Episode 26: The Cycle Ends With Me

What happens when the person you're taught to be isn't the person you really are? And what happens when choosing yourself means losing the people you love? Great prices on third-party tested peptides! Visit www.kydensupply.com and use code LAYLOW10 for 10% off.This week on Lay Low Pod, Erin sits down with her longtime friend Lisa Arns for an honest, heartfelt conversation about growing up Mormon in Utah, navigating childhood trauma, coming out as gay, and learning to love herself without needing anyone else's approval.Lisa opens up about growing up in a religious household, struggling with anger and self-worth, and eventually finding the courage to live authentically. When she came out to her family, she experienced years of separation from her parents. But her story doesn't end there. Through time, understanding, and forgiveness, those relationships began to heal.Now, after 24 years with her partner Jo, Lisa reflects on the experiences that shaped her, the lessons she's learned, and why she wouldn't trade the life she's built for anyone else's expectations.In this episode:Growing up Mormon in Utah and questioning expectationsChildhood sexual abuse and its lasting emotional impactUnderstanding her sexuality while navigating religious beliefsComing out to her family and experiencing years of estrangementFinding acceptance, friendship, and love outside the Mormon bubbleRebuilding relationships with her parents and learning to forgiveHow childhood pain can show up as anger, shame, and insecurityLearning to respond instead of reactBreaking free from perfectionism and the pressure to please othersWhy failure, self-awareness, and giving yourself grace are essential to growthChoosing the people who add value to your lifeThis isn't a story about hating religion or blaming the past. It's about recognizing that what works for one person doesn't necessarily work for another, and that we all deserve the freedom to figure out who we are.The biggest takeaway? You can love your family, appreciate your upbringing, and still choose a completely different life. You don't need permission to be yourself, and the right people will love you for exactly who you are.Sponsored by Kyden SupplyThis episode is brought to you by Kyden Supply, offering peptides including NAD+, GLOW, and Retaglutide, with an emphasis on third-party testing and quality.Use code LAYLOW10 for a discount at checkout.Follow Lay Low Pod for more unfiltered conversations about relationships, religion, personal growth, and the life experiences that make us who we are.Real stories. Hard conversations. No judgment.

What happens when you spend your whole life trying to be the good Mormon boy, only to realize you never really knew yourself? Great prices on third-party tested peptides! Visit www.kydensupply.com and use code LAYLOW10 for 10% off.This week, Erin sits down with longtime friend Ryan Ellsworth for an honest, funny, and sometimes uncomfortable conversation about growing up Mormon, sex, temple marriage, infidelity, divorce, and learning to break free from the expectations you were raised with.Ryan did everything he thought he was supposed to do. He served a mission, married in the temple, built a career, and raised a family. But after his marriage ended, he found himself questioning everything, including his relationships, his self-worth, and who he really was outside of being a husband and father.Now at 48, Ryan is embracing a new chapter, getting comfortable with uncomfortable conversations, and even taking a sex and intimacy course. Nothing is off-limits as two longtime friends compare their experiences growing up Mormon and navigating life on the other side.In this episode, we get into:Mormon sex rules — From no kissing lying down to being virgins on our wedding days and the confusing transition into married life.Temple marriage & infidelity — Following the prescribed path, overlooking red flags, and discovering that an eternal marriage isn't always forever.Sexual shame & curiosity — Growing up with strict expectations around sexuality and learning to have open conversations as adults.The good boy complex — People-pleasing, seeking approval, ignoring your own needs, and finally learning to set boundaries.Sex & intimacy at 48 — Why Ryan signed up for a sex and intimacy seminar and the surprising lessons he's learning about vulnerability and self-love.Life after Mormonism — Divorce, dating, unconventional relationships, and questioning beliefs you once accepted without hesitation.Childhood wounds & adult relationships — How early experiences shape our self-worth and the partners we choose.Learning to love yourself — Finding independence, embracing your inner black sheep, and realizing it's never too late to start over.From Mormon missions and temple marriages to sex seminars and second chances, this conversation is about much more than sex. It's about the freedom to ask questions, challenge expectations, and finally become comfortable with who you really are.Let's Lay Low.This Episode Is Sponsored by Kyden SupplyWe're proud to partner with Kyden Supply, offering premium, third-party-tested research peptides with a commitment to quality, transparency, and testing.www.kydensupply.comExplore their selection, including NAD+, GLOW, and retaglutide research peptides, and use code LAYLOW10 for 10% off your order.Kyden Supply products are intended for research purposes only and are not approved for human consumption.

