Strength in Softness: Supporting Your LGBTQ Child With Love During the Holidays

SPECIAL EPISODE ALERT!!We are so happy to share this special episode that is a celebration of both 6 years AND 200 episodes for this podcast! It is honest and raw...and the sound may be a little off our usual high quality recording levels.In this heartfelt milestone episode, Heather Hester is joined in person by two of her children, Connor and Grace, to share the deeply personal and powerful story of how their family moved from silence and fear to connection, growth, and unconditional love. (Steve, Isabelle, and Rowan were there in spirit and idea!) This isn’t just Heather’s story, it’s theirs. And it’s the story that quietly fuels everything More Human, More Kind has become.What You’ll Learn in This EpisodeHow one family navigated the complexity of religious upbringing, generational trauma, and LGBTQ+ identityThe emotional impact of unlearning what we’re taught, and how to rebuild with empathy and loveWhat it really looks like to come out as a familyThe role of softness, boundaries, and intentional parenting in healing and advocacyHow to lead with love when the world wants you to hardenWhat Heather’s kids really think about her work and how it’s shaped their own evolutionEpisode HighlightsA Real Family, A Real Journey: Connor and Grace share raw reflections about how their mom’s upbringing shaped her parenting and how their family broke painful patterns together.Generational Healing: Heather opens up about the complexity of parenting while holding a bridge to a family system that couldn’t (or wouldn’t) grow with her.Softness is Strength: A look back at what it means to stay open-hearted in the face of discomfort, and how empathy became their family's superpower.The Awakening: The moment that changed everything from fear to fierce love and how it led to this podcast, this mission, and this beautiful, brave community.Coming Out as a Family: Connor and Grace reflect on what it felt like to step into authenticity together, and why that bond changed them forever.Boundaries as Love: How Heather learned to hold the line with her own parents without passing on pain to her kids.From Fear to Fierce Allyship: Why showing up again and again, imperfectly but courageously, is the most powerful thing a parent can do.Key TakeawaysSoftness isn’t something you earn, it’s something you return to.Love doesn't erase pain; it makes space for it.Boundaries are not disconnection, they are love in action.Unlearning can be messy. But it’s where healing begins.You are not alone. You are not broken. You are becoming.Connect + ReflectWhat stories have you inherited and which ones are you ready to rewrite?How might softness serve your parenting, your relationships, or your advocacy today?What boundaries could you set that honor your humanity and keep you connected to love?Thank YouTo every listener, every brave parent, every LGBTQ+ kid and ally: thank you for being here. For choosing growth, for choosing softness, and for choosing to keep showing up.Special thanks to Connor and Grace for sharing their voices and their hearts so generously, for Steve, Isabelle, and Rowan for sharing their thoughts and support off mic, and to Samantha Mackey for facilitating this beautiful conversation and making the episode possible behind the scenes.Thank you for being part of this unfolding story. Here’s to the next 200!Hi, I’m Heather Hester, and I’m so glad you’re here!Become a <a...

Are you constantly bracing for impact this holiday season, snapping at your kids, holding your breath, pushing through?If you’re a parent of an LGBTQ+ child, an ally, or simply a human feeling stretched thin, this episode invites you to soften, not as a weakness, but as a radical act of strength, love, and nervous system regulation.In a world that rewards hard edges and overextension, Heather Hester offers a deeply human reframe: softness is how we stay connected to ourselves, to our children, and to what matters most.Backed by research from Dr. Stephen Porges and personal parenting insight, Heather explores:Why emotional softness is a form of strength, not weaknessHow to recognize when your body and parenting are operating in protection modeThe nervous system science behind soft tone, slower breath, and soft eyesWhy LGBTQ+ youth especially need softness as a signal of safety and inclusionYou'll walk away with practical, heartfelt guidance on how to:Build soft but clear boundaries with extended family, friends, and yourselfPractice “softer parenting” even in the middle of chaosRegulate your nervous system in real time with doable micro-practicesUse softness as a tool for healing, empathy, and fierce allyshipThis episode is for every parent, mom, and ally trying to hold it all together while still showing up with compassion and courage. You’ll learn to recognize your limits—not as failures, but as invitations to return to presence.Tune in now to discover the simple but powerful ways to lead with love, soften with intention, and create emotional safety for your LGBTQ+ teen, even in the most stressful seasons.Hi, I’m Heather Hester, and I’m so glad you’re here!Become a private clientAttend Friday Reflection LIVE on Substack - guided journaling and Q&amp;AInvite me to speak at your workshop or event Receive a free excerpt and reflection guide from my book, Parenting with Pride. Share More Human. More Kind. Please subscribe, rate, and review!Connect [email protected] on YouTubeListen to *NEW* episodes every Tuesday and Friday!At the heart of my work is a deep commitment to compassion, authenticity, and transformative allyship, especially for those navigating the complexities of parenting LGBTQ+ kids. Through this podcast, speaking, my writing, and the spaces I create, I help people unlearn bias, embrace their full humanity, and foster courageous, compassionate connection.If you’re in the thick of parenting, allyship, or pioneering a way to lead with love and kindness, I’m here with true, messy, and heart-warming stories, real tools, and grounding support to help you move from fear to fierce, informed...

Are you feeling pulled between preserving family peace and protecting your mental health this holiday season?You're not alone AND you're not doing it wrong. The holidays are often an emotional minefield, especially for parents of LGBTQ+ kids navigating outdated traditions, family dynamics, and identity stress. This episode is your permission slip to pause, breathe, and make room for something more aligned.Heather Hester offers a powerful, practical conversation about what it means to evolve, not erase, traditions that no longer fit who you or your family are now.Whether you're a mom, dad, caregiver, or fierce LGBTQ+ ally, you'll learn:How to recognize when a tradition has shifted from comforting to constrictingScripts for setting boundaries without guilt or apologyWhy honoring your truth is an act of love, not rejectionHow to build new, inclusive rituals rooted in empathy, safety, and healingWhat your child’s nervous system really needs from you this seasonThis episode offers more than parenting advice, it’s a reframe of what real love looks like during the holidays.When you, as a parent or ally, set boundaries with clarity and compassion, you model inclusion, emotional regulation, and authenticity. You show your LGBTQ+ child and yourself that they belong just as they are.You’ll also hear:A 5-step “Boundaries With Love” framework you can use todayReal-life examples from Heather’s own parenting journeyTools to dismantle the myth that sameness equals loveGentle encouragement to prioritize your family's unique needsListen now and take one simple, powerful action: Release the guilt. Embrace the boundary. Rewrite the tradition.Hi, I’m Heather Hester, and I’m so glad you’re here!Become a private clientAttend Friday Reflection LIVE on Substack - guided journaling and Q&amp;AInvite me to speak at your workshop or event Receive a free excerpt and reflection guide from my book, Parenting with Pride. Share More Human. More Kind. Please subscribe, rate, and review!Connect [email protected] on YouTubeListen to *NEW* episodes every Tuesday and Friday!At the heart of my work is a deep commitment to compassion, authenticity, and transformative allyship, especially for those navigating the complexities of parenting LGBTQ+ kids. Through this podcast, speaking, my writing, and the spaces I create, I help people unlearn bias, embrace their full humanity, and foster courageous, compassionate connection.If you’re in the thick of parenting, allyship, or pioneering a way to lead with love and kindness, I’m here with true, messy, and heart-warming stories, real tools, and grounding support to help you move from fear to fierce, informed action.Whether you’re listening in, working with me directly, or quietly taking it all in—I see you. And I’m so...

Are you an LGBTQ+ parent, ally, or advocate feeling exhausted by the emotional and logistical weight of the holiday season?You’re not alone. Many parents and caregivers, especially those supporting LGBTQ youth, enter this time of year overwhelmed, overextended, and overstimulated, unsure how to protect their own peace while showing up for others.In this powerful solo reflection, Heather Hester invites you to rethink everything you’ve been told about self-care.Forget the candles and curated routines. This episode explores what your nervous system actually needs to feel safe, grounded, and connected, especially as an LGBTQ+ parent or ally navigating complex family dynamics, grief, or societal pressure.You’ll discover:Why traditional “self-care” often fails LGBTQ+ parents and momsHow to recognize which type of rest you really need (emotional? sensory? social?)The biological and emotional reasons this season feels harder and how to shift itHow rest, boundaries, and breathwork become tools of love, empathy, and inclusionWhat if your rest and regulation were a form of allyship?When you, as a parent or advocate, honor your limits, you create a safer emotional space for your LGBTQ child or loved one. You model softness, stability, and trust just by being more human and more kind.In this episode, Heather offers:A science-backed 1-minute breath technique to lower stress (no meditation required)A breakdown of the 4 emotional “seasons” and how to align your care with each oneA practical guide to identifying your rhythm: motion, depletion, or recoveryGentle encouragement to release perfection, guilt, and performance-based loveBreathe with us. Then take one tiny, tangible step toward true rest. Listen now and rediscover the allyship that starts within.Hi, I’m Heather Hester, and I’m so glad you’re here!Become a private clientAttend Friday Reflection LIVE on Substack - guided journaling and Q&amp;AInvite me to speak at your workshop or event Receive a free excerpt and reflection guide from my book, Parenting with Pride. Share More Human. More Kind. Please subscribe, rate, and review!Connect [email protected] on YouTubeListen to *NEW* episodes every Tuesday and Friday!At the heart of my work is a deep commitment to compassion, authenticity, and transformative allyship, especially for those navigating the complexities of parenting LGBTQ+ kids. Through this podcast, speaking, my writing, and the spaces I create, I help people unlearn bias, embrace their full humanity, and foster courageous, compassionate connection.If you’re in the thick of parenting, allyship, or pioneering a way to lead with love and kindness, I’m here with true, messy, and heart-warming stories, real tools, and grounding support to help you move from fear to...

Feeling the pressure to find the perfect gift for your LGBTQ+ teen?In this soft, grounding episode, Heather shares what really matters to LGBTQ+ kids this time of year and how your presence and thoughtfulness can be more powerful than anything wrapped in a bow.Discover 5 human-centered gifts that build connection and joyLearn how to create belonging through slow rituals and shared presenceGet practical tips for meaningful, low-stress gift-giving even on a budgetUnlearn the myth that more gifts = more loveTune in now and walk away with a heart-centered plan to gift with meaning, not pressure. Your presence is already enough.Key TakeawaysPresence is the gift. The most meaningful thing you can give your LGBTQ+ teen is the feeling of being seen and safe.Intentional gifts build trust. Gifts that reflect identity, interests, or emotional needs foster connection not just excitement.Rituals matter. The 13 Sacred Nights tradition offers a grounding space for reflection, bonding, and family storytelling.You don’t have to spend a lot. A mug, a journal, a game, a handwritten note, or a shared recipe can say: I love who you are becoming.Performative gifting doesn’t equal love. True generosity is rooted in connection, not cost.Links mentioned in the episode:Human Being JournalOverthinker JournalWTF NotebooksEtsy for mugs, recipe cards, and an apronGames - Hitster and Who's Most Likely to...are two faves (instructions for Fishbowl are below)<a...

Do you pour out gratitude for everyone else, but forget to include yourself?As the holidays approach, gratitude can start to feel like a performance. In this soulful solo episode, Heather helps you reclaim it, starting with the most overlooked person in your life: you.Learn how thanking yourself rewires your brain and soothes your nervous systemUnderstand why authentic gratitude embraces both joy and griefTry a 3-minute practice to anchor appreciation in your body not just your mindReframe self-directed gratitude as strength, not selfishnessListen now to remember why you belong on your own gratitude list and how to gently come back to yourself, one breath at a time.Key TakeawaysMost gratitude practices leave you out of the equationSelf-gratitude is not arrogance, it’s acknowledgmentGratitude is most powerful in complex emotional landscapes, not perfect onesSelf-directed appreciation calms the nervous system and supports resilienceA gentle daily ritual can anchor gratitude into your body, not just your thoughts“Gratitude and grief can coexist” and often must, especially during the holidaysHi, I’m Heather Hester, and I’m so glad you’re here!Become a private clientAttend Friday Reflection LIVE on Substack - guided journaling and Q&amp;AInvite me to speak at your workshop or event Receive a free excerpt and reflection guide from my book, Parenting with Pride. Share More Human. More Kind. Please subscribe, rate, and review!Connect [email protected] on YouTubeListen to *NEW* episodes every Tuesday and Friday!At the heart of my work is a deep commitment to compassion, authenticity, and transformative allyship, especially for those navigating the complexities of parenting LGBTQ+ kids. Through this podcast, speaking, my writing, and the spaces I create, I help people unlearn bias, embrace their full humanity, and foster courageous, compassionate connection.If you’re in the thick of parenting, allyship, or pioneering a way to lead with love and kindness, I’m here with true, messy, and heart-warming stories, real tools, and grounding support to help you move from fear to fierce, informed action.Whether you’re listening in, working with me directly, or quietly taking it all in—I see you. And I’m so glad you’re part of this journey.More Human. More Kind. formerly Just Breathe: Parenting Your LGBTQ Teen is a safe and supportive podcast and space where a mom and mental health advocate offers guidance on parenting with empathy, inclusion, and open-minded allyship, fostering growth, healing, and empowerment within the LGBTQ community—including lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, and queer individuals—while addressing grief, boundaries, education, diversity, human rights, gender identity, sexual...

