Epsiode 165: Walking Our Kids Through Grief with Sissy Goff

I'm just going to admit it upfront: I'm struggling with the whole screen-time situation at our house. I've raised two older kids through the technology years, and you would think I'd have this figured out by now. But here I am with my youngest, fighting the same battles and occasionally convincing myself that YouTube Kids is perfectly fine because, well, it has kids in the title. 😂Today I'm welcoming back Arlene Pellicane (who is basically my MESSmerized co-host at this point!) for a conversation I desperately needed. We're talking about what technology is doing to our kids, how screens are stealing some of the best parts of childhood, and why it's worth fighting the good fight even when setting boundaries feels exhausting. Arlene shares some really practical ways to rethink technology in our homes, and I especially loved her reminder that it's never too late to make changes.One of the things that struck me most is that my older kids, who grew up with phones and social media, are now the ones telling me to put stricter limits on their little brother. And maybe that's the reminder I needed: the boundaries our kids fight us on today might be the very ones they thank us for tomorrow. So if you're tired of battling screens, I'm right there with you. But this conversation reminded me why the battle is worth fighting.I'm so glad you're here! Oh, and here's some great news: Arlene's newest book, The Great Tech Reset, is available FREE while supplies last at techresetbook.com. It's an actual paperback book they'll mail to you, so grab a copy while you can!All things CynthiaThe Great Tech Reset by Arlene Pellicane Free Tech Reset Book Copy by Arlene PellicaneAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

I'm starting to think Sissy Goff needs to quit accepting my podcast invitations for the sake of her dogs. 😂 Last time we recorded, her beloved Lucy had just passed away. This time, her new puppy, Patches, had to have surgery on both back legs. I'm not saying there's a connection, but I'm also not saying there isn't.Thankfully, Sissy keeps coming back because she's one of my favorite people and one of the wisest voices out there when it comes to raising our kids. Today we're talking about something none of us particularly want to think about, but all of us will face in some form: walking our kids through grief, loss, and the really hard parts of life.Sissy's new book, Helping Kids Through Grief, was inspired in part by the heartbreaking Covenant School shooting in Nashville, where she and the Daystar team walked alongside grieving families. We talk about why kids can be devastated one minute and running to a friend’s house the next, why grief sometimes looks like anger, and how to know when it's time to bring in a counselor. And thankfully, Sissy reminds us we don't need a counseling degree or perfectly rehearsed speech to help our kids through hard things.And because we can't stay serious forever, we end with some behind-the-scenes scoop from Sissy's appearances on the Today show. Apparently, even experts in childhood anxiety get nervous on national television. 😂You're going to love this one!Helping kids Through Grief by Sissy GoffAll things Cynthia Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Have you ever wanted to pray but couldn't find the words? Or wondered if reading someone else's prayer is somehow cheating? I mean, aren't we supposed to come up with our own prayers? I've definitely wrestled with that one. 😂Today I'm talking with Doug McKelvey, author of the beautiful Every Moment Holy books, and this was a conversation I didn't realize how much I needed. We talk about finding God in the ordinary moments of life, why written prayers can be so meaningful, and his newest book, Every Moment Holy: Rites of Passage, which every parent of a teenager or young adult needs to know about.But one of the most meaningful parts of our conversation was Doug sharing his experience during a season when he was doing exactly what he believed God had called him to do, yet so many things in his life seemed to be going wrong. It wasn't until someone asked him a simple question that he began to consider whether he was facing spiritual resistance. His perspective gave me a lot to think about in my own life, and I think it will for you too.I'm so glad you're here for this conversation!All things Cynthia Every Moment HolyEvery Moment Holy: Rites of PassageAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

If you've ever convinced yourself your kindergartner's reading struggles mean he'll never get into college, hold a job, or leave your house, welcome. I've been there. 😂After 23 years of parenting, I've learned that some of the things we worry about most aren't the things that matter most. And some of the struggles we desperately want God to take away from our kids might actually be the very things He's using to shape them.Today we're talking about what it means to build our families on a firm foundation in a world that seems to value everything but the things that matter eternally. I'm also sharing four parenting lessons I learned at the playground (because apparently there's more to learn there than just how to avoid getting taken out by a swing).We're talking about letting kids struggle, not comparing their paths, finding the right people, and figuring out what success should actually look like for our families.Because at the end of the day, our goal isn't to raise impressive kids. It's to raise kids who know and follow Jesus.Whether your kids are five or twenty-five, this one's for you. And trust me, I needed the reminder just as much as anyone.For more playground rules parenting advice check out Life is Messy, God is GoodAll things CynthiaSurveyAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

After 25 years of marriage, I've learned one critical thing: my husband loves a good gift, and I'd prefer someone just unload the dishwasher. And that's just one of the many things we're talking about with this week's legendary guest, Dr. Gary Chapman, the man who literally wrote the book on love languages.We're talking about why you can know your spouse's love language and still completely miss the mark. Turns out, there are different "dialects" within each love language, and what makes one person feel loved might drive another person absolutely crazy. We get into why good intentions aren't always enough, how to stop turning every disagreement into a courtroom argument, and why the attitude we bring into marriage might matter more than how we're feeling about our spouse on any given Tuesday.Dr. Chapman also shares some great advice on loving our kids as they grow, why our love languages can look different depending on the season of life, and one simple question we should be asking our spouses every few weeks. Oh, and if you're wondering about the behind-the-scenes of my conversation with one of the world's leading relationship experts, I'll just say I accidentally missed our original interview. Thankfully, grace appears to be one of his love languages, too.Don't miss this one, friends. It's funny, practical, and a really good reminder that loving someone well isn't just about what we're giving, but whether they're actually receiving it.The Love Language That Matters Most by Dr. Gary Chapman5 Love Languages WebsiteAll things CynthiaAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

