How to Embrace Your Rage with Valarie Kaur: The Next Right Step, Part 3

[1:26] - Why we need intersectional personal development spaces and curriculums[5:46] - What helped me rise through difficulty, build confidence, and the life I wanted [10:15] - Why we need systems in place to take care of our well-being and goals in life and work[21:15] - How you can spend 6 weeks with Komal building and advancing your resiliency, and a strong foundation and safety net in your life[28:27] - How your life can change after choosing to invest in yourself: The Next Right  Step Alumni share their transformative experiencesKeep up with Komal at: https://www.instagram.com/komalminhas Catch up on weekly content related to each episode at:https://www.instagram.com/lessonslearned.co/ Find out all about Komal’s resilience building programs at:https://www.instagram.com/trainwithkomal/  Work with Komal, grow your resiliency, and build a strong foundation and safety net for your life that propels you forward at www.komal.com/tnrs  Lessons Learned is produced and hosted by Komal Minhas and by Renira Naidu with assistance from Daniela Ochoa Creative Direction by Renira Naidu.  Content  by Daniela Ochoa Video Production and Audio Editing by Maddie Foran.

Have you ever spent months doing ‘quiet work’ to prepare for a new season in life and work? Have you taken the time to implement habits, routines, systems and structures you would need to succeed as you work towards your goals ahead?  In this episode, Komal talks about what it’s like to come out of a season of quiet work and bet on yourself as you set out to achieve your goals. 1:51 – Questioning the goodness in our lives: Why do we do it? Why it’s equally as important for us to prepare for the goodness to come in our lives, as we tend to do for the “bad news”3:33 – letting ourselves think about the potential of success: let yourself lean into the good when it shows up and believe in your success 4:28 – Hear all about Komal’s new free workshopsKeep up with Komal at: https://www.instagram.com/komalminhasCatch up on weekly content related to each episode at:https://www.instagram.com/lessonslearned.co/Find out all about Komal’s resilience building programs at:https://www.instagram.com/trainwithkomal/Join one of Komal’s three free workshops: “Rooted, Resilient and Inspired to Leap: The Six Keys to Unleashing Your Next Level Self and Unlocking Your Dream Life” at www.komal.com/workshop Lessons Learned is produced and hosted by Komal Minhas and by Renira Naidu with assistance from Daniela OchoaCreative Direction by Renira Naidu. Content  by Daniela OchoaVideo Production and Audio Editing by Maddie Foran.

[8:18] -  What does it mean to live life on your own terms? When you think of your own definition and relationship to "success", what does success look like to you? Komal and Deepica talk about how people can have different definitions of success, and how our own definition of success has changed throughout our lives and careers. [10:14] - When is it time to create a boundary with work? Komal shares what led her to draw a line in the sand when it came to her relationship to work and the expectations she had for herself, and how this experience completely transformed her life. [13:55] - Navigating our relationship to work and wellness:  Deepica shares about her wish to create space in her life to care for herself and continue to make the impact that she wants to make by having a sustainable relationship to work.[21:45] - What are some things that you have started doing to take care of yourself since the start of the pandemic that are now non-negotiables? Deepica and Komal talk about the small silver linings and moments of joy that they have found from this challenging time, and how being more mindful of these moments in our lives can help us find joy.[26:55] - How connecting to your "Why" can help you shift your relationship to work: Deepica shares about her "Why" for creating her brand LiveTinted, and the ways that her mission to fight colorism grounds her in her purpose every day and allows her to persevere.[30:04] - When we make decisions for ourselves because they feel right, we can unleash a domino effect: How showing up for your life as fully as you posssibly can, and as rooted in your identity and needs as possible can have a bigger impact that you can imagine.