Are you constantly jumping in with advice only to feel more disconnected from the people you love?Whether you're navigating hard conversations with your LGBTQ+ teen or sitting down at a tense holiday dinner, the urge to "fix" is often fear in disguise. In this calming and powerful solo episode, Heather Hester unpacks why real connection doesn’t come from solving but from seeing.✔️ Learn a simple, science-backed practice to shift from reactivity to presence✔️ Discover how to listen without rushing, rescuing, or retreating✔️ Use Heather’s LISTEN method to guide any difficult conversation with love✔️ Get grounded tools to calm your nervous system when tensions risePress play now to discover the one shift that builds trust, deepens relationships, and reclaims connection, no fixing required.Key Takeaways:Fixing is often rooted in fear, not loveSilence is not awkward, it’s sacredListening without correcting builds psychological safety, the key to long-term trust“Do you want advice or just a listening ear?” can transform your relationshipsYou don’t need the right answers, you just need presenceLISTEN Framework Recap:L – Leave space: Breathe before respondingI – Inquire gently: Ask what kind of support is neededS – Stay curious: Reflect, don’t assumeT – Trust the silence: Let quiet be part of connectionE – Empathize, don’t evaluate: Say “That sounds really hard”N – Normalize not knowing: “I don’t have the answer, but I’m here.”Hi, I’m Heather Hester, and I’m so glad you’re here!Become a private clientAttend Friday Reflection LIVE on Substack - guided journaling and Q&amp;AInvite me to speak at your workshop or event Receive a free excerpt and reflection guide from my book, Parenting with Pride. Share More Human. More Kind. Please subscribe, rate, and review!Connect [email protected] on YouTubeListen to *NEW* episodes every Tuesday and Friday!At the heart of my work is a deep commitment to compassion, authenticity, and transformative allyship, especially for those navigating the complexities of parenting LGBTQ+ kids. Through this podcast, speaking, my writing, and the spaces I create, I help people unlearn bias, embrace their full humanity, and foster courageous, compassionate connection.If you’re in the thick of parenting, allyship, or pioneering a way to lead with love and kindness, I’m here with true, messy, and heart-warming stories, real tools, and grounding support to help you move from fear to fierce, informed action.Whether you’re listening in, working with me directly, or quietly taking it all in—I see you....

When your child comes out or shares something vulnerable do you freeze, fumble, or fear saying the wrong thing?Whether it’s about gender, sexuality, faith, or mental health, what your child is really asking in that moment is, “Can I trust you?” In this essential episode, Heather Hester shares the neuroscience, parenting wisdom, and personal stories behind why believing your child, even without full understanding, can literally save lives.✔️ Learn 8 powerful tools to communicate belief, safety, and love even when you’re still learning✔️ Discover how trauma-informed parenting strengthens your child's mental health and self-worth✔️ Hear why “I believe you” is more powerful than any answer you could give✔️ Let go of the myth that support requires full comprehensionIdentity doesn't need your permission to existPress play now to learn how to meet your child’s truth with trust, not fear, and why your belief may be the very bridge that keeps your connection (and their well-being) alive.Key TakeawaysBelief doesn’t require full understanding, it requires trust and presence.LGBTQ+ youth with one accepting adult are 40% less likely to attempt suicide.Pause before reacting: Your calm nervous system is the safety signal your child needs.Curiosity over correction is key: Replace “Are you sure?” with “Tell me more.”Repair matters more than perfection; own your mistakes with grace and keep growing.Every affirming act, like using their name or pronouns, tells your child: “You are safe with me.”Hi, I’m Heather Hester, and I’m so glad you’re here!Become a private clientAttend Friday Reflection LIVE on Substack - guided journaling and Q&amp;AInvite me to speak at your workshop or event Receive a free excerpt and reflection guide from my book, Parenting with Pride. Share More Human. More Kind. Please subscribe, rate, and review!Connect [email protected] on YouTubeListen to *NEW* episodes every Tuesday and Friday!At the heart of my work is a deep commitment to compassion, authenticity, and transformative allyship, especially for those navigating the complexities of parenting LGBTQ+ kids. Through this podcast, speaking, my writing, and the spaces I create, I help people unlearn bias, embrace their full humanity, and foster courageous, compassionate connection.If you’re in the thick of parenting, allyship, or pioneering a way to lead with love and kindness, I’m here with true, messy, and heart-warming stories, real tools, and grounding support to help you move from fear to fierce, informed action.Whether you’re listening in, working with me directly, or quietly taking it all in—I see you. And I’m so glad you’re part of this journey.More Human. More Kind. formerly Just