I’ve had the privilege of interviewing Pastor Max Lucado many times over the years, and somehow it never gets old. He’s someone so many of us have admired for years and years, which means I decided it was time to ask him a few questions I’ve been saving. You’re welcome. 😊 Today Pastor Max tells us the spiritual habit that has shaped his faith more than any other, what he wishes every 40-year-old knew, what every 70-year-old needs to remember, which Bible character he most wants to sit down with in heaven, and what he would preach if he only had one sermon left. I know, right? We also have such a meaningful conversation about courage—what it looks like to stay steady when you feel outnumbered, discouraged, exhausted, or like you’re the only one trying to live faithfully. Max takes us into the life of Elijah and reminds us that courage isn’t about never struggling, but knowing where to anchor your faith when you do.This is such a special conversation with one of my spiritual heroes. I can’t wait for you to listen. And pretty please, share it with a friend too!All Things Cynthia Unbreakable Courage: Strong Faith in an Age of Anxiety, Chaos, and Exhaustion by Max LucadoTake our Survey Here!Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Last week on MESSmerized, I talked about what happens when you’ve prayed and prayed . . . and nothing seems to change. You know God is good. You know He hears you. But sometimes it still feels like He’s nowhere to be found.That’s why this week’s conversation with Tammy Trent feels so timely.Tammy lost her husband in a tragic diving accident in Jamaica on September 11, 2001, and that loss began a very real journey of asking God where He was in the middle of unimaginable pain.Today we’re talking about what Tammy has learned in the 25 years since then—how to trust God when you can’t feel Him, why hard questions don’t mean you have weak faith, why truth has to carry us when our feelings can’t, and how to let go of the life we thought we were supposed to have. She also shares some incredibly specific ways God met her in the middle of her grief.If you’ve ever thought, “God, do You see me? Do You hear me? Where are You in this?” this conversation is for you.Also, if someone came to mind while you were reading this, send it their way pretty please! Where are You Now God? By Tammy Trent All things Cynthia Yanof Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Tell me I’m not alone. Have you ever prayed for something so long that you’ve started wondering, “Are You there, God? It’s me, Cynthia.”Today we’re talking about Habakkuk and what prayer looks like when God feels silent, His answer makes no sense, or nothing seems to be changing.Habakkuk gives us three things to hold onto:Honesty. God can handle the real prayer—the frustrated, confused, “Where are You?” prayer.Higher ground. Sometimes we need to get out of the weeds, quiet the noise, and let God’s Word—not our circumstances—shape what we believe.Hope. Habakkuk doesn’t end with everything fixed. He ends with confidence that God is still sovereign and will give him the footing to walk whatever terrain is ahead.If you’re waiting, wondering, or wrestling with God right now, today’s show is for you.P.S. — If you haven’t filled out the MESSmerized survey, will you do that pretty please? It’s right here!P.P.S. — If you enjoyed today’s show, will you share it with your besties?All things CynthiaAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

I recorded this interview right before meeting some friends for lunch, and I could not stop talking about it. By the time lunch was over, they had all bought the book. That’s how much this conversation got me.And so . . . I’m thrilled to have Dr. Kathy Koch on the show today. The last time she was here, the response from you guys was incredible, and she was gracious enough to come back—even after I mistakenly called her dead one time. 😂Today we’re talking about her book 8 Great Smarts, and I’m telling you, this one has changed the way I look at my kids—and myself.Dr. Kathy walks us through the eight different “smarts,” how to recognize them, and why understanding the way God wired us can be so freeing. We talk about why struggling in school does NOT mean you aren’t smart, how some of the things that drive us crazy about our kids may actually point to their strengths, and even how understanding your smarts can help you recognize the ways you naturally relate to and connect with God.Plus, I share how I passed the bar exam but never managed to pass a piano theory test after nine years of lessons. Make it make sense.Turns out, life smarts a little less when you understand how you’re smart. See what I did there? 😂 And PLEASE share this one with a friend. I really think every parent—and honestly every adult—needs this word from Dr. Kathy. All things Cynthia8 Great Smarts by Dr. KathyDr. Kathy’s WebsiteAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

WE’RE BACK! After taking August off, MESSmerized is officially back for a brand-new fall season. I’ve got lots to catch you up on in the intro, and first I just want to say thank you for giving me a little space to step away and recharge. It was so needed, and now we’re coming back firing with some incredible guests this fall.And there was really only one way to kick things off: my dear close personal friend Candace Cameron Bure. And by “close personal friend,” I mean we’ve never actually met in person, talk about once a year, and I remain fully committed to making this friendship happen.Candace and I talk about everything from becoming “Candy Graham” to two new grandbabies, what she’d tell her younger self about parenting, and why busyness can quietly steal our hope. We also talk about her new devotional, Wild Hope, the Scripture she memorized before heading into the Malaysian jungle for Special Forces: World’s Toughest Test, and of course, her Christmas movies. Plus, because apparently I learned nothing from last time, I put her through another Full House trivia game.One more thing before you go: later this week I’m sending out a survey, as promised, because I really want your feedback on the show—what you’re loving, what you want more of, what you want less of, all of it. If you haven’t already, head to cynthiayanof.com and enter your email so you can be part of all the MESSmerized happenings.Grateful for you friends . . . can’t wait to kick things off!Wild Hope: A 30-Day Devotional to Overcome Life’s Challenges by CandaceCandace’s Live TourAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy