The Unperformed Version of You: For Parents of LGBTQ Kids Who Are Tired of Saying I'm Fine

Do you ever feel overwhelmed by all of the information coming at you?This week's Butterfly Effect gives you four tiny actions across four different points in your own process, from repairing a moment you regret to saying your pride out loud.In this episode, you'll learn how to:Use the specific repair language for a moment you wish you'd handled differentlyGet guilt out of your head and onto paper instead of letting it circle silentlyKnow what to do instead of arguing when you're stuck in conflictSay one sentence of advocacy out loud, even if it feels like more than you're ready forPress play for four tiny actions you can start today.Hi, I’m Heather Hester, and I’m so glad you’re here!Feeling uncertain or overwhelmed? Download my free guide to take you from Panic to Plan.Stay informed - visit my websiteInvite me to speak at your workshop or eventRead my book, Parenting with Pride. Share More Human. More Kind. Support Buy Me A CoffeeWatch on YouTubeListen to *NEW* episodes every Tuesday and Friday!At the heart of my work is a deep commitment to compassion, authenticity, and transformative allyship, especially for those navigating the complexities of parenting LGBTQ kids. Through this podcast, speaking, my writing, and the spaces I create, I help people unlearn bias, embrace their full humanity, and grow their capacity for courageous, compassionate connection.For parents, allies, and those pioneering a way to lead with love and kindness, I’m here with true, messy, and heart-warming stories, real tools, and grounding support to help you move from fear to fierce, informed action.Whether you’re listening in, working with me directly, or quietly taking it all in, I see you. And I’m so glad you’re part of this journey.More Human. More Kind. formerly Just Breathe: Parenting Your LGBTQ Teen is a safe and supportive podcast in a heartfelt and empowering space where a mom and advocate offers the wisdom of lived experience and practical guidance and education to parents and allies, teaching empathy, kindness, love, and strong boundaries while supporting LGBTQ teens and the diverse LGBTQ community, including gay, lesbian, bisexual, trans, transgender, and queer individuals, through conversations about mental health, grief, gender identity, sexual orientation, human rights, social justice, parenting, parent support, and meaningful LGBTQ allyship and allyship in action.This podcast uses the following third-party services for analysis: Podscribe - https://podscribe.com/privacy

Your teen isn't the only one going through a coming out process. You are too, and most parents skip past their own.From shock to true acceptance, there are six distinct stages parents move through after a child comes out. Naming them makes the hardest parts- the guilt, the denial, the shame- survivable instead of silent.In this episode, you'll learn how to:Recognize which of the six stages you're in right now, from shock through true acceptanceWork through guilt and shame without carrying them for yearsMove toward genuine acceptance instead of just tolerancePress play to find out where you are in your own coming out process — and how to keep moving forward.Hi, I’m Heather Hester, and I’m so glad you’re here!Feeling uncertain or overwhelmed? Download my free guide to take you from Panic to Plan.Stay informed - visit my websiteInvite me to speak at your workshop or eventRead my book, Parenting with Pride. Share More Human. More Kind. Support Buy Me A CoffeeWatch on YouTubeListen to *NEW* episodes every Tuesday and Friday!At the heart of my work is a deep commitment to compassion, authenticity, and transformative allyship, especially for those navigating the complexities of parenting LGBTQ kids. Through this podcast, speaking, my writing, and the spaces I create, I help people unlearn bias, embrace their full humanity, and grow their capacity for courageous, compassionate connection.For parents, allies, and those pioneering a way to lead with love and kindness, I’m here with true, messy, and heart-warming stories, real tools, and grounding support to help you move from fear to fierce, informed action.Whether you’re listening in, working with me directly, or quietly taking it all in, I see you. And I’m so glad you’re part of this journey.More Human. More Kind. formerly Just Breathe: Parenting Your LGBTQ Teen is a safe and supportive podcast in a heartfelt and empowering space where a mom and advocate offers the wisdom of lived experience and practical guidance and education to parents and allies, teaching empathy, kindness, love, and strong boundaries while supporting LGBTQ teens and the diverse LGBTQ community, including gay, lesbian, bisexual, trans, transgender, and queer individuals, through conversations about mental health, grief, gender identity, sexual orientation, human rights, social justice, parenting, parent support, and meaningful LGBTQ allyship and allyship in action.Mentioned in this episode:Contact Hester Painting & Decorating for a consultation! https://go.hesterdecorating.com/mhmkThis podcast uses the following third-party services for analysis: Podscribe - https://podscribe.com/privacy

Tuesday's six stages aren't just something to understand — they're something to practice.This week's Butterfly Effect gives you one small action for four different moments in your teen's coming out process, from staying present in silence to knowing exactly when to step back.In this episode, you'll learn how to:Practice being a "witness" instead of an investigator during the invisible early stageAsk the one question that takes pressure off your kid during the double-life stageRecognize when pulling back, not stepping in, is the most supportive thing you can doPress play for four tiny actions you can start today.Hi, I’m Heather Hester, and I’m so glad you’re here!Feeling uncertain or overwhelmed? Download my free guide to take you from Panic to Plan.Stay informed - visit my websiteInvite me to speak at your workshop or eventRead my book, Parenting with Pride. Share More Human. More Kind. Support Buy Me A CoffeeWatch on YouTubeListen to *NEW* episodes every Tuesday and Friday!At the heart of my work is a deep commitment to compassion, authenticity, and transformative allyship, especially for those navigating the complexities of parenting LGBTQ kids. Through this podcast, speaking, my writing, and the spaces I create, I help people unlearn bias, embrace their full humanity, and grow their capacity for courageous, compassionate connection.For parents, allies, and those pioneering a way to lead with love and kindness, I’m here with true, messy, and heart-warming stories, real tools, and grounding support to help you move from fear to fierce, informed action.Whether you’re listening in, working with me directly, or quietly taking it all in, I see you. And I’m so glad you’re part of this journey.More Human. More Kind. formerly Just Breathe: Parenting Your LGBTQ Teen is a safe and supportive podcast in a heartfelt and empowering space where a mom and advocate offers the wisdom of lived experience and practical guidance and education to parents and allies, teaching empathy, kindness, love, and strong boundaries while supporting LGBTQ teens and the diverse LGBTQ community, including gay, lesbian, bisexual, trans, transgender, and queer individuals, through conversations about mental health, grief, gender identity, sexual orientation, human rights, social justice, parenting, parent support, and meaningful LGBTQ allyship and allyship in action.This podcast uses the following third-party services for analysis: Podscribe - https://podscribe.com/privacy

Looking for support but not quite sure what type? We've got you covered!Did you know that your teen may be going through the hardest, most private season of their life right now and showing you almost none of it?Coming out isn't one conversation; it's a six-stage internal process your teen may move through for years before they ever say the words out loud. Understanding where they are helps you know how to show up — and when quiet isolation is more than a phase.In this episode, you'll learn how to:Recognize the six stages of your teen's coming out process, from identity confusion through synthesisTell the difference between normal identity development and warning signs that need professional supportSupport your teen through isolation, shame, and pride without rushing or forcing their processPress play to understand what your teen may be carrying alone right now — and how to become the safe door they need.Hi, I’m Heather Hester, and I’m so glad you’re here!Feeling uncertain or overwhelmed? Download my free guide to take you from Panic to Plan.Stay informed - visit my websiteInvite me to speak at your workshop or eventRead my book, Parenting with Pride. Share More Human. More Kind. Support Buy Me A CoffeeWatch on YouTubeListen to *NEW* episodes every Tuesday and Friday!At the heart of my work is a deep commitment to compassion, authenticity, and transformative allyship, especially for those navigating the complexities of parenting LGBTQ kids. Through this podcast, speaking, my writing, and the spaces I create, I help people unlearn bias, embrace their full humanity, and grow their capacity for courageous, compassionate connection.For parents, allies, and those pioneering a way to lead with love and kindness, I’m here with true, messy, and heart-warming stories, real tools, and grounding support to help you move from fear to fierce, informed action.Whether you’re listening in, working with me directly, or quietly taking it all in, I see you. And I’m so glad you’re part of this journey.More Human. More Kind. formerly Just Breathe: Parenting Your LGBTQ Teen is a safe and supportive podcast in a heartfelt and empowering space where a mom and advocate offers the wisdom of lived experience and practical guidance and education to parents and allies, teaching empathy, kindness, love, and strong boundaries while supporting LGBTQ teens and the diverse LGBTQ community, including gay, lesbian, bisexual, trans, transgender, and queer individuals, through conversations about mental health, grief, gender identity, sexual orientation, human rights, social justice, parenting, parent support, and meaningful LGBTQ allyship and allyship in action.Mentioned in this episode:Contact Hester Painting & Decorating for a consultation! https://go.hesterdecorating.com/mhmkThis podcast uses the following third-party services for analysis: Podscribe - https://podscribe.com/privacy

The unlearning doesn't stop. It just gets quieter, and quieter isn't the same as finished.This Butterfly Effect episode picks up Tuesday's quarterly check-in with one small practice: catching the reflex to label someone before you actually know anything true about them.In this episode, you'll learn how to:Notice the moment you want to label someone's gender or identity before you've been told anythingSit in uncertainty about someone's identity without reaching for a label to ease your own discomfortAsk yourself what you're still doing on autopilot that deserves a second lookPress play for this week's word, tiny action, and one line worth stealing.Hi, I’m Heather Hester, and I’m so glad you’re here!Feeling uncertain or overwhelmed? Download my free guide to take you from Panic to Plan.Stay informed - visit my websiteInvite me to speak at your workshop or eventRead my book, Parenting with Pride. Share More Human. More Kind. Support Buy Me A CoffeeWatch on YouTubeListen to *NEW* episodes every Tuesday and Friday!At the heart of my work is a deep commitment to compassion, authenticity, and transformative allyship, especially for those navigating the complexities of parenting LGBTQ kids. Through this podcast, speaking, my writing, and the spaces I create, I help people unlearn bias, embrace their full humanity, and grow their capacity for courageous, compassionate connection.For parents, allies, and those pioneering a way to lead with love and kindness, I’m here with true, messy, and heart-warming stories, real tools, and grounding support to help you move from fear to fierce, informed action.Whether you’re listening in, working with me directly, or quietly taking it all in, I see you. And I’m so glad you’re part of this journey.More Human. More Kind. formerly Just Breathe: Parenting Your LGBTQ Teen is a safe and supportive podcast in a heartfelt and empowering space where a mom and advocate offers the wisdom of lived experience and practical guidance and education to parents and allies, teaching empathy, kindness, love, and strong boundaries while supporting LGBTQ teens and the diverse LGBTQ community, including gay, lesbian, bisexual, trans, transgender, and queer individuals, through conversations about mental health, grief, gender identity, sexual orientation, human rights, social justice, parenting, parent support, and meaningful LGBTQ allyship and allyship in action.Mentioned in this episode:Contact Hester Painting & Decorating for a consultation! https://go.hesterdecorating.com/mhmkThis podcast uses the following third-party services for analysis: Podscribe - https://podscribe.com/privacy

Let's connect on Substack!Love is proven by what you're willing to unlearn. This is a check-in on that, for you and for me.Year-one unlearning is loud: fear, shame, and often a full religious deconstruction, and impossible to miss. What comes after is quieter and easy to overlook entirely: the automatic reach for a label, a tidy category, before you actually know anything true about someone. This episode is an honest look at where allyship goes once the big, obvious work is behind you.In this episode, you'll learn how to:Recognize the difference between year-one unlearning and the quieter unlearning that followsNotice the habit of labeling, and why it creates comfort for you and walls for someone elseRun a quarterly self-audit to keep your unlearning honest and ongoingNormalize still catching yourself, years into this work, as the actual practice rather than failurePress play for the full Quarterly Unlearning Check-In, five questions to return to every three months.Hi, I’m Heather Hester, and I’m so glad you’re here!Feeling uncertain or overwhelmed? Download my free guide to take you from Panic to Plan.Stay informed - visit my websiteInvite me to speak at your workshop or eventRead my book, Parenting with Pride. Share More Human. More Kind. Support Buy Me A CoffeeWatch on YouTubeListen to *NEW* episodes every Tuesday and Friday!At the heart of my work is a deep commitment to compassion, authenticity, and transformative allyship, especially for those navigating the complexities of parenting LGBTQ kids. Through this podcast, speaking, my writing, and the spaces I create, I help people unlearn bias, embrace their full humanity, and grow their capacity for courageous, compassionate connection.For parents, allies, and those pioneering a way to lead with love and kindness, I’m here with true, messy, and heart-warming stories, real tools, and grounding support to help you move from fear to fierce, informed action.Whether you’re listening in, working with me directly, or quietly taking it all in, I see you. And I’m so glad you’re part of this journey.More Human. More Kind. formerly Just Breathe: Parenting Your LGBTQ Teen is a safe and supportive podcast in a heartfelt and empowering space where a mom and advocate offers the wisdom of lived experience and practical guidance and education to parents and allies, teaching empathy, kindness, love, and strong boundaries while supporting LGBTQ teens and the diverse LGBTQ community, including gay, lesbian, bisexual, trans, transgender, and queer individuals, through conversations about mental health, grief, gender identity, sexual orientation, human rights, social justice, parenting, parent support, and meaningful LGBTQ allyship and allyship in action.Mentioned in this episode:Contact Hester Painting & Decorating for a consultation! https://go.hesterdecorating.com/mhmkThis podcast uses the following third-party services for analysis: Podscribe - https://podscribe.com/privacy

Have you ever felt like the more put together you are on the outside, the more chaotic you feel on the inside?This Butterfly Effect episode carries Tuesday's conversation about performance and honesty into one small, practical moment you can catch this week: the pause before you say "I'm fine" on autopilot.In this episode, you'll learn how to:Catch the moment you're about to perform "fine" instead of telling the truthSay one honest sentence this week that you'd normally edit outCheck in with yourself at the end of one day about the gap between how you looked and how you feltPress play for this week's word, tiny action, and one line worth stealing.Hi, I’m Heather Hester, and I’m so glad you’re here!Feeling uncertain or overwhelmed? Download my free guide to take you from Panic to Plan.Stay informed - visit my websiteInvite me to speak at your workshop or eventRead my book, Parenting with Pride. Share More Human. More Kind. Support Buy Me A CoffeeWatch on YouTubeListen to *NEW* episodes every Tuesday and Friday!At the heart of my work is a deep commitment to compassion, authenticity, and transformative allyship, especially for those navigating the complexities of parenting LGBTQ kids. Through this podcast, speaking, my writing, and the spaces I create, I help people unlearn bias, embrace their full humanity, and grow their capacity for courageous, compassionate connection.For parents, allies, and those pioneering a way to lead with love and kindness, I’m here with true, messy, and heart-warming stories, real tools, and grounding support to help you move from fear to fierce, informed action.Whether you’re listening in, working with me directly, or quietly taking it all in, I see you. And I’m so glad you’re part of this journey.More Human. More Kind. formerly Just Breathe: Parenting Your LGBTQ Teen is a safe and supportive podcast in a heartfelt and empowering space where a mom and advocate offers the wisdom of lived experience and practical guidance and education to parents and allies, teaching empathy, kindness, love, and strong boundaries while supporting LGBTQ teens and the diverse LGBTQ community, including gay, lesbian, bisexual, trans, transgender, and queer individuals, through conversations about mental health, grief, gender identity, sexual orientation, human rights, social justice, parenting, parent support, and meaningful LGBTQ allyship and allyship in action.Mentioned in this episode:Contact Hester Painting & Decorating for a consultation! https://go.hesterdecorating.com/mhmkThis podcast uses the following third-party services for analysis: Podscribe - https://podscribe.com/privacy

Continue being more human on Substack!What does being “more human” mean to you?This episode is a personal one, tracing how performing "fine" for most of my life, learned as a survival mechanism, gave way to embracing the vulnerable, raw, and messy parts of who I actually am. It's a direct answer to the question at the center of this whole show, and an invitation for you to ask it of yourself.In this episode, you'll learn how to:Understand "more human" as more honest and less performed, not more polished or more healedRecognize the gap between how put together you look and how you actually feel insideNotice one relationship where honesty would be met with relief instead of judgmentPractice one true sentence instead of the edited version you'd normally givePress play to hear the story behind this show's name, and three tools for closing your own inside-outside gap.Hi, I’m Heather Hester, and I’m so glad you’re here!Feeling uncertain or overwhelmed? Download my free guide to take you from Panic to Plan.Stay informed - visit my websiteInvite me to speak at your workshop or eventRead my book, Parenting with Pride. Share More Human. More Kind. Support Buy Me A CoffeeWatch on YouTubeListen to *NEW* episodes every Tuesday and Friday!At the heart of my work is a deep commitment to compassion, authenticity, and transformative allyship, especially for those navigating the complexities of parenting LGBTQ kids. Through this podcast, speaking, my writing, and the spaces I create, I help people unlearn bias, embrace their full humanity, and grow their capacity for courageous, compassionate connection.For parents, allies, and those pioneering a way to lead with love and kindness, I’m here with true, messy, and heart-warming stories, real tools, and grounding support to help you move from fear to fierce, informed action.Whether you’re listening in, working with me directly, or quietly taking it all in, I see you. And I’m so glad you’re part of this journey.More Human. More Kind. formerly Just Breathe: Parenting Your LGBTQ Teen is a safe and supportive podcast in a heartfelt and empowering space where a mom and advocate offers the wisdom of lived experience and practical guidance and education to parents and allies, teaching empathy, kindness, love, and strong boundaries while supporting LGBTQ teens and the diverse LGBTQ community, including gay, lesbian, bisexual, trans, transgender, and queer individuals, through conversations about mental health, grief, gender identity, sexual orientation, human rights, social justice, parenting, parent support, and meaningful LGBTQ allyship and allyship in action.This podcast uses the following third-party services for analysis: Podscribe - https://podscribe.com/privacy

Do you think of a threshold as a potential stumbling block or the place you stand before walking into something new or unknown?This Butterfly Effect episode builds on Tuesday's conversation about the five back-to-school thresholds parents face, with a small practice to help you name yours out loud instead of carrying it silently into September.In this episode, you'll learn how to:Name your threshold to someone you trust instead of carrying it aloneReach out to one teacher or administrator before a problem starts, not afterSay your protective instinct out loud without apologizing for itPress play for this week's word, tiny action, and one line worth stealing.Hi, I’m Heather Hester, and I’m so glad you’re here!Feeling uncertain or overwhelmed? Download my free guide to take you from Panic to Plan.Stay informed - visit my websiteInvite me to speak at your workshop or eventRead my book, Parenting with Pride. Share More Human. More Kind. Support Buy Me A CoffeeWatch on YouTubeListen to *NEW* episodes every Tuesday and Friday!At the heart of my work is a deep commitment to compassion, authenticity, and transformative allyship, especially for those navigating the complexities of parenting LGBTQ kids. Through this podcast, speaking, my writing, and the spaces I create, I help people unlearn bias, embrace their full humanity, and grow their capacity for courageous, compassionate connection.For parents, allies, and those pioneering a way to lead with love and kindness, I’m here with true, messy, and heart-warming stories, real tools, and grounding support to help you move from fear to fierce, informed action.Whether you’re listening in, working with me directly, or quietly taking it all in, I see you. And I’m so glad you’re part of this journey.More Human. More Kind. formerly Just Breathe: Parenting Your LGBTQ Teen is a safe and supportive podcast in a heartfelt and empowering space where a mom and advocate offers the wisdom of lived experience and practical guidance and education to parents and allies, teaching empathy, kindness, love, and strong boundaries while supporting LGBTQ teens and the diverse LGBTQ community, including gay, lesbian, bisexual, trans, transgender, and queer individuals, through conversations about mental health, grief, gender identity, sexual orientation, human rights, social justice, parenting, parent support, and meaningful LGBTQ allyship and allyship in action.This podcast uses the following third-party services for analysis: Podscribe - https://podscribe.com/privacy

Grab the Panic to Plan Guide Join me on SubstackEvery August, before a single backpack gets packed, there's a threshold parents like us cross. Not the kids. Us.Interest: For parents of lgbtq teens, or kids who are neurodivergent, anxious, or otherwise vulnerable, back-to-school anxiety isn't extra worry stacked on top of normal parent worry. It's the baseline. This episode names five distinct versions of that threshold so you can walk in with your eyes open instead of just white-knuckling it.Desire: In this episode you'll learn how to:Name your specific version of the back-to-school threshold instead of carrying a vague dreadRecognize five common thresholds parents face, from re-closeting fears to safety concernsCalibrate your level of involvement to where your kid actually is this year, not where they were last yearIdentify a genuinely safe adult and space in the building before a hard day makes it urgentAction: Press play for the Threshold Inventory and three more practical tools to use before the first day.Hi, I’m Heather Hester, and I’m so glad you’re here!Feeling uncertain or overwhelmed? Download my free guide to take you from Panic to Plan.Stay informed - visit my websiteInvite me to speak at your workshop or eventRead my book, Parenting with Pride. Share More Human. More Kind. Support Buy Me A CoffeeWatch on YouTubeListen to *NEW* episodes every Tuesday and Friday!At the heart of my work is a deep commitment to compassion, authenticity, and transformative allyship, especially for those navigating the complexities of parenting LGBTQ kids. Through this podcast, speaking, my writing, and the spaces I create, I help people unlearn bias, embrace their full humanity, and grow their capacity for courageous, compassionate connection.For parents, allies, and those pioneering a way to lead with love and kindness, I’m here with true, messy, and heart-warming stories, real tools, and grounding support to help you move from fear to fierce, informed action.Whether you’re listening in, working with me directly, or quietly taking it all in, I see you. And I’m so glad you’re part of this journey.More Human. More Kind. formerly Just Breathe: Parenting Your LGBTQ Teen is a safe and supportive podcast in a heartfelt and empowering space where a mom and advocate offers the wisdom of lived experience and practical guidance and education to parents and allies, teaching empathy, kindness, love, and strong boundaries while supporting LGBTQ teens and the diverse LGBTQ community, including gay, lesbian, bisexual, trans, transgender, and queer individuals, through conversations about mental health, grief, gender identity, sexual orientation, human rights, social justice, parenting, parent support, and meaningful LGBTQ allyship and allyship in action.Mentioned in this episode:Contact Hester Painting & Decorating for a consultation! https://go.hesterdecorating.com/mhmkThis podcast uses the following third-party services for analysis: Podscribe - https://podscribe.com/privacy