At 24, Erin thought she had life all figured out. At 44, she knows better—and she's still high maintenance. Great prices on third-party tested peptides! Visit www.kydensupply.com and use code LAYLOW10 for 10% off.With her 45th birthday right around the corner, Erin is looking back at 20 years of lessons, unexpected turns, personal growth, and realizing that getting older might actually be the best part of life. From being a young Mormon wife and mother to becoming a divorced mom, business owner, and a woman who knows exactly what she wants, life looks nothing like she imagined at 24—and that's not necessarily a bad thing.In this solo episode, Erin gets personal about the perspectives that have shifted over the last two decades. She's learned that friendships don't need constant attention to be meaningful, parents are just people doing their best, and worrying about what everyone thinks of you is a complete waste of energy.She's also discovered that confidence, sexuality, and knowing what you want can actually get better with age. And being high maintenance? That's not a character flaw. Sometimes it's simply knowing what you like, working hard for it, and refusing to apologize.In this episode:Why quality friendships matter more than having a big social circle.Learning to see your parents as people and giving them grace.Why being high maintenance doesn't mean being high drama.The freedom of realizing nobody is thinking about you nearly as much as you think.Raising independent children and learning to let them fly.Why sex, confidence, and knowing your own needs can improve with age.Finding joy outside of work—even if your Mahjong hobby turns into six sets and fifteen mats.Why generosity isn't about how much money you have, but how you make people feel.Plus, Erin shares what she's watching on Netflix, the revealing memoir she's currently reading about growing up on reality television, and why her dream of becoming a Dallas Cowboys cheerleader isn't completely dead yet.From learning to slow down and enjoy hobbies to embracing the freedom that comes with knowing yourself, Erin reflects on why she wouldn't trade the wisdom of her 40s for the certainty she thought she had in her 20s.At 24, she thought she was supposed to have life figured out. At 44, she's learning that life gets a whole lot better when you realize you never will.Because getting older doesn't mean becoming less of yourself. Sometimes it means finally becoming exactly who you were meant to be.Submit your listener questions or apply to be a guest at laylowpod.com.Thanks for laying low with me. ❤️

What happens when you spend your whole life being strong for everyone else, only to realize you've never truly felt safe yourself? Great prices on third-party tested peptides! Visit www.kydensupply.com and use code LAYLOW10 for 10% off.This week on Lay Low Pod, Erin sits down with longtime friend Harmonie Strickland for an honest, emotional, and sometimes hilarious conversation about childhood trauma, divorce, motherhood, and finding yourself after years of living in survival mode.Harmonie opens up about growing up in a home filled with domestic violence, how those early experiences shaped her relationships, and what it felt like to spend years trying to be chosen, loved, and accepted.After two divorces, raising four children, and starting over more than once, she's learning that healing isn't about changing the past. It's about recognizing the patterns, breaking the cycles, and choosing a different future.In this episode, we talk about:Growing up around abuse and recognizing generational traumaHow childhood experiences shape the relationships we chooseDivorce, abandonment, and learning you can't make someone choose youRaising four children while navigating life's hardest chaptersThe complicated relationships between mothers and adult childrenBreaking generational cycles without blaming previous generationsLearning to communicate, set boundaries, and know your worthFinding confidence, self-love, and a new passion for PilatesGetting your spark back and embracing a new chapter of lifeBecause sometimes the greatest thing we can do for the next generation is heal what was passed down to us.Real stories. Hard lessons. A little laughter. And a whole lot of growth.This episode is sponsored by Kyden Supply!We're excited to partner with Kyden Supply, offering peptides and wellness products including NAD+, GLOW, KLOW, and Retatrutide.Use code LAYLOW10 for 10% off your order.Kyden Supply offers third-party testing.Have questions? Their support chat is available to help you learn more about their products.Shop www.kydensupply.com and use code LAYLOW10 at checkout!