Are you overwhelmed by the speed, noise, and pressure of the season and craving a moment of genuine connection?In a world obsessed with performance and big gestures, we often forget the transformative power of the quiet, small moments: eye contact, a text, a name used correctly. Heather shares how these micro-moments of humanity can reset our nervous systems and ripple out more powerfully than we realize, especially for parents and allies of LGBTQ+ kids.✔️ Discover how small acts of kindness affect the brain and body in measurable, healing ways✔️ Learn a 3-step daily ritual to bring more presence, empathy, and grounding into your life✔️ Understand why tiny affirming behaviors are life-saving for LGBTQ+ youth✔️ Challenge the myth that if it’s not big, it doesn’t matterPress play now to reconnect with what really matters: being human, being kind, and being here.Key TakeawaysKindness is not a performance, it’s a nervous system reset for everyone involvedLGBTQ+ youth thrive on small affirming acts, which drastically reduce risk of depression and suicideMaking eye contact, offering silent blessings, or simply listening with presence are radical acts of loveYou don’t need to “fix” everything, just feel, notice, and act from empathyKindness isn’t weakness. Kindness is healing.What if kindness wasn't about being noticed, but about noticing? This simple shift in intention can change the way we parent, partner, and participate in the world.Hi, I’m Heather Hester, and I’m so glad you’re here!Become a private clientAttend Friday Reflection LIVE on Substack - guided journaling and Q&amp;AInvite me to speak at your workshop or event Receive a free excerpt and reflection guide from my book, Parenting with Pride. Share More Human. More Kind. Please subscribe, rate, and review!Connect [email protected] on YouTubeListen to *NEW* episodes every Tuesday and Friday!At the heart of my work is a deep commitment to compassion, authenticity, and transformative allyship, especially for those navigating the complexities of parenting LGBTQ+ kids. Through this podcast, speaking, my writing, and the spaces I create, I help people unlearn bias, embrace their full humanity, and foster courageous, compassionate connection.If you’re in the thick of parenting, allyship, or pioneering a way to lead with love and kindness, I’m here with true, messy, and heart-warming stories, real tools, and grounding support to help you move from fear to fierce, informed action.Whether you’re listening in, working with me directly, or quietly taking it all in—I see you. And I’m so glad you’re part of this journey.More Human. More Kind. formerly Just Breathe: Parenting Your LGBTQ Teen is a safe and supportive podcast...

BOUNUS Interview Episode!What if empathy wasn’t something you had to be born with but something you practiced, moment by moment?In today’s bonus episode, Heather sits down with Maria Gallucci, a CODA, LGBTQ+ parent, bestselling author, and fierce advocate for underrepresented voices. Her story will challenge how you think about empathy, identity, and belonging, and might just change how you show up in the world.Hear how growing up in a deaf family taught Maria the power of nonverbal communication, deep listening, and compassionUnderstand the emotional impact of being believed when coming out as LGBTQ+Learn why “just trying” can change someone’s entire dayDiscover how inclusive schools, small gestures, and language access ripple into lifelong healingPress play now to hear Maria’s powerful story and walk away with renewed commitment to connection over perfection.Key Themes &amp; Takeaways:Empathy begins with presence not perfectionYou don’t have to understand someone to support themSilence, when shared with love, becomes a bridgeChildren thrive when they are believed, seen, and supported“Just try” is more powerful than you think whether in communication or allyshipInclusive environments save lives (especially in schools)Everyone has a story and those on the margins deserve center stageBuy Raised In SilenceLearn more about Maria's workHi, I’m Heather Hester, and I’m so glad you’re here!Become a private clientAttend Friday Reflection LIVE on Substack - guided journaling and Q&amp;AInvite me to speak at your workshop or event Receive a free excerpt and reflection guide from my book, Parenting with Pride. Share More Human. More Kind. Please subscribe, rate, and review!Connect [email protected] on YouTubeListen to *NEW* episodes every Tuesday and Friday!At the heart of my work is a deep commitment to compassion, authenticity, and transformative allyship, especially for those navigating the complexities of parenting LGBTQ+ kids. Through this podcast, speaking, my writing, and the spaces I create, I...