Valarie Kaur is a civil rights attorney, Sikh activist, and author of “See No Stranger”. In this conversation, Komal talks to Valarie about the difference between forgiveness and reconciliation, the concept of love as a verb that requires labour and care, and the ways that connecting to our ancestry and identity can help us amplify our impact and root into ourselves. Trigger warning: Mention of Sexual Assault.[4:16] -  Rooting into our identities to persevere in the fight for justice: Valarie shares with us the story of how she began to root into her identity and found the Warrior Woman within her after receiving advice from her Grandfather to not 'abandon her post' in her struggle and fight for justice. She shares advice on how you can also connect to the warrior within you to fight for justice. [11:15] - How does one go about moving through and letting go of the identities that have been thrust upon them? Valarie shares how she has gone through the process of unlearning certain identities that have been thrust upon her, and how she has learned to root into the identities that she wants to be defined by moving forward. [19:59] - How letting emotions come and go can make you resilient:Komal and Valarie talk about the bravery that it takes to show up with empathy and love in order to fight for change and justice in any space that we exist in. [25:35] - The difference between reconciliation and forgiveness: Valarie shares her experience with forgiveness and reconciliation, and how forgiveness allowed her to heal herself. How learning to process one’s rage can connect us to the ability to fight for ourselves, and also love ourselves. [29:28] - Why tuning into your rage can be divine: How we can harness the energy of rage to channel our creative work into the world in a safe container. “The aim of divine rage is not vengeance, but to reorder the world.” - Valarie Kaur[34:00] - How we can summon our ancestors to tune into our strength: Valarie shares how connecting to your ancestry can support you in showing up in the way that you are meant to in the world. “To see no stranger is not just about seeing others as a part of you that you do not know, but it is seeing yourself in a world that wants to make you a stranger to yourself.” - Valarie Kaur 

Grief during a pandemic is complicated. Whether it is unpacking our grief around the loss of our friends, loved ones, or others, or the loss of parts of ourselves and our lives, our grief deserves our care and attention. In this short solo episode, Komal shares mores about the space she gave herself over the last two weeks as she encountered a depth of grief and vulnerability, and the process of lifting herself back up.

This week, Komal revisits a Mother’s Day episode she recorded last year about the lessons we have learned from our mothers. “I am bringing you into my relationship with two important women in my life, my mother (Ma), and my maternal grandmother (Nani Ma). I asked and recorded them sharing about the lessons their mothers taught them. It was the first time I’d ever heard my grandmother speak about her own mom, Ama. It was so beautiful and so funny.I also share so many of the stories you all submitted about your lessons learned from the mothers in your life. Your wisdom is so powerful -- thank you for sharing your words and stories with me.” - Komal Minhas[3:40] Komal asks her Grandma and her Mother what lessons they learned from their own mothers and reflects on the lessons that have been passed down through generations of Mothers in her family  [8:39] Komal shares an important lesson she has learned from her Grandmother: that “we can remain soft, vulnerable, and empathetic in the face of enduring some of life’s greatest traumas”[15:30] Komal reflects on the resilience she has learned from her Mother throughout her lifetime and how they came out from hard times together even stronger [21:45] Members from our community share the lessons they have learned from their own mothers, as well as their own experiences with mothering[30:55] “The lessons we learn from our mothers, we don’t really know them until we’ve lived them.” Komal reflects on how we can get clarity and understanding about the lessons our mothers taught us when we were younger as we grow old.[38:26] Who are we as a society without our mothers? The ones who take the time to check in, nurture us, and take care of us? Komal shares why it’s more important now, more than ever, to show our gratitude for those that are leaning into Mothering. Be sure to follow Komal (@komalminhas) and Lessons Learned (@lessonslearned.co) on Instagram to have your questions and stories featured in future episodes and subscribe to Komal on Youtube to watch the show each week. 