Life has been moving FAST for Erin—and apparently she wasn't getting the hint to slow down. First she flushed her car keys down the toilet…and when that didn't work, she got sick and ended up in bed for three days. 😂 Great prices on third-party tested peptides! Visit www.kydensupply.com and use code LAYLOW10 for 10% off.Turns out, sometimes life will slow you down when you refuse to do it yourself. In this solo episode, Erin talks about:• Flushing her keys down the toilet and the $600 lesson that followed• Why changing her environment completely shifted her energy• Getting sick and finally being forced to lay low• What watching East of Eden made her think about family, good vs. evil and the things we inherit• Processing her conversation with her son Colt and hearing his side of some really hard years• Giving kids space to have their own version of the story• Her Grandpa John, his business failures and the success that eventually came because he kept going• Why failure can look completely different when you see the whole story• Taking a minute to ask: Am I actually where I want to be?• The power of a “pause and pivot”—and realizing sometimes you don't need to pivot at all• Trusting yourself when things are moving really, really fast• Getting ready for the next level without rushing through the life you're living right nowSometimes slowing down isn't about changing direction. Sometimes it's the pause you need to realize you're already exactly where you need to be.Submit listener questions or share your story as a possible pod guest at www.laylowpod.comThanks for laying low with me. ❤️✨ LAY LOW POD'S FIRST SPONSOR — KYDEN SUPPLYI've personally been using peptides for about two years, and I'm excited to welcome Kyden Supply as Lay Low Pod's first sponsor.Kyden Supply offers third-party tested peptides, including NAD+ and GLOW, with support available if you're not sure where to start.Visit www.kydensupply.com and use code LAYLOW10 for 10% off.

Erin sits down with her youngest son, Colt Madsen, less than 24 hours after he returns home from five and a half months away in Texas. What starts as a catch-up about summer sales, rejection, consistency, and growing up quickly turns into one of the most honest and vulnerable conversations they’ve ever had. Great prices on third-party tested peptides! Visit www.kydensupply.com and use code LAYLOW10 for 10% off.For the first time, Erin gets to hear parts of their family story completely through Colt’s eyes. Sometimes life doesn’t give you a good option and a bad option. Sometimes it gives you a best worst option—and you figure out how to grow from it.In this episode, Erin and Colt talk about:• What Colt thinks Erin got right—and wrong—as a mom• Divorce through the eyes of a child and the memories that stayed with him• Losing the feeling of having a true “home base”• A difficult period in high school that Colt never fully shared with his parents• Why living with his best friend’s family became the best option during an uncertain time• The effort it took for Erin and Colt to stay connected while living apart• First love, first heartbreak, and losing a family he had also grown attached to• How those experiences affected Colt’s thoughts about love, marriage, and relationships• Faith, choosing not to serve a mission, and what Colt wishes Erin understood about his beliefs• People pleasing, rejection, and what five and a half months of door-to-door sales taught him• The power of consistency and how one difficult summer changed his confidence and perspective• The difference between feeling abandoned and recognizing that sometimes life simply doesn’t go according to plan• How their relationship has changed as Colt has grown from Erin’s little boy into one of her closest friendsThere are things Erin knew about her son’s childhood, things she thought she understood, and things she hears for the first time while sitting across from him in this conversation.And maybe the biggest lesson of the entire conversation comes in one simple moment. As Erin acknowledges the things she didn’t always get right as a mom, Colt reminds her:“We’re all trying.”Because sometimes there isn’t a perfect decision. Sometimes life doesn’t work out the way anyone planned. You make the best choice you can, keep moving forward, and eventually realize that even the best worst option can become an important part of who you are.Submit listener questions or share your story as a possible pod guest at www.laylowpod.comThanks for laying low with me. ❤️✨ LAY LOW POD'S FIRST SPONSOR — KYDEN SUPPLYI've personally been using peptides for about two years, and I'm excited to welcome Kyden Supply as Lay Low Pod's first sponsor.Kyden Supply offers third-party tested peptides, including NAD+ and GLOW, with support available if you're not sure where to start.Visit www.kydensupply.com and use code LAYLOW10 for 10% off.

