: www.monarchforlove.com  Book: www.awakenedheartsbook.com Instagram: @Monarchforlove TikTok @monarchforloveSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

In this week's episode, Michelle challenges the belief that strong relationships are built on sameness. You’ll learn why differences in communication, emotions, and personality do not automatically mean you chose the wrong person—and why understanding matters more than thinking alike. Compatibility may make love feel easier at first. But curiosity, emotional regulation, repair, and respect are what help love last when life gets hard.🔗 Website: www.monarchforlove.com 📘 Book: www.awakenedheartsbook.com Instagram: @Monarchforlove TikTok @monarchforloveSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

In this week's episode of the Monarch for Love Podcast, Michelle explains the difference between reaching for connection and creating pressure. You’ll learn how anxiety can turn a healthy need into a demand, why the pursue-withdraw cycle keeps couples stuck, and how to express what you need without pushing your partner further away.The answer isn’t to stop caring. It’s to reach for connection in a way that invites your husband closer.🔗 Website: www.monarchforlove.com 📘 Book: www.awakenedheartsbook.com Instagram: @Monarchforlove TikTok @monarchforloveSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Can two people deeply love each other and still struggle to stay connected? Absolutely. In this week's episode, Michelle challenges one of the most common beliefs about relationships: that love should be enough.Love may bring two people together, but love alone does not teach us how to regulate our emotions, communicate when we are hurt, repair after conflict, challenge our assumptions, or create emotional safety. Michelle shares what she learned from the end of her first marriage, the struggles in her marriage to Brian, and the realization that changed the way she understands relationships: sometimes the problem is not a lack of love. It is a lack of the skills that love requires. You’ll discover why good intentions do not always create connection, how missing relationship skills can make loving couples hurt each other, and why you should never confuse a skill gap with a love gap. Because people may marry for love—but many divorce for lack of skill. And the hopeful truth is that skills can be learned.🔗 Website: www.monarchforlove.com 📘 Book: www.awakenedheartsbook.com Instagram: @Monarchforlove TikTok @monarchforloveSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.