TRAFFIC OFFENCES

Whether you need a holiday, to see extended family or flee from the authorities, most of us will need to engage with aeroplanes at some point. We've all led the cops a merry dance to the airport before barrelling our burning stolen vehicle into a departing passenger jet to watch it explode in GTA, but in real life such horseplay is frowned upon. Airport decorum, leg room and lost luggage are among the topics called aside to be cavity searched in this thrilling episode of everyone's favourite podcast.

You only need to see software that you used to just purchase but now need to pay a subscription for to understand what platform decay is about. We might easily apply it to social media platforms, but does it apply more widely to other areas of our cultural and economic life? Mike and Aaron tussle with this contentious term in order to figure out what the hell went wrong and if there's anything we could do to reverse this alarming trend that's pissing all of us off at a rate of knots.

In movies, a preponderance of exposition ruins our enjoyment. But, in real life, many would give their right arm to know just what the hell is going on, and, more importantly, what is going to happen going forward. Oracles, seers, mystics, clairvoyants, shamen, soothsayers, psychics, and fortune tellers alike have claimed to foresee the future through the ages. Do they have the gift of second sight, or are they just elaborate charlatans? Our own two experienced charlatans debate fate in this thrilling episode.

Well honk our horns and cover us in custard; the time for clowning is now. Being a buffoon is serious business you know. Our two hosts go on to realise that they are too sadly too amateurish to be true buffoons and can only peak at the rank of fool.

Among the most foremost of modern scourges are both the offence of traffic itself, and offences committed while in traffic. Messrs Bliss and Large proceed to breakdance on the proverbial car roofs, all while spinning some possibly apocryphal personal misdeeds behind the wheel to avoid self-incrimination before the statute of limitations expire.

There's more to a door than you'd think. You don't just open, close or smash it in. Well, actually, that is kind of it, other than the process of locking. But where would we be without doors? Exposed to the elements, vulnerable to predators and nothing would be protected, that's where! So for safety, security and privacy's sake, our two doorknockers delve into the wonderful world of non-sexual openings for your non-sexual gratification. Enjoy!

We all love foreign bodies entering us without our knowledge, right? Well this is our new reality, as microplastics are now part of our blood and organs, whether we like it or not. But how did this happen, how bad is it, and is there any hope of expelling these invaders before they sabotage us all from the inside? Listen on to discover the terrifying truth!

Everyone likes to think people are inspired by them. But the majority of those people aren't inspiring anyone. The likes of me and you might struggle to find even one person that remembers a conversation they had with us. But a gilded few get to wear the label 'Influencer' like a Roman tunic. Who are these contemporary elites, what do they want and how can we make them go away? Mike and Aaron stifle their envy to find out the answers to these questions and more in the latest thrilling instalment of everyone's favourite zero budget podcast!

Now of course certain sorts can turn almost anything on or offline into a scam, but at this stage in our history, it's striking just how much scammers define the landscape of cryptocurrency and NFTs. But is it an unfair perspective? Is there more to Cryptocurrency than a quick pump and dump behind the blockchain sheds? Play on to find out oh inquisitive listener. (P.s. LargeCoin is available now and will absolutely *never* lose value. 100% guaranteed link in bio!!!)

What happens when you fancy nookie without the social expectations; banging without colliding; getting off without getting together? You've wandered into the realm of cybersex, you fool! Whether it's an Only Fans party, sexting, or being flayed alive by the ultimate Sado-masochistic A.I. Sex Robot, Late Night Large will get to the bottom of it. And give it a virtual spank while they're there, no doubt.