What happens when the life you thought you were building suddenly falls apart—and you weren't the one who chose it? Great prices on third-party tested peptides! Visit www.kydensupply.com and use code LAYLOW10 for 10% off.In Episode 23 of Lay Low Pod, Erin sits down with Julie Jeppson, formally Julie Boyé, a single mom of eight who spent years sharing her family publicly before finding herself navigating a painful and very public divorce.Julie gets real about:• Raising eight kids while rebuilding her own life• Going through a four-year legal battle• Having your marriage end publicly when thousands of people are watching• Mormon culture, marriage and the expectations placed on women• Holding onto faith while questioning the people and systems around you• Financial survival and learning how to provide for a family on your own• Anger, grief and why healing doesn't happen on anyone else's timeline• Finding your voice after feeling silenced• The pressure to “give yourself grace” when you're still in survival mode• Letting go of the life you thought you were supposed to have• Reinventing yourself when you don't even know what comes next• Figuring out who you are outside of being a wife and momThis isn't just a conversation about divorce. It's about what happens when change chooses YOU—and how you begin putting yourself back together when the life you planned is no longer the life you're living.Julie is still in the messy middle of it, and that's exactly what makes this conversation so real.Submit listener questions or share your story as a possible pod guest at www.laylowpod.comThanks for laying low with me. ❤️✨ LAY LOW POD'S FIRST SPONSOR — KYDEN SUPPLYI've personally been using peptides for about two years, and I'm excited to welcome Kyden Supply as Lay Low Pod's first sponsor.Kyden Supply offers third-party tested peptides, including NAD+ and GLOW, with support available if you're not sure where to start.Visit www.kydensupply.com and use code LAYLOW10 for 10% off.

What if you’re not failing—you’re just in the messy middle? This week, Erin is talking about the space between where you started and where you’re going. The part where things don’t always look like you thought they would, the wins aren’t obvious, and you have to keep showing up without knowing exactly how the story ends. Great prices on third-party tested peptides! Visit www.kydensupply.com and use code LAYLOW10 for 10% off.Inspired by Benny Blanco’s book Fck Failure*, Erin shares some of her favorite lessons from his career and connects them to her own season of change—especially the way she’s redefining success after years of tying it to money, achievement, and security.✨ LAY LOW POD'S FIRST SPONSOR — KYDEN SUPPLYI've personally been using peptides for about two years, and I'm excited to welcome Kyden Supply as Lay Low Pod's first sponsor.Kyden Supply offers third-party tested peptides, including NAD+ and GLOW, with support available if you're not sure where to start.Visit www.kydensupply.com and use code LAYLOW10 for 10% off.Maybe success isn’t just what’s in the bank account. Maybe it’s being happy, healthy, and excited for the future.In this episode:Why the messy middle can feel like failure—even when you’re growingRedefining success beyond money and achievementWhy failure, rejection, and bad seasons are part of winningWhat Benny Blanco’s career teaches us about staying in the gameThe surprising story behind Rihanna’s “Diamonds”The heartbreak behind Justin Bieber’s “Love Yourself”Why a detour can take you somewhere better than the original planLearning when to pause, pivot, and keep goingWhy relationships and the people you build with matterHow to stop moving the goalpost and recognize the life you’ve already builtThe simple “one inch forward” exercise for going after what you really wantYou don’t have to have the whole thing figured out. You don’t even have to know exactly where you’re going. Sometimes you just have to keep moving one inch forward.Because the messy middle isn’t where the story falls apart. It might be where everything starts coming together.Submit listener questions or share your story as a possible pod guest at www.laylowpod.comThanks for laying low with me. ❤️