In this week’s episode, Luvvie Ajayi Jones, New York Times Best-Selling Author shares with us the power of surrounding yourself with people who see the bigger you, how connecting to your identity is a superpower, and how you have permission to want more in your life and work.[2:03] What does it take to be the first domino? Rooting into our identities in order to take the first leap[8:40] Luvvie shares why who you are is your Superpower, and Komal and her discuss why it’s so important for you to ask for what you need [18:53] Luvvie shares with us why she values being herself and doing what she wants more than anything, and Komal tells us how leaning into the ability of “not being liked” can transform your relationships with others[27:08] Luvvie makes a case for getting comfortable with being uncomfortable and how being yourself can be a revolutionary act that can change your life [31:00] The Power of Community - How community can help you believe in, and see yourself[35:00] - Members of our community discuss why it is important for us to give ourselves permission to want more.

It’s been a year since the pandemic hit, and we all are trying to make sense of life as much as we can right now. This series focuses on the lessons we’ve learned after this year of quarantine, sharing insights and wisdom from our guests of The Next Right Step program. For part one, Komal interviews Minaa B, licensed therapist and boundaries expert. In this episode we learn how to create strong boundaries and how to honour ourselves and those we love in the process. We also explore how to navigate boundaries with work, how to navigate the fear that can come when creating and sustaining boundaries and more.Part One: Boundaries Are Self-Care with Minaa B.[4:50] - Komal shares her TNRS interview with Minaa B about boundaries and self care. They talk about what boundaries are, the five dimensions of self-care, and how you can connect with them to set boundaries in your life.[12:46] - Minaa B. tells us how setting boundaries can create guilt, and even safety issues in some cases. She shares some advice on how we can work through guilt, and what we can do in circumstances when things feel unsafe. [17:00] - How we can change the way that we respond to circumstances and other people rather than changing our boundaries, and how we can stand up for them. [22:35] - How we can choose who to trust when considering who we are going to in our life when we are looking for validation, support, knowledge, affirmation, or different considerations when it comes to what is on our heart. [30:51] - Boundaries around work and energy management: what does it look like to do this during a pandemic?[41:13] - Implementing new boundaries with ourselves and others can be anxiety-inducing. How we can work through the fear that comes with change, and continue doing things that are good for us?[47:00] - Komal and Minaa share what is next in their lives and careers.If you aren’t already, be sure to give our podcast a follow on Instagram @lessonslearned.co account where we will be sharing weekly resources and advice for you to chew on life’s lessons. Instagram: @komalminhas Instagram: @lessonslearned.co To submit a lesson to be discussed on the show, or to submit a potential guest, visit: www.komal.com. Lessons Learned is hosted and produced by Komal Minhas. Produced and Visual Designed by Renira Naidu. Content by Daniela Ochoa.Video Production and Audio Editing by Madison Foran. Music by Smith the Mister, Soyb, and Amine Maxwell.

“I have to slow down now in order to go fast, strong, and resiliently later.” - Komal Minhas [9:06]  – How do you go about changing something that is already in motion? How do you stop the inertia? Komal shares what the last 3 months have been like for her and why she decided to take time off to restructure her company, team, daily habits , and recover her physical and psychological wellness. [12:25] – Komal shares what she did to rebuild her life [18:32] – Komal shares how she was able to re-focus on her business and found her way to the next right step in her life, and what that looked like for her.[23:45] – How you can get clear on what matters to you, what you are willing to show up for, your personal mission, connection to your culture and identity, purpose and your bigger why.[27:00]– How if you are in a season of hardship right now, you can trust in your North Star and capacity to show up for yourself.If you aren’t already, be sure to give our podcast a follow on Instagram @lessonslearned.co account where we will be sharing weekly resources and advice for you to chew on life’s lessons. Instagram: @komalminhas Instagram: @lessonslearned.co To submit a lesson to be discussed on the show, or to submit a potential guest, visit: www.komal.com. Lessons Learned is hosted and produced by Komal Minhas. Produced and Visual Designed by Renira Naidu. Content by Daniela Ochoa. Video Production and Audio Editing by Madison Foran. Music by Soyb and Amine Maxwell.

The wait is (almost) over: Komal will be back next week with a new and refreshed season of "Lessons Learned". Subscribe for deep conversations, uncomfortable but necessary lessons, and tender moments of self-care.