In this episode of Lay Low, Erin sits down with her personal psychic and medium, Meg, ([email protected]) for an open-minded conversation about intuition, energy, signs, the people we’ve lost, and the things in life we may never be able to fully explain. Great prices on third-party tested peptides! Visit www.kydensupply.com and use code LAYLOW10 for 10% off.Meg shares how she discovered her abilities, what it actually feels like to connect with someone who has passed, and the difference between being psychic and being a medium. She also explains why she doesn’t believe a reading should tell someone what to do with their life—but can instead offer clarity, healing, closure, and a different perspective.The conversation also turns to the world right now: why everything seems to feel faster and more intense, the energetic shifts Meg believes are happening, and how self-awareness, perspective, and intuition can help people navigate seasons of uncertainty.And then the conversation gets deeply personal when Erin’s late friend Amberly comes through with a message for her four boys.Whether you believe in psychics and mediums, are completely skeptical, or simply find yourself curious about the things we can’t explain, this episode isn’t about telling anyone what to believe. It’s about staying open to the possibility that life may be bigger than what we can see.In this episode:The difference between a psychic and a mediumHow Meg discovered and developed her abilitiesWhat it feels like to connect with someone who has passedWhy loved ones may send signs from the other sideThe role intuition plays in everyday lifeWhy Meg believes the energy of the world is shiftingCreating your reality without giving away your personal powerFinding peace and perspective in things we can’t explainA beautiful message from Erin’s late friend AmberlyWhy curiosity may matter more than certaintyCome curious. You don’t have to understand everything to leave room for something to bring you peace.Submit listener questions or share your story as a possible pod guest at www.laylowpod.comThanks for laying low with me. ❤️✨ LAY LOW POD'S FIRST SPONSOR — KYDEN SUPPLYI've personally been using peptides for about two years, and I'm excited to welcome Kyden Supply as Lay Low Pod's first sponsor.Kyden Supply offers third-party tested peptides, including NAD+ and GLOW, with support available if you're not sure where to start.Visit www.kydensupply.com and use code LAYLOW10 for 10% off.

Sometimes being selfish is exactly what saves you. Great prices on third-party tested peptides! Visit www.kydensupply.com and use code LAYLOW10 for 10% off.In this episode of Lay Low, Erin sits down with her friend Ryan Gregerson—a divorce attorney, business owner, and host of the Yes And Land podcast—for an honest conversation about divorce, relationships, business, and what happens when choosing yourself means changing the life everyone else expected you to live.Erin shares how Ryan became part of her story during a pivotal time in her life. At their very first mastermind meeting, a vulnerable moment opened the door to conversations and decisions that would eventually change the direction of her life.The conversation turns to a word Erin heard often during her divorce: selfish. What if being selfish isn't always a bad thing? What if there are seasons when taking care of yourself, setting boundaries, making a change, or walking away is actually necessary to save yourself?And because Ryan's podcast finds life lessons through Disney, they even turn to an unlikely source of inspiration: Cruella de Vil. Because maybe there's something to be learned from a woman who knows exactly what she wants, walks into a room like she owns it, and isn't afraid to take up space. Just…leave the puppies alone.In this episode:When choosing yourself gets labeled as selfishWhy sometimes you have to save yourself firstThe vulnerable conversation that helped change Erin's lifeLearning to trust yourself through major life changesWhy divorce doesn't automatically mean a marriage failedWhat Erin and Ryan learned from their own divorcesParenting and co-parenting through changeWhy kids may be more adaptable than we give them credit forDating, relationships, and knowing yourself better the second time aroundThe importance of communication, kindness, and curiosity in relationshipsEntrepreneurship, loneliness, and finding people who understand the weight you carryWhat Cruella de Vil can teach us about confidence, authenticity, and owning a roomFinding the lesson in the chapters of life you never planned forThere are times when choosing yourself will disappoint people. There are times when someone may even call you selfish for doing it.But sometimes being selfish isn't about caring less about everyone else.Sometimes it's about finally caring enough about yourself to make the change that saves you.Submit listener questions or share your story as a possible pod guest at www.laylowpod.comThanks for laying low with me. ❤️✨ LAY LOW POD'S FIRST SPONSOR — KYDEN SUPPLYI've personally been using peptides for about two years, and I'm excited to welcome Kyden Supply as Lay Low Pod's first sponsor.Kyden Supply offers third-party tested peptides, including NAD+ and GLOW, with support available if you're not sure where to start.Visit www.kydensupply.com and use code LAYLOW10 for 